Week 16: The Psychology of Skywalkers

(Skywalker family)

Bend Over Backwards

Stage lights flashed on and the audience burst into applause as Dr. Fil ascended the steps and took up the microphone.

"Thank you! Thank you, ladies and gentlemen!" He waved, straightening his tie. "We have a very special group of guests with us here today. Please give a warm welcome to the Skywalker family."

Clapping politely, the audience turned their attention to seven chairs arranged on the dais and the guests emerging from the wings.

"We know it was no small feat getting here," Dr. Fil said, "and we thank you Shmi, Anakin, Luke, Leia, Ben, Kol and...is one missing?"

Axe To Grind

"Yes, we're missing one," Kol said with resignation. "Just get started without him."

"All right." Dr. Fil nodded, taking his seat. "And I understand that your spouses are all here with you?" The camera panned to the front row where Padme and Mara nodded politely, Han rolled his eyes, and Morrigan spoke up, "That's EX-spouse."

"Very good." Dr. Fil turned back to the guests. "Now, you have all come here today to discuss the difficulty of being a member of this family. Anakin, would you like to start?"

"Sure. They," Anakin glared down the row, "say everything is my fault."

Rise and Shine

Shmi patted her son's hand. "Now, Ani -"

A crash from stage right brought startled yelps from the audience as the seventh member of the family staggered onto stage and plopped into his seat with a groan.

Dr. Fil looked down at his cards. "And this must be Cade."

Cade grunted.

"Is he high?" Ben whispered.

"Probably," Luke answered, rubbing his forehead.

"If I may," Leia started, sitting up straight. "I'm pretty sure that THAT," she pointed to Cade, "is not your fault, Father."

"Like YOU," Kol pointed back at Leia, "have so much room to talk about your son!"

Tongue and Cheek

The stage erupted in shouts.

"Now, look!"

"It's the TRUTH!"

"...completely uncalled for!"

"You cannot blame me..."

"If you'd raised your own kids -!"

"YOU let Ben train with him!"

"He was deceived!"

"He was evil!"

"...drug addict there!"

"Everyone!" Dr. Fil waved his hand in the air. "Everyone, PLEASE! Let's calm -"

The audience started chanting: "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

A new host arrived, snatching the microphone from Dr. Fil's hand, and the chants changed to: "Ger-ry!" "Ger-ry!" "Ger-ry!"

Black-clad bouncers attempted to circle the guests but backed down when the stage lit up with the glow of multi-colored lightsabers.

Without A Doubt

Blaster shots from both sides of the stage reverberated over the cheering crowd as Mara and Morrigan stomped up the steps, guns leveled, followed quickly by the equally irate Padme and Han.

At the sight of Morrigan in her low-cut bustier, the chants changed to: "Take it off! Take it off!"

Gerry grinned, pointing to the dancer's pole.

Morrigan shot him.

The Skywalkers, faced with a wall of armed and dangerous significant others, powered down sabers and took their seats.

Except Cade, who was snoring.

Shakily, Dr. Fil reclaimed his microphone. "I think we might need to call in professionals."