Title: Bad Romance (working title – still no idea for a real title)
Author:zealot1138
Pairing: Renji x Ichigo
Rating: M (for language, situations, yaoi – angst, romance, sex, fluff)

Summary: AU. Ichigo is so NOT gay, so when he goes to the exclusive bordello Club Sakura, will a certain redhead named Renji make him think twice?

Disclaimer for the entire story: I do NOT own any of these characters from BLEACH which belongs to Tite Kubo et al. Thank you.

DISCLAIMER: All characters depicted in sexual situations in this post/fanfiction/fanart (including material in the comments) are fictional and are intended to be and considered to be by the author of said material of the legal age of consent (THIS INCLUDES TOSHIRO WHO IS NOT A KID IN THIS AU) in the United States state of California, regardless of what age these characters may be in the material they are derived from.

Hello again. I am SO stoked by those who've been kind enough to review and add this Story Alert. _ It's the only reason I am typing this up at 3am local to try and put it out in the hopes you will read and enjoy.

Yeah, sorry, no smex yet and it might be a while before I get up to it. I guess I'm more a wordy storyteller than a good smex writer. :-\

Well, if my descriptions bug you, let me know via reviews, please.

I think I like AU fics because it gives you a chance to really make these characters come to life where everything isn't about zanpaktous and kidou and stuff. (That's right, sithmouse! I'm talkin' about you and A HOLLOW LIFE! XD !!!)

So THANK YOU THANK YOU for taking the time to read, comment, set an alert. It's the only big o' love that got me to do more writing today. XD

I hope this doesn't disappoint too much.

Chapter 2

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I don't like this one bit. Ichigo shifted uncomfortably in the car seat, wanting nothing more than to tear off the blindfold Rukia had forced him and Keigo to wear once they got into the car. While Ichigo wasn't obsessed with material possessions, he had a definite appreciation for the nicer things in life, so even he was impressed when the Maybach pulled up to escort the boys to the location where Keigo would get the gift of a lifetime.

"Ichi-gooooooooooo! Look at this car! Ah! Mizuiro is going to be SO jealous when he finds out he missed out on this!"

"OK, Ichigo. This is Soi Fon and her driver, Ōmaeda." Rukia offered the brief introduction before moving over to pull Keigo away from the car before he drooled all over it.

Ichigo tried to be pleasant in this awkward circumstance by giving a perfectly polite, "Nice to meet you." He noticed the driver, Ōmaeda, seemed to reply with a grunt, but the petite woman merely narrowed her eyes further as she looked over Ichigo and Keigo before returning her gaze at Rukia.

Without turning her head, Soi Fon threw out two black silk blindfolds at Ichigo, who caught it easily with one hand. He smirked at the woman thinking he was glad to find all this time spent on kendo , basketball, and other sports had gotten him to be in shape and well-coordinated. He thought it might annoy the woman, since she obviously tried to catch Ichigo off guard, but Soi Fon never turned to face him, so her mood (besides looking sour) was unreadable.

While trying not to get exasperated by Keigo's childish shenanigans, Rukia cajoled him into finally getting inside the car by exclaiming, "There's an entertainment system inside, and a reclining massage feature!"

"OOOOOOHHHHH-." The door slammed shut quickly behind Keigo as Ōmaeda and Soi Fon also climbed in, shutting their doors firmly. Rukia walked around to give Ichigo some final instructions – a precaution and requirement by her nii-sama so there would be no foul ups.

Rukia had given him another run down on the rules. Of course, he was slightly irritated by her tendency to talk to him like he was a kid, but since that was her style and because she really was doing him a big favor for Keigo, he let it slide. However, sitting in a car, blindfolded, and being watched by a sour (and deadly) enforcer and her giant sidekick driver was making Ichigo really reconsider if all of this was worth the effort, even for his good friend. Before he could get further irritated with the situation, he felt the car coming to a stop.

As the car door opened, Soi Fon's voice rang through clearly, "Don't even think about taking off those blindfolds. We'll help you inside and then let you know when you can take it off."

Keigo's enthusiasm which hadn't diminished by a fraction bounced in his seat. "IchiGO! Isn't this so exciting! I can't wait!"

"Yeah." Ichigo then allowed himself to be guided by a hand on his shoulder and he followed as directed. He could hear Keigo breathing and felt the slighter man. Once Ichigo could tell they were inside, the hand on his shoulder motioned for him to stop.

"You can take those off now."

Ichigo yanked off his blindfold trying to figure out to whom this new voice belonged. Before he could look to focus, his breath caught as the sight around him.

He and Keigo were standing in a magnificent foyer with cathedral ceilings – ceilings that held a large glass skylight that showcased the night's nearly full moon which outshone the stars. Around him were countless art pieces, most of which he could actually recognize as classic and priceless works from the kind of names you learn about in school. He looked down to see the floor was wall-to-wall marble with accents all around that glimmered in gold tone. Ichigo was starting to think that the trim probably was real gold and he started to understand why Rukia was so anal retentive about the instructions and details she swore he had to follow. Finally regaining some of his senses, he looked at the face that stood before him and Keigo.

This is what the big fuss is about? Ichigo's eyebrow twitched while looking at a handsome, though hardly life-and-death secrecy inducing, man dressed in a simple but elegant black suit with white shirt and no tie. Ichigo assumed the man shaved his head, and it was evident under the trim suit's cut that this person worked out.

And next to him, Ichigo could feel the black vapors of strong disappointment emanating from Keigo's aura.

"I know what yer thinkin' and I ain't a choice so you can just stop yer lame thoughts a'ready. I'm one o' the security guards. Name's Ikkaku. I don't usually do the greetin' but since this ain't a normal night, Lady Unohana doesn't have to be here to host you's two."

Ichigo and Keigo looked at one another before moving forward to follow Ikkaku. While both felt this admission helped alleviate some of the concern, yet again Ichigo was wondering if the unique exclusivity of Club Sakura was merely an urban myth after all.

Just then, another voice approached to join them. "Oh, Ikkaku! Are you scaring the young lads already?" This voice of eloquence and lightness cut into the atmosphere and it was only then the harshness across Ikkaku's features softened. An exquisitely handsome young male, lithe and trim, with a shoulder length bob perfectly framing his beautiful features approached and stopped next to Ikkaku to face Ichigo and Keigo. Keigo's eyes widened with awed appreciation, and even Ichigo thought, OK, this is a definite step in the right direction. He looked over at Keigo and got the impression his friend was rather impressed by the beauty of the man.

"Don't let him intimidate. This isn't his normal routine especially since this isn't a normal evening for us either. My name is Yumichika. But you may call me Yumi." He extended a slender, perfectly manicured hand and as Keigo moved forward to shake it, Ichigo noticed the glare returning to Ikkaku's face. The man also shifted closer to Yumi in a slightly possessive stance. Remind me to keep Keigo away from this one. He's obviously taken. Ichigo snickered to himself, which caught Yumi's eye.

"You must be Ichigo. Rukia-chan told us to take good care of you and Keigo. Why don't you both follow me."

They followed the cheerful Yumi and moody Ikkaku further into the grand museum as elegant entertaining home. As they approached two massive French doors, two servants seemed to emerge from thin air to open the doors in perfect timing to the group's approach, and as they passed the threshold, even Ichigo's jaw dropped at the sight before him.

Not even seeing the impressive designer furnishings and architecture of the massive entertaining hall, all throughout the room milled about some of the most gorgeous group of males Ichigo had ever seen outside something from a movie or fashion show. He could just about hear Keigo's heart stop as his eyes bulged out to engorge itself on the delectable male eye candy in front of them.

"IchiGO!" loudly whispered Keigo. "Oh my god! How do I choose?!?! Help me decide. Please?!" Keigo wrapped his arms around Ichigo's neck, restricting his windpipe and making Ichigo choke.

"Gack! Keigo – leggo! Your gift here is so you wouldn't try and choke me to death anymore!" As Ichigo fought to extricate himself from Keigo's limbs, Yumi interrupted the humorous duo.

"May I offer some insight to help you choose? Unless you'd be fine with choosing me." Yumi gave both boys a genuine and beautiful smile. It was hard not to be a bit mesmerized by his charm. However, the glare and raging aura that rose about Yumi's shoulder from one angry bodyguard in black was enough to make Keigo back down and Ichigo almost feel sorry for his friend.

Ichigo gave Keigo a friendly pat on the shoulder before asking,, "Thanks for the offer, Yumi. I think Keigo might like the insight you can provide."

"Oh, wonderful!" Yumi smiled and clapped elegantly in delight. Ikkaku's tension seemed to ease now they he knew Yumi would be off limits and to see him in such good spirits always made Ikkaku smile as well. The two dated secretly on the side, and while Ikkaku had absolutely no say in whomever Yumi saw for work, Ikkaku hardly thought this special favor of an evening to help Byakuya-sama's sister was worth Yumi's time, let alone some nobody getting his hands on Yumi.

Yumi squeezed Ikkaku's hand surreptitiously to reassure his (secret) lover before moving over to whisper his inside knowledge (i.e. gossip) to Keigo and Ichigo. "Ok, let's start from the front of the room and move about counterclockwise, yes?"

Keigo enthusiastically yelled, "YES!" Ichigo cringed at Keigo's immature antics, some of which he'd hoped would have ebbed since getting into college life, but he realized no such luck. Ichigo's only thought was he was glad Keigo wasn't allowed even a hint about the club's true identity – which he was at the infamous Club Sakura aka the B&B. He was starting to realize there would be no way Keigo could keep his mouth shut about his "first time." At least, short of the guy's name, he won't be able to share much once the night was over.

Ichigo and Keigo followed along as best they could while Yumi giddily shared tidbits about each man lounging about the room. They were all eyeing the two new bodies in the room with Yumi. The boys were not overly enthusiastic since these were neither VIPs nor anyone with real money. Deflowering a virgin "nobody" was usually something that would never come to pass at the Sakura, but everyone had to step up for Byakuya-sama, and for some reason, he had a soft spot for his little sister, Rukia. No one knew why, but no one wanted to exactly ask the man either.

Ichigo sensed the odd vibe but he tried to keep tabs, for Keigo's sake, of course. He noted the handsome but sad looking blond was named Kira, and he supposedly had a sugar daddy VIP named Gin. A spiky-haired hottie who sported a 69 tattoo on the cheek definitely caught Keigo and Ichigo's notice. He was named Shuuhei, and besides the tat, one couldn't help noticing his muscular arms which were shown off well in the tight white tee with the arms rolled up in a sleeveless style. Another one hard to miss wore his cropped blue-tinged locks in a messy short 'do and who seemed to be staring right at them. Grimmjow, I think. Uh, temperamental, is what Yumi called him. With getting a full glance of the rest of the guys – Szayel, Ilforte, Toshiro… Ichigo was never good with names, and he'd never remember any of them all, but it seemed like Keigo was pretty much smitten with the tattooed one. Thank god. At least the sooner he gets this started, the sooner we can leave. Ichigo watched as Keigo was led away by Yumi towards the spiky-haired Shuuhei. Ichigo looked around to see what he might do until Keigo was finished. He had no idea why but Keigo had insisted Ichigo stay until he was "done." I guess this is what happened to Mizuiro all those times.

Ikkaku, now getting bored without Yumi beside him, stepped closer to chat with Ichigo. "So, who're you gonna pick, eh?" He cocked his head towards the blue-haired fellow before continuing, "Looks like Grimm o'er there might take a likin' to ya." Ikkaku's eyes gave a playful but sinister gleam as he eyes the orange-haired young man before him.

Ichigo put up a hand before saying, "Nah, I'm not gay-"

"Then why the hell are ya here? Don't you know what the B&B is?" A deep voice with a hint of a snicker cut through Ichigo's sentence.

The orange-topped young man was thoroughly annoyed by this rude interruption. As he turned around with mouth wide open to let loose his tirade, he stopped dead as he faced the body that uttered words moments before as his brown eyes met with burgundy ones. Ichigo swallowed the large lump that mysteriously developed in his throat as he took in the sight before him. A lean but muscular build at 6'2" towered over his 5'8" frame. The taller man was wearing a long-sleeved black silk shirt that was worn loose and unbuttoned which showed off the most incredible tribal tattoo patterns across his chest and six-pack abs and seemed to dip below the low-rise leather pants that showed off his hip bones and lay skintight over muscular thighs and a bulge in the man's package that Ichigo assumed is not a tube sock. Topping off the attractive body was a cascade of fiery red hair which he wore long and slung to the side in a casual low ponytail which somehow didn't look effeminate on this man; it just made him look extremely sexy.

The redhead slapped his hand warmly on Ichigo's shoulder before introducing himself. "I'm just messing with ya. The name's Renji, but you can call me whatever ya want, if that's what does it for ya." Renji gave him a playful wink before spreading his lips into a wide smile.

Ichigo felt a jolt go through him when the hand touched his shoulder, but he immediately dismissed it by trying to retaliate by explaining that he knew where he was and why he was there. "Look, Renji, it's not like I should have to explain myself to you, but I'm here for my friend. He's right over there, talking to the guy with the tattoo on his face." Ichigo looked back at Renji before adding, "Uh, does everyone-, er, do all you guys... have one?"

"What?" Renji looked down at his chest and then looked back up at the younger man. "Oh, you mean the ink? Nah, just me and him." Renji nodded in Keigo's direction. "Your buddy is talking to my friend Shuuhei. And Shuu's only got it on his face." He turned his attention back to the orange-haired man. "So, Mr. 'I'm not gay,' ya got a name?"

"Oh, right. I'm Ichigo."

"Yer kidding, right?"

"Don't even start with me. And nothing you can say will be original enough to merit anything but a punch to the face - so don't even bother trying."

Renji broke out into his classic wolfish grin before he leaned over to breathe heavily right into Ichigo's ear. "I've never swallowed a strawberry before. Mind if I start with ya?"

Ichigo's eyes went wide and he started to blush before his usual reaction of anger kicked in. "What the fuck, man! I told you I'm not gay!" Before Ichigo could shove away the flirtatious redhead, Renji sidestepped quickly and started to laugh. All the other eyes in the room began to stare at the two gingers to which Ichigo started to feel even more self-conscious as his face started to turn red.

Renji glanced over and actually started to feel for the guy, so he pulled himself together before restarting their conversation. "Ah, sorry kid," he chuckled, "but I'm guessin' ya hadn't heard that before, neh?"

He placed his hand on Ichigo's shoulder again as an apology to which he expected it to be flung off. But instead, Ichigo shifted his body away from facing Renji, but he didn't remove the hand which encouraged Renji to continue. "We just get a bunch of older business types and they're usually pretty stuffy, so I thought I'd let loose a bit. I usually have to try and be 'professional' but somehow, I didn't think that'd be your vibe."

Ichigo turned back to look at the redhead as he absorbed the words. He had never really been around men who slept with other men, let alone those who got paid for it, but this man was treating him no differently than like his friends from high school. His college friends were too focused on "the future" so there were no jibes or jokes - everything was so serious. He was less annoyed but he didn't want to let Renji know that, so he merely shrugged in response and turned back to face the man.

"Look, the club has off limits just for you and your friend, and since you're not 'interested,' what are you going to do for the rest of the night? Because it looks like he's decided to go with Shuu for the evening." Ichigo turned in the direction Renji was looking and saw that Keigo was all sparkly eyed as he followed the attractive dark-haired man named Shuuhei. They walked off hand-in-hand towards the hallway that housed impressive looking doors that undoubtedly held the private bedrooms for the men and their clientele. It hadn't really dawned on Ichigo what he would do once Keigo found his "date" for the evening. He hadn't thought that far in advance when he came up with this gift idea. He didn't feel like standing around for god knows how long but he didn't feel right about leaving Keigo with a bunch of strangers in a strange place either especially since he already promised to stay.

Rubbing the back of his head with one hand, Ichigo expressed his sheepishness by declaring, "Honestly, I hadn't even thought about it... I guess I'll just sit around and wait for Keigo. I mean, it's OK if I just sit and wait?" Ichigo looked to Renji needing some kind of guidance to which he'd never ask for directly.

There was a kind of brusque but honest quality about the younger man that Renji found to be refreshing. He never confused his clients as being anything but business, but since Ichigo wasn't to be a client then or ever from what he could gather about the night's arrangement, he figured being himself for a few hours wouldn't hurt anything.

"If ya want, you can chill in my room for a while. We can watch a movie or play a game. I got an advance copy of Call of Duty's Modern Warfare."

Ichigo's eyes went wide. "No way! That's like almost a year from their proposed release date! How'd you manage to get that?"

"Well, it's only their beta but you can still play a few levels which is good enough. Let's just say one of the key executives tries to entice me with gifts and whatnot."

"And, what if I don't want to go to your room with you?"

Renji shrugged. "Meh, suit yourself. I'm going back there to chill. You can stay here all night." With a slight wave of the hand, Renji started to walk down the hallway in the same direction Keigo had disappeared.

Once Renji was away from Ichigo's side, all the other men working the club began to eye Ichigo hungrily, especially Grimmjow. Ichigo was the only potential client of the evening, and he was a delicious one at that. In feeling the eyes weighing heavily on him, he decided to go after Renji and quickly shuffled off to catch up to the redhead. "Oi, Renji!"

Upon hearing his name, he stopped and slowly turned around to wait for Ichigo to catch up. Renji broke out into a smile. He knew the newbie would feel uncomfortable with all the hungry eyes around, so he had a feeling it wouldn't have taken long for Ichigo to take up his offer. Renji had a long list of steady clients to which taking money from Ichigo even if he did want sex would have felt wrong. Based on the story he'd heard from Rukia, Renji found it endearing that the guy would go through all the trouble to help a friend.

Upon reaching the ornate double doors labeled with 6, Renji opened the door and walked through. He then held it open to allow Ichigo to pass through as well.

TBC

There is more written, but it's not done and this break seemed to be a better stop for now. Please review and/or comment – since it's the only fuel to my writing desire. 8D

Thanks!