This is the sequel I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read 'Living on a Prayer' for it to make sense.

This chapter was made possible by the infinite patience of Stayce and by readers like you.

Thank you Stayce, you rock!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to JE, the title belongs to Bon Jovi

Keep the Faith

Chapter 3

I was going home to walk Bob and take him to my parents' house. And I was not going to my desk to work until I could trust myself not to confront Ranger. Like, what would I say? When I asked him if he was okay earlier he had just sort of nodded. I had a feeling similar questions would get similar responses.

The elevator didn't stop on the 5th floor, the floor the control room was on, or any other floor; I'd caught the express, thank God. That way I didn't have to face any of the guys, and I was happy about it because I didn't know what to say to them either. Even the question how I was doing was tough to answer right now.

I chewed on my lip all the way to the garage. I was totally confused and hadn't a clue what to do about anything. I needed a doughnut, even better, half a dozen.

I yanked my car door open and glanced at the parked cars. Ranger's cars had been there all week, and now the Turbo was missing. I reasoned that he hadn't told me where this meeting of his was; I'd just assumed it was at RangeMan. For all I knew it could be in Miami, although he wouldn't have made it there in ten minutes, so the meeting had to be close by.

A million thoughts raced through my mind as I drove to the bakery and then home on autopilot. I would have never made it if I was driving anywhere else; I was totally oblivious to my surroundings.

As expected, Bob had been waiting for me and was over-anxious to go for a walk. He didn't like it when I left him alone overnight. He was perfectly capable of holding it in, but sometimes when he thought I was gone too long, there were accidents. And every time I wiped up his pee or his puke, I remembered why Rex had been my favorite roommate for so long. Hamsters are so much less maintenance.

Bob and I went the small round that allowed him to relieve himself and sniff the latest pee-mail on the closest fire hydrants and trees, but didn't amount to exercise for me. When we were back upstairs, I filled his bowls and gave Rex some more leftovers and a raisin and waited for him to rush out of his can so I could tell him about my night. He finally did come out to check out his breakfast, but just stuffed it in his cheeks and buried himself in his soup can again. The message was clear: I was on my own on this one. I ate my doughnuts and felt a little better, but I still didn't have any epiphanies.

I figured since I'd asked Eddie to meet me for lunch, it had been clear to me then that I had no intention of waiting for Harry's henchman to pick me up. And now I really felt the urge to tell someone, and Eddie had the added advantage of bringing in a cop's point of view. Because Eddie was a friend first and a cop second, I could trust him to have my best interest in mind when I'd ask him for a suggestion.

I changed out of my work clothes into jeans and a t-shirt, put on three layers of mascara and extra eyeliner for courage, then I grabbed Bob and my pocketbook and left my apartment. It was already past ten and I didn't want to chance running into Guzzarella, just in case he showed up early to pick me up.

I never had to call ahead to find out if my parents were home, even if they both went out at the same time, Grandma Mazur would be there. And they were used to me dropping off Bob to Doggy day care at different times.

As usual, my mom and grandmother were standing behind the screen door when I parked, alerted by some inner radar to my arrival.

"Are you staying for lunch?" My mother asked, "Your father is out to get fresh rolls and cold cuts from Giovichinni's and I have chicken salad."

"I'm meeting Eddie Gazarra for lunch," I told her. "I can't stay." Mom frowned. "Why are you meeting married men for lunch?"

That made Grandma Mazur grin. Bob pulled me past them into the kitchen. "I'm not meeting a married man," I explained. "I'm meeting a friend for lunch." I didn't know where mom was coming from, she knew I'd known Eddie practically my whole life.

"It's Dr. Phil," Grandma Mazur explained. "They had unmarried women who have affairs with married men on yesterday." She was still grinning. I rolled my eyes. "I am not having an affair with anybody! I have a boyfriend!"

Mom looked like she was going to say something, but since I knew she was of the opinion that at my age, I should have a husband, not a boyfriend, and preferably a couple of kids, I cut her off. "Can I borrow the Buick?" I asked, mainly to change the subject but also because I had an idea.

Mom looked confused for a beat so Grandma spoke up "Of course you can, you know where it is. Something wrong with your shiny black company car?" Now they both looked at me expectantly. Yeah, there was something wrong with it. It had a GPS tracker and I didn't know how to disable it since I didn't know where exactly it was. And I had this idea of driving until I ran out of gas. Just get on 95 South and never look back. One thing I really did well was avoidance, and leaving everything behind that bothered me seemed like a good idea. For a second. Then I shook my head to clear it. "Nothing wrong with it," I said, "I promised my colleagues I would show them the Buick. They're really into classic cars."

Not really a lie, the Merry Men were guys first and foremost and thus interested in cars. Plus it had successfully distracted Mom, even though I wasn't going with my idea anymore. I thanked Grandma Mazur and declined my mom's dinner invitation before I gave Bob a hug on my way out. I managed to leave before my mom or Grandma Mazur could grill me on the details of my meeting with Eddie, and I let out the breath I'd been holding as I eased Big Blue into midday traffic. Sure I was a good liar, but I couldn't think of a good excuse why I'd meet Eddie in the middle of the week at Pino's.

It was too early to go to the restaurant so I stopped by the cemetery to visit Joe's grave. I went there about once a week to bring new flowers or to just think. The jury is still out on whether I believe in an afterlife or something, but I always felt close to Joe when I sat by his grave. And even though he didn't respond, I talked to him. I imagined his reactions to what I said and it always kind of made me feel better.

Not today though. I left the cemetery feeling just as clueless as before. I wanted to believe that inner voice that kept insisting I was making way to big a deal out of everything.

So I owed a mob boss a favor and Ranger was acting totally weird. It wasn't like genocide in Darfur or seal hunting in Canada. I sat in Big Blue in the cemetery's parking lot and tried to decide on my next steps. I still wanted to up and run but I knew it was useless. Even if I got away from the Family, I'd never stop thinking about Ranger.

I pulled out my cell phone and flipped it open. The wallpaper was a picture of Ranger and I taken at the RangeMan Company Day. I'd been snockered and was leaning into him, my back to his front. His arms were around me and his head was on my shoulder. I couldn't remember what he'd said, but I was smiling at him. Neither one of us was looking at the camera, I knew I hadn't even seen it.

I grimaced and hit the phone book button, but then I stopped after I'd selected Ranger's cell phone. What should I say? And did I trust myself to stay calm? Just like the night before, I knew that if I lost it, Ranger would stay calm and that would make it worse for me. And why would I lose it? There was nothing wrong, right?

I closed the phone with a sigh. No, it was better to get some distance, find something sane to say to him. Distance as in some time, not in miles.

It was 11:30 and it would take me at least ten minutes to get to Pino's from the cemetery, so I was now right on time.

Eddie was already waiting for me, leaning against his cruiser, his thumbs hooked into his gun belt, still in uniform. He smiled when he saw me and gave me a hug.

"What's that for?" I asked. Not that Eddie had never hugged me, but it was unusual. He shrugged. "You looked like you needed a hug." I smiled and locked arms with Eddie. "I did."

We walked into the restaurant that way and were immediately met by the enticing pizza smells and a few curious looks. Since lunch hour was in full swing, Pino's was packed, but we managed to get a booth in the big room.

"So what's up?" Eddie asked when we had ordered. "What makes you think something is up?" I asked, "Maybe I just wanted to have lunch with a friend." Eddie nodded. "If you just wanted to have lunch you would've come by the station a half hour ago. You called last night and the last time we had lunch here, you told me your life could be in danger."

He had a point. It was years ago, but I'd been afraid Benito Ramirez would make me disappear and had volunteered Eddie to give me gun lessons.

The waitress brought our drinks at that moment, a beer for me and Coke for Eddie, since he was still on duty, and I got another minute to think about how to word what I wanted to say.

'Oh, just do it!' I told myself by way of a pep talk and took a deep breath. I had to tell somebody, it might as well be my friend since grade school!

"So…do you remember after Joe was shot, when I tried to hide from Gardner?" Eddie frowned. "He's still in prison, right? I haven't heard anything else."

"As far as I know. This is not about him." I took another sip of my beer for courage. "This is about something I did back then."

Eddie's frown deepened. "Are you in trouble?"

"There's all kinds of trouble," I said. "This is the kind that could be trouble, but I don't know yet." He shook his head. "Okay, try that one again. You're not making much sense here."

I sighed. I had to admit I was being pretty vague. "So before things got really bad, I decided to pursue Joe's killer by myself, I didn't know it was Gardner then." Eddie motioned for me to continue. "And because I didn't want Ranger to…step in, I took off on my own."

When Eddie just nodded I continued. "So anyway, I needed a place to stay and I knew Ranger would contact everyone I knew to find me. So I called someone he wouldn't think of."

"Who?" Eddie asked, his expression already showing that he knew he wouldn't like my answer. I took a deep breath. "Harry the Hammer."

"Steph…" Eddie started, but I held up a hand to stop him so I could finish. "He offered me his hotel room in Atlantic City to stay, that was all." Eddie winced. "For what price?"

I lowered my eyes. "He only said I'd owe him."

"Jesus, Stephanie!" Gazarra exclaimed and heads turned at the nearby tables. Our pizza arrived and Eddie's face was red with the effort to keep quiet while the waitress was at our table.

"Does the saying 'deal with the devil' mean anything to you?" He asked when we were alone again. I selected a slice of pizza. "Oh, come on, Harry's not that bad!" I almost regretted my decision to tell him.

Eddie took a calming breath and a sip of his soda. "Okay, what did you promise him?"

"Nothing. I just said okay when he said I'd owe him a favor."

"How much exactly do you know about Harry?" Eddie leaned forward, almost whispering now. I swallowed. And suddenly I didn't know what I knew; I was trying to remember the stories I'd heard. "Well, the usual," I said evasively, "Nothing new in a while. Only the rumors about back in the day."

The mob had a strong history in Trenton. 'Back in the day', the Burg was ruled by it. Some people were walked out of their houses in the pajamas, only to be found days later at the landfill, that kind of thing. Mostly it was all just nostalgia now, I figured.

"Mob activity has been quiet the last couple years," Eddie said. "Here in Trenton, there haven't even been investigations, much less arrests. I'll check the records to make sure. Used to be, Harry wasn't someone you owed a favor. Maybe things have changed."

I took another slice of pizza. "See? No big." I wasn't quite sure if I was trying to convince Eddie or myself though. We both knew that just because Trenton Police didn't have anything on Harry, it didn't mean that he was a choirboy now.

Eddie finally took a slice of pizza. "Be careful," he said. "And promise me to call me if you have any problems."

"I will," I assured him. "So far I don't even know what the favor is. A guy named Mario Guzzarella called to remind me of it." I watched Eddies' reaction to the name carefully. "Do you know him?"

He shook his head. "But I'm gonna check him out when I get back to the station. Don't agree to see him until you hear back from me, and until you have backup, okay?" No problem, since I'd already missed the rendezvous Mario had suggested. Eddie seemed relieved when I told him I'd wait to hear back from him and I would tell him if I was contacted in the meantime.

We finished the pizza and our drinks and Eddie made me promise him once more I'd contact him immediately before he left. I stayed in the booth after he was gone, trying to decide if I felt better now that I had talked about it and I realized I'd only gotten one of my worries out. Since I was already sharing, I might as well get another opinion on Ranger's behavior.

Mary Lou would listen and give some best friend advice, but Lula knew Ranger a lot better and she could try and ask Tank for input, too. I called her and asked if she wanted to meet me for coffee. I would have suggested we meet at my apartment, but I didn't know if Guzarella was still waiting for me. Lula was at the hair salon and suggested dinner instead and I agreed. It was probably better timing anyway, since I still had to work my RangeMan job today.

I'd left my RangeMan car at my parents', almost following my gut instinct to leave Trenton. The Buick couldn't be tracked. Ranger had once made me promise I'd never run away from him again.

Was that what I was getting ready to do? Run away?

"I don't know!" I yelled and thunked my head on the steering wheel. I was sitting outside my parents' house trying to decide what car to take to work. I knew I only had a few minutes to decide because my mom would come out soon, asking me what the heck I was doing sitting in my car.

Then I realized Mom and Grandma Mazur might question my sanity even more than usually if I returned Big Blue now, since I'd made such a big deal out of taking it earlier, I'd look like an idiot if I'd returned it. I peeled away from the curb hoping my family hadn't seen me.

On my way to RangeMan, I tried to come up with ways to confront Ranger or react if he confronted me. I was torn between wanting him to come to me and storming into his office, demanding an explanation.

It turned out I needn't have bothered. As soon as I pulled into the Haywood Street garage, I noticed the empty parking space where Ranger's Turbo was always parked. Ranger hadn't returned from his meeting yet. I stopped at his parking spot and stared at it as if it could tell me where Ranger was until I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. The heavy metal door opened and Junior walked into the garage. That snapped me out of my thoughts and I quickly parked, taking just long enough so that Junior was in his car and gone by the time I got out of my SUV.

I was still wearing my jeans and t-shirt when I rode up in the elevator, but I had a spare 'uniform' in my locker on the 5th floor.

Once changed, I walked towards the control room slowly, trying to catch any conversation that would stop when I entered the room, trying to read the atmosphere for anything unusual. I was dying to find out if the guys had been briefed, if Ranger had talked to them before he left. I didn't know what I thought he'd talk to them about or what he'd say, but the not knowing made me insecure and paranoid, I guess.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down in my cube. I powered up my computer and signed on. I had no voicemails and no sticky notes, no one had tried to get in touch with me. Not that I usually had any messages, but today I'd been hoping for a note from Ranger, something. The longer I didn't see him or hear from him, the more my mind was mulling over the last few minutes that morning and I was trying to dissect every moment to find out what did or didn't happen. I'd already gone from 'What did I do wrong?' to 'What the hell is going on?', so I guess I was making progress, but I was driving myself insane in the process.

I ran the search requests without thinking, added notes, printed out results, rinse and repeat. It was just past three, I had just finished one search and was reaching for the next request in my inbox, when all conversation in the control room ceased. I looked up, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ranger, but only saw Tank crossing the room and disappearing in Ranger's office.

The day before, Tank had asked me for advice on Lula. I wouldn't be able to talk to Tank like a girlfriend, but he may know something about Ranger's behavior. I'd expected Tank to return to his desk now that Ranger was back, but he'd walked straight into Ranger's office and closed the door.

I stood up slowly, waiting to see if he'd come out, maybe just getting his stuff. But the door remained closed. By now I knew I was blowing things out of proportion, but I couldn't help it. I'd had half a day to think about it and I hadn't thought about much else since I'd told Eddie about Harry. Okay, so Ranger's behavior had been more important to me all along, but I didn't have any distraction since I'd talked to Eddie. He'd made me promise to call him if I heard from Guzarella, so everything was going to be fine. No one had told me why Ranger had acted so weird and that it'd be okay.

And besides, I told myself as I made my way over to Ranger's office, Tank owed me a talk. I'd reassured him Lula would like the diamond, he'd have to reassure me Ranger was fine.

Shit! Lula…earring. I'd totally forgotten to ask Lula about her night with Tank, it had been their anniversary after all. I was a bad friend. I made a mental note to ask her about it first when we met for dinner, then I knocked on the door.

Tank's muffled voice carried out to me, but I didn't wait to hear what he said, I opened the door and slipped in. He raised an eyebrow and put down the file he had in his hands.

I smiled a hello and got right to it. "Do you know where Ranger is? I haven't seen him since this morning and…" Tank's expression made me stop. He looked…surprised, but that wasn't it. For a second, there was some emotion I couldn't name in his eyes, then his RangeMan patented blank face slid into place. "He didn't tell you?" He asked. I sat down on one of the leather chairs facing the desk. It was unusual for Tank to ask a rhetorical question like that, but more importantly, did anything good ever come after that question? It's what people asked when your husband had left you for the babysitter or your dog had died.

I shook my head slowly and replied with the obligatory "Tell me what?"

Tank ran his hand over his bald head, obviously trying to find the right words. He let out a breath. "He went to Boston this morning to set up a new account. Probably won't be back until the weekend."

I could tell Tank felt uncomfortable telling me this, but I felt much more uncomfortable because Tank was telling me and Ranger hadn't. It wasn't that he'd gone to Boston. He had left without telling me he'd be gone for days. Today was Wednesday. We'd had a night of mind-blowing sex and a morning shower from Heaven and he'd left like 'a thief in the night', as my mom would have put it.

I stared at Tank and realized I should say something. Trouble was I couldn't think of anything. I finally cleared my throat. "Did he…did he take the Turbo?"

Not what I'd been meaning to ask and clearly not what Tank had expected, he blinked twice. It was the RangeMan equivalent of a dropping jaw. He nodded slowly, as if he was waiting for my real reaction.

"Well then," I said and got up. I had the sudden urge to cry, tears were already stinging my eyes, and I was not breaking down in front of Tank. "Glad I asked. Thanks, Tank."

I'd never left the office that fast before, I practically ran out. In the control room, I bumped into Lester, but I just forged on, mumbling an apology. I didn't stop until the washroom's door whooshed closed behind me and I'd locked myself in a stall.

Except now that I was alone I could have cried, I didn't need to anymore. My sadness was pushed away, first by shock and then by anger. There might have been a meeting this morning, but Ranger must have known he was going to Boston and would be gone at least the whole day. Tank knew, after all. That meant that Ranger had chosen not to tell me. He might have had his reasons for it, but I didn't give a shit. By not telling me he'd treated me like a one-night-stand, like a stranger he didn't care about.

Now I was glad I hadn't called him, I was even proud of myself. Granted, I hadn't called him because I'd been afraid I'd come across as the clingy girlfriend, but what mattered was that I hadn't initiated contact.

I left the stall, splashed some cold water on my face and checked my reflection in the mirror. I wanted to look normal, unfazed. I was going to go back to my cube, log off and leave, calm and sane.

I took a deep breath and pushed the restroom's door open, determined. I hadn't planned on Lester waiting for me, leaning against the opposite wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He pushed himself off and blocked my way in two strides.

"You okay, Steph?" He asked, his hand on my forearm. After Joe died, I'd learned to hate that question, mostly because it usually got through my defenses, made me lose my weak version of the blank face I was wearing now.

"I'm fine," I said, forcing a smile. Lester scoffed. "Okay, once more with less feeling." He moved his hand to cup my elbow and steered me towards the elevators.

Lester was one of my favorite Merry Men. Whenever we met in the kitchen or the control room, he usually waggled his eyebrows and told me a reason why he'd be better for me than Ranger, and he never stopped coming up with new ones. He was smart enough not to mention them when Ranger was within earshot, but I knew it was all in good fun. Lester was a big flirt, but he was also a good guy. He was sexy and well built, but my feelings towards him were brotherly, not romantic. And I knew that since he had a hold of me now, he'd make me talk to him.

He pushed the call button for the elevator, still holding on to my elbow and when the door opened, he pulled me in with him.

"Where're we going?" I asked as he pushed the ground floor button. "Out," he said. "We need to talk."

I sighed. I knew it. I should have taken the time to laugh and tell him to watch where he was going when I ran into him. But at the time, I'd been trying to hold back the tears.

Lester didn't release my arm until he'd shut the passenger door of his Explorer with me inside. He revved the engine and shot out of the garage. I didn't actually mind, I'd been meaning to leave anyway. Lester wouldn't have been my choice of shoulder to cry on, but I knew he'd listen. He always put on a funny façade, but I knew he was a friend underneath.

Lester shot me a quick look before he took a right on Haywood towards Route 1. I knew it was useless to ask where he was going, I just hoped there'd be alcohol there, it felt like a drown-my-sorrows moment, and I had just the right amount of self-pity to do it. No, I thought, not self-pity. Anger and confusion was more like it.

Lester pulled into Shorty's parking lot fifteen minutes later and when I didn't say anything after he'd killed the engine he shot me another look, "What? Seemed like a Shorty's occasion to me?" He winked and I had to smile, a genuine smile this time. Lester got out and jogged around the front to open the door for me, as if he still thought I might bolt.

"So what's up?" He asked conversationally after we'd gotten our drinks from the bar and had sat down at a table. Lester'd just ordered a beer, I'd added a shot of Jack Daniels to my order. He'd raised an eyebrow at that but didn't say anything.

I shrugged. He'd taken me here, so I figured he was really concerned. I decided to start at the beginning.

"Ranger came home last night." He nodded. "And we…I…I happened to…shit, I saw him is what I mean to say." Lester nodded and raised his eyebrow again, a silent 'And…?'

I downed my shot and shuddered. The whisky burned down my throat and pooled in my stomach, but it didn't make me feel any better. I chased it with some beer. Much better. "Actually I couldn't sleep and decided to stay at his place, I didn't know he was home."

"And you were mad he didn't call you," Lester added.

"No…I was happy he was back. Okay, yeah, and a little upset he didn't call to tell me he was back, but it was fine."

"Then what?" Lester asked. At the look I gave him a wolf grin spread over his face. "Oh. Okay." He chuckled and I rolled my eyes, but then he grew serious. "That would hardly explain your mood now…" Any other day, he would have added a stinger here, something about how I'd never be upset after a night with him I figured.

I sighed and took a big gulp of my beer. No, it wouldn't. Last night had been perfect.

"My mood was great this morning. Until Ranger did a 180 and stormed out of the apartment. And just now," I gestured towards the door meaning to indicate the office, "Tank told me he left for Boston and won't be back for days."

"You didn't know?" Lester was incredulous. Oh great, it seemed everybody knew but me. I just shook my head and stared at my glass. The tears were threatening to come back and I really didn't want them now.

Lester blew out some air and ran a hand through his hair. "Holy shit." I looked up at him. He hadn't known. So it wasn't something Ranger'd shared, not that I thought he would have. But still, it was nice to know for sure.

I took another big gulp, still fighting back rears. "Yeah," I finally said. "And I can't figure out why. When I bumped into you, Tank had just told me where Ranger was and for how long."

"That explains it then. You were hurting my ego just storming off like that," he said and winked. Probably he was joking and I appreciated the effort. I was just about to ask what he made of the whole thing when Lester stiffened and looked past me.

Before I could turn and look, I felt a hand on my shoulder, its weight holding me in place.

TBC

A/N: Thank God he's back right? Wait…who DOES the hand belong to? Please let me know what you think, your reviews keep this story going.