A/N: Oops... We (Craftygirl and me, Princess Malika) lied... well, sort of. We thought that we'd only do one randomness fanfic on Naruto, but the first was so much fun, we decided to do a series! So, here's the second one-hope you readers will enjoy it as much as the first!

One cold evening, Gaara came out of the hot shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. His bare chest exposed for any prying eye to see…

Well, his chest wasn't that bare. He had a lot of chest hair on it. But that's because he hadn't shaved in a while.

Well…it turns out that Gaara's just a younger version of Asuma… Anyway, so then Gaara finally noticed his chest hair and decided to shave. He got a kunai out, and tried shaving his hairs. Unfortunately, that didn't turn out too well.

His aim missed by… well, a lot (well what did you expect? He relied on his automatic sand abilities that he sucked at all the rest of common ninja stuff). Instead of cutting the hairs off his chest…

He sliced a gaping hole from where he was attempting to shave to his stomach.

The ketchup red blood gushing out like a waterfall.

"Oh, look. I am dying." And then Gaara died in his own pool of blood.

The bloodied mess was so thick, when Gaara's lifeless body fell, the momentum thrust his body out of the room, down the stairs…

And onto Ino!

It turned out that Ino had a secret crush on Gaara all along (instead of the overrated Sasuke), and just wanted to catch him…you know…

So anyway, Ino totally freaked when she saw Gaara's dead body. And when the blood got on her, a brilliant flash of red attracted a wild bull to come running out of nowhere, head-butting her to the Forest of Death.

And as Ino had no time to get Gaara's body off of her, Gaara went with her. His body landed in a nearby river, the current sending his body to who knows where.

As for Ino… the collision made her get amnesia. And she was lost in the forest for many days—for some reason nobody caught on to her being gone.

Meanwhile, during her absence, Sand Siblings Temari and Kankuro immediately noticed the blood all over the bathroom floor…and the stairs.

Kankuro looked at Temari in disgust. "Gee, Temari. You gotta watch that period of yours. Sheesh."

Temari did a Death Glare on him. "Excuse me?" She then whipped out her giant fan and blew him through the roof. That oughta teach him to mess with me…

As for Ino…word of her disappearance finally reached the Nara clan, particularly Shikamaru.

"Where is Ino?" Shikamaru asked himself. "My life, my love? She is the very air I breathe, my reason for living. Each day I can't see her… my soul dies a little. So where are you my beloved?"

So now that Shikamaru's gone all Romeo all of a sudden, he decided to be brave and full of life (for once) by embarking of a journey to the Forest of Death.

But…since he was so caught up in rescuing Ino…he lost his brain and forgot to pack any food. Pretty soon, he died as well.

Wow. There goes some 'genius'. IQ of over two hundred? I think not.

Anyway, by this time, jungle girl Ino—still with amnesia—found Shikamaru's dead body…

Well, mutated was more like it. Already tigers were ripping Shikamaru's bony body up.

And Ino just joined them, ripping up and eating Shikamaru's body right along with them. (Hey, she's lost all human connections, remember?)

Back to Temari…

In a week's time, it finally sunk into Kankuro's head that the blood all over the inn was in fact not his older sister's period.

"But what is it?"

Temari took notice of the kunai knife in the now-hardened blood. She gasped, turning to Kankuro with a look of pure shock. "Kankuro! WERE YOU TRYING TO SUICIDE?!"

"I was not!" Kankuro instantly protested.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!"

"How can you tell with that hoodie you always wear on? And you were cutting yourself quite a bit that one time, anyway."

"That was because my goldfish died!" After mentioning this, Kankuro burst into tears.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Get over it already! Why didn't you make a puppet out of it like you do with your other pets?"

"Because she was special!" Kankuro sobbed.

"It was a goldfish!"

"Stop calling her an 'it'! She has a name!"

"Her name was Goldilocks, and she was my favorite!" Kankuro continued, but was only interrupted by Temari.

"Okay, okay. I get it. 'She' was special, alright?" she pressed impatiently, but then suddenly became serious again. "So…it was you who's made the inn so bloody awful?" She scoffed. "You could have at least known better than to let it drip everywhere! And with all that blood loss, I'd think you'd be dead already!"

Kankuro pouted. "Hey! Is that an insult?!"

"Do you even know what an 'insult' means?"

Before Kankuro could reply, Asuma burst into the room.

"Hey guys, what's—" Asuma began, but then immediately halted. His sharp nose had caught a whiff of the blood, and so his eyes were mesmerized, instantly drawn to the blood near the stairwell.

"Uh-oh. Blood plus Asuma equals a no-no…" Temari said to herself worriedly, already backing away from the blood and closer to the nearest exit.

Because everyone knew that when Asuma smells blood, he transforms into a… WEREWOLF!!!

"Aaaahhhroooooo!!" The sky turned dark, the full moon high in the sky. Asuma turned to face the Sand Siblings, his hairiness now having gone to the max that even his cigarette was concealed in thick, dark hair. Right now, only one thing was on his mind:

Kankuro and Temari blood.

The Sand Siblings stared at the sight in shock and dread.

Temari was the first to snap out of the terror and said to Kankuro, "You take the left and—"

CRASH!!! "What the—"

Kankuro had fled in fear so swiftly, he had no time to open the door.

Instead, he just went through the building, leaving a Kankuro-shaped outline.

Temari was aghast.

She was now all alone with a creature more terrifying and more powerful than the dreaded Nine-Tail Fox.

And of course, Temari didn't stand a chance. She tried using her Wing Scythe Jutsu on the new Asuma, but of course, that failed. So then Asuma just swung his werewolf claws at Temari's head, which flew off on contact.

Yet even after Temari's head left her body, she still was able to talk: "I have died. I have died. I have—" (Guess it runs in the family, huh?) But that was when Asuma walked over and squished her little head flat.

But even that didn't completely destroy Temari's spirit. Her body still moved on its own. And when it had learned—somehow—that its head was now flattened into paper, Temari's body ferociously stomped behind werewolf Asuma and ripped off a chunk of his thick hair!

Leaving a major bald area on his back!

Raging with fury, Asuma swallowed Temari's body whole.

Licking his lips, Asuma said to himself, "Now for that other boy who ran away, as no one escapes the mighty, the great, the magnificent, the handsome… Asuma!"

And while Asuma stealthy roamed Konoha, searching for Kankuro, Baki was bathing in the river that flowed from the Forest of Death. He would've taken a shower in his own home, but it was so far away, and since he didn't really wanted to intrude upon a clan to ask permission to shower in his or her tub, he decided to shower in the river.

And he didn't want anyone to know his two largest, most humiliating secrets, either…

That he sings—the Tillytubbies' theme song!

And has a yellow rubber ducky while he bathes!

"Tinkywinkie! Dippsie! Lala! Po!" he chorused.

Yet that's when he suddenly noticed he was a few yards away from the edge of a waterfall! "YYEEEPPP!!" Baki tried to dog paddle away, but he could only see out of one eye due to the pale tan half-mask he wore all the time. Who knew that'd come back to haunt him?

So as Baki desperately battled against the current, he knew that nothing he could do could save him, and so he threw his rubber ducky to the ground.

"YOU MUST LIVE!!!" Baki hollered sorrowfully as he watched his duck go bye-bye.

All of a sudden, an unlikely heroine appeared: Ino, Princess of Barbarians and Savages.

"Aargh! Need a hand there, mate?"

"Yes! YES! PLEASE!!"

"Okay, lad." Ino tossed him a rope, and Baki took hold of it, and began pulling himself towards land. "Oh, thank you! Thank you!"

Ino smiled wickedly. "I wouldn't go saying that if I were ye…"

"Huh?"

And then before Baki even knew what was going on, Ino got out a kunai and severed the rope. "Muhahahaha!"

"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" And that was the end of Baki.

But who cares about him anyways? He has no major role in this series, and so his death has no meaning, and shall soon be forgotten.

And so, as soon as Baki had perished (and Queen of the Jungle Ino made sure Baki didn't survive), Ino swung through the jungle with a Tarzan yell: "OOOOOOHOOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHOOOOOOOOO—Ooh!"

Till she effortlessly spotted a mangled mess of a motionless body wedged between two medium-sized boulders in the river. The body was found easily, as it had reddish hair. And in a forest of green, green, more green, even more green, and even some brown (thought I was going to say "green" now, did you?), red was a very noticeable color. And it was this uncommon color that caught the fierce Amazon Ino's eyes.

Ino squinted at the figure above the river. "Is that—?" She thought for a moment, and then shook her head vehemently. Nah! I've never seen him before in my life! Ino took a few steps closer, and noticed a gaping red hole in his body.

She lipped her lips. But he looks so delicious…delicious enough TO EAT!!!

But as soon as she approached him, she noticed his hand move! Ino froze instantly, following the path of his hand, which slowly fell ddddooooowwwwwnnn… to cover his Manly Area (well, of course that towel would fall off sooner or later!)

The once-fearless Ino froze, screamed, and ran far, FAR away—so far away that she ran right out of the Forest of Death and into Konoha.

WHAM!!! Ino—not watching where she was going—collided with Asuma the werewolf!

Of course, she didn't know he was one in the first place, as she wasn't completely paying attention… "Ow! What are you doing, standing in the middle of the road? Did you know that you could've—?"

Suddenly, Ino was quite aware that the person she was talking—ahem, lecturing—to was not even a person at all!

"Woah…" Ino began, examining his full bod hairiness. "How did you get so much hair? Did you forget to shave for a month or—?"

"I'm a werewolf!" Asuma growled, gritting his werewolf-sized chompers.

Not taking the statement seriously, Ino continued on her train of thought. "Did you know that you're naked? So I guess it's a good thing you're covered in all this hair. Otherwise, everyone might see your—"

Of course, Asuma got infuriated, so he lunged for Ino, but then Sai appeared and came to her rescue. "Need help?"

Ino eyed him suspiciously. "Do I…know you?"

"No, actually I come from the future two and a half years from now," Sai explained.

"Er…okay…but why are you here? Why are you helping me?" Ino asked.

Sai shrugged. "Dunno. Got bored, I guess." He smiled sheepishly.

Ino glared at him, but that was also when Asuma stuck. Since neither of them was paying attention, he crept up on Sai and swallowed him whole.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP!!!!!" Ino shrieked.

Then fainted.

Asuma roared a loud werewolf laughter. "How easy you make this for me…"

As his drool of hunger dripped all over Ino's body… she abruptly awoke!

"You killed that sexy guy… AND you slobbered all over me! Now… YOU MUST DIE!!!!!"

She then got out her kunai knife and cut off Asuma's head. But then Kurenai came and saw the bloody kunai in Ino's hand. "What the heck did you do?! Y-You MURDERER!! NOW I WILL HAUNT YOU UNTIL YOU DIE!!" She then formed a series of handsigns and disappeared.

"Ino!" Kankuro unexpectedly hollered out cheerfully. And—to Ino's surprise—he embraced—then kissed—her!

"…What was that for?"

"You saved my life! Will you be my girlfriend?"

"… … …Sure, why not? You seem decent enough."

"YIPEE!!!"

"Just take off that darn hoodie of yours first. Then I'll be all yours…"

Kankuro ripped his hoodie off immediately. "Now will you restore my clan?"

Ino didn't know what 'restoring my clan' meant, but she responded with a, "whatever that means, yes, I'll do it with you."

Grinning broadly, Kankuro lifted Ino bridal style to his Sand Village—that he now was Kazekage since he was the only Sand Sibling left.

Ino never got her memories back; and, tragically, nobody remembered Gaara.

The one who started it all.

And Kurenai? Well, she gave up haunting Ino and ended up marrying Hotake.

So how's that for an ending?