This is the sequel I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read 'Living on a Prayer' for it to make sense.

Sorry about the delay. I was on vacation last week with very limited online access. I hope you haven't given up on me! In case I forgot to thank you individually, I appreciated each and every review, thank you very much!

Special thanks to Stayce for helping me out while feeling crappy. I owe you Babe!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to JE, the title belongs to Bon Jovi

Keep the Faith

Chapter 5

I lay in the dark apartment for what seemed like an eternity. I went through the day over and over again, thoughts racing thought my mind. I even tried to focus on Harry and Guzzarella, thinking a real danger might take my mind off Ranger, but it didn't work. But it did remind me that I still had to check on Lester, I really hoped he was okay.

At first I was just mad at Ranger, but then I started blaming myself, at least partially, for trusting him so completely and making him such a big part of my life. I even tried to see it from Ranger's point of view for a minute, but the picture just wouldn't fine-tune.

'Okay,' I finally thought, 'need a plan here. Something beside self-pity and raging anger.'

I had the nagging feeling I was forgetting something important, like I'd left the oven on or something, and it took me the longest time to remember: Lula!

I'd made arrangements to meet her for dinner. It took me some time to remember the details, what with being kidnapped and broken up with and all.

Lula said she'd be done at the salon at… some time, and then she was going to go home to do…something. Did I mention I was fuzzy on the details?

I frowned, trying to remember the time we'd agreed on for dinner. The clock at bedside said it was 9 PM, so I knew I was going to be late, but I was trying to determine how late, like, was there a chance Lula would still be there? And where exactly had we said we'd meet, Pino's? Damned headache.

I snorted when I remembered why I'd asked her to get together. I'd wanted to ask her what she thought of Ranger's behavior. Well, I'd already found out what it meant, hadn't I?
I mentally slapped myself to clear my head. I realized I was way on my way to a pity party and I wanted to stop it while I still could.

I now had a plan, even if it was only to get in touch with Lula. Someone had deposited my shoes and my pocketbook in the living/dining area of the apartment, but when I checked my cell phone, it was still dead. I put on my shoes, did some damage control to my hair and face in the bathroom and left the apartment. When I got to the elevators I debated briefly if I wanted to go up to the control room to call Lula, but I decided I wasn't up to seeing any of the guys, or Ranger. Instead I would go home, call Lula, and then call the control room to get an update on Lester.

I ignored the cameras on my way down and hurried to my car in case someone had been instructed to keep me from leaving. Dr. Mahoney might have ordered bed rest or something, for all I knew. But other than the headache that just wouldn't go away, I felt fine. Physically, anyway. And I'd done enough resting, I decided.

I burned rubber out of the garage and drove home. Ranger'd said he called my parents, so they wouldn't worry if Bob stayed over.

Since most of my neighbors are seniors and it was already ten, all the good parking spaces were taken and I had to park next to the dumpster. Tonight, it didn't bother me though and since I'd been stalker-free for a while now, it wasn't dangerous either. Of course there was a chance Harry's men could be waiting to kidnap me, but I didn't think that was his style.

Okay, so I was hoping it wasn't his style as I hurried across the parking lot to the back door of my building.

My phone rang just as I unlocked my front door. I took a look at the caller ID and when I saw it was Ranger, I let the machine get it. Probably my car's GPS had reported I was home and he wanted to check if everything was okay. He did that. And on nights we couldn't spend together, it was a chance for me to at least talk to him. Well, not anymore. I had nothing to say to him at the moment.

"Babe," Ranger's voice came out of the answering machine's little speaker and my heart dropped painfully in my chest. "I know you're home. I know how long it takes you to get upstairs. Pick up." He waited a few moments and then he blew out some air in what could have been frustration or a sigh and hung up.

If that's how he defined taking a break, I wouldn't be able to endure it for long, that much was clear. He'd said nothing about my job would change, and I was sure he'd meant it. But I had no idea how I could make it through a day at the office when Ranger was a few feet away from me. Maybe I should take a vacation, I thought.

I dropped a few raisins into Rex's food dish and he immediately stopped running on his wheel to investigate.

"I had a shitty day," I told him. "No, worse, it was one of the worst fucking days I can remember." Rex blinked at me. He didn't like it when I cussed. "Men suck," I said by way of explanation. He stuffed the raisins into his cheeks and rushed into his soup can. He knew when to stay quiet.

I got a beer out of the fridge and dialed Lula. Probably the beer wouldn't go too well with the meds and the headache, but I didn't care.

"You better be dead or have wild monkey sex with Batman, I won't accept any other excuses," Lula answered. And I meant to answer all calm and composed, but all that came out of my mouth was a sob. And just when I'd been so proud I'd been keeping it together apart from the tears earlier. Damn it.

"What's wrong?" Lula asked immediately. No need trying to tell her I was fine and had just hit my toe or something, she knew. And I wanted to share. "Can you come over?" I asked her.

"This is just a wild guess, but am I bringing booze and ice cream?"

"Ben & Jerry's," I confirmed. "And lots of it."

"I'll be there in an hour," Lula said. "When I thought you'd dissed me I called a friend in Newark, lemme turn around at the next exit." And then the line went dead.

I took a couple deep breaths and called the control room. Hal answered. "Hey, Steph, how're you feeling?" He asked, identifying me by his caller ID.

"I'm alright, but how's Lester?" I wanted to know. Hal told me Lester had gotten shot, but the bullet had just grazed him and he'd only been in the hospital for an hour to get stitched up. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Are you gonna be out tomorrow, too?" Hal asked. "We miss you, you know. You leave with Lester and he gets you kidnapped and now we all have to suffer for his mistake." I could sense Hal smile over the phone. Leaving RangeMan would mean leaving Lester and Hal behind. I couldn't see that happen.

"Don't worry, I'll be back soon. I'm just waiting for the Advil to kick in." I said and we disconnected. I was glad to learn that what happened between Ranger and me hadn't made the rounds yet. The guys sometimes gossiped worse than any of Grandma Mazur's friends at the beauty parlor, and that's saying something. I'm sure they'd find out soon that Ranger and I weren't a couple anymore, but I wouldn't be the one to tell them. In fact, I didn't even want to think about it any more.

I took my beer with me into the living room and plopped down on the couch. I closed my eyes and thought about the day from start to finish. It was high up there on my list of worst days ever, no doubt. I'd gotten kidnapped, had a car accident and got dumped by my boyfriend. There wasn't much left that could go wrong, but I tried not to think along those lines because that was a sure jinx, everyone knows this.

My phone rang again just as I was taking a long pull of my beer. Thinking it may be Lula calling back, I got up and grabbed the handset.

"Why did you leave?" Ranger asked when I answered. I'd forgotten to check the caller ID. What to say? 'Because you broke up with me'? Too whiney. 'Because I hate you'? Not true. I loved him.

"Stephanie?" Not Babe, not Steph. I bit my lip to stifle a sob and swallowed hard.

"I didn't feel well and I wanted to sleep in my own bed." Omitting is not lying after all, and I did want to be at home.

"You were supposed to rest." I tried to define the emotion in his voice, but I found there was none. This was the voice that went with the blank face, I decided.

"I am resting," I said. I didn't want to talk to emotionless Ranger, it hurt too much.

"Babe, I wish you stayed here after what happened today," he said. 'Here' probably meaning RangeMan, not his apartment he was most likely calling from. I took another sip from my beer for courage. This is how it was going to be from now on, I told myself. And it was nothing new, he'd always been concerned about my safety, basically from the day I met him, God knew why.

"I got my gun and I'm vigilant. I'll be fine." Okay, so that was a fib. My neighbor Mrs. Bestler could have snuck up on me when I got home, and she's north of 80 and uses a walker to get around. I'd been completely unaware of my surroundings.

Silence on the other end. Ranger speechless, wonders never ceased.

"Look, I gotta go," I said just to get off the phone. I was trying really hard to stay calm and not break down sobbing asking Ranger 'Why?', and I thought I'd been doing a pretty good job so far. But just picturing Ranger on the other end made me want to cry, and I hated crying. Especially in front of Ranger.

"About earlier…" Ranger started but I cut him off, "Let's not talk about this now, okay? I'm beat and just want to go to bed. Good night." I managed to get the last bit out and hang up before my voice broke and I sobbed again.

Now he'd be upset because I'd hung up on him but at least I hadn't broken down with him on the phone. For some reason that was important to me.

But I didn't cry then, I just stared off into space. The beer was cold in my hand, Rex was running on his wheel and the kitchen clock was ticking. All my senses seemed to be working; yet I felt incredibly numb. I hated myself for feeling this way because it was too close to the way I felt after I'd lost Joe. I'd decided then I never wanted to feel like that way ever again.

I ordered myself to stop the self-pity and finished my beer in one long pull. So I'd been dumped. It hadn't been the first time, although I didn't remember it hurting so much, but still, I knew it was something I'd get over.

Ranger wanted to take a break? I'd give him a break, all right. I didn't know how, but I wanted to stop being predictable, I wanted…well, I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew I wanted it to be something no one expected.

I put my empty bottle into the trashcan and took a new one out of the fridge, then I went into my bedroom, undressed and stepped into the bathroom. I needed a long, hot shower, I decided, avoiding my reflection in the mirror. I really didn't want to see how horrible I looked.

By the time the hot water ran out, my headache had subsided to a dull hum and I felt somewhat relaxed. I took my time toweling off, then I lathered on moisturizer and wrapped myself in the fluffy robe Ranger had given me for my birthday. It reminded me of him, but it was also warm and comfortable, and I needed comfort.

I drank my beer while I did the bare minimum to my hair, just enough product so it wouldn't frizz, and put some make-up on. I wasn't planning on going out again, but I didn't want to scare Lula either. When I was finished, I took another sip from my beer and went back into the bedroom.

I let out a scream of surprise at the sight of Ranger sitting on my bed. Ranger almost-smiled, "It's nice to see you, too."

He had his long legs stretched out in front of him and his arms crossed over his chest, making the fabric of his black t-shirt struggle to stretch over his biceps.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and I may have sounded a little more hostile than I really was.

"You hung up on me," he said, as if that was reason enough for surprising the shit out of me. "I thought you'd be back in Boston by now," I said and walked over to my closet to find something to wear. I was determined to stay calm and show just as little emotion as Ranger. And I still didn't know why that was so important to me.

"Can we talk, Babe?" His voice was suddenly a lot warmer and I heard him get up but I didn't turn. Tears were already stinging my eyes and I fought them back when I heard him approach. Ranger touched my shoulder and gently turned me around. I stared at his chest because I didn't dare look up.

"You said you wanted to take a break," I said softly. "That it was the way it had to be…" I broke off. Ranger put his finger under my chin and lifted my head until our eyes met.

"I didn't say what I said to hurt you, Babe," he said and his eyes flicked to my mouth. "You know I love you. It's because I love you that I could never forgive myself if I hurt you."

I scoffed and pulled my head out of his grip. "If this is you not wanting to hurt me, I you're not doing a good job 'cause it hurts like hell." I wasn't in charge of what I was saying. Somehow, Snippy Steph had taken over. I took another step back because all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around Ranger and hold on to him. But I had a vision of all the old movies I'd watched, where the hero pries the damsel's hands away from his neck in order to leave, and she is left behind, collapsing in sobs. I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want him to leave and I didn't want to break down crying.

Ranger let his hand drop to his side. I couldn't even look at him; I was staring at my feet. In the shower, I'd come up with so many things to say to him, and all I could think of now was 'Don't leave'. And I wasn't doing a good job at holding back the tears either; I could feel the first one running down my cheek.

"Dr. Mahoney said you need to rest. Why did you leave?" I bit my lip to stifle a sob. So that's what he was concerned about. Of course. He'd broken up with me, but he was still concerned about my well being, I should have known. He hadn't' come over to apologize, to tell me he'd changed his mind, he just wanted to reprimand me for not taking it easy, like the doctor'd ordered.

I nodded slowly and turned, still not looking at him. I opened the closet door and stared at my clothes as if I was picking out an outfit.

"Babe," Ranger almost whispered behind me. And that's all it took. I took a deep breath to 'keep it together', but it was no use; it ended up as a huge sob. My knees buckled and I would have crumbled to the floor if Ranger hadn't caught me. I flung my arms around his neck after all and buried my face in his shoulder. His strong arms encircled me and instead of consoling me, they just made me realized what I wouldn't have anymore and I cried harder.

Ranger picked me up and pressed me against him, I was so close I could feel his heart beat. He carried me over to the bed and lay down with me.

I still had an iron grip on his neck and, just as I had feared, I could now feel his hands on mine, prying them loose.

"I have to go," he whispered, his mouth close to my ear. "Babe, I don't...," he blew out some air and kissed my hair, "I don't mean to…I'm sorry. I understand it if you hate me right now..."

This drew another sob from me, although I had meant to respond with a perfectly articulated reply.

Ranger ran his hand through my hair. "This is the way it has to be, because if I stay in Trenton, there is no way I could stay away from you, it kills me not to see you even for a day."

I finally pulled my head back to look at him. "That doesn't even make sense! If you don't want to leave, stay!" I argued. Ranger smiled and wiped the tears from my cheek with his thumb. "I know it doesn't make sense to you, I can't explain it."

I swallowed hard and decided to forget my pride. "Please don't leave." For the first time since I'd known him, I saw raw pain in Ranger's eyes and I thought I saw tears well up, too, but it was hard to tell through my own tears.

He tucked a curl behind my ear. "I don't want to. But I have to go. You'll understand, I promise. I meant to leave an hour ago, but I had to see you again." He pulled back and put my hands down on the sheets next to me. "Please, Babe, I have to go. It hurts to touch you when I can't trust myself around you."

I couldn't think of anything to say, short of repeating my plea. I wanted to tell him again that I trusted him, that he wouldn't hurt me, that it would all be okay. But I couldn't form the words.

Ranger pushed himself off the bed and I watched him leave. He turned in the doorway and looked back at me, and all I could do was reach out my hand and look at him. My vision blurred as new tears welled up, and then he was gone.

I buried my head in the pillow and cried harder than I'd ever cried since Joe's death. Probably I would have cried myself hoarse until I'd fallen asleep, but suddenly the mattress dipped and I looked up, hoping Ranger had returned.

It wasn't Ranger, it was Lula, and she threw her arms around me and pulled me close, holding me until my sobs were only sniffles and I could finally breathe again.

I pulled back and Lula held out a tissue for me. "You gonna tell me what happened here or do I have to send the snipers after Batman just for the hell of it?"

I laughed at that through my tears and blew my nose. "I'm a wreck," I told her.

"I can see that," Lula agreed. "And Ranger didn't look much better when I ran into him in the hall, but I knew it was no use asking him. So what the hell happened?"

"Get yourself a beer and wait for me in the living room, I'm just gonna throw on some clothes," I said and pushed myself off the bed. "I'm fine," I said at Lula's doubtful look. "I'm just gonna splash some water on my face and put on something more comfortable!"

"You got five minutes," Lula announced and left my bedroom. In the bathroom, I washed my face and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. So much for makeup to avoid scaring Lula.

I dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt and joined Lula in the living room. She had opened me a beer and put it on the coffee table along with three tubs of ice cream.

I blew my nose one last time and sat down on the couch next to her. Lula handed me the tub of Phish Food and a spoon. "You wanna talk about it?"

I sighed and dug into the ice cream. "Give me a minute," I said. I knew I didn't have to add 'for the ice cream to kick in', Lula knew. She nodded and picked up her Cherry Garcia.

"What did Ranger say when you met him downstairs?" I asked when half the tub was gone and I exchanged it with Lula's. She shrugged. "Didn't say much. Handed me your key and said 'Take care of her', then he left. It was the look on his face that got to me. Never seen anything like it on Batman's face." She licked her spoon clean slowly. "Then I come up here and you're a crying mess. Don't need to be a genius to figure out something's up."

When I didn't respond, Lula elbowed me gently. "So, what's up?"

"I've had the day from hell," I started and took a long pull from my beer. "I'm listening," Lula said. So I started from the beginning. Hard to believe the day was not even over yet. I told Lula about finding Ranger in his apartment the night before.

"And he didn't call to tell you he was back?" She asked. "Nope," I said and continued, describing the scene in Ranger's living room when I first saw him as best I could. I reminded myself I had to leave out details Ranger mentioned later, I wanted Lula to form her own opinion.

"Hold on. You sprayed Ranger?? Square in the face?"

"Yes, and he pushed me into the dining table."

"Yeah, but you gassed him?? Holy shit, White Girl, you're lucky you're alive!"

"Let me finish. We cleared up the misunderstanding pretty fast and were able to celebrate his homecoming properly." I smiled at the memory of first the shower, then the bed, and then the shower again. Lula fanned herself and I nodded.

"So anyway, I thought all was well after that kind of welcome, you know?" Lula nodded again and I told her about the weird conversation that followed over breakfast. Lula frowned, "What up with that?"

"That's what I was wondering, so I called you," I said exasperated. "But it gets better, let me finish." We both dug into the ice cream and I told Lula the rest. She scraped the last of the Phish Food out of the container when I was done.

"Well?" I asked, "What do you think?"
"About the fact that you didn't tell me you had a deal with a mob boss or about Ranger breaking up with you?"

"I was sort of hoping you wouldn't hold the first part against me and help me with the second," I replied and finished my beer.

"So let me get this straight," Lula began. "You gassed Ranger and he pushed you away. Then you have wild monkey sex all night and he breaks up with you in the morning?"
"Technically he didn't break up with me until earlier tonight, but yeah, he was odd from the moment he saw the upended chair and the dining table."

"Hunh," Lula said. Pretty much my thoughts. "So it doesn't make sense to you either?"

"I'm used to them not making sense. This is just whacked," Lula said and licked her spoon clean. "He broke up with you and hurt you like hell because he doesn't want to hurt you?"

"That's what I said," I confirmed.

It felt good to share, and Lula was a good listener. I'd really needed a second opinion; I was slowly driving myself crazy with self-doubts. "So you don't think it's something I did?" I asked, just to be sure.

Lula raised her eyebrows, "Unless you're not telling me something, you didn't do anything wrong."

"So what should I do?" I asked and got up to get us new beers. I screwed them open and put Lula's next to her half-empty one on the coffee table.

"He going back to Boston?" Lula asked. I nodded, "At least that's what he said." Lula picked up the last tub of ice bream and swirled her spoon in it, thinking.

"You sure about this plan to do something unexpected?" She finally asked. I shrugged, "It's the only thing I can think of, although I haven't come up with anything surprising yet."

"Ranger suggested a break," she said. "You should give him a break." I frowned at her and she raised her hand. "Hear me out. What do couples usually do when they're taking a break?"

"They get drunk and eat ice cream?" I tried. Lula shook her head, "They date other people!"

My jaw dropped. "That's your suggestion? I should just forget about Ranger and date someone else?"

"Not just anyone," Lula said and shifted in her seat. "Someone Ranger knows." A light bulb went on over my head. "You're saying I should make him jealous."

Lula jumped up. "Exactly. But not just with some Merry Men. Think about this! Who does Ranger trust more than any of the guys?"

Now I wasn't sure I knew where she was going. "Tank?" I suggested. Lula nodded, "Tank."

"Um…isn't he sort of, you know, involved?" I put as much sarcasm as I could into my question and raised my eyebrows at Lula. She grinned. "That's the beauty of it, sister! Cause I knew what you were gonna say next, you didn't want to make Batman jealous and use a Merry Man in the process. I'm volunteering my man!"

I looked from Lula to her beer and back at her again. "Are you drunk?" Lula sighed impatiently and sat back down.

"Don't you get it? Tank will be in on it! I pretend to break up with him and he'll need a shoulder to cry on, just like you. It's like you'll share your misery."

I stared at Lula as understanding dawned on me. "You know, it may be the beer talking, but it may just work!" Lula's grin got wider. "Of course it will work, it's my idea!!"

We spent the next hour emptying our beers, finishing the ice cream and hashing out our plan. Lula was sure she could convince Tank once she told him how stupid Ranger had acted. In fact, she said, she'd take a cab home and ask him to meet her there so we could get started the next morning.

By the time I closed the front door after Lula, I had my doubts again. I didn't think Tank would agree to do it. After all, he and Ranger were best friends. Probably he'd see Ranger's point of view rather than mine. And even if Tank played along, I doubted Ranger would fall for it. He wasn't the jealous kind.

I appreciated the thought, I'd known I could count on Lula, but I didn't think the plan would work. But at least the plotting had lifted my mood.

It was well past midnight, so I cleaned up the empty beer bottles and Ben & Jerry's containers, said good night to Rex and went to wash my face and go to bed.

The phone rang and stopped me mid-track. Who would call at this hour? If it was Ranger, I didn't want to talk to him, I decided as I went back to pick up.

It wasn't Ranger. Caller ID said it was an unknown number, so I let the machine get it. As soon as the caller spoke, I knew who it was.

"Stephanie," Harry the Hammer said, "I understand there was some miscommunication between you and my associate today." Always the polite Mafioso, I thought. My stomach cramped into a knot. "Probably just a mistake. He will contact you to make new arrangements. I suggest you listen to him." The machine beeped to signal the caller had hung up and I realized I was shaking. Shit.

If I was lucky, Guzzarella would call to arrange another meeting. If I wasn't so lucky, he'd just show up and drag me into his car when he got me alone. I chewed my lip, trying to decide what to do. I wanted to call Ranger for help, but my pride wouldn't let me. He hadn't even let me explain why I'd been with Guzzarella earlier; clearly he had other things on his mind.

I called Eddie Gazarra since I couldn't think of anything else to do. "'Lo?" Eddie answered after the sixth ring and I suddenly remembered what time it was.

"Eddie, it's me, Stephanie. I'm sorry to be calling so late…" I heard some rustling as I envisioned Eddie getting out of bed.

"Are you okay?" He wanted to know. "I'm fine," I said. "But I just got a call from Harry the Hammer…"

"Shit!" Eddie said. "What did he want?" I told him about the 'meeting' earlier and how it had ended.

"I'm not gonna yell at you for not letting me know, even though I told you to call me," Eddie said. "I'm calling you now," I said.

"And that's why I'm not gonna yell. You can't get out of this, Steph, Harry is a man of honor, in a matter of speaking. A promise is a promise to him."

"If you're trying to make me feel better, it's not working."

"I'm just telling you like it is. But it doesn't mean you have to do this alone. Let me come with you to the meeting," Eddie suggested. "You think I should go?" I asked?

"Do you love your family?" Eddie replied. That's what I'd been afraid of. "You think he'd…"

"No," Eddie cut me off. "But he could still cause you all kinds of trouble. Just do this. Call me as soon as you hear from them. I'm working the early shift, so I'll be off by 3. Arrange for a meeting after that."

After Eddie assured me again that he didn't think I was in immediate danger I promised him I'd really call this time and hung up.

Why was it that every time it looked like I was making headway with one of my problems, another one reared its ugly head? I'd just convinced myself that Lula's plan might actually work with Ranger, and now I was probably going to lie awake all night thinking about what to do when Guzzarella called.

I finally swallowed my pride and called Ranger's cell phone. He'd know what to do, he always did. But when his voicemail picked up, I lost my beer-induced courage and disconnected. I wasn't alone, I reasoned, I had Eddie to help me. I could do this. If only I could convince myself of that.

TBC

A/N: So what do you think of Lula's plan? Could it work? Should Steph try?? I'd appreciate if you shared your opinion with me.

HAPPY FOURTH!!