Title: Bad Romance
Author:zealot1138
Pairing: Renji x Ichigo
Rating: M (for language, situations, yaoi – angst, romance, sex, fluff)

Summary: AU. Ichigo is so NOT gay, so when he goes to the exclusive bordello Club Sakura, will a certain redhead named Renji make him think twice?

Disclaimer for the entire story: I do NOT own any of these characters from BLEACH which belongs to Tite Kubo et al. Thank you.

DISCLAIMER: All characters depicted in sexual situations in this post/fanfiction/fanart (including material in the comments) are fictional and are intended to be and considered to be by the author of said material of the legal age of consent in the United States state of California, regardless of what age these characters may be in the material they are derived from.

My apologies for not reading this thoroughly for typos, grammatical errors, etc., but as usual, I am eager to post and tend to find the mistakes easier with a day or two having passed since writing it.

Thanks for reading!

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Chapter 15

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For once, Ichigo was grateful for his part-time job. Going to work was rarely something he looked forward to, but having something to occupy his mind was just want he needed today. He was tired of waiting to hear from Renji by now. Of course, now that he was home, his mind was already back on the redhead and he was wondering why he still hadn't heard from him yet.

If what Renji said held true, Ichigo should have heard from him last night. However, the weekend had officially been over a full half-day and he had not gotten so much as a text. Ichigo fought internally with warring emotions of hurt, anger, fear and concern.

He knew what he'd shared with the redhead was something more than just sex. Ichigo knew in his mind that Renji could be messing with him about it being meaningful – after all, isn't that what he did for a living? And yet, Ichigo knew emotionally that his connection to Renji was deeper – and that it meant something to the redhead as well. So, why was he still waiting to hear from him?

Ichigo gripped his cell phone firmly in his hand as he tried to decide if he should reach out to the redhead directly. But he stopped himself before looking up Renji's number; he didn't want to come across as needy or immature. But he had given himself over not only physically but emotionally, so he was feeling vulnerable. However, Ichigo was not going to let himself been seen as weak.

Ichigo resolved to not think about it any longer and decided to change into running clothes. As he started to rummage through his drawers for his shorts, he felt the lingering pain in his lower back – another reminder of the redhead he hadn't been able to shake off just yet. However, he decided he had to get out of his place and felt a walk would be better than waiting for the phone to ring. He continued to change and put on his running shoes.

Before closing the front door behind him, Ichigo made sure he had his keys and cell phone. As he started his leisurely walk, he scrolled through his existing text messages. He recalled he hadn't replied to an earlier message from Chad because he hadn't seriously considered the invitation to see the new action flick that just opened. Ichigo didn't want to admit it, but he had wanted to keep his time open in order to see Renji when he called.

But Ichigo was getting tired of waiting around and thought maybe a movie would be just the kind of distraction he needed. He wondered if it wasn't too late to call Chad about the flick after all. In looking up his friend's number, it dawned on the orange-haired lad that he hadn't talked to Rukia in several days. He grimaced in thinking that now would be the perfect time to get her advice since the topic of romance was sure to bring out her inner sparkly-eyed romanticism. But then, Ichigo realized he may never be able to tell her. While he trusted Rukia, considering Renji was an employee of her brother's, he knew she couldn't share any of that with her yet. He didn't want to jeopardize Renji's situation in any way.

Wavering on the idea of a movie, he began to pocket his cell phone when it started to ring. He looked at the screen and saw a phone number that seemed vaguely familiar but wasn't recorded by him in his contacts.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ichi."

"Renji! I didn't think it was you. What number are you calling from?"

"Yeah, I'm using Ikkaku's phone… I can't talk long but, I'd like to see you. Mind if I come over tomorrow morning. I can be at your place by 11am. Would that be alright?"

Ichigo smiled as he replied, "Sure, that'll be cool." Then the scowl returned to his features before he continued. "Is everything ok? You sound…" Ichigo couldn't pinpoint it, but he did think Renji wasn't in his usual good humor.

"I'm good, Ichi. I just need to see you and tomorrow is the soonest I can get away. I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow."

"OK. Bye Ren-" Ichigo heard the line drop on the other end. He pulled the cell away from his ear and looked at the screen in surprise. I hope everything's ok?

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Renji handed the cell phone back to Ikkaku. "Thanks for that." The redhead looked back and for the between the security guard and Yumichika feeling a little sheepish about his paranoia. "I know I shouldn't be so paranoid but-"

Yumichika shook his head before saying, "I think you have every right to be concerned, Renji. You haven't told anyone about Ichigo besides us, correct?" Renji nodded in confirmation. "Then there is no harm in taking precautions."

Ikkaku grimaced before adding, "Yeah, I don't get how he knew so much about ya and Ichigo. Ya guys just started seeing each other, too."

Renji gave a pained smile before replying, "If there's one thing I learned, these walls seem to know everything. Guess it was only a matter of time before things got out. I don't know." He threw his head back before releasing a heavy sigh. "He always seems to know… anything."

Yumichika placed his hand on one tattooed arm to give a squeeze of reassurance. "What are you going to do, Renji?"

Renji turned sad eyes at his friend before shaking his head. "I don't know, Yumi. I know what I want to do… but I know what I should do too. Only, I know I'm not going to like it."

Yumi gave his friend a sympathetic smile. "You can only do what's best for you. But if there's one thing I have learned, you can't go wrong if you follow your heart."

Renji looked on as his two friends exchanged a heartfelt glance amongst each other. It made his heart ache a little because it was the kind of closeness he'd never had and something he thought he could maybe have now, but he wasn't so sure anymore.

"Thanks you two. I'll see you later." Renji gave them a small wave as he walked back towards his suite.

Once Renji entered the darkened client's quarter of his suite, he closed the door and leaned against it to take a deep breath. He wasn't one to usually indulge himself in languishing around and doing nothing, but with Aizen having only left that morning, Renji felt like enjoying the quiet for a little while. He crossed over to lay face down on the cool black silk sheets. He buried his head in the pillow before realizing he had automatically come to rest on the bed in this room, and not his private suite. He'd spend the entire weekend Aizen in this dark chamber and had gotten a little too used to coming here instead.

Renji replayed the moments of the weekend in his mind. Aizen spent the day attending to business, whether he used Renji's suite or an office elsewhere in the House and then spent the evening with Renji and his associates. As always, the redhead enjoyed picking up on all the business details. Even if only listening to one-sided phone conversations or when paying attention to Aizen's conversations with Gin and Kaname over dinner. And then the sex with Aizen. Renji closed his eyes as he recalled each touch and caress he felt and also gave. There was no doubt that the sex was good. It had always been since he got used to it, and like before, it was still exciting. And yet, that was it; it was just sex. No matter how many times they had done it or how often Aizen would smother him with kisses, it was never a warming feeling. It elicited a physical desire, but once it was done and the man was gone, it didn't matter.

And yet, as Renji's mind thought farther back at seeing the orange hair and brown eyes, and he recalled the feeling he got at just hearing Ichigo's voice on the phone, the redhead knew things had certainly changed for him. But was it necessarily for the better? That is what Renji had to figure out and determine before he saw Ichigo the next morning.

After the odd insinuations from Aizen about Ichigo, all of which Renji wasn't sure how the older business man had figured out, Renji wouldn't have dared arrange to see his young lover. However, with Aizen off to Germany for a couple of weeks, he figured he could see Ichigo if only for a day. He felt he owed it to Ichigo at the least to be honest with him and to say what he felt, face-to-face. Question is, what do I want?

Ichigo saw the grey Audi drive up, so he moved to open the door for Renji. He didn't mean to seem so eager, but the abruptness the day before had Ichigo on edge and whatever news might be coming, he wanted to know sooner than later.

He felt his chest tighten as he watched Renji approach; even in an outfit as simple as dark jeans, a white button-down shirt, and a black newsboy cap, the redhead looked so polished and amazing. Ichigo looked down at his own outfit of navy cargo pants and a printed t-shirt and it reminded him a bit more how his life and the one Renji lived in were worlds apart.

"Hi, Ren." Ichigo wanted to greet the redhead with a kiss but he held back, sensing a vibe that made him uncertain. He waited a beat to see what Renji would do first.

"Hey." Renji gave him a smile as he walked past to enter the small apartment; but no kiss.

Ichigo froze for a second then closed the door before turning around to face the redhead. He figured if this was going to go badly, he'd rather know sooner than later. "Are you going to tell me what's on your mind? Or are we going to drag this out by pretending nothing's wrong?" Ichigo surprised himself by how well he kept his voice under control as he spoke the words; eyes never wavering as he stared at the burgundy ones before him.

It was only then he noticed that Renji looked very tired. The redhead's eyes were a bit bloodshot, and there was the hint of dark circles underneath. However, Ichigo said nothing else and waited for the other man to speak.

Renji stared back for a while without changing his expression. After a moment, he finally spoke up. "I had a lot to think about this weekend, Ichigo."

Ichigo? The teen eyed the redhead and asked, "So, was it all this 'thinking' that kept you from calling me yesterday?"

Renji's expression didn't change as he replied, "Yes and no. I hadn't anticipated working all weekend. He-" Renji paused. "He doesn't usually stay over, and rarely more than a night. I didn't have any free time to call you sooner." Renji finally moved over to sit on the sofa in the small living room before continuing, "And the 'he' would be the person whose call you rejected for me that night. So, he came here to… check in on me."

Ichigo, whose open mouth had been ready to spout a few more words of anger, shut it immediately upon hearing these details. He understood Renji's lifestyle involved other "clients" but having it pinpointed to one figure, and one that seemed to be of great importance to Renji, made Ichigo feel an emptiness in his gut; a dark hole that seemed to be growing.

The younger man looked at Renji with hard eyes before asking, "Who is he to you, exactly?"

Renji took the cap off his head and ran his finger through his hair while letting out a deep breath. "You could say he's the man who made me what I am today."

Ichigo's eyes grew wide as the realization settled in. "You mean, Kuchiki Byakuya? Rukia's brother!"

Suddenly Renji was taken a bit out of his thoughts. "Huh? Oh! Yeah, I mean, technically, it started with him but… no, it's someone else. Byakuya-san might have hired me but, my first client – he's the one who's been my biggest patron. He has sort of managed the direction for my education and a lot of the stuff I own is from this man… he was also my first too."

Renji didn't look up because he didn't want to see what emotions might be readable on the younger man's face before he could finish what he wanted to say. "Ichigo, I'm here because I wanted to make a decision about my life – what I do – and how I feel about you and how it affects us. I need to tell you this."

Renji looked up to look at Ichigo "I'm not ready to quit this life because it's the only one I have really ever known-"

Ichigo interrupted, "So, what? Is this goodbye?"

"Maybe," replied the redhead.

Brown eyes went wide in surprise. Ichigo was shocked by Renji's bluntness. "What?!" His eyes narrowed in anger – anger he used to hide the growing pain of heartache that was starting to build up in his chest.

Renji continued softly, "My Taichou, for lack of a better name I can call him in front of you, doesn't want me to see you. He called you my 'distraction.'"

Ichigo looked away from the redhead's gaze. With a level of harshness he didn't know he could spew, Ichigo asked, "And you couldn't have said this on the phone yesterday? Instead, you wait a whole other night and insist on telling me in-person? Why?! Did you want to see how I'd feel when you dumped me?!" Ichigo slumped against the wall next to the windowsill. He kept his eyes askance and looking towards the floor. He was feeling overwhelmed and wasn't sure what to say next.

Moving very slowly, Renji approached Ichigo cautiously. "I've been pretty good about doing what I was told to do all my life. I always trusted those around me because they were older and I felt they knew better. Hell, I even got into this life almost as if it was 'cause someone told me to just do it. But for once, I want to listen to myself – to do what my heart tells me."

Burgundy eyes softened and filled with emotions before saying, "I want you, Ichi. The thing is… I don't deserve this – I don't deserve you. Not when I can't tell you that I'm ready to give up this life. Part of me, for your sake, hopes you'll tell me to leave right now."

The redhead paused to take a breath before continuing. "But when I ask myself what I really want? It's that you'll give me some time to want to give up this life and that you'll bear with me in the meantime while I deal with my obligations… to the Club and my Taichou and my other clients."

Renji looked long and hard at Ichigo before saying, "Tell me to get the fuck out of your life, Ichi. Tell me that, and I'm gone right now. I'm no good for you."

"You idiot. How many times have I told you to stop treating me like a kid?!" Ichigo finally looked at Renji, allowing him to see the relief in the teen's face. "I'll admit, I want you to quit right now. But, I also got involved knowing what you do and I'm not here to force you to change, Ren." Ichigo moved closer to stand in front of the taller man. "I'm just glad you're here."

Renji's eyes softened as he looked at his lover. He cupped Ichigo's face to move in for a kiss. Lips met tenderly for a long bittersweet kiss. Renji was thrilled to hear Ichigo still wanted him, but he felt terribly guilty too. He pulled back to look into the brown eyes. "I'm sorry I'm being so selfish, Ichi. But, you've made me incredibly happy today."

Ichigo put each of his hands over the redhead's own large ones which were still on the sides of his face. "I told you to stop worrying about me. I can make up my own mind, you know." Ichigo tilted his head to move up for another kiss which the redhead was more than eager to supply. "So, what now?" He smiled widely as he looked up into burgundy eyes. "Do you have time to hang out or something?"

Renji kept his face close to Ichigo's, not wanting to part with him. "Well, he's out of the country for a couple of weeks, so I decided to put in for some vacation time myself."

"So… you're off work for…?" Ichigo left the question open because he didn't want to hope for too much.

"For two whole weeks. I set it up last night after I decided to talk to you about all this. I figured if you dumped me, I would probably need the time off to… clear my head to get over losing you."

Renji was happy to see the pleased look on Ichigo's face. The redhead continued on, "I thought I'd check into the Four Seasons since it's nearby. Not too annoying to come see me there, eh?"

"Why do you need a hotel? You can stay with me." Ichigo's eyes softened and his expression was full of sincerity in offering up his place to Renji.

The redhead looked at Ichigo in surprise. "Really? Don't you think it'll feel like I'm top of you all the time in this small space?"

Ichigo smiled slyly, "That's kind of the point."

Renji had to match that look and reply with his best wolfish grin on his face. "Not bad, Ichi. Not bad at all." The tall redhead wrapped his arms around the shorter man's shoulders. Ichigo, in turn, wrapped his arms around the toned muscular waist, digging his hands into the gap between Renji's lower back and the waist of his jeans.

Brown eyes locked gazes with burgundy ones before both pairs closed as lips moved to press into one another for a long deep kiss. Each forgot all their previous worries and focused on this moment of completely happiness at merely being with one another.

TBC

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Gack! I'm sorry if you hated this chapter. I wasn't very happy with it but it had to be done and I lost track of my initial storyline for this scenario, but the rest came together so I hope it's still true to itself.

I'll do my best to have another chapter up before Sunday night at the latest.

Thanks so much for sticking with me on this. XD

Heart you all so much! ~z.