A/N: To all who've waited sooooooo long for this, we are soooooo sorry :(:(:(
But guess what? we've finally updated! So R&R please.
Sasuke's left hand flashed with chidori, his once-onyx eyes burning with Sharingan. "I'm gonna kill you, Naruto!"
"Not if I kill you first!" Rasengan in hand, he charged at Sasuke, in which he (Sasuke), too, did the same (to Naruto).
And each had a battle cry.
Naruto's: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARUUGH!!!"
Sasuke's: "RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
Although to the bystander, it sounded like…
Naruto: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
Sasuke: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!"
WHAM!!!
Someone got hit!
But it wasn't Naruto!
Or Sasuke!
It was…
Sakura!
And unlike the last time, neither of them hesitated.
As Sakura's body disintegrated on contact!
Naruto gasped, reeling in from the shock. "What just happened?!"
Sasuke scoffed. "You make it sound like something awful. Quit the act, Naruto. I know you're also glad that no-talent annoyance is dead."
Naruto shook his head. "No, it's not that. I don't care if she died or not. It's just that I was surprised she just popped out of nowhere."
"Oh. Well…" Sasuke created another chidori. "NOW YOU MUST DIE!!"
Naruto—stunned that Sasuke got back to the match so rapidly—didn't have time to dodge.
And so the chidori went through his body.
Sasuke smirked as the blood flowed from Naruto's body to his arm. "Heh. How'd ya like that? You're bleeding."
"O-oh yeah? S-so a-are you," Naruto feebly smiled faintly—yet victoriously—before he collapsed.
Sasuke frowned. "What are you—?" Suddenly, he looked down and saw his own blood flowing.
From a rasengan hole in his stomach. Sasuke's eyes widened. "H-how did that—?"
He didn't finish.
As he died, too.
But don't get the wrong idea. Just because all three of the Genin were dead doesn't mean this story ends. Not by a long shot. For as soon as they took each others' lives, Kakashi—who was too busy laughing his head off reading Make-Out Paradise—just so happened to trip on the two dead bodies.
Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! CRUNCH! The impact of his body falling on those of his students caused all of Sasuke's and Naruto's bones to crack. Not that that mattered, though…with them dead and all.
"Oops. My bad." Kakashi smiled nervously, expecting his two students to complain about how clumsy he was.
But there was no reply.
Kakashi then stared at the eerie white eyes of the two Genin. "Sasuke? …Naruto? Are you…?" A ghastly realization suddenly sunk in. "…D-Did I…?"
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I must have killed them!"
"Sakura! Sakura!" he desperately hollered. "Please forgive me! But I have killed our teammates!"
No response.
And this worried Kakashi. No oh. She's not showing up, which means that she doesn't forgive me!
As Kakashi nervously bit his nails in apprehension (through the mask), he tried to figure out what to do next. Maybe I should bury the bodies. And then make up an excuse to why they're not here right now. Yeah, that's what I should—
"Hey Kakashi. What's shaking?"
OHHH NOO!!!!!
Hastily, Kakashi sat on his dead students.
"Hiya, and may I ask what you're doing to your students there?" Guy curiously asked.
"Ohh nothing, really. Just a little training exercise I'm doing." Will he actually believe me?
Guy frowned.
Kakashi panicked. Oh no, he doesn't believe me!
"Aren't you being kinda harsh? I mean, they're bleeding all over the place."
"All part of the training."
Guy raised an eyebrow. "Training, huh? Let's just see about that!" I don't know what you're up to, Kakashi. But I'll figure you out one way or another.
He walked over to Kakashi. "You call this training?"
Kakashi started to panic. Darn it. He's getting too close. What am I going to do? "Hey, I wouldn't come any closer, Guy."
"Naruto? Sasuke? Can you hear me?" Guy called. That's funny; they're not moving or talking. He then glanced up at his rival. "Oh? And why shouldn't I? You aren't hiding anything, are you?"
"No, 'course not…" Kakashi insisted, although by now, millions of sweat drops poured down his face. "It's just that…" Kakashi hesitated, trying to come up with something plausible. "T-They're dangerously sick! They've been coughing up blood since training started!" Kakashi smiled to himself, glad at how he came up with such a clever idea. Now he'll have to believe me! "I swear, it's the Plague! Run for your life, Guy! It's not safe here!"
But unfortunately for Kakashi, Guy didn't buy it. "And if it was the Plague, what would you be doing sitting on top of your students?" he countered. A gasp suddenly escaped his throat. "I don't believe it! Did you seriously KILL them?!"
"N-No! I didn't—I mean, I couldn't! I couldn't have killed them!" Kakashi reasoned, though at the same time, he was trying to convince himself of that.
"Don't lie to me, Kakashi!" Guy demanded. "Now you better move it and let me have a look at your students! Or else I'll—"
"Or else you'll what…?" Kakashi said in a low voice, his eyes downcast so that Guy couldn't see his face.
"Huh?"
"GGGGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
As Guy, white-eyed and staring into space, crumpled onto the ground, Kakashi sighed. I didn't want to kill you, didn't want to use the Mangekyo on you…
But you'd given me no—
"Guy-sensei, Guy-sensei!"
Kakashi groaned inwardly. Why is this my unlucky day?
Rock Lee supersonically dashed up to Guy as soon as he'd heard his sensei cry out. "Guy—" he paused when he saw his sensei facedown on the ground.
"…Guy-sensei, this is no time to be napping. You promised me you would give me the twenty extra hours of training!"
Kakashi stared at Lee in surprise. Twenty hours?! How long does this kid—no matter; he doesn't even know what really happened to his sensei. He doesn't even know I'm here! Better make a run for it while I can.
And so he hurriedly vanished.
And Lee still didn't realize that Kakashi was there. "Guy-sensei… WAKE UP," Lee firmly stated before doing a "Leaf Hurricane!" on his sensei.
Still no reply.
Or any movement. Umm… this is strange. Usually, my kick is strong enough to wake Guy-sensei out of any nap.
This calls for drastic action. "Guy-sensei… Kakashi is the greatest, and so I am going to train under him now."
Guy still didn't shoot up from his nap! …Maybe he does not think I am serious. "I am serious Guy-sensei. If you do not wake up, I am going to worship Kakashi morning, noon, and night.
The same silence. That is it. Now it is time to really do something. Taking out a kunai, Lee raised it to the side of his head and announced, "I am going to shave—no, I am going to hack off both my eyebrows."
"DON'T DO IT LEE!!!!!" Guy bellowed, shooting up from the trance-like state that Kakashi had put him under.
"Guy-sensei, you are awake!"
"I'm… awake?"
"Yeah. You were napping the entire time—and I was really getting worried. We are so behind schedule now. We must make it forty hours of training. Nonstop."
"Yes. You're right Lee, we've got to make up for it."
Before they'd begun though, Guy asked himself, Why did I fall asleep?
It was then that Lee noticed Naruto's and Sasuke's bloody, immobile bodies. "Hey, what is up with Naruto and Sasuke?" He ran up to them. "Naruto, Sasuke…what are you guys doing? Wake up!" He kicked them gently, but too bad "gently" in Lee terms meant the opposite.
It turns out Lee kicked both their heads off to America.
Might Guy widened his eyes in shock. "Lee! Y-You…! YOU KILLED THEM!!"
"But they were already dead, Guy-sensei! I did not do anything wrong! I-It must have been…it must have been…" Lee glanced around frantically, looking for someone to blame. "It must have been YOU, Guy-sensei! You are the murderer!"
Guy was horrified. "But I—I didn't kill them! How could I? You saw me, Lee! I was lying unconscious on the floor when you found me—"
Lee cut him off. "Or maybe you are just saying that because you killed them and then pretended you were unconscious so you would not look guilty. But too bad for you, Guy-sensei! Because I am not fooled!"
"No wait! Lee! You must understand! I didn't—"
"GGGGGGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
If only Guy had blamed Kakashi…then Lee might have believed him. But too bad he forgot.
Now I have to cover up all three of their deaths: Guy-sensei's, Sasuke's, and Naruto's.
Yes, Lee still thought he killed them all. And so, he swiftly buried all three bodies in a huge sand pile.
Unfortunately this was bad for three reasons.
One, the sand pile was so huge, it looked pyramid-like.
Yes, the actual pyramid size.
Two, now Lee was trapped in a pyramid-sized hole.
And three…
"Yo Lee. How did you get trapped down there?"
Kiba and Akamaru showed up.
Simply passing by with their usual walk around Konoha.
"K-Kiba!" Lee exclaimed, shocked. "W-what are you doing here?"
Kiba shrugged. "Just passing through. Anyways… how bout you? How did you get stuck down there?"
Meanwhile, as Lee nervously stalled by being silent, Akamaru caught a scent of a familiar smell and quickly leapt out of Kiba's jacket to sniff it out.
The smell led him to the pyramid-like pile, and so he hastily began digging whatever lay buried under.
"Yo Akamaru, whattya doing?" Kiba curiously asked (as he was getting nowhere with Lee).
"W-wait!" Lee desperately shouted.
Kiba ignored him and went right along digging with Akamaru. Whatever it is that eyebrow kid is trying to hide, I'll find it.
Five hours later
"Arf!"
"Whattya find?"
"Arf!"
Kiba gasped. In Akamaru's mouth was an arm!
Naruto's arm!
"Akamaru! I know we both hate Naruto, but for you to bite off his arm—and without letting me do it…" Kiba shook his head in disappointment—all the while taking out a kunai and gravely stated, "You've been one bad puppy Akamaru. You're gonna have to be punished…"
So he killed his dog. His so-called "best friend."
Kiba's kunai knife gleamed with crimson blood. "Ya know, I never really cared about Akamaru anyway," Kiba said to no one in particular (yes, he talks to himself). "I've been waiting to replace him with a bigger, better ninja dog anyway. MUHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Muhahahah…hahahaha…hahaha…
Kiba's sinister laughter echoed throughout the sand walls. And too bad Kiba wasn't very smart, because loud noises plus a pile of loosely-packed sand on a steep slope equaled a dead Kiba.
Buried alive.
Fortunately for Lee, he had already left the area five hours and one minute earlier. So yeah, the sand didn't bring down the "Lee-ster."
Unfortunately for "the Lee-ster", Kiba's (Akamaru's not really human, and so not really loved much in the ninja world) death was of much importance to someone…
When Kiba didn't show up for some 'special training' (a.k.a. dinner) at her house, Kurenai went in search for him.
That search led her to a large sand pile. And after hours of digging it out with a kunai…
"KIBA!!!!!"
She had found his buried-alive (well, not alive anymore) body. Once again, this caused another avalanche.
But being a sensei, she wasn't an idiot like Kiba, and easily moved out of the way (also carrying Kiba).
Once they were safely out of harm's way… "Kiba… my boy Kiba… you who's like a son to me… who did this to you?"
Abruptly, her teary eyes caught sight of a green spandex lying on the ground. Hmm… that means… that whoever killed Kiba… is running around Konoha naked
As for Rock Lee—just as Kurenai had predicted—well…he had decided that getting out of the sand pit was more important than anything…even if it meant he would have to say good-bye to his stretchy jumpsuit. So now that he had escaped the sand dunes, Lee pranced around Konoha in his boxers (because the Lee-ster has enough dignity than to "go commando"), looking for Sakura.
However, it was not long until he ran into Neji and Tenten.
Tenten covered her eyes, while Neji glared at Lee with disgust. "What are you doing like that, Lee? You're a disgrace to all shinobi."
Lee just ignored his teammate. "Hey, have you seen Sakura?"
"No, I haven't. But why are you asking me? Do you seriously think I ever see her?" Neji retorted.
That was when Tenten decided to speak up. "I haven't seen her either, Lee. But there's some rumor that been going around that I think you should know about…"
Lee widened his eyes in surprise. "What is it? Did Sakura finally confess her love for me?" Lee's eyes lit up. "This is too good to be true!"
Yet before Lee could dance around, Tenten whacked him on the head. "Listen up, Lee! Do you want me to tell you or not? Sakura's gone!"
"WHAT?!" Lee couldn't believe it. "But…how?!"
"Well, Kurenai-sensei just sent a message," Tenten continued. "While digging under piles of sand, she found the dead bodies of Guy-sensei, Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, and Akamaru…"
"Sakura's been reported missing since this morning," Neji cut in, "So everyone thinks her disappearance is linked to the deaths of the five of them. And from what Kurenai said…the killer left a green spandex suit behind…and should be roaming around the streets of Konoha…naked…"
Both Neji and Tenten eyed Lee, and then both pointed an accusing finger at him (yes, they just noticed). "LEE! YOU'RE THE KILLER!!"
Lee gasped. They KNOW
But he decided to play dumb. "Killer? Now, just because there is a green spandex lying around, does not mean it is I. It could have belonged to Guy-sensei."
"But even if he'd killed everyone, then who killed him?" Neji pointed out, still glaring at Lee in suspicion. Lee gulped and hastily said, "Someone could have framed me."
"Trust me," TenTen added, "No one else would touch that spandex of yours."
Lee scowled. Now there is only one thing to do… "Even if it is me, I will not be captured by you two. You two are too slow. I can outrun you both."
"We don't have to chase you," TenTen said with a mischievous smirk. "You're going to come with us willingly to Tsunade."
"No way. That is not true."
Even Neji looked at TenTen skeptically as Lee continued, "I will not—"
Lee paused when he saw TenTen waving something in her hand.
"Lookie here Lee, see what I got?"
It was a photograph of Sakura.
Lee instantly ran for it. "Gimme, gimme!"
Before Lee could get it, TenTen threw the photograph to Neji—who caught it perfectly with TenTen's perfect aim.
"That is not fair," Lee stated with a frown, and continued being the monkey in the middle until they all reached Tsunade.
By then, they finally handed the photograph to Lee. "Yay!" Lee eagerly snatched the photo away and kissed it over and over again…that is, until Lee suddenly froze, dropping the picture in the process. "Hey, what gives?!" Lee protested. "Tenten! Neji! Are you playing some kind of mean trick on me?!"
Tenten flashed an evil grin. "You're an idiot, Lee, you know that?" She bent down to pick up the photo and waved it in front of Lee.
Lee gasped. "What happened to that beautiful picture of Sakura?!"
"It's genjutsu…a sign inscribed on a parchment meant to look like a picture of Sakura, but what it really was…was a paralysis jutsu," Tenten explained haughtily, "But then again, I guess a no-talent like you wouldn't know something like that."
"What?" Lee couldn't conceal his shook. "B-But I thought you guys…were my friends…" Tears welled up in his eyes.
Neji shook his head. "Ex-friends at that," he told him calmly. "Who in their right minds would be friends with a murderer?!" Neji then whammed Lee right in the gut. "Heh. It's funny how you're now more pitifully weak than before…if that's even possible."
All of a sudden, Tsunade emerged from the shadow of her office. "Well, well. What do we have here?"
The moment they caught sight of her, both Tenten and Neji bowed. "We've found the criminal, Tsunade-sama," Tenten reported, her once-cold voice now reverent.
"B-But I am…not the…criminal!" Lee argued through gritted teeth. "I did not kill anyone!"
Tsunade grinned wickedly. "Nice work, Tenten…Neji… You know have my permission as the fifth Hokage to be married."
"Yay!" Neji and Tenten jumped around happily and then embraced each other. They skipped hand-in-hand towards the door…
Until Tsunade suddenly whipped out a pair of kunai.
And struck their backs, killing the newly-engaged couple on impact.
Lee quieted a gasp, but then started panicking like crazy when Tsuande reverted her attention to him. "Now…where were we? …Ah, yes…the guillotine shall do nicely…" (Tsuande has a crazy obsession with her beloved guillotine, remember?)
"Why did you kill them?" Lee asked. He wasn't distressed at his teammates' deaths.
He was simply curious. "I mean, they did nothing wrong."
"I just like killing people, like you. I know it wasn't you that killed those five—six, if you count Sakura. You're too much of a baka. But I haven't used my guillotine in such a long time… so I've decided to use it on you," Tsuande explained with a twisted broad grin before she ordered, "Now, march."
"Where?"
"To the guillotine, stupid." And with that, she jabbed him with a lengthy poking stick.
"Yoew!"
"Move it or the next one will have flames," Tsuande threatened before poking him again.
"Stop it! I was moving just now. You did not have to poke me with that thing. That is a cruel and unusual punishment."
"I am cruel," Tsuande sneered before she endlessly jabbed him until they'd reached her guillotine.
"NNNOOO!" Lee screamed as she shoved him into position. "I did not do it. I did not do anything! I do not deserve to die! I am too youthful!"
"Remember? I don't care whether you're the murderer or not. I just love to use my guillotine."
As soon as she'd finished, she moved out of the way and raised her hand, signaling to the executioner to release the blade.
And the executioner just so happened to be…
Jiraiya.
"Jiraiya!" Lee desperately cried out, as Jiraiya was about to release the blade, "Please, SAVE ME!!!!!"
"I am loyal to the Fifth only."
"Even if I give you dirty magazines?"
Jiraiya considered this…
He then leaned toward Lee. "I like your style, kid," he whispered with a smirk, "How many? You better make it a good offer."
"As many as you would like, just SAVE ME!" Lee begged frantically.
Before Jiraiya could answer, Tsunade suddenly turned to face him. "Hey you! Are you negotiating with the criminal?"
"N-No, milady!" Jiraiya answered, sweat starting to pour down his face.
"Do you know what happens to foolish little bakas who refuse to obey my every command?" Tsunade asked him, the impatience dripping from her voice. "Well, DO YOU?!"
"Yes, milady!" Jiraiya exclaimed. The sweat now ran down his face by the gallons. "I am but your humble servant! I will do your every command! You have my word!"
Tsunade's lips curled into a smile. "Good…" Note to self: after killing this kid, kill Jiraiya…Yes, kill Jiraiya…
As soon as Tsunade turned the other way, Jiraiya spoke to Lee: "I'm sorry, kid! But you're on your own!"
"But—you cannot—I mean, what about the dirty magazines?!" Lee protested.
"No amount of dirty magazines can get me to save your butt!" Jiraiya whispered back, and then shoved a brown bag over Lee's head before yanking him back down into position.
"Mmmfff!"
"We are gathered here today in Konoha to witness the death of a young shinobi…who took the lives of four of our beloved ninja, as well as a poor, innocent little dog. It will only serve us all justice if he perishes by my blade…" Tsunade declared. "Now who's with me?!"
"KILL THE BOY! KILL THE BOY! KILL THE BOY!"
And then suddenly, a lone voice rang out from the crowd: "Wait! STOP! I OBJECT! LET THE BOY LIVE!"
"WHO DARES INTERRUPT MY KILLING CEREMONY?!?!?!" Tsunade roared, then, when she realized all eyes were on her, she cleared her throat and corrected, "I mean, the time of bringing justice to all those poor, tragic lives that cannot be with us today."
"I did!" a recognizable voice shouted and, swinging his cloak off (yes, he wanted to be a Jedi), the voice belonged to…
"Kakashi???" Tsunade gaped in disbelief. Another most loyal subject? …Guess you can't trust anybody here. Later, I will force everyone into taking loyalty tests. And if they all fail, then they'll all suffer the fate of my guillotine.
"Yes, it is I, Kakashi," he responded dramatically before leaping onto the platform, adding, "Do not kill the boy, for I, am that murderer that you seek."
"In that case, you too shall die!"
A gasp emerged from the crowd.
"Kakashi?! But how?!"
"Yeah, he's the coolest ninja on the planet!"
"Is it true?!"
Kakashi sighed. "Yes, it is true," he confessed. "While I was out reading Make-Out Paradise this morning, I accidentally tripped on Naruto and Sasuke and crushed all their bones…" He hesitated. "So please, do not blame the boy."
"So you killed Naruto and Sasuke, but what about Guy, Akamaru, and my boy Kiba?" Kurenai asked from the crowd, "And about the disappearance of Sakura? Who's to blame for them—?!"
"YOU STUPID IDIOTS!!" Tsunade interrupted, the ferocity burning in her eyes. "Can't you see that there's obviously more people involved in this scandal?!" She pointed a finger at Lee. "This kid here could have very well been responsible for the deaths of the other three! You said you found his spandex suit at the scene of the crime, right, Kurenai?! If I have anything to say about it, I'd say "off with their heads"—the both of them!"
There was a moment of silence, before the crowd rang out in protest.
"Did you hear that? She called us 'stupid idiots!'"
"I'm not gonna take that! Who does she think she is?! Not my Hokage, that's for sure!"
"Yeah, yeah! Hokage's just a title, right?! Off with her head, then!"
Tsuande was alarmed. "What?! YOU FILTHY SCOUNDRELS!! YOU THINK YOU CAN KILL ME?! I CAN TAKE YOU ALL DOWN IN ONE BLOW! BRING IT ON!"
They tried.
But before they could reach her…
BAM!!!
With her super strength, she created the most powerful (and the first) earthquake ever to hit Konoha.
Nobody was left unaffected.
Meaning everybody died.
"See what I mean?" Tsuande bellowed triumphantly as all the crushed bodies surrounded her. "I am the Fifth Hokage. Nothing, and nobody, can stop—"
Abruptly, she felt something went through her body! N-no… I was… so… close…
As she collapsed, the snake slithered out of the hole it created.
And back to…
Orochimaru!
He wickedly grinned gleefully and—answering her earlier reply… "Except for another Sannin."
A/N: We apologize if there were any errors here, and if there is, please inform us so that we can correct it ASAP.
And yes, in a way, Orochimaru was the 'good' guy this time.
UPDATE: We thank Frog Lady a TON for catching an error and for helping us to fix it. If there are any more errors (hopefully not; the thought of it might KILL us!) please inform us so that we can correct it ASAP.