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This chapter wouldn't have been possible without Stayce, I owe you more than you can imagine, Babe. Thank you!

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Just language, no spoilers

Keep the Faith

Chapter 14

Was it too much to ask for one day of peace and quiet? I sighed. I'd almost been ready to believe that I wouldn't get a hold of Harry and would get one more day to think about what to say to him and how I was going to say it.

And I had completely and utterly forgotten about the wire tap RangeMan had on my phone. I hadn't thought about it since the last time I needed it, when crazy Teddy Gardner had terrorized me over the phone seven months ago and they'd tried to trace him. It had never occurred to me that the tap hadn't been removed afterwards. Were they spying on me, did Ranger know every number I called?

Ranger didn't give me the time to think about a response. "I'll be over as soon as I'm done here," he said when I didn't answer. "Don't even think about not being home, I'd find you."

The disconnect clicked in my ear while I was still trying to determine if he had meant that last bit as a joke. I stood with my mouth open, and I still didn't know what to tell him.

"Who was that?" Lula asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

The room started spinning and little white dots danced across my vision, so I held on to the counter. "I'll be fine," I told her. "Just hadn't expected Ranger to monitor my phone calls." Especially not when I called Harry the Hammer.

Lula had gotten up when she thought we were ready to leave and was standing close to me. Now she dropped her purse and took my elbow. "You don't look so good. You better sit down," she said and steered me over to the dining table.

"Don't move, I'll get you some water," she advised as soon as she'd deposited me on a chair. Damn, I thought, Ranger really knew how to freak me out lately. I usually only got this dizzy after maxing out my charge card at Macy's.

The way Lula was fussing, it was a good thing I hadn't told her about the nausea. Although I figured I shouldn't even think about that, since the muffin I had for breakfast might decide to come up again.

I took a sip of the water Lula handed me and it actually made me feel better. "So what's this really about?" Lula wanted to know.

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. Lula really deserved to know. "I haven't really had a chance to tell Ranger about my deal with Harry," I finally said and emptied the glass.

"What about Tank?" Lula wanted to know. "You tell him?"
I shook my head. "Just you." And Eddie, but that seemed a lifetime ago. And I never got to tell him what it was that Harry wanted me to do. He'd probably laugh his ass off if I told him I had to find a way to permanently separate Vinnie and Joyce.

Lula plopped down in the chair across from me. "Whoa. Why would you not tell your own private Army you had a problem?"

I sighed. It was a loaded question. Why hadn't I told Ranger after Teddy and Thomalla had been behind bars and I had time to breathe?

I can't say that I had forgotten about it, I'd just…sort of repressed it because I'd dreaded it and I'd managed to not think about it until I'd gotten the phone call a week ago. It's what I do, I go with denial until I almost believe it never happened.

I sighed again and put my elbows down on the table, crossed my forearms and rested my head on them.

"Guess I forgot."

"Hunh," Lula said and I didn't have to look up to know she was frowning. "And now you worry so much it makes you woozy?" The glass beads in her hair clicked as she shook her head. "Girl, you messed this one up but good."

I shrugged without looking up. "Everyone has to be good at something."

"You still want to go bounty huntering?" She asked me.

I opened my mouth to give her some excuse, but then I decided to go with the truth. "Ranger is going to come over. The control room must have told him I tried to call Harry, and now he wants to know why."

"I'll bet," was Lula's only comment.

"Probably I should stay here and wait for him." I said.

"And I don't need to be here for that. I always enjoy fireworks more from far away." Lula said with an edge to her voice.

"It's not like that," I said, looking up at her, but I didn't sound very convincing. It could be exactly like that.

"Didn't you say he wanted to 'talk' anyway?" She made air quotes with two fingers of each hand.

Yes, he wanted to talk. And I wanted to talk. The trouble was, we seemed to get interrupted every time we tried to. I grimaced and wondered if talking was really such a good idea.

"'Less you want me to stay, of course," Lula said, but she was squirming in her seat. Probably the thought of angry Ranger still made her nervous. Not that I was exactly calm. If Ranger didn't have such a tight control over his anger, I'd be running for the hills along with her.

"No, that's okay," I said and shrugged again. "I made that bed, now I have to lie in it."

"Speaking of beds," Lula said and grinned. "I should call Tank and find out when his lunch break is…" She got her cell phone out of her pocket and I rolled my eyes.

And then I remembered how my first month at RangeMan, I'd lost five pounds because I'd never actually gotten food during my lunch hour. I just waited for Ranger to come out of a meeting or home from a job and take him upstairs. Later I got smart and ate whenever I had a chance to.

"Voicemail. I'll try later." Lula looked at me and frowned. "Did I say something wrong? You're looking at me like I killed your hamster."

I pressed two fingers against my forehead to smooth out the lines. "No, sorry. I was just thinking." And I'd gotten sad thinking, not angry. And especially not at Lula.

"You sure you gonna be okay? You're not gonna faint or nothing if I leave?"

I gave her a weak smile. "It's just a stomach bug. You know I have the worst timing. I'll be fine."

"Unh-huh," Lula said. "You almost faint and blame it on the stomach?"

I sighed. "No, I had some problems last night. Trust me, you don't want details. The dizzy spell is just a leftover from that."

Lula raised her eyebrows. "Unh-huh."

Lula's unease was contagious. I hadn't the slightest idea where to begin to tell Ranger the whole story and now that I thought about it, I didn't really feel up to it. I'd procrastinated six months, a few hours more wouldn't matter. After all, Ranger hadn't told me when exactly he was coming over, probably much later, I figured. There had been a break-in, that meant a lot of paperwork and that took time.

"Maybe I should go and make a dent in my FTA file collection," I said. "Who knows when Ranger will be ready to talk, if I sit here and wait I'm gonna be a nervous wreck when he gets here."

"There's that," Lula agreed. "But what if he shows up in five minutes and finds you gone? Batman gonna like that?"

"Who cares about Batman," I said with a dismissive wave as I slowly got up. I held on to the table, but there was no dizziness, I was a-okay. Lula was still staring at me, hands on hips, trying to figure out if I was serious.

"What happened to the bed you made?"

"If he gets here before I do, he's gonna wait for me. I don't plan on staying away. It's not like I'm going into hiding or anything."

"Just as long as he knows I had nothing to do with the decision making," Lula grunted, but I knew she didn't think I'd throw her under the bus like that. Also, I wasn't quite sure Lula was as afraid of Ranger as she pretended. She's been known to stand up to him at times.

I went to get my hair and make-up presentable and thought about calling Ranger to tell him where I was going. But then I realized Bobby would take care of that, Lula had said he was sitting in my parking lot, and I had no intention of losing him. I'd tried that and I usually succeeded and it always ended badly for me.

"What about Bob?" Lula asked when I got out of my bedroom, checking my purse for all my paraphernalia. Bob was pressed against her leg and she was petting him. "Are we taking him with us?"

Bob could not be left alone because he'd howl and eat the furniture. "We'll take him with us and drop him at my parents' house," I said. "They're used to being his daycare."

"Okay, but bring a blanket," Lula said. "I don't want him shedding all over my seats."

Lula was very protective of her Firebird. I got a blanket from the back of the couch and we were finally ready to go. I had a squishy feeling in my stomach, but I knew where it came from this time: I knew I should stay home and wait for Ranger.

We trundled downstairs and I stopped by Bobby in his SUV to tell him where we were going. He raised an eyebrow and I knew he wanted to ask if I'd told Ranger about my plans but he didn't quite dare. In the end, he just nodded and started his car, and Lula and I maneuvered Bob onto the backseat of her car and took off.

We dropped Bob off and since Grandma Mazur was at the beauty parlor, it only took five minutes. It wasn't lunch time yet, and Mom was busy with housework, so I didn't have to feel bad about not stopping to chat.

"Take Hamilton to Glockner," I instructed Lula when we were alone in the car. "The skip lives on Delaware, off Glockner."

"I hope Bobby isn't gonna sic Ranger on us," Lula said as she stopped for a light. "Who are we after?"

"Even if he did, Ranger is mad at me, not at you, remember?" I went back to the file. "Robert Stelter. First time offender, left the site of an accident and was arrested because witnesses had his license plate."

238 Delaware was a row house in the middle of the block. We lucked out, Stelter was home and came with us willingly. He was one of those that had plain forgotten about their court date, probably a denier like me. I wasn't quite ready to buy lottery tickets, but so far, the day looked promising.

We weren't quite so lucky with the two other FTAs we went after, neither of them had been at home or at their work addresses, so I had to shelve them.

"I think we should break for lunch," Lula said as we buckled in after striking out at Tanya Zabitzky's house. It was one o'clock and surely lunch time, but my stomach was in such a nervous ball that I wasn't hungry. I told myself it was ridiculous and I shouldn't be nervous about talking to Ranger, but it didn't help.

I hadn't told my mom when I'd be picking Bob up, so I figured he could stay there for a while longer. Since we were only a few blocks from my house, I didn't want to make Lula drive all the way back to my parents'.

"You can just drop me off at home," I told Lula. "Probably RangeMan brought a car over by now anyway so you don't have to chauffeur me around anymore."

"You think Ranger is waiting for you." A statement, not a question. Once again, Lula saw right through me.

"That too," I admitted. Actually, I was sure of it. He'd said 'As soon as I'm done', which, now that I thought about it, had sounded like he was already wrapping up. So he'd probably been waiting for me for a while now. He might have called the control room or Bobby to learn where I was, but he hadn't called me. He was waiting for me in my living room, I could even imagine the way he was sitting in the chair.

"You gonna be okay?" Lula asked one more time as she pulled up to my building's rear door.

"Of course," I said. "It's just a talk. Piece of cake."

"Okay, but call me later," she said and took off. I gave Bobby a finger wave as he pulled into a parking spot. He nodded in response and I braced myself for the inevitable, taking long, deep breaths as I made my way through the lobby and up the stairs. I didn't take the elevator, because the stairs gave me a couple more minutes to think about what I was going to say, come up with some sort of game plan.

I stood in front of my door and wondered if I was better off sneaking up the fire escape. I could just crawl into my bed and try to convince Ranger I'd been there the whole time.

But with my luck, he'd hear me on the fire escape and shoot me.

I took one last deep breath and unlocked my door. I pushed it open and listened. All was quiet inside. Of course it would be, you never heard or saw Ranger if he didn't want you to.

Reminding myself that what I'd told Lula was actually the truth, I straightened my shoulders, dumped my pocket book on the end table in the foyer and stalked into the living room.

No Ranger.

Okay, so he was waiting in my bedroom. Trickier, because I found it hard to concentrate on anything when I saw Ranger on a bed, but okay.

I was wrong. Ranger wasn't in the bedroom. Or the bathroom, or any of the closets. I don't know why I went and checked the closets, but I did.

"He's not here," I told the sleeping Rex. There was some movement in the pine shavings, but he didn't emerge.

I'd been so sure that Ranger would be waiting for me that I needed a moment to regroup when I realized he wasn't in my apartment. And I figured I might as well regroup lying down, so I went to the bedroom and plopped down on the bed in my thinking position.

I was kind of beat from getting so little sleep the night before, so I figured I'd take a nap, but sleep wouldn't come. Instead, I actually started thinking.

For days now, I'd been running around with this feeling of guilt. I still thought Ranger was wrong trying to protect me from him, but on some level, maybe he was right when he didn't want to see me anymore. Who would want to date a liar, right?

Well, fuck that. I had nothing to feel guilty about. Ranger's strange behavior pretty much overshadowed my memory of that day, but I still had a clear recollection of wanting to tell him all about Harry and Guzzarella.

I'd been waiting for him to return from his mission just so I could talk to him and ask for his advice.

So it wasn't my fault at all, I had nothing to feel guilty about. If he had spent one minute of his time listening to me, or asking me how my week without him had been I would have had an opportunity to tell him all about it.

I jumped up as realization hit me and had to sit back down when the room started spinning.

I realized I wouldn't be in this mess if Ranger had taken the time to listen to me.

Lester wouldn't have gotten shot. I wouldn't have gotten abducted. I wouldn't have been ambushed in my apartment.

"Holy hell," I whispered.

Well, enough of that. Batman wanted to talk? Fine, we'd talk.

For half a second I contemplated waiting for him, but then I had a better idea: It was time to take this fight to his territory.

I practically flew into the bathroom and added two coats of mascara to my lashes for courage, fluffed up may hair, and then I gave my self the thumbs-up in the mirror and rushed out.

Bobby looked like he was thinking about flinching when I wrenched his passenger door open and hopped into the SUV.

"Hi" I said, smiling at him, as if I rode with him every day. "Let's go to the office."

"Vinnie's?" He looked a bit confused. Heh, I'd surprised a Merry Man!

"No, RangeMan," I said. "I need to get some work done."

Bobby recovered from his initial shock and nodded. "Okay," he said and started that car. I was clutching my shoulder bag to my stomach as if I'd get some support from it.

Was I doing the right thing? Would pushing Ranger now be a good idea?

I scoffed. There it was again. I was blaming myself and made Ranger the wounded hero, when none of this was my fault. It wasn't his fault either, but he was just as guilty as I was of not talking. So there.

I ignored Bobby's curious look and focused my attention on the road, thankfully it was only a short ride to Haywood.

As soon as we drove into the underground garage, my heart rate sped up and I started sweating. And I hadn't even seen Ranger yet! This was not good. I did some deep breathing and got myself under control for the moment.

I wondered if I should ask Bobby to disable the security cameras, maybe he had a gizmo for it just like Ranger, but then I realized I'd confused him enough for one day and just followed him to the elevator.

I took a casual look around the garage and noticed the empty spot where Ranger's Carrera was usually parked. Good, he was still out.

When we got into the elevator, I flashed Bobby a smile to show him I hadn't lost my mind, I didn't want him to alert the other guys.

As soon as the doors opened on the 5th floor, I went looking for Tank. I'd decided he'd be my partner in crime for this one. I wanted to surprise Ranger with my presence, and I couldn't do that without help. At the same time, I had to try to be seen by as few Merry Men as possible, so they couldn't tip Ranger off. It was so much easier for Ranger to 'break into' my apartment, it really wasn't fair.

Tank was in the back of the control room, bent over a desk, studying papers. Lester was at the monitors, along with Junior, they both had their backs to me. There were more RangeMen 'on deck', but I didn't see them so I hoped they couldn't see me. I crouched down next to Tank and relayed my plan to him. He raised an eyebrow but nodded his agreement.

When I left the control room for the elevator, he followed me and pointed his key fob at the camera, then he winked and wished me luck. We both knew I needed it.

I rode up to the 7th floor with sweaty palms. I didn't even know why I was so damned nervous now, it had all seemed very logical when I'd been at home.

Tank had agreed to interrupt the video feed and talk to Bobby. They would keep my presence at RangeMan between them, although they wouldn't lie if asked directly.

I was sure Ranger wouldn't ask 'Have you seen Stephanie, is she here?' so I felt pretty safe there. That was, when and if he ever chose to return. Tank said he hadn't seen him all day. I couldn't believe he'd let me wait all this time. If I hadn't left with Lula, I would have pulled all my hair out by now.

I let myself into his apartment and let the quiet and coolness wash over me. It was quieter in Ranger's apartment in the afternoon than it was at my place in the dead of the night.

I got a bottle of water from the fridge and settled myself in the armchair facing the front door. Then I jumped up to lower the blinds. Then I jumped up to push the chair to the left a little bit to give me a better angle. I sat back down and switched my position about ten times before I settled on crossing my legs and leaning back.

When I was finally comfortable, I tried to come up with the best strategy, assuming that I was able to keep the fact that I was here from Ranger until he opened the door. I needed that ace in my sleeve to at least have the element of surprise.

I believe I nodded off a few times because I came awake with a snap when I heard the front door locks tumble. The apartment was bathed in the reddish light of dusk. I forced myself to remain in the chair for just a moment longer.

Ranger didn't make much noise, only his keys jingling in the silver tray on the sideboard announced his presence.

I jumped up as soon as he stepped through the archway that separated the foyer from the rest of the apartment.

"It's about time," I said, my voice louder than I had intended.

His eyes widened marginally and his shoulders straightened ever so slightly, the only indicators that I had surprised him. But I had succeeded; he hadn't expected me here.

Now, I swear my plan was to confront him all calm and mature, discuss it all. When I realized hours had passed and he didn't even call me to tell me he'd be late after promising me to stop by right after he wrapped up with the account and on top of everything, I had managed to surprise him, all my calmness left the building. I was in rhino mode in no time flat.

And it wasn't anything he'd done that second, he hadn't even said anything yet. No, this was the whole past week exploding like one big bomb.

"Glad you could finally make it." I walked over to where he was standing, my hands clenched behind my back. He opened his mouth to answer me but I didn't give him the chance. We made eye contact and I swear his eyes narrowed in confusion. He hadn't expected this. I stopped inches from him and got ready to tell him everything I'd been thinking about that afternoon.

"How come you say you want to talk and then you disappear? You know what that reminds me of?" I poked him in the chest. I. poked. him. I almost expected him to raise a hand to ward me off, but he stayed motionless, just watching me.

"It reminds me of the time a week ago when I needed you and really needed to talk to you and you turned your back on me! You did the same thing you did today, you just up and left. And then you turn around and accuse me of not telling you??" My volume was still rising and I could practically see Ranger shut down, but I had to concentrate on not screaming, I couldn't calm down completely. The words were coming out of me before I would filter them in any way, I hardly gave myself time to breathe, I was going at a mile a minute.

"Do you have any idea how happy I was to see you? Do you even know how much I missed you and needed you? Did you ever stop to think that I needed you? Did you ask?" I took a step back, hands on hips, glaring at him.

"Nooo, you didn't ask. You decided you needed to 'distance' yourself from me." I was flailing my arms and jerked back when Ranger reached for me.

"This is your fault." This time my finger just pointed but I didn't poke him. "All of it! If your head wasn't so far up your ass, you may even notice what's going on around you every now and then!"

I took a deep breath, but there was no calming me down. I had to let it all out. I was proud of myself for not throwing a temper tantrum. My voice was raised, but I wasn't screaming. It didn't even matter to me that I was exaggerating, I was on a roll.

I searched Ranger's eyes, but they were blank like the rest of his face, there was no knowing what he was thinking. He'd crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall behind him.

I knew time was running out, if I wanted to get everything off my chest, I had to do it before he stonewalled me completely.

"I was waiting for you all day, just to talk to you, and now…" Ranger looked like he was thinking about responding so I held up a stopping hand. "Don't interrupt me! You've had your turn. As a matter of fact, you've been doing all the talking and all the deciding lately and I can't get a word in edgewise. So I know that if I stop talking now, you're gonna take over again."

I thought I saw a sparkle in his eye and the corners of his mouth quirked up. Was I amusing him?? Did he have the audacity to make fun of me? That son of a bitch.

I gasped and my eyes probably looked like they were ready to pop out of my skull. "You think this is funny? I don't have secrets, Ranger. You only know what you choose to have time for. I would have told you everything if you had given me the time of day! If, for one moment," I held up my index finger for emphasis, "you'd considered I needed your help, not your protection! I am not a damsel in distress, I am your friend!"

My idea had been to grab my shoulder bag at that and leave Ranger standing in my dust as I rushed out the door. But when I bent down to pick up my purse, I felt bile rise in my throat and my stomach clenched painfully.

I clamped a hand to my mouth and managed to half run, half stumble to the bathroom and avoided making a mess on Ranger's plush carpets.

Ranger came into the bathroom just as I was rinsing my mouth and without a word, he picked me up and carried me out. Had he even heard a word I'd told him? Did he have anything to say?

The nausea was slowly subsiding after the barfing and when Ranger put me on his bed, I didn't think 'rest'.

"Stay here. You move one muscle, I'll restrain you."

My hormones chose that moment to override my pride and anger. He hadn't just said it, he'd growled it. Probably I should have told him that caveman-macho shit didn't work for me, but that would have been a lie.

He jogged out of the bedroom and what just happened hit me: Once again, we were interrupted.

I grunted in frustration and hit the pillow next to me. Were we doomed never to have a decent conversation? I felt somewhat better for venting my anger. I could do the calm and mature talking for a bit, but I felt better when I didn't have to control my volume.

Then the room started spinning. I was lying on my back on Ranger's bed, and it felt like I was on a boat in high seas.

My stomach was quiet for now, but I was worried it would complain again next so I slowly sat up, thinking slow might work. I was sure Ranger didn't mean I couldn't get up to get a bucket.

I didn't get that far though, after it had taken me a few minutes to just get into a sitting position, the bedroom door burst open and Ranger all but shoved Dr. Mahoney at the bed.

Damn. Ranger had gotten a doctor. True, it was better than hauling me to a hospital, but still, he knew I hated all things medical.

"Tell me what's wrong with her," Ranger told Dr. Mahoney, "Do not take her word for it if you ask her questions."

I stuck my tongue out at him and lifted my head. "Dr. Mahoney, I…"

"I think it's about time we switched to John, don't you? I see you more than any of my other patients." He grinned, took out a notepad and pen and shook my hand.

"Now what's this vomiting about?" John ran his fingers over my neck and my lymph nods and did some prodding.

"Any chance you're pregnant?" I heard Ranger suck in air sharply and bells started clanging in my head.

Yes, technically, there was a chance.

Dr. Mahoney leaned forward and I was able to see Ranger behind him, standing in the doorway. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

I focused back on Dr. Mahoney and slowly shook my head, still trying to do the math. "I don't think so..."

John nodded and took my temperature. "Any other symptoms besides the vomiting?" He shined a penlight into my eyes. "Any dizziness? Shortness of breath? Chest pain?"

"The room is spinning," I admitted.

"Hm," he said in that tone doctors have that left every possibility open. He took an instrument out of his black leather back and turned my head to look into my ears.

"Any pain?" He asked.

"No."

"Hmmm." The other ear.

Then he leaned back and made some notes. "It looks like an inner ear infection," he said, not looking up from writing.

I remembered ear infections from my childhood. "There's no pain," I pointed out.

John nodded and looked up. "That's because the infection is not in your middle ear where you have pain receptors. I'm writing you a prescription for an antibiotic; you should feel better in a couple days. If not, call me."

"I feel better now," I said and thought about getting up to demonstrate. But the room hadn't stopped spinning and I wasn't sure that was a good sign.

Plus, if a doctor said it was an ear infection, it was an ear infection. I liked that option much more than the other. Antibiotics I could handle, diapers I wasn't so sure about. And who am I to argue with a doctor?

"Fine," I relented and sank back onto the bed. I could feel Ranger's eyes on me with even though I was staring at the ceiling.

Ranger escorted John out after I'd thanked him and came back a couple minutes later.

"Can I say something?" he asked and I looked at him to find out if he was making fun of me. He looked absolutely serious. He sat down on the side of the bed and grabbed an afghan off the end to cover me.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I was an ass." He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and let his hand linger. "You were right, I didn't listen. But I'm listening now."

The heat from his hand seeped into me and I felt warm for the first time that day. I had tears in my eyes, but this time they were brought on by Ranger's total sincerity.

"Do you want to talk now?" he asked, then he scooted off the bed, took his boots off and lay down next to me.

His arm snaked around my waist and he pulled me towards him until we made two perfect spoons.

"Not right now," I admitted. I was emotionally spent from the yelling earlier and physically exhausted from the Ralph attack.

"Ella is getting your script filled. Do you want to stay here tonight?" His finger had started drawing circles on my shirt over my stomach and was slowly inching south.

On the other hand..."Do you really want to listen?"
"Babe, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, and you know it. I did a lot of thinking today…"

I smiled. "That's what took you so long?"
He chuckled and his breath tickled the skin under my ear as he squeezed me tighter for a beat. "I had a lot to think about…"

"And you would do anything to help me?" I had an idea. It was wrong, it was mean, but I couldn't help it. Ranger hadn't said he'd changed his mind during his soul searching, but so far, it looked good. Still though, I wouldn't be me if I just forgave and forgot. And what if this was just temporary, until I felt better? A little payback couldn't hurt.

"If I asked you to do something for me and it would solve all my problems, would you do it?"

Ranger kissed the shell of my ear. "Anything."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I owe Harry the Hammer a favor."

"Babe."

He covered my left hand with his and I turned around to face him, biting my cheek to keep a straight face.

"I need you to seduce Joyce so that she is ruined for all other men, including Vinnie."

TBC

A/N: Well there you have it, just a simple ear infection. Hehehehe. Since Ranger said he would do anything for her, is he going to help Steph? Or is he going to go all Meat Loaf "But I won't do that"? Let me know what you think!