"Alex I am not a child!" said Meredith furiously as she stormed to the locker room. "I do not need to be protected!"
"Holden is a creep," said Alex. "You don't need someone like him."
"What I don't need is you threatening our boss, because he was speaking to me."
"I'm looking out for you," said Alex defensively.
"I am capable of looking after myself."
"But you're not, especially when it comes to guys like that," shouted Alex both of the, unaware that half the surgical staff could hear them, as they were standing in the doorway of the locker room.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means you fall for selfish, narcissistic, assholes that leave you for the next quick screw, whether it's his wife, a scrub nurse or any other whore willing to get on her back," shouted Alex and as soon as he said it he regretted it.
"I already knew that," said Meredith sounding angry but Alex knew he had hurt her.
"Mer…I'm sorry," he sighed.
"Don't be you're right," said Meredith calmly. "Stupid me, right?"
"Grey, Karev rounds now!" roared Bailey.
"I loved her," said Derek more to himself than anything else. He had heard what Alex had said and it hurt, surely Meredith hadn't reduced what they had had to that.
"Yeah but you also left her for another woman…twice," said Mark bluntly.
"But it wasn't about sex, I didn't leave her so that I could sleep with them," said Derek. Alex had made him seem like some randy bastard that couldn't keep it in his pants.
"Doesn't that make it worse then?"
"But…She's the love of my life, she knows that…I told her that," said Derek not knowing how Meredith could agree with Alex.
"Then you've got a real special way of showing it," said Mark. "Look you and Grey are over. Done. She's never going to come back, you've pushed her away for good this time. Seems like she's moving on with Holden."
"Holden?" said Derek scowling. "I don't think so."
"Why not?"
"Well…because…We can't be done forever," said Derek the thought of never ever being with Meredith again just hitting him. He knew they had broken up but never seeing her smile up at him again, never slipping his arm round her smooth little waist and never getting to kiss her again.
"Are you seriously telling me you didn't know that it was over?" said Mark incredulously.
"You were damn lucky she took you back after your wife showed up! How much more can you expect that poor girl to take?" snapped Bailey interrupting him. "You stay the hell away from my resident!"
"I have to go," said Derek walking away.
"I mean it!"
----------------------------------------
"Are you okay?" Meredith asked Derek as they scrubbed out of a surgery together.
"Uh…yeah I'm fine," said Derek. "Why do you ask?"
"Don't take this the wrong way, but you seemed pretty distracted in there," she said carefully.
"Yeah I guess I was," sighed Derek. "I've just got some stuff on my mind."
"Anything I can help with?"
"Why would you want to help me?" said Derek feeling sorry for himself.
"You tell me, why would I want to help you?"
"I can't think of a single reason why you would," said Derek sadly.
"Me neither," said Meredith. "But here I am."
"How are you?" asked Derek watching her with his dreamy face.
"Me? I though we were talking about you," laughed Meredith.
"I saw your argument with Alex this morning," he said.
"Oh that was nothing," said Meredith. "We both just have to calm down and everything will be fine tonight. Alex is just a little over protective right now."
"Hmmmm. He's looking out for you," said Derek. "I'm glad he is."
"What has it got to do with you whether Alex is looking out for me or not?" said Meredith bluntly. She shouldn't be talking like this with Derek anymore, she already missed him there was no need to make it worse.
"I want to know that you're okay," he said softly.
"I'm fine."
"You're always fine," said Derek. "I just like to know that someone is there to look out for you since I can't anymore. I'm glad he warned you about Holden, he isn't right for you…he's a womanizer…"
SLAP! Meredith's hand connected with Derek's cheek, the sound echoing through the scrub room.
"Who I date or don't date is nothing to do with you!" hissed Meredith shaking with rage. "What right do you have to give me any advice on my love life?"
"Meredith," said Derek rubbing his jaw.
"And I would take a womanizing man whore over you any day," she hissed storming out of the scrub room.
-----------------------------------------
"George," said Meredith who had run from the scrub room to the tunnels, where she found George lying on a gurney.
"Hey," he said glancing up at her. "How was the surgery?"
"Fine," said Meredith. "I think I'm done being bright and shiny again."
"Did Alex…"
"No Alex hasn't done anything," she sighed kicking off her shoes. "Scoot over."
"You want to talk about it?" asked George as Meredith lay next to her.
"No," she said. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay," said George patting her on the shoulder. "Do you want to shout 'seriously' a few times?"
"Maybe later."
Ten minutes later George's pager started to go off.
"I have to take it," he said. "It's 911"
"Alright," said Meredith. "Thanks George."
"Anytime," he said running towards the stairs.
"I'm sorry," said a dreamy voice in the corner.
"Go away," said Meredith staring up at the ceiling.
"Just let me talk to you please," he said sadly.
"You can talk," she said stubbornly. "Doesn't mean I'm going to listen though."
"You were right," said Derek kneeling down in front of the gurney. "I don't have any right to tell you who to date. I shouldn't worry about who is looking out for you."
"No you shouldn't."
"But I do," said Derek wondering if he was going to get another slap, he probably deserved one. "I lie awake at night worrying about you. I watch Holden whenever he talks to you, when he looks at you I could gladly kill him with my bare hands. This morning…do you really think I…did you think it was about sex?"
"No," said Meredith. "Sex I think was the one thing we didn't have a problem with.'
"You know I loved you?"
No answer.
"I still love you," he continued cautiously. "You're still the love of my life and…I miss you so much."
"Oh that makes everything better," said Meredith bitterly. "You love me, you miss me. Let's forget the past two months every happened…oh wait it was more than two months wasn't it? Why don't we just forget the past year happened? You know you're wife showing up and everything…"
"Meredith…"
"What do you honestly expect Derek?"
"I…I don't know," he said emotionally. "But I love you…"
"Yeah you love me when I'm bright and shiny but guess what Derek I'm not so bright and shiny right now…so you can fuck off back to your happy nurse!"
"Meredith I love you, bright and shiny, dark and twisty," said Derek.
"Of course you do."
"I do," said Derek desperate to make her see that he was telling the truth. "I can't imagine being without you for the rest of my life. I wanted commitment and to settle down, I thought if I could find someone who wanted that too everything would be fine…but it's not you. It's you I need."
"Too bad I don't want or need you!"
"Tell me you don't love me then," said Derek. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't still love me."
"I don't love you," Meredith lied.
"I said look at me and tell me."
"Go away!"
"No."
"So what you're saying is, you broke me because I wasn't ready to give up everything I've ever known and be with you for the rest of my life. You replaced me in a matter of minutes and then you changed your mind and I'm expected just jump when you say so…again!" shouted Meredith. "Not going to happen."
"I don't expect it to be easy," said Derek. "I know I have a lot to make up for."
"You're right it's not going to be easy," Meredith shouted. "It's not going to happen, I will never be with you again! The mere thought of you touching me makes me sick to my stomach!"
"Don't say that!"
"Go away Derek!"
"Okay, I'll give you space for now," said Derek knowing it was best not to push it anymore than he already had. "But I love you, and I don't think I can live without you."
"Go and throw yourself off the building then, save us all a lot of time."
I have been a good author and updated really quickly, so please be nice readers and tell me what you think.