Meredith stood outside the little café on the corner, it was seven fifteen. She had been standing outside for twenty minutes, watching as Derek waited for her. She couldn't explain why she couldn't bring herself to go in, she just felt rooted to the spot. She knew she shouldn't even be there, she should be strong and walk away from him for good. But he was McDreamy. He was her McDreamy.
Then he spotted her, he looked up and saw her. Now she had to choose, should she go in and should she run. She hesitated for a second before she walked into the café, sat down in the booth and grabbed a menu.
"How long were you standing out there?" asked Derek.
"A few minutes," Meredith lied.
"Were you thinking about anything in particular?" he asked. He had seen her standing there for the past ten minutes.
"Yes actually," said Meredith.
"And…"
"And what?"
"What did you decide?"
"What makes you think I was deciding something?"
"Just a hunch," said Derek. "So…how is Lexie? Did your father show up yet?"
"No he hasn't," said Meredith. "She's still a wreck."
"That's a shame, if I can do anything…"
"I was decided something," Meredith blurted out. "I was thinking about you and if I should see you outside work."
"And…"
"And here I am," said Meredith. "It's just breakfast."
"Just breakfast."
"Right," said Meredith.
"How are you?"
"Fine."
"You know when you say fine, nobody believes you anymore," said Derek. "I know you're not fine."
"Okay, I'm not fine," said Meredith. "I'm freaking out."
"About?"
"Am I going to end up like my mother or my father?" she blurted out. "Because I can't decide which is worse. Dying bitter and alone or trying to find the answers to lifes problems at the bottom on a Tequila bottle."
"Neither," said Derek. "You don't have to be either."
"Probably my father," said Meredith pretending she hadn't heard him. "I can't remember the last time I had the night off and was sober. Drowning in a bottle of Tequila, not a very bright and shiny way to die."
"You're not dying."
"I know," said Meredith. "You asked what I was freaking out about, it's not my fault it's death."
"You're not dying, and you're not your parents," said Derek firmly. "You can still choose who you want to be. You're not bitter and twisted."
"Aren't I?"
"No," said Derek. "You're dark and twisty there is a difference."
"You're right I'm being silly," said Meredith. "It's just my father going missing…lack of sleep…"
"If you're worried, it's not silly," said Derek. "You can talk to me."
"I know," said Meredith. "Shall we order?"
"I don't think you'll have any more problems finding your charts now," said Derek after they had placed their orders. "I spoke to the nurses, then yelled a little."
"Oh so now you're going to have trouble finding your charts," smirked Meredith.
"I hope not," said Derek. "Anyway we have interns to find them for us."
"Hey I was an intern, three months ago!"
"But now you're a resident," Derek pointed out. "A pretty good resident too, I heard about that spinal surgery you did with Peterson, very impressive."
"Thank you," said Meredith. "So how are you?"
"Can't complain too much," said Derek. "I miss having you around a lot though."
"I thought this was just breakfast."
"It is. I can't tell you I miss you?"
"No." said Meredith. "You can't this is just breakfast, so you can stop being dreamy because it's not going to work. We're being civilized and…friends."
"Friends?" said Derek raising an eyebrow at her.
"Friends," she said. "Unless you don't want to be friends?"
"No I do want to be friends," said Derek quickly. "I care about you Meredith."
"I still care about you Derek," said Meredith avoiding his gaze. "God only knows why but I do."
"Good," said Derek sensing he should change the subject before he said something stupid. "So did you hear Dr. Holden got offered head of Cardio at Mercy West?"
"Yes I did, he told me," said Meredith casually.
"Oh right…so he's leaving?"
"Yes he is, he took the job and his last day is tomorrow," said Meredith. "He also asked me out."
"What?" spluttered Derek spraying his coffee over the table.
"He asked me out, since he won't be my boss anymore it wouldn't be breaking the rules," said Meredith grabbing a napkin to clean the coffee off the table. "Don't act as though it was a total shock, nobody else was surprised."
"What did you say?"
"I said I'd think about it," said Meredith sipping her coffee. "He's a nice guy, he even thinks I'm endearing when I'm drunk."
"So you're going to go out with him?" said Derek flatly.
"I think so, yes," said Meredith. "That isn't a problem for you is it?"
"I can't tell you what to do."
"No you can't."
"What about us though?" asked Derek before he could stop himself.
"There is no 'us' Derek."
"There could be."
"You cheated on me."
"I didn't cause all our problems," said Derek defensively.
"I know," said Meredith. "But you cheated on me, so that pretty much cancels out the things I did."
"Meredith."
"What?" she snapped. "I thought this was just breakfast."
"It's not just breakfast," sighed Derek. "I thought that was clear from the amount of times we said just breakfast."
Meredith couldn't help but smile in spite of herself.
"We don't work."
"We do," said Derek. "When it was good, it was great remember?"
"Yes I remember."
"We can get that back."
"Can we?"
"We can try."
"I'll think about it," Meredith sighed.
"That's all I'm asking for."