Bad Romance

AN: Because this piece was on its way! Inspired by "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga! Thank you everyone who's been reading! [No, I am not done yet!]

Disclaimer: Plot is mine, not the characters and the song belongs to Lady Gaga and associates!

Rating: K+

It was illogical, but he desired it all. He wanted everything for as long as he could take it, unsure as to when this would all fall apart, it's inevitable nature, however difficult that was to accept.

He wanted those hands, the fire that spread inside of him, that all-consuming disease that ate away barriers.

Most of all, he wanted love. As impossible as it was to hope for, in spite of logic, he desired that most of all. To the point where it consumed him, just like that touch.

There was something to being with the Captain, with James, Jim, that just held this appeal, this drama, that made it so irresistible, the idea of having something, claiming something, being able to do things to made the Captain want him too.

They collided like stars, hot and fierce, destructive, and there was something to that, something Spock couldn't understand, but they gravitated to each other, more powerful than anything he had ever felt, something he only barely regret feeling. But the touch of that hand, that kiss, they made him forget who he was, even if he still refused to show it.

But passion burns out, fades, and soon, there would be left no novelty in their relationship for the Captain. But he, the half-Vulcan, he wanted the Captain, desired him, needed him on a level he couldn't understand, some sort of stabilization, a refuge. He needed this romance, however strained and terrible it was.

He wanted love, but most importantly, it needed to be Jim's. He needed that obstinately, grating, impulsive, passionate supernova, something that drew him in and ravaged him, because true to the nature of his ancestors, emotions were too encompassing, too powerful, and if he was going to let go, he wanted to receive what he could give, and the only person that could offer him that was his Captain.

There was nothing about this was right. So many rules were broken for something that could barely stand by itself. Their connection was weak at best, flawed, shallow. It was illogical, broken, and one-sided, but he couldn't help but desire what it could offer. It was a bad romance, threatening to take everything and give nothing back.

It hurt that he couldn't know what Jim was thinking. As much as he needed to know, his entire being was against violating that sanctity. But they were running out of time. He was starting to crack, and their relationship weighed on him. He couldn't handle the way it brought everything out of him. It made him feel weak.

Those hands were on his back, working out the knots, the knots caused by those hands. He buried his face on his folded arms, feeling too human, but too tired to care. He sighed, almost inaudibly, fingers massaging his neck carefully.

"What's bothering you?"

The words cut the silence open and left him without anything to say.

"You can tell me."

"Jim," he whispered, the name still sending an imperceptible shiver up his spine. There was so much on this. A bad romance, but he loved it none-the-less, loved Jim. He would take everything, would suffer retaliation, but they couldn't be friends, not anymore.

"Spock." The voice at his ear was soft, diffident, something he was so unfamiliar hearing. "I love you."

Perhaps it wasn't as bad as he thought.