Chris was a man with a plan - and he hated it when his plans fell through. "Shoulda got Vin off this damn porch two chapters ago..." he cursed himself as he looked down the street to a baker's dozen of trouble heading right for them: The O'Brien Clan was headed their way.

"Vin. .." Chris shook him none too gently and pulled the empty mug out of his hands. "Come on, let's get you inside." But it was too late. Vin's head came up just as the twins hurled themselves at him. The girl, Mehitabel, made it first and was in Vin's lap in a second.

"You - you - know - we got TWO Dan'ls?" She had just discovered this on the way to town. She spoke as if she'd seen Vin minutes ago, not days. "We - we - we- got - we got BIG Dan..." She gestured dangerously. "And - and - we got - we got - Little Dan'l. Little Dan'l - he fell into the water. He fell into a REALLY BIG river...and - and - Abby said you saved him -"

Vin was coming awake slowly, he could hardly focus his eyes on the girl, and all he could think about was some way of getting her off of him without being rude. Then the problem was taken care of by the chatterbox herself - gesturing the way she'd seen her big sister do, 'Bel sighed: "And Abby says you got the BLUEST eyes she's EVER seen..." And she was whisked out of earshot so fast by Abby that even Chris was startled.

A little voice, and a little hand tugging on his sleeve, got Vin's attention at the side of the chair, and the little boy Zeke whispered conspiratorially "An' all his blood woulda come out..." And he nodded as though that was the most profound thought in the world.

Mrs. O'Brien reached them next. "Sorry if my chickens bothered you boys..." She reached for Zeke's hand as she smiled down at Chris and Vin, checked her pocket for a pin for a wayward pinafore, swept the street with her eyes to find Abby and 'Bel, and took quick count of the rest. "Needed a few things and most of the little 'uns ain't been in town yet...you feelin' better honey?" Vin nodded.

"...tired's all..." He searched the crowd of children, looking for Bart. The boy was at the back of the line, walking, stopping, scuffing, pouting, catching up, slapping away all attempts to be touched by the other kids. Mr. O'Brien brought up the end of the train, keeping pace with Bart's stop and go progress.

Vin was tired, his head hurt, he hadn't eaten anything since the little he'd been able to swallow at dinner yesterday noon and that tickle was scratching the back of his throat again. Memories flooded him and he didn't have the strength to fend them off. Walking with his Ma, she'd stop every time he did, pick flowers, watch bugs, hug him and 'race' him to the next tree.

But that changed.

Abby set 'Bel down and, anxious to be away from Vin and her embarrassment, tried to hurry Bart along. He swung out at her and instead hit 'Bel on the shoulder and knocked her down. She sat up and opened her mouth in a long, silent scream till she took a breath and split the town with her outrage.

Bart clenched his fists, squeezed his eyes shut, and cried too, in frustration and grief and sympathy with his sister. Mr. O'Brien grabbed him from behind. Vin tensed in his chair, waiting for - expecting, dreading - the blow that would send Bart down into the mud next to his howling sister. But Mr. O'Brien turned him to cradle against his shoulder. They were too far away to hear what he was saying over all his other children, but they could tell that he was comforting Bart, as Mrs. O'Brien swooped onto 'Bel to similarly quiet her.

Expecting brutality, Vin was overwhelmed by the tenderness he witnessed. He pushed his body out of the chair and with no explanation fled the porch, heading he didn't know where, just away. He had to get away from there.

Chris followed after Vin. He had no trouble catching up - Vin didn't seem all that steady on his feet and he wasn't making any time. Still, when Chris reached out to stop him, Vin whirled on him and put his arm up to block the touch.

"Leave me be Chris. I gotta..." But his voice trailed off.

"Gotta what?" Chris asked, gently. Vin didn't answer. Tears flickered in his eyes and he looked down. Chris couldn't help wondering if Vin was thinking of his Ma. Maybe thinking of joining her. "Gotta what Vin?"

"...w-w-walk." The word came out awkwardly. "Gotta just walk."

"All right - I'll come with you."

"NO." That came out strong enough. "Leave me be." He shrugged off Chris' hand and hurried off. Chris watched Vin till he was far enough away to follow without setting him off again.

M7*M7*M7

Josiah was on the floor, under a pew, attempting to retrieve his hammer when he heard someone stomp up the front steps and slam the front door open and closed.

"It ain't fair!" He heard Vin's voice, then came the distinct sound of a far pew being kicked.

Quietly, not wanting to startle Vin, Josiah came out from under the pew. Vin was just inside the door, head down, hands clenched. Trying so hard to maintain his emotional balance he was shaking.

"What ain't fair son?"

Vin looked up, froze, wanted to run. But it came out anyway.

"I was a good kid."

Josiah got to his feet, as he silently thanked God that Vin had come to him, and prayed for the right words to help him. "Yes, you were." Vin was a good man, he was probably a good kid too.

"Then how come I got the life I did? How come those kids -" Vin pointed in the direction he'd left the O'Brien's. "What right have they got? Orphans. Ain't no kin to nobody - how come they got a family that cares about 'em and ain't never mean to 'em? I was a good kid...she said I was..." Behind him the front door had swung open again.

"Your Ma said..." It wasn't a question.

"She said I was." Vin said it as though someone was disputing it. "I remember her saying it..." He looked to Josiah to confirm it. He wanted somebody else to believe him. "I was a good kid..."

Josiah took one or two steps toward Vin, watching his reaction to see if he might be about to bolt. He held his hand out. "Why don't you come here and sit down Vin? You're carrying an awful burden...maybe we can sort it out..." Vin considered it. He dried his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Maybe..."

M7*M7*M7

Outside on the steps, Chris heard the conversation. He told himself he was relieved that Vin had found someone he would talk to, and he turned back to retrieve the book he'd left on the saloon porch. He found Buck and JD there, with the book and the mug, trying to figure out where the pair might have gone. The O'Brien's were nowhere around.

"Chris - where's Vin?" Buck asked. "When Nathan came back, he said Vin was sleepin' here..."

"Is he all right?" JD asked.

"He's down with Josiah, I think maybe Josiah found a way to get him to talk."

"Is it his Ma?" Buck asked, obviously with the same thought Chris'd had just a few moments before...'he set on joining her?'

"No, I don't think so..." Chris took the book from Buck and was intending to head back to Josiah's and wait nearby. He didn't want to tell Buck and JD that Vin sounded angry that the O'Brien's took in the orphans. That made Vin seem cruel. But they wanted to know.

"Then what is it?" Buck kept on.

"When he was a kid, I guess. Sayin' it ain't fair the life he got."

"Sure." JD saw the connection immediately. "Seeing all those kids with the O'Brien's, that's gotta make think on his own life. I'd be feeling mighty cross myself right now if I'da had his growin' up..."

"Yeah, but that's over now." Buck said. "Maybe he didn't have no decent family growin' up, but hell, we're his family now. He sees that, don't he?" Both Chris and JD knew that Buck loved greatly and easily, fought hard, forgave fast, and would hold onto a friendship even through years of separation and a mountain of cross words.

"He might see it Buck..." Chris said. "Don't mean he understands it."

"Even if he does understand it..." JD offered. "If all I knew about family was gettin' hit and yelled at and being miserable all the time, I wouldn't want to be part of anybody else's family. Reckon I'd be afraid of it." The two older man stared at JD, surprised that he seemed to have hit on it exactly.

"You know somethin' boy..." Buck pointed at him. "Sometimes you are just too smart for your own damn good..."

M7*M7*M7

Josiah gave Vin a glass of water, then leaned against the pew across the aisle from him, arms folded, watching. Like before, Vin drank this water down in a few swallows.

"Thanks. throat's been kinda scratchy..." as though that might be the only reason he was thirsty. Now that he was calm, and had regained his composure, Vin was sorry he'd said anything to Josiah. He set the glass on the pew next to himself. "Should be goin'..." Josiah crossed the aisle in a stride, his firm hand kept Vin in his seat.

"You hold on there son...I'm figurin' there's words in you need speakin' and I aim to hear every last one of 'em...."

Vin turned his head a little to the open door. He was sure Chris was following him, where was he now? Vin almost laughed at himself. First you tell him to leave you be, then you get mad 'cause he does. Make up your mind.

"Vin?" and Vin looked up at him.

"Gotta go, Josiah. Words I got 'a been sittin' there quite a spell. Reckon they'll keep...thanks for the water…sorry I bothered you." And he stood up and almost frantically pushed past the preacher, heading for the door and away. Anywhere, just away.

"Vin. " The tone alone made him stop and look back. Josiah walked up to him and would've put a hand on his shoulder, but Vin pulled away and Josiah put his hand down. "You need me - you find me. Anytime, anywhere. All right?"

"Yeah..." and he was out the door. Josiah watched him slouch down the boardwalk, still carrying that burden.

"Good Lord don't like a liar, son." He said to Vin's back.

tbc