Vin saw Chris, Buck and JD talking in front of the saloon, and he turned down an alley before they saw him. He made his way around the back of the buildings toward the livery. His hands were still cold and he wanted to get his gloves, and maybe he had something in his saddle bags that would ease the scratch in his throat. He was almost to a spot just across the street from the stable and he made his way through another alley.

"Hey Vin!" he heard JD call him, just as he cleared the boardwalk. He cursed under his breath. Today, right now, nothing was going to set well with him.

"What?" Vin demanded as JD walked up to him.

"Thought you were at Josiah's?" JD wasn't put off by Vin's tone. But when Vin didn't answer the question, he changed tack. "You eat yet? Get's real crowded at the boardinghouse this time of day...I got some food 'n stuff in the office..." he pointed a couple of doors down to the Sheriff's office. "I thought, I was hopin' maybe you'd join me..." Vin's agitation cooled a bit; he knew JD was only trying to help him feel better.

"Naah, thanks. Gotta check my gear." He nodded toward the livery.

"Well, that ain't gonna take long..." JD pressed.

"I just got things I need to do - don't know how long it'll take...'preciate the offer JD. I just - - got things I need to do." Vin's prickliness was rising again. JD should just take the hint and back off.

"But -" But Vin had had enough.

"JD - will you just leave me be?" Even as he took his frustrations out on the kid, Vin knew JD didn't deserve it. "I said I ain't got time. Sometimes a man just 'druther be by hisself. You'd know that, you ever cut them damn apron strings." He gestured down the street to Buck, who was near enough to hear Vin's raised voice, and started toward them. "Y'know not everybody's got some damn mother hen lookin' out for 'em all the time. Some people's just gotta get by on their own..."

Buck got there just after Vin stormed off to the livery. "What the hell was that all about?" He demanded of JD. "What was he yellin' at you for?" JD stared after Vin. Many things came together in his mind as he sorted out the day's events.

"Don't matter Buck. C'mon, got some food at the office. C'mon 'n join me." He started to walk that way, but Buck held him back.

"What d'you mean, it don't matter. What call does he got to be yellin' at you like that? Just 'cause he ain't been chipper lately don't give him leave to be takin' it out on other folk."

It was so clear to JD, he couldn't believe that Buck didn't see it. "He's jealous. Vin's jealous of me having you to look out for me. C'mon, let's go eat." JD started down the boardwalk and Buck followed. "I mean, think about it. Vin ain't all that older 'n me. But ever since he was a kid, ever since he was Bart's age, he's been on his own. You're the one told me about his stepfather and how he hurt him... imagine bein' five or ten - imagine bein' as old as Vin is right now and no matter how sick or hurt or scared y'are, havin' nobody to turn to, nobody to depend on. Seein' other folk's got what you want but ain't never had. It's hard. Trust me, I know."

They went into the jail and sat at the desk to eat.

"Still don't give him no call to be takin' it out on you." Buck persisted. But everything seemed perfectly clear to JD.

"Buck, you ever see Vin without his hat and coat on?"

"No..." Wondering where this was going.

"Y'ever been in his room at the boardinghouse? He got anything personal in there? Pictures, books, clothes even?"

"No..."

"You know, he's at the livery stable right now, checking his gear in his saddlebags. Makin' sure everything's ready just in case. When he gets his clothes back from the laundress, he puts 'em right in his saddlebags. Don't keep 'em in his room. Don't you see? Vin ain't never ready to not move on. He could get on his horse right now and ride away, and not leave one thing behind. Except now, he's seen the kids and maybe he realizes finally that we are his family and he can rely on us. Only he's been so spooked by what's happened to him before that he's trying to push us away before we can push him away...y' see what I mean? He wants so bad to have somebody fuss over him only he can't let anybody know how bad he wants it."

"He's got Chris..." Buck tried but knew the argument even before JD gave him a look. "All right, Chris ain't the most cuddly fella in the territory, but he does take quite a bit of care of Vin, whether Vin wants him to - or even knows he'd doing it."

"Yeah, but not little things Buck. Sure he's there for gunshot wounds and bounty hunters, but think about it. Vin don't like going to Nathan even when he's hurt real bad. So he's got nobody he tells about blisters and splinters, and maybe he hasn't been sleeping 'cause it's cold and he doesn't have enough blankets - who's he gonna tell that to? You see him telling Chris that?"

But Buck was in no way convinced. "Hell, Vin don't want that kind of fussin' - nobody does."

JD sighed and went to tack a wanted poster up on the wall. After a couple of swipes with the hammer, it dropped and he gave a yelp of pain as he shook his hand out. Buck was at his side in an instant.

"Let me see - what'd you do this time - I told you -" He grabbed the kid's hand and turned it over several times looking for the damage before he realized he was being snookered.

"Damn it JD -" He looked honestly angry and jabbed his finger at JD's chest. "Sometimes you are too damn smart for my own good!" Then he gave him a friendly shove and turned to make his way to the livery stable.

M7*M7*M7

After Buck and JD left him, Chris walked to the church. He'd intended to stay outside, within sight of the door, but he heard hammering and went in. Josiah was by himself, nailing in a new window frame.

"Vin ain't here?" Chris asked, even though it was mighty obvious.

"Nope, he was here. Thought I might get him to talk to me, he started to. But once he had the chance to get his wits together, he closed right up on himself again."

"Did you see which way he headed?"

"Towards the saloon, towards the other end of town."

Chris shook his head. "I just came that way, I didn't see him."

"Well, when that man don't want to get found, he don't get found." Josiah hammered a few more times on the window frame, then paused. "He's carrying around an old, deep pain Chris. I thought talkin' would be the way to bring it out of him, but I ain't so sure now. It's almost like an infection or a fever and the only thing you can do is watch him and wait for it to work itself out."

"How do you watch a man who don't want to be found?" Chris asked. He didn't expect there was an answer.

"I recommend you watch him very closely."

M7*M7*M7Buck looked through the open door of the livery stable. Sure enough, there was Vin, going through his saddlebags. Looking every bit like he was getting ready for a journey. Buck had something in mind he thought sounded good, and he went in to Vin.

M7*M7*M7

Vin wasn't surprised that Buck had followed him, just that it'd taken him so long. He expected Buck to tear into him for tearing into JD, he prepared himself for a powerful loud lecture on the entire subject of how to treat JD, with a few side trips into Vin's own behavior this past week. And Vin knew that he wouldn't be able to stand it. He wouldn't be able to stand one more person speaking up for somebody they weren't even kin to. He knew he shouldn't have yelled at JD - he didn't want to spend the next fifteen minutes being told that exact thing.

So, he was even more surprised when Buck stopped a few feet from him and spoke very calmly, even friendly.

"Hey Vin. ..JD and me is going fishing, spend a night out in the woods. Y'know, get the dust blown off us. I'se wonderin' if you'd come with. It's gonna be a heap of fun."

If he'd said that Ezra had just sworn off gambling for good, Buck didn't think he could get a more disbelieving look than the one Vin turned on him. And it hit Buck for the very first time - Vin couldn't hardly be any older than JD. Not more'n a few years.

"You want me to go with?" Vin had to make sure he'd heard right. He'd just been mean to JD, and here was Buck, asking him to go along fishing and camping out a couple nights. If Vin thought it was a strange day before, it just got stranger. "Naah, I think I'll stay around town..." He turned back to his saddlebags.

"You're sure?" Buck asked, and Vin nodded. "All right, you don't know what you're missin'..." Buck turned to walk out again, trying to think of some other way to help Vin, and Vin watched him start to leave, feeling there was a Buck here that he was throwing away with both hands.

"You really want me to go with?" and Buck turned, a genuinely pleased smile on his face.

"Hell yeah. Won't be no fun without you."

"Well..." Vin didn't know if it would be polite to invite someone himself. "...Chris?"

And Buck's smile grew. "You want to ask him or should I?"

M7*M7*M7

Chris walked out of the saloon. He was looking for Vin and he'd find him if he had to search every building in town. But there he was, leaning against the same upright post Chris had leaned against early this morning. Vin looked sheepish, but managed to briefly meet Chris' eyes.

"Hey cowboy...buy you some dinner?"

tbc