Vin didn't feel the six pairs of eyes on him as he saddled his horse, and he wouldn't have cared if he did. He felt better than he had in over a week. He told himself he shoulda just gone back out on his own when he was feeling blue, that's all he probably needed anyway. Just feeling cooped up was all. He felt foolish for not recognizing it before and tried to keep his enthusiasm hidden now, but he was anxious to be on his way.
Nathan, Josiah and Ezra saw the four men off. Vin was still pale and exhausted, but had a little of his old spark in him when he smiled goodbye to his friends and touched his hat as he rode off. Still, the three friends standing on the boardwalk saw something else.
"He don't look just right." Nathan said.
"Something's brewing inside of him." Josiah agreed.
Ezra realized they were each talking about a different concern, one physical, one spiritual. He knew they were both right, but he said
"I do believe this little excursion will do more for Vin's state of mind and state of health than all the ditch water and conversation we have at our disposal..."
Still, they all watched till the four men rode out of their sight.
M7*M7*M7
"This is near where Daniel fell in." Vin said as they stopped alongside the stream. There wasn't much energy to his voice, but at least he was talking.
"You walk on the water to rescue him, like Abby says?" Buck teased and Vin managed to smile, his second that day. His second that week.
"Naah, Will got him. I'se camped over nearby though, it's a good spot, if y'all want to stop there."
They got to the site and started to make camp, dismounting and taking the saddles off their horses. Buck had his saddle in his arms and was turning to set it down when he saw Vin flinch and grip his hand. The thought briefly crossed Buck's mind as he set his saddle near the campfire - must've caught his hand on the cinch...
Then as he straightened, he saw JD looking up and listening solemnly to something Chris was telling him, and it hit Buck, and he went to Vin.
"You okay?"
"Yeah." Vin shook his hand out and pulled his gloves off.
"Let me see." Buck took his hand without waiting permission. A wide red scrape went up the side. Vin was going to pull away, but for the first time in over a week, he felt warmth in his hand. "It ain't bad." Buck said. "Didn't break the skin. But Lord Vin, your hands are cold." He proceeded to rub Vin's hands between his own. Now Vin pulled back.
"It's okay."
"Pipe down kid and let me do this." Buck took his hands again and chafed them red, but still not warm. The day and the air around them was warm, how could Vin be so cold? "Damn, how long they been this way?"
"Few days, since the rain - and I ain't no kid." Vin said, for not the first time in his life
Buck looked up, mocking annoyance. "As long as you're younger than me, you're a kid...here, put my gloves on while I get your saddle." He pulled thick, warm gloves out of his pocket and deposited them in Vin's cold hands.
"I can do it." Vin insisted.
"Not with them hands you can't. You do what I tell you now, put them shearling gloves on, and if you're real good, I'll tell you some ghost stories around the campfire tonight. How 'bout that?" He smiled at Vin - this was fun, seeing Vin for his age and his size, instead of his experience. But Vin stared back at him, completely baffled.
"What the hell are you talking about Buck?"
Buck heaved a sigh. "Just put the gloves on and I'll get your saddle off, okay? Your hands are too cold, you'll really hurt yourself if you try again."
A moment's hesitation, then the too-big gloves went on the too-cold hands. "Thanks Buck."
When the horses were unsaddled, JD led them down to the stream to drink. Vin followed after him and hunkered down next to him on the shoreline. "I'm sorry JD, barkin' at you like that before...I didn't mean it..." But he had meant it. "...anyway, I don't mean it now."
"It's okay Vin. I know you got a lot on your mind lately...your hands cold?" JD nodded at Buck's gloves.
"Yeah, it happens sometimes. The gloves help...I am sorry JD. You never done anything to me and I had no right - - what I said - -" It hurt, remembering what he'd said to JD, but what stung worse was the reason behind him saying it.
"I don't feel good." The little boy with the scratchy throat and the cold hands said.
"So?" His grandmother snapped at him.
It wasn't fair.
"Vin?" JD's voice brought him back.
"What?"
"Said I'll help you with your bedroll if your hands are too cold...those gloves don't look like they'll be much help to you doing that."
"Naah, thanks JD." Vin said automatically. "I can do it."
"Vin - I hate to be the one to say this -" Buck looked on as Vin rolled out his bedding. "That ain't no blanket son, that there's a sieve."
Vin shook his head.
"It keeps me warm, that's all I need."
Chris watched the two of them. He'd never seen Buck hover over anybody but JD. He wondered what was going on, but he decided to watch a little while longer. Vin seemed happier than he had in a week and Chris didn't want to risk shattering that.
M7*M7*M7Later that afternoon, Vin went to sleep with his hands tucked inside his shirt against his skin to keep them warm. He woke up once in the middle of the night and turned to find a more comfortable position. He felt more than just his blanket over him - by the moonlight and fading campfire light, he saw that Buck's coat was thrown over him over the blanket. Still baffled, but not as cold as he was, Vin laughed quietly and went back to sleep.
M7*M7*M7
Buck checked his pocket watch. "He's been asleep near 12 hours...that's a blessing at least."
"Yep." Chris took a long sip of his coffee. They sat across the low fire from where Vin still slept, under four blankets and one coat. JD was off gathering more wood for the fire.
"Reckon we should wake him up and feed him?"
"Better we let him sleep I think...let him wake up on his own."
"Yeah..." A few minutes passed. They drank their coffee and tried to keep quiet so they wouldn't disturb Vin. Finally, Buck asked "What d'you think is goin' on with him? You think it's like JD says - he's afraid of lettin' himself feel part of us?"
"Hard to say, Buck. Vin don't let on much."
"Ha, like somebody else I know..." Buck laughed quietly, and Chris shot him a look. But he knew Buck was right.
"Just a lotta pain in the world to go around." Chris considered his sleeping friend. "Some folks get a bigger share."
M7*M7*M7
Vin didn't know how long he'd been awake when he became aware of voices near him. He tracked his brain, trying to remember where he was and why, and what might be going on. Fishing, he remembered that. They were out at his campsite to go fishing. He remembered eating supper the night before, then falling asleep while it was still daylight. It was daylight now, he wondered how long he'd been sleeping. He wondered if he even wanted to wake up, he was so warm and comfortable where he was.
"I'll keep an eye on him." Vin heard JD say. Chris and Buck must be going somewhere.
"Let him sleep." Chris said. It sounded like a warning.
"I know." When the footsteps through the underbrush finally faded away, JD muttered to himself: "Think I don't know? 'Let him sleep'." He mimicked Chris. He jumped when Vin turned over.
"Y'sound just like him." His voice was raspy and his throat till scratched.
"Vin -" JD was embarrassed to be overheard mocking Chris. "Didn't mean to wake you..."
"Naah. I'se awake already." Vin pushed himself up to sitting. He was surprised at all the coverings over him. "Didn't none of y'ever hear of taking care of your own bedroll?" He pushed the blankets back - Buck had taken his coat with - and pulled his knees up to rest his arms on. "JD, got any water? I'm kinda thirsty."
"Sure." the kid brought over his own canteen. "I'll getcha something to eat too."
"Thanks." Vin drank most of the water, and felt bad for doing it. He didn't know why he was so thirsty. "What time is it, about?"
"...after seven I reckon...you slept a good long while...y'feeling any better?"
"Yeah." No. "Where'd they go?"
"Fishin'..." JD handed him the food. Vin sure didn't look like he felt any better.
"Fishin'? Together?" Vin shook his head. "Y'just might want to keep an ear open for gunfire there, JD. Ain't known those two to spend more'n three minutes together without comin' close to a dust up."
M7*M7*M7
Chris and Buck weren't fishing, though they had the poles with them. For awhile they just sat, watching the stream whirl and flow past them.
"I miss this." Buck said. "Just sittin' out. The two of us. Nothing much goin' on. Fishin' or not. Just spending time." He wasn't sure what Chris' reaction would be. "I've missed it."
Chris chewed his lip and nodded. "I have too." he said simply.
Behind them they heard JD and Vin approaching. "Hey, you fellas ain't fishin'?" JD asked.
"Well, y'know kid, y'just can't jump into something like this." Buck took great pains to describe. "Fishin' is truly a delicate matter. The fish know we're out here and if we go after 'em straight away, why they'll just plum know what we're up to and..." his voice trailed off as JD rolled his eyes and walked downstream away from him. "How're you doin'?" He asked Vin.
"Fine." Vin told him, but he had an uneasy look on his face. "Think I'll go down, see what JD's doin'." He knew he didn't look all that well, and he was afraid Buck would push for more answers.
"Keep him outta trouble." Chris said and smiled. His remark made Vin feel a little less flustered.
"Hell, y'know it takes all six of us to do that Chris..." Then he wandered down the shoreline to where JD sat on a large rock, taking off his boots. "What're you doing JD?"
"Goin' in looking for fossils. They ain't fishin' so we don't gotta worry about scarin' the fish...c'mon and help me."
"Naah, I'll stay here JD. Gettin' soaked all over ain't my idea of fun first thing in the morning."
"Oh - c'mon Vin. It'll be fun."
And there was that feeling again, cutting through Vin. The feeling that here was a chance he might be about to throw away. "Okay."
M7*M7*M7
Buck was just telling another story of feminine conquest to Chris who was just as determinedly saying he didn't need to hear it, when Buck stopped talking and stared down the creek like he was having a vision.
"What is it?" Chris turned to look that way, wondering what demon must be bearing down on them. Then he saw it too, not twenty yards away, and was just as dumbfounded. Vin and JD, both barefoot, hats and coats tossed on the shore, pants legs rolled up, were wading into the stream. JD pulled a large chunk of rock out of the water and showed something on it to Vin. Talking about fossils and some museum back East.
JD turned, lost his footing, and went down. Vin moved to catch him and went down with him. The water was deep enough to go under and Chris and Buck were both on their feet in a motion, but Vin and JD reappeared and helped each other to their feet, both laughing. Chris and Buck sat down again, shaking their heads at their friends. They watched them for awhile. JD was actually getting Vin to loosen up and have fun, splashing and laughing in the creek. Even Chris seemed more relaxed as he put his worry about Vin aside.
"Do we go back to town now and look for the real Vin, or do we give this one a chance?" He asked Buck, motioning to the 'kids', both completely dripping wet, but laughing. "I don't know what you're doing -"
"Ain't me." Buck admitted quickly. "Not really. It was JD telling me something about - he thought Vin maybe could use a friend he could get silly with -" He looked back out to the creek where Vin had JD by the belt loops and was attempting to put pebbles down his shirt. "- and a friend who'd take care of him even when he pushed 'em away. Said I should remember that Vin ain't much older'n him and I should try to treat him the way I treat JD. So, that's what I been doing. It felt strange at first, but now it's actually kinda fun, see all the faces Vin makes, trying to figure out just what I'm up to."
They watched the 'kids' a while longer. Chris said. "You remember being that age Buck?"
Buck almost choked. "Hell Chris. I ain't never gonna be as old as Vin, and you ain't never been as young as JD..."
tbc