A/N: This part might be completely tasteless or just stupid. I'm not sure. I meant it to be funny, but I have a strange sense of humor. I hope no one is offended. Keep in mind that Justin hasn't been on Liberty Avenue much, so he isn't used to the gang's brutal honesty and openness about sex.

Brian and Justin had knocked on the door and now stood on Deb's porch waiting somewhat uncomfortably. Justin tried to appear calm, but he was extremely tense. Brian wasn't nervous, but he'd rather be doing just about anything else. Brian unconsciously placed his hand on the small of Justin's back, and, in response to the man's gentle touch, Justin released a breath he was unaware he'd been holding. Suddenly, the door whipped open, and a woman with red curly hair, who stood about an inch or two shorter than Justin, emerged.

Deb smiled broadly and cried, "Well, get in here! Brian, who's the cute blond?"

Justin's eyes widened. He surmised that this was Deb, Brian's surrogate mother, but she was very different from the quiet and polite yet often judgmental country club mothers to which he was accustomed. Deb was outspoken, effusive, and drowning in bright colors, quite a change from the country club set's pastels and beiges. She hugged Brian, patted Justin on the shoulder, and, then, spun him around, as she checked him out in an unmotherly way.

"What do you think?" she shouted.

Justin glanced in the direction she was looking and saw a large audience, hooting and hollering, as though in response to her question.

"Do we like the goods? Pretty blond hair, a bubble butt, and, ooo, a nice-sized package!"

Justin was horrified by her comments and the audience's reaction. When he looked down, he was even more horrified to realize that he was wearing nothing but a black leather thong. "What the fuck?" he thought. "I must have taken Brian's comment about his family and friends needing to be on the Jerry Springer Show too seriously."

Deb asked Brian, "So who is he? You fucked him yet?"

Justin observed Deb's bright smile and amused eyes and Brian's smirk. Brian was smiling, but Justin could see annoyance in his eyes. Justin looked down at himself and back at the room where he'd seen the audience. The world had righted itself. He was again dressed in black jeans and a light-weight royal blue sweater, and the audience had disappeared. Instead, he saw a sandy-haired man in pink ("Must be Emmett," Justin thought) and a dark-haired man in a white long-sleeved shirt and navy blue dress pants sitting together ("Ted, maybe?"), two women, a blonde and a brunette standing together whispering, ("Lindsay and Mel"), as well as an older red-haired man ("Definitely Vic") and a dark-haired man in jeans and a Superman t-shirt ("Michael?") walking out of the kitchen toward the front door.

The sandy-haired man and the older man joined in the appraisal.

"Blondie's definitely a tasty little morsel."

"Looks young, but, then, that's the way I like them," Vic said as he patted the boy's ass.

Brian wondered what Justin could possibly be thinking about his family and friends. Deb was spinning him around, eying him as though he were a piece of meat, Emmett was smacking his lips like he wanted to eat him up (translation, blow him), Vic was patting his ass, obviously wanting to fuck him, Ted was still seated, but his eyes brightened as he openly ogled him, thinking God only knows what, Lindsay and Mel were observing him with suspicion and near contempt, and Mikey was plainly glaring at him. Suddenly thinking back to Justin calling Brian his babydaddy and the idea of taking the gang on the Jerry Springer Show, Brian imagined himself slapping hands away, putting one arm over Justin's shoulder and the other around his waist, and pulling the boy against him as he yelled, "Back the fuck off, bitches! This man is mine!"

Brian laughed at the thought. He was shaken from his brief, and strange, fantasy by Justin's touch. The boy placed his hand on the arm Brian had wrapped around the boy's shoulder. Shit, had he yelled, too? He looked around. No shocked faces. He must have silently, and unconsciously, pulled the boy into his arms.

Brian didn't yell, but he did say, in a firm voice that the entire bunch could hear, "Settle down people. Look all you want but no touching. The boy is mine."

He kissed Justin's neck and navigated him toward the couch, pulling him sideways onto his lap and wrapping his arms around the boy's waist.

That shut everyone up…for about a minute. Soon, Michael was demanding an explanation.

Justin turned to look at the person who was speaking, and his eyes widened in shock when he saw the dark-haired man, formerly wearing jeans and a Superman t-shirt, clad in a pink bathrobe and matching pink curlers, holding a rolling pin. The audience was back.

"The doctor said I'd have mood swings, not hallucinations," Justin thought.

"That twink is obviously just a piece of ass. One of a million nameless, faceless tricks. At the end of the day, I'll be the one carrying Brian's drunk ass home. I'm the one he cares about!"

The audience members rallied behind the man Justin assumed was Michael, yelling, "Slut," "Bimbo," and "Home wrecker."

Justin shook his head. Michael was standing in front of them, complaining loudly and gesticulating, but again dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. As before, the audience vanished.

Michael was livid, mostly because he'd recognized Justin. He remembered Brian spending a few nights last month dancing with the blond, and only the blond. He came and left with the boy all four times and ignored him, Emmett, and Ted each time.

"He's obviously just a trick. Why the fuck did you bring him to a family dinner anyway? You should have just fucked him in an alley and left him there."

Brian growled, "Mikey" in warning, but he continued, "You should never bring tricks to Ma's house! Did you take some bad E?"

Suddenly, Mel and Lindsay decided to weigh in.

Justin looked over at the couple in surprise. The blonde was wearing a black jean miniskirt and a red halter top with bright red lips to match, and Mel was dressed all in black leather and chains.

Lindsay clucked her tongue in disapproval. "Brian, he's just a kid." Did she really have her hand on her hip and a lollypop in her mouth or was he imagining that, too?

Mel hissed, "Is he even legal? Or have you become a pedophile now, too?" as she flipped a butterfly knife open.

The audience, back again, was booing and shouting, "Send him home to momma!" and "You should be in jail, pervert!"

Justin shook his head in an effort to clear it of the strange visions. That did the trick. Lindsay was again dressed in a red blouse and a long black skirt, and Mel was weaponless, clad in a black t-shirt and blue jeans. The audience was nowhere to be seen.

Justin's hormones were wreaking havoc on his emotional stability. Half of him wanted to scream, and the other wanted to cry, but his country club manners rode in to save the day.

He stood up slowly and said coolly, "I am neither a piece of meat nor a trick, and Brian's not a pedophile. Thanks so much for your hospitality, but I've lost my appetite." He started walking toward the door but, then, stopped as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Brian saw all the color leave Justin's face and leapt off the couch, and, none too soon, as Justin was falling to the floor. He managed to catch him, but just barely.

Michael sneered, "What is he drunk?"

Brian glared at his friend and snarled, "No, he's my pregnant boyfriend. Show some fucking respect!"

Everyone gaped as Brian carried Justin upstairs and laid him gently on Michael's bed.

When Brian returned to the living room, Michael looked distraught; Lindsay, livid; and the rest, confused.

Concern for Brian evident in his voice, Michael asked, "So did he get pregnant to trap you into a relationship?"

Brian's face betrayed no emotion. He answered flatly, "No. It was my condom. Justin had never been to the loft before, and I put it on myself. No trickery involved. They are only 98% effective, you know."

Lindsay's face red in anger, she asked, "So you wouldn't donate sperm for us, but you'd impregnate a kid you don't even know?"

"I didn't do it on purpose, though I'm not unhappy about the pregnancy. A little freaked out, yes, but I wanted to have at least one child someday, and Justin may be young, but he's legal. He graduated high school already, he has a full-time job, and he'll be starting at PIFA in the fall."

Michael scoffed, "Does he still live with mommy and daddy?"

"He doesn't live with his parents. Actually, he and I are living together."

Everyone cried out in unison, "What??"

Brian responded in an even voice, "I liked him, and it seemed like a good arrangement. He's a fabulous little homemaker and a wildcat in the sack. He's hot, intelligent, and talented. Why wouldn't I want him around?"

Michael sputtered, "Uh, maybe because you don't do boyfriends."

"Yeah, that was the old me. The new me does and is doing Justin." Brian shot Michael a tongue-in-cheek expression.

Michael inquired in exasperation, "What, so you don't trick anymore?"

Brian just smirked. "Nope. It's only been a week, but it's working out pretty well. Justin's been even friskier, and you should have seen him before." He looked up and saw Justin padding slowly down the stairs. He smiled and continued, "He's got more energy than the energizer bunny. Don't you, dear?" He said the last part in a falsetto.

Justin blushed.

Brian walked over to the blond and ran his fingers through his hair as he asked, "Isn't he adorable when he blushes?"

Ted deadpanned, "We're all doomed. Brian's being in a monogamous relationship is a sign of the apocalypse, isn't it?"

Emmett, Vic, and Deb laughed, and Justin and Brian smiled, but Michael scowled, Lindsay pouted, and Mel scoffed.

Deb decided that she needed to make the boy feel more at home. She approached Justin and looked at him sympathetically.

"We're a little hard to take at first, but we grow on you. Here, honey, sit back down on the couch."

Justin flashed her a soft smile.

She walked him over and sat beside him. "So have you had many fainting spells since you've been pregnant?"

Justin replied hesitantly, "No. This is only the second time."

Deb asked, "How far along are you?"

Brian sat on the couch next to Justin, slid the boy onto his lap, and started rubbing small circles on his back.

The boy answered, "This is the sixth week."

Vic piped up, "So you're still in the morning sickness and weird craving period?"

Justin laughed and said, "Yeah."

Vic offered, "Well, if you're ever here when you have a craving, just let me know. I'm a chef, and Deb and I usually stock all manner of sweet and salty foods…pickles, olives, ice cream, chocolate, fruit…you name it, we probably have it. In fact, Deb and I can start bringing food over, maybe save Brian a midnight trip to the store."

Brian groaned, "Oh great. As if Sunshine doesn't already have the fridge and all the cupboards filled to the brim with fattening food!"

Deb asked, "Sunshine?"

Brian replied cheekily, "Haven't you seen my babymomma smile? He lights up the fricken room."

Emmett repeated incredulously, "Babymomma?"

Justin turned three shades of red, as Brian chuckled and asked, "Well, he started calling me his babydaddy…so that should make him my babymomma, right?"

That had Deb, Vic, Ted, and Emmett laughing so hard that they were brushing tears out of their eyes.

Lindsay frowned, and Michael rolled his eyes.

Justin decided that he liked Brian's friends and family. Well, most of them.

A/N: I hope you weren't offended by Brian calling Justin his babymomma. Brian doesn't see Justin as overly feminine, and I certainly do not mean to depict Justin as being like a woman (I think all people have feminine and masculine characteristics, though in different proportions, but Brian sees Justin as a man). It was just a joke, and I hope you take it that way.