My apologies for taking so long to update. The holidays are always sort of chaotic and I don't get the quiet time I need to write.

Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts for the last chapter even though I know you must have been as stressed as I was.

Your reviews keep encouraging me to continue this, so please keep them coming, you have no idea what they mean to me. I'm the first one to admit I'm a review whore…

A special Thank You to Stayce for the friendship, help, and inspiration she gives daily.

Disclaimer: Most characters are borrowed from JE, any similarities with living persons is coincidental, and the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Keep the Faith

Chapter 26

By the time we got back to RangeMan, I had a hard time remembering what I'd been mad about. He had followed me, okay, but he hadn't rushed into my parents' house, dragging me kicking and screaming back to Haywood Street. He hadn't even asked me to come with him, it had just sort of happened.

Ranger's hand had been on my thigh the whole time, wandering up and down and between my legs at times, setting my skin on fire.

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind us, Ranger pinned me against the wall and crushed his lips to mine. I gasped at the sensation of his hard muscles against my body and his tongue against mine.

I barely noticed when Ranger nudged me out of the elevator, never breaking the kiss. He slid his hands around my hips and cupped my ass, and when he lifted me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist.

And his phone chirped. "Don't answer that," I said, nipping his earlobe, but I knew he would.

Just a couple days ago, he had thrown his phone across the room when it interrupted us, and that hadn't been the first time. I knew I came first with Ranger, but RangeMan was, after all, his livelihood and his responsibility.

He touched my forehead with his and did an almost sigh. "Rain check," he said a little huskily as he slid me down the front of his body and grabbed his phone off his belt, "Talk."

His right arm was still around me, holding me to him, and I snuggled into his shoulder as I tried to calm my breathing.

He cut his eyes to me while he listened to the caller. "Call Austen," he instructed and disconnected.

Darren Austen was one of RangeMan's lawyers. He was usually called for criminal charges, as opposed to contracts or employment matters.

I swallowed. I knew it could be a number of things, but I'd seen Ranger's blank face slide into place. "What is it?" I forced myself to ask.

Ranger released me and unlocked his front door. "Hartung was offered a deal," he said tonelessly as he tossed his keys into the dish on the sideboard. "He'll walk if he can ID Guzzarella's killer."

"And can he?" I asked, meaning can he honestly. I already knew he couldn't claim to be an eye witness because he'd been in RangeMan custody when Guzzarella was killed. Except he was held sort of illegally.

"We can't really say he was here if he claims to have been at the murder scene, can we?" I asked, stepping closer to Ranger and wrapping my arms around his waist.

Ranger put his finger under my chin and tipped my face up. "You honestly think I care if they charge me with kidnapping if it means I get you off the hook?"
"When you put it that way…no." I smiled.

"Plus there's still hope Hartung will finger the actual killer," Ranger pointed out."But it can't hurt for Austen to be on stand-by."

"You think Hartung will tell the truth after we held him here for days?"

Ranger moved one of his shoulders a quarter of an inch. The equivalent of a two-shoulder shrug in any other guy. "Anything's possible."

But not very likely. We'd held Hartung for days and he'd refused to speak English or know anything about anything, even after Hector tried his special methods of persuasion.

But still, even if he came right out and told the cops I shot Guzzarella, I had the home field advantage, I knew most of the cops on the Trenton police force, either in person or by name.

"I need to finish making those phone calls," I said, my hand already diving into my shoulder bag.

"Okay," Ranger said. "I need to check with Tank downstairs. If I ask you to stay here, will you stay?"

I looked up from the number pad on my phone. Ranger wasn't kidding. "If you say please," I said, trying to lighten the mood.

He blew out some air and gathered me into his arms. "Please," he whispered close to my ear. His breath moved my hair against my neck and I shivered at the sensation.

"Okay," I managed, clearing my throat.

"I'll call you as soon as I know anything," he said and kissed my earlobe before he pulled back and left.

I was still standing in the foyer, looking at the door Ranger had just closed, when my phone rang in my hand and I yelped in surprise.

It was my mom. I grimaced at the readout. I knew I should answer, but I'd just left their house and she knew I was okay, so I decided it just had to wait. When the beep alerted me to the message she'd left, I remembered that I hadn't listened to my voicemail in days. Maybe one of my cop friends had called to give me the heads up?

I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and sat down at Ranger's desk with a steno pad and a pen, then I put my cell phone on speakerphone and dialed my voicemail. I groaned then the computer voice announced I had seventeen unheard messages.

An hour later I put my arms on the desk and rested my head on top of them. I'd made it. Seven of the messages had actually been important, the rest had been calls from my mother, my grandmother and people who wanted me to pay their bills.

Eddie Gazarra wanted me to call him back. Problem was, I didn't know if I wanted to hear what he had to say. I'm always wary when friends didn't say what they were calling about, just asking me to call back. What was so bad that Eddie couldn't tell my mailbox? Probably nothing, I was just nervous.

Lula wanted me to call her. And Vinnie had called personally to ask about my progress with my FTA and to tell me they'd be taken away from me if I didn't deliver by Wednesday. As if I didn't have enough problems already.

I emptied my water and got a beer, I needed to think. So far, no one had shown up to arrest me, right? So while it couldn't hurt to stay informed, I didn't have to fear the worst just yet.

"Oh for fuck's sake," I exclaimed and took a long pull from my beer, clutching my phone as I walked over to the couch. "Just do it!"

I took a deep breath while I waited for Eddie to pick up. Whatever it was, I told myself, I was better off knowing. Except I got Eddie's answering machine. Damn. There was no guarantee I'd have the courage to call him again later, so I told him I was returning his call and to call me as soon as possible and to leave a message with what was going on if he got my voicemail.

I disconnected and finished my beer, feeling better already. And I knew what I needed to feel even better. I needed to talk to Rex. Valerie had picked him up when I was in the hospital and Mary Alice and Angie were taking care of him, but suddenly I missed him more than I'd thought was possible. Bob was a good substitute most of the time, but he wasn't a hamster.

It may seem like denial, but I really needed Rex around to think straight. And I had to have him now.

I grabbed my keys and slung my bag over my shoulder. It wasn't too late to swing by Valerie's house, I figured. And with Rex, I might even have the guts to drive by the cop shop myself to find out if they wanted me. Maybe. Well okay, maybe I'd have the guts to call the other cops I knew for more information.

The elevator stopped on the fifth floor even though I'd pressed the button for the garage. The doors opened and Ranger stood in front of me. Ooops. I hadn't really forgotten I'd sort of kind of promised him I'd stay put, it was just a detour.

"I'll be right back," I promised and reached out for the 'close door' button.

"Remind me to send your mom some flowers," Ranger said as he slipped his hand between the closing doors and stepped into the elevator. "You must have been a terror as a kid and your mom deserves a medal."

"I'm not your kid, Ranger," I reminded him. Although normally I would have thought his comment was kind of funny, but under these circumstances, it just annoyed me.

Ranger leaned against one of the walls and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm well aware of that. Maybe I just didn't know what else to compare you to when you leave about a half hour after you promised me to stay."

I didn't want to admit that he had a point. I felt he was treating me like a child and I couldn't stand it. "Maybe I just felt like playing grown-up today and do whatever I wanted?" I challenged him, leaning against the opposite wall and crossing my arms as well. He shook his head, exasperated, as the elevator doors pinged open.

"Did you re-enable my key fob or will I have to walk again?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"I'm driving," he said curtly and left the elevator.

Now I had two choices. I could lift up my nose, stalk past him and walk the three miles to Val's house, or I could slip into the smooth leather seat of Ranger's Porsche and have him drive me. Well, I figured, just because I'd let him drive me didn't mean I had to talk to him. I could give him the silent treatment until he treated me like an adult again. Really, I was much too exhausted to walk anyway.

I sled into the passenger seat and felt Ranger's eyes on me, but I didn't turn to look at him, I just clicked my seatbelt closed and adjusted my shoulder bag on my lap.

"I'm going to Val's house, she's at…"

"I know where your sister lives," Ranger interrupted me. "Look at me, Steph."

I hated when he did that. Now I had to look at him, because if I didn't, it'd really look childish. I sighed and lifted my eyes, meeting his gaze.

He reached out and tucked a stray curl behind my ear. "I can't do this if you keep thinking I'm inconveniencing you," he said. "This is not my paranoia, Babe, we don't know who or what is out there just waiting to catch you alone."

I took deep breaths, reminding myself to stay calm. This was the perfect opportunity for screaming, but Ranger wasn't Italian enough to understand that. What were Cuban men known for? Other than Ranger I didn't know any. I made a mental note to check with my friend Luisa, she'd once mentioned to me she knew oodles of Cuban men. Now there was an image. I couldn't even handle one!

"Earth to Steph," Ranger said and took my hand, pulling me out of my musings.

"Huh?"

"Can you look me in the eye and tell me you feel perfectly safe alone?"

I rolled my eyes. "Can you?"

He didn't fall for it, his face stayed emotionless. "When was the last time I was kidnapped?" he asked and I almost expected him to stick out his tongue. Which was silly of course, it's something I would have done if I had the upper hand and knew it.

I gathered my thoughts for a moment, willing myself to stay calm. Again. "My kidnappers are in jail," I managed. "All of them. And I know you're not suggesting I hide from the cops."

Ranger cupped my face in his hand. "We don't know that yet. We're still running reports, checking sources. I'm trying to make sure they're all behind bars."

I sighed but didn't pull back. "Ranger, I appreciate it. But I'm going nuts being protected all the time. I have the tracker. I have the panic button."
Ranger scoffed. "Yeah, like yesterday," he said and touched the bandage on my head with his fingertip.

"Yeah, like yesterday. When Lester was with me," I pointed out. I raised my hand in the universal 'stop' gesture when Ranger wanted to object. "That's not Lester's fault. It's just that…well, it proves this shit can happen to me whether I'm alone or not! And since that's the case, I'd rather be alone every now and then."

He raised his other hand to cup my face with both hands, then he leaned in and brushed his lips over mine. "Why don't you just think about it as us spending more time together?" he suggested, the hint of a smile playing around his lips.

I groaned inwardly. When had I become such a brat? Here was Ranger, trying to persuade me to accept his help. Hello? Instead of being grateful he'd made my safety his priority I was whining about alone time. Mental eye roll.

"Okay," I said, not quite ready to admit I'd acted like an idiot. "We need to do more of that anyway. I wasn't thinking of it being in a car though…" I drifted off, leaning into him and kissing him with all I had.

We jerked apart when Ranger's elbow hit the horn and the loud honking filled the garage. "Not a make out car," Ranger quipped as he sank back into his seat.

"Who woulda thunk it?" I played along. "A chick magnet you can't make out in?" We laughed about that as Ranger started the car and the awkwardness was gone.

I knew Ranger had a point, there was no way of knowing if DalBo had any more accomplices. But at the same time, I had a point as well, I was in danger all the time, and he'd smother me if he wanted to protect me from every big bad wolf in Trenton.

Ranger cleared his throat and started the car. "So to Valerie's house then?"

"Please," I said and smiled innocently. "You will of course have to come in to guarantee my safety."

He groaned almost inaudibly and put the car in gear. "Let's hope the clown isn't home."

"If we miss him, he'll definitely be at my parents' tonight," I grinned.

This time, his groan was a little louder and I wondered if there was an eye roll accompanying in, but I couldn't see his eyes. He went into his zone while driving and I had a chance to make my mental to-do list.

Ranger had suggested I call all my cop contacts. I hadn't gotten further than Eddie. With a sigh, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Carl Costanza. I wasn't sure he knew more than Eddie, but I felt I had to do my part since the Merry Men were running all the searches on my behalf.

"Hey Gorgeous, you're looking for a date?" Carl greeted me and I rolled my eyes, but I still had to smile.

"Hi Carl. I'm looking for information, actually."

He sighed theatrically and I could hear the smile in his voice. "If that's what it takes to have some alone time with you…"

I love my friends. I was glad I'd had the little smile before I had to get all serious again.

"Carl, have you heard anything about the Guzzarella case?" I asked him.

"And when you say 'anything' you mean anything involving you, correct?"

My turn to sigh. "Uh-huh."

"I heard rumors that they're trying to finger you because your prints were on the gun. But they're still waiting on the autopsy report so they have an exact time of death. And they won't have that before tomorrow. So you may get a call tomorrow."

"A call?"

Carl chuckled. "Well yeah, what did you expect?"

"I…I don't know, I…just thought, they'd maybe…" I stuttered.

"You didn't think they'd want to arrest you, did you?"

I could feel Ranger's eyes on me, trying to gauge my reaction. "Well…yes. No. I don't know. I heard there was this deal…"

"No Steph," Carl assured me. "They'd have to go through a lot of friends of yours. No one would issue a warrant without solid proof. You know that. Just because he got offered a deal doesn't mean they don't triple-check everything he says. You have nothing to worry about." He took a breath. "And if I hear differently, I'll be the first to tell you about it!"

I thanked Carl and we disconnected and I sank back in my seat. "I have nothing to worry about," I whispered.

Ranger took my hand and squeezed it. "No, you don't," he confirmed.

My mood had lightened considerably when we pulled up in front of Valerie's house. Except now I was wishing I had called, the house looked awfully quiet. It was Sunday afternoon, they could be anywhere, I realized.

After I'd rung the doorbell a couple times it was confirmed. No one was home. Shit.

I pulled out my cell phone, but Ranger closed his hand over mine before I could open it. "I'm pretty sure they didn't take the little rat with them," he said on a smile and pulled a little tool out of his pocket.

Mental head slap. Of course Valerie didn't actually need to be home for me to pick up Rex if Ranger was with me! Half the time he's in my apartment he doesn't use the key, he says it takes the fun out of it.

Ranger had the front door open in a matter of seconds and I rushed by him to find my baby. I found him in Mary Alice's bedroom and wrapped my arms around his aquarium.

"Rex! My baby!" Okay, so I knew I was acting ridiculous, I couldn't help it, I was happy to see him.

Rex stopped running on his wheel and sniffed the air, probably wondering who this mad woman was. "Let's get you home and we can cuddle," I told him as I picked him up.

Ranger was in the doorway to the bedroom when I turned around. "I'll take him," he said. "You may want to leave your sister a note so she won't worry."

I handed Rex to Ranger with a grateful smile. It was so like him to think about that. I would have just taken Rex and worry about Val's or the kids' reaction later.

As Ranger left to take Rex to his car, I grabbed a pen and pad from Mary Alice's desk and scribbled a few words, thanking them for taking care of him for me and telling them he was back home with me now. Probably, they wouldn't even notice I'd taken him without having a key.

We were on our way back, I had Rex's aquarium on my lap and my arms wrapped around it, when I realized I hadn't told Ranger where I wanted to go. "Can you take me to my place?" I asked him. "I want to go home."

Ranger hesitated. "I'll let you watch me all night," I suggested and the hint of a smile played around his mouth.

"You don't think of my place as home?" he asked without taking his eyes off the road.

That seemed like an unusually emotional remark for Ranger. I hadn't thought he'd pick up on my meaning of wanting to go 'home'.

"You don't even think of it as home," I pointed out.

It was true. Time after time, Ranger had told me the RangeMan apartment was 'just a place' or 'where he sleeps' or a variation of that. He'd never called it home. Not that he'd called any other place home, like I said, too emotional for Ranger.

"I want to go home," I repeated when he didn't respond and hugged Rex's cage a little closer.

Yes, I know how stupid it is to become so attached to a hamster. I was attached to Bob as well, but not as deeply. Rex has always been the heartbeat in my house, for as long as I've had him. And for me to have some quiet time to think, I needed him around, it was as simple as that.

I hadn't been to my apartment in over a week. The mailbox in the lobby was overflowing with all the flyers and bills that had been cramped into it.

We took the elevator upstairs and still Ranger hadn't said a thing. It wasn't unusual for him to be quiet, but his remark had been, I thought.

"Do you want me to think of your apartment as home?" I asked, unable to get over it.

He looked up, his one eyebrow slightly raised. "What?"

The elevator doors pinged open and Ranger exited, motioning for me to stay behind him. I knew the drill, he was going to check my apartment. This time, I actually agreed it was warranted, since I didn't know if anyone had bothered to check in the week I hadn't been there. Rex and I stayed behind while Ranger unlocked my front door and drew his gun.

"Just like old times, huh?" I asked Rex. He'd stopped running and was hunched on his hind legs, sniffing the air excitedly. Probably he was hungry. I knew I was.

Ranger returned a minute later with an unreadable expression on his face as he closed the door behind him.

"What is it?" I wanted to know? "What's going on?" I feared the worst.

Over the last few years, I've found just about everything from flowers to body parts waiting to surprise me in my apartment. And countless visitors as well.

"Who's in there?" I asked ranger when he didn't respond.

"No one's in there," he finally said, nudging me back towards the elevator.

I stood my ground. "Then I want to go in."

Ranger shook his head slightly and put his arm around my shoulders. "Not a good idea, Babe. Someone was in there, and it's not a pretty sight."

"I'm a big girl," I said with a defiance Ranger didn't deserve. "I'm sure I can handle it."

With that, I shrugged his arm off and walked towards my door. Of course now I had the dilemma of only having two hands, both of which were wrapped around Rex's aquarium. My keys were in my purse over my shoulder, and I wasn't ready to let go of Rex.

I heard Ranger blow out a breath behind me and I could imagine the exasperated expression that went with it, then his hand sneaked by me on my left and he unlocked my door again.

"Don't say you weren't warned," he said as he pushed the door open for me.

I closed my eyes for a short prayer, then I opened them slowly. My first impression was that it could have been worse. Yes, someone had clearly gone to town on my apartment, had taken the time to take everything off the shelves and throw it onto the floor, from what it looked like, but it was still my apartment and I couldn't see any dead people.

I took a deep breath and entered, forcing my eyes straight ahead as I carried Rex's cage into the kitchen. Except there was no place to put him. They'd been as thorough with the kitchen as they'd been in the hallway. All cabinet doors and all drawers stood open and every single item had been pulled out of them and strewn across the counters and the floor.

I bit my lip, determined to stay strong. I knew I could do this, and I wanted to prove to Ranger I could.

When I really couldn't find an empty spot for the aquarium, I just pushed stuff off of the counter with the cage itself until it fit.

"Don't worry, I'll clean it up in just a bit," I told Rex, proud of the calm tone of my voice. God knows I wasn't feeling calm.

Tears started pricking my eyes and I felt the urge to scream and ask why and then have an all out breakdown of how unfair it all was and why me and all that. But I was fighting all of that, determined to 'keep it together', as Mom would have put it.

"Steph, it's gonna be okay," Ranger said from behind me and I almost jumped because I'd been concentrating so hard.

"I know," I said almost absentmindedly and started picking up shards of dishes off the counter.

"Really," Ranger insisted and took my wrist, urging me to look at him. "It's just a place."

And that was it as far as restraint went. My apartment was not just a place. That was the difference between me and Ranger in a nutshell. I had a home. And it had been violated.

I held my breath for a second, trying to count to ten, but then all my emotions bubbled to the surface at once.

"It's not just a place," I said, the tears running down my face unchecked. "It's my place! It's home!"

Ranger closed the distance between us in two strides and wrapped his arms around me. "I can fix it," I said, pressing my fists against his chest, pushing him away. "Lemme go, "I have to clean."

But his grip never loosened. And then it hit me. Literally. I felt like a huge tidal wave was crashing right above my head. I lifted my head to make eye contact with Ranger.

"This will never end, will it?" I pushed harder, trying to get away from him. "This is my life! I build it, it's destroyed. I can't love anything. It's killed as soon as I do."

I took a step back, pushing him harder than ever. "Stay away from me! What the fuck are you still doing here? Aren't you afraid I'll get you killed off too? If I love you, you'll die."

I ran my forearm over the counter by the sink, sending everything that had been dumped on it flying. "I might as well finish it for them! I won't give them the satisfaction, I'll do it myself! Get out!!"
"Steph!" Ranger said, in a voice that was as close to yelling as Ranger ever got, trying to get through to me. He took a step back to look me in the eye, holding me by my shoulders. "Stop it! Calm down! It's just. An. Apartment!"

It was no use. Thinking back to that moment, I shake my head in disbelief. I was having a full-on nervous breakdown. As much as I pulled or pushed, Ranger held on to me, refusing to let go. How he managed to stay so calm, I'll never know. But I know it saved my sanity, if not my life that day.

I must have said something in response, or rather wailed something, but I don't remember what, I just remember Ranger shaking me until my attention returned to him.

"Steph," he said again, trying to pull me closer. "It's gonna be okay. Trust me."

I knew it was nuts to think that way, but looking at my apartment in shambles around me, I couldn't help it. First Joe. Now my apartment. Ranger was the only thing left alive that I loved. He and my family.

"OH GOD!" I screamed and made a final attempt to break free. It had come so sudden, I was successful.

I stumbled backwards and tried to sidestep Ranger to get out of the kitchen. "My parents! I have to warn them!"

Now I was convinced that whoever had destroyed my apartment was on his way to my parents' house. Like I said, full-fledged breakdown.

I didn't actually see Ranger anymore, I realize now. I saw an obstacle in my way, someone who was keeping me from protecting my family. It's hard to describe. I knew it was Ranger, but I didn't.

Ranger blocked me. "I'll send a car," he said. "You can't go anywhere in your condition."

He wasn't mad; his voice wasn't even much louder than normal. And that just drove me insane. He just couldn't see what I saw, that I had to go, right that second. He became the enemy. My hand dove into my shoulder bag, producing my gun.

"Let me go," I hissed, not even registering his eyes slightly widened. "I have to save them."

"Stephanie!" Just my name, but it sounded like a warning.

"You don't want me to save them," I wailed. "You want them dead!"

Ranger's hand was a blur of motion, before I realized it, my gun was in his hand. "Sit down," he ordered, applying pressure to my shoulder so I would comply.

"I'm not your dog," I hissed, trying to turn away.

He took my face in both his hands, angling my head so I would look at him. "Listen to me," he said, his tone allowing no objection.

"Your family is okay. And you will be okay too, give yourself a minute. Sit down. Take a breath. We'll leave as soon as you can think straight again."

His voice, more than his words, broke through to me. It was as if a switch had been flicked off, I collapsed onto the floor so fast, Ranger could barely hold on to me. I was all raged out and I was all screamed out, all that was left was numbness.

He gathered me in his arms and held me, and like so many times before, shared his warmth and his strength with me. I don't know if it was minutes or hours, but finally, hearing the steady rhythm of his heart beat calmed me down and I wrapped my arms tight around his waist, holding him even closer.

"Oh God," I whispered as I realized what I'd just said and done, burying my face in his chest.

He slowly stroked my head. "It's okay," he whispered close to my ear. "Now you know why I didn't want you to see it."

"Ranger, I'm not your little girl you can protect from all evil," I said, lifting my head slowly. "I'm a big girl. I can handle it."

I struggled to get to my feet. "And I'm starting in the kitchen. Please leave. Now."

My arm was shaking a little as I pointed at the door, and I had to keep my eyes on the floor because I couldn't meet his, but I meant what I said.

I had to do this, and I had to do it alone. I was done borrowing strength.

Ranger's expression was emotionless, his eyes never left mine. "I'll leave if it's what you want," he said calmly.

TBC

A/N: I had a feeling it would be too much for Steph at some point…but do you think it's such a good idea, for her emotional state as well as her security, to be sending Ranger away now? Would you rather see Ranger take charge now?