"How is he?" asked Meredith urgently as Mark slipped out of Derek's hospital room.
Derek had sustained some minor injuries in the crash, he had hit his head pretty hard on the windshield and was still unconscious. There was no brain damage but he hadn't woken up, the crash had happened a week ago. Derek's mother and four sisters had flown out and Nancy had immediately kicked Meredith out of his room and banned her from visiting him. Mark had explained that Derek and Meredith were an item and had even showed them the engagement ring that had been found on Derek at the crash site, but they wouldn't back down. Meredith hadn't been anywhere near Derek in six days.
"Still the same," said Mark. "You look like crap."
"I don't care," said Meredith flatly. "I just need Derek to be alright…has there been any movement anything at all?"
"He hasn't even so much as squeezed his mother's hand," said Mark sadly. "I tried to talk to them about you…Mom thinks you should see him but…Nancy is a bitch and she just doesn't have the strength to fight."
"Or the inclination," Meredith muttered. "Just tell him I love him, okay?"
"I will," said Mark. "He'll be okay, you know?"
"No I don't," said Meredith. "But he has to be okay…or I don't know…there is no other option Derek has to be okay, he has to live and he has to be Derek!"
"He loves you," said Mark putting his arm around Meredith. "He loves you so much, he wouldn't want to see you doing this to yourself. You have to sleep, you have to eat. You're not going to be much good to him if you're dead."
"I wish I could see him," said Meredith tears falling from her eyes. "Why can't I see him?"
"I'm so sorry," said Mark truly devastated to see Meredith in such a state. "I can't change their minds…they think….that you broke up and…Derek called his mother when you wouldn't give him the time of day and he…omitted a few detail about Rose and you know…you drowning and almost dying…I'll keep trying though."
"No don't," she sighed wiping the tears from her face. "They might stop you seeing him…and then who would tell me how he is."
"Get some sleep," said Mark. "Because when he wakes up he's going to start shouting for you…you don't want to look like crap."
"Oh thanks."
---------------------------------------
"I know I'm breaking all the rules," said Meredith. It was 3am and almost all of Derek's family had gone to their hotel, only Nancy was still at the hospital and she was having coffee with Mark so Meredith had sneaked into Derek's room. She was sitting on the chair next to his bed, holding his hand.
"You need to wake up soon though…you're going to miss our deadline if you don't wake up…Derek please, you promised not to leave me again and I have to tell you dying is like the biggest way of leaving me…You can't just let me get used to you again and then just…die…" she sobbed, suddenly Derek's hand started to twitch. "Derek! Derek! Can you hear me? Derek if you can hear me wake up, come on wake up!"
"What the hell is going on here?" said Nancy standing in the doorway.
"He's moving!" Meredith cried not caring that she wasn't allowed to be in there. "His hand is moving…he's waking up!"
"Get her out of here before I call security," shouted Nancy as she pulled Meredith from Derek.
"Come on Meredith…she'll do it," said Mark glaring at Nancy.
"But he's waking up," Meredith sobbed. "Look his eyes!"
"Come on Nance you can see the state she's in," said Mark.
"Get her out!"
----------------------------------------
"What happened?" said Derek weakly. He had woken up ten minutes ago and had been checked over by an intern.
"You were in an accident a week ago," said Nancy. "What was the last thing you remember?"
"Talking to Mark at the hospital and then going home…I got on the freeway that's it," said Derek. "Where's Meredith? Is she here?"
"No," said Nancy stiffly. "She finished her shift and went home."
"You should call her, tell her I woke up and I'm okay," said Derek knowing that Meredith usually worried herself into a frenzy.
"I called her when you were getting your check up," Nancy lied. "I tried to get her to visit you but…she was always busy. She had a date tonight…I could hear him in the background when I called."
"Are you sure?" asked Derek not being able to believe that Meredith would be so cruel and callous.
"I'm positive," said Nancy. "Mom will be here soon, I was thinking maybe you could come back home to recover…it would be good for you to be around your family again."
"Yeah I'll think about it," said Derek his mind reeling from what Nancy had told him about Meredith. Maybe she had freaked out? But she was his Meredith and he needed to see her, his body was aching to hold her again.
----------------------------------------
"Dr. Grey…Lexie can I ask you something?" asked Derek as Lexie was examining him before discharging him. He was going to New York to stay with his mother for a few weeks before he could go back to work. But he still hadn't given up on Meredith, she hadn't visited him and part of him couldn't help but wonder if maybe Nancy was right.
"Sure," said Lexie.
"I just need a yes or no answer no explanation or anything just yes or no," said Derek firmly. If it was true, he didn't want to hang on to hope that Meredith did love him and she was just going through another freak out.
"Alright."
"Did Meredith come and see me at all?"
"No," sighed Lexie. "But…"
"That's all I wanted to know," said Derek deadly serious. "Can I go now?"
"Yes but Derek you need to talk to her before…"
"I'm not interested," said Derek trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.
After all they had been through, everything that had happened and everything they had said to each other in the past year, keeping their relationship a secret was more important to Meredith that coming to see him when he was ill.
Life could be so cruel. He was so close to having everything he wanted and now he had to give up and let it go, let her go.
This really isn't my favourite chapter but it is necessary to the story, which I have totally planned out now. It's going to have 23 chapters, most of them are written now I have just finished Chapter 20, so hurry up and REVIEW and I will post the next chapter tomorrow.