Written for the Writing Survivor challenge on SHINE...we were allowed to pick any fandom, and have to complete a daily prompt/challenge by the daily deadline in order to stay in the game. I chose Detective Conan/Magic Kaitou...this is the second entry.

Words: 2,133
Character(s): Kaitou Kuroba (Kaitou Kid), Shinichi Kudou, Heiji Hattori
Raiting: PG (for language)
Prompt: #2; "Exploits" and "Mask"
Disclaimer: Not mine!! Gosho Aoyama owns all!
Notes:

-Takes place after my story, "Rebirth"

-"Osaka-ben" is the term for the accent of people from the Kansai are

-The Second Division in the Japanese MPD is the one that deals with robbery and theft

-Italics during the tale is the others interrupting to comment on it; the adventure Kaitou describes is completely made up, but everything else mentioned beforehand has happened in the series (except the downfall of the syndicate, since the series isn't finished yet)

Whatever Can Go Wrong…

It was a nice, sunny day, and three 16 year old boys were enjoying the peacefulness of the weekend…something that they typically didn't get to do for one reason or another.

They weren't spending it outside, as they were all seated around the library of the Kudou household. Though, that could have been due to the fact that all of them had finally just gotten out of the hospital after their final clash with an underground crime syndicate.

The teen that sat on the armchair was known as Shinichi Kudou, and had dark brown hair with a cowlick in the back, and piercing blue eyes. He wore a blue sweater that almost hid the cast on his arm, and a pair of jeans with white socks on his feet. He seemed harmless enough, but he had deadly aim with both a soccer ball and a gun, though his greatest weapon was his detective brain.

Sprawled on a bean bag chair, that had only been moved in due to the insistence of the one that sat there, was Kaitou Kuroba. Typically a class clown, but also the mysterious thief, Kaitou Kid. He had messy brown hair and indigo eyes, and wore a simple lavender sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. He, too, merely had socks on his feet, though one leg was propped up on another beanbag chair.

The final teen had much darker skin than his two companions, and black hair that was half hidden under a blue-rimmed, white baseball cap that was positioned backwards on his head. He sat on the couch, dressed in a teal shirt under a jean jacket, with blue jeans and socks.

He was Heiji Hattori, and had a heavy Osaka-ben dialect as he spoke, "…and, when I accident'ly broke that bottle of wine at that cop's villa, and it got blamed on a dorm mouse that was only part of it. Or when I got suckered inta the pace of the trap the criminal set up, an' if Kudou hadn't shown up, in his own body then, the wrong guy woulda been arrested."

Kaitou snickered. "That sucks. Okay, Kudou! You're up!"

Shinichi crossed his arms in mock thoughtfulness. "Let's see…where do I start? I made a name for myself as a high school detective…then tailed two guys in black after a murder on a roller coaster, was clocked over the head by one of them after witnessing an illegal trade, force fed an experimental poison, and wound up in the body of a seven year old child. Then trying to get the police to take me seriously around cases…"

Heiji snickered. "Yea… 'Conan-chan'!"

Shinichi leveled him a glare that could have frozen hell.

Kaitou laughed. "Okay, okay…I guess managing to get turned into a little kid is an accomplishment. He one-ups you on that, Hattori!"

Heiji rolled his eyes. "How about dead bodies, Kudou? You're a freak'n curse!"

Kaitou broke into more laughter.

Shinichi huffed. "At least they don't fall out of the sky."

"That was only once! And sides, it doesn't change the fact that wherever ya go, there's a murder."

"Not true!"

"Oh, sorry…fergot bout the kidnap'n cases and robbery stuff, too!" Heiji grinned innocently.

"Hattori…!" Shinichi growled in warning. Then, he grinned. "Are you sure you aren't the curse? I mean, up until Haibara developed the antidote to the poison and I got my body back, every time I visited you, there was a murder case!"

Kaitou just clutched his sides as he howled in laughter.

"You go, then!" Heiji turned to the thief. "What awesome accomplishments have you done?"

Kaitou suddenly grinned, like the cat that caught the canary.

Shinichi groaned. "I think the better question is, what hasn't he done…or, what hasn't he stolen."

"Quite right, Kudou!" Kaitou chirped. "And, I'd like to call them 'exploits'. Though, if you're counting accomplishments a-la Murphy's Law, I'll have to go with the time I went to steal the Mask's Ruby…"

It was supposed to be an easy, clean heist, particularly since it was Kaitou Kid that was in charge of it. He had infiltrated the second mansion where the gem he wanted was stored by easily disguising himself as a security guard. The gem in question was supposedly a famous ruby that had once adorned the mask of a queen from centuries ago.

The traps around it could be easily bypassed, and since it was a time before he had tiny, annoying detectives on his case…

"What was that, Kuroba?" Shinichi narrowed his eyes.

"A-nnoy-ing," Kaitou chirped in response.

"What about that stick up his ass, Hakuba?" Heiji questioned.

"Pfft…that moron? The only thing he can catch is a cold! Now, where was I…?"


…it should be a snap to get in, get the gem, and get back out with it.

Of course, had he known that he was in for his most unlucky night, he probably would have stayed home.

The mansion was huge, and surrounded by fences. There was a second, slightly smaller mansion next to the first, which was the display museum that the old lady who owned the property and the collection had. It was lined with windows, and sat next to a giant lake with a forest on the other side.

Really, could the old lady have made it any easier?

Though, there were no spectators there…that should have sent off warning bells in Kid's mind that this would not go well. After all…he sent his little notices in advance to stir up commotion.

But, it wouldn't be his first heist where the person didn't even call the Second Division or hire more security, so he just thought the woman was senile.

Sneaking in was the easy part. Of course, his rope decided to break when he was halfway up to the fifth story window where the gem would be, so he had to quickly fire another one attached to a card from his card gun.

Thankfully, the sharpened card sunk into the wooden windowsill, and he was saved from an untimely death if he hit the ground, or a dip in the lake if he strayed from the side of the building.

Unlocking the window as a cinch, and he stealthily slipped into the building. Not a single alarm went off…after all, he knew where they all were, and had disabled some of them prior to entering the building.

Thank you, floor plans!

He was just about on top of his prize, when he literally found himself on top of something that yowled.

Or, more specifically, the tail of something that yowled.

Instantly, Kid realized that he was surrounded by not one, not two, but about fifty cats…

"You're exaggerate'n!" Heiji interrupted.

"Am not! In fact, there were probably more of the beasts in there!" Kaitou responded defensively.

…including the one whose tail he had stepped on.

Whomever designed burglar alarms had nothing on the natural yowls of cats. Or, the screeches that they made when they were angry.

He had only stepped on one of them, yet the entire mob of cats began to yowl like some demented alarm system.

It was worse and louder than an alarm system, in fact! And that first cat he stepped on had turned around and sunk its claws into his leg.

After a few yelps of pain, Kid managed to trip and stumble over to the case that held the gem. He could hear the shouts of the old woman coming up the stairs…what, had she camped out in the building or something to wait for him?!

Working quickly, he was able to free the gem of its glass prison just as the old lady got to the top, swearing like a sailor and wielding a broom…

"A broom?" Shinichi looked hard pressed not to laugh.

Heiji had no reservations about laughing.

"Yes, a broom! She called me a 'large, white rat', even!" Kaitou looked highly affronted.

…and began to chase Kid through the fifth floor of the building with aforementioned object.

Honestly, brooms should have been classified as lethal objects. Along with mops, which Aoko wielded very skillfully.

Kid fled, dodging cats left and right as the little buggers tried to dig their claws into him, then made his escape out the window by diving right out.

Normally, that wouldn't be a problem…he was the best in the air, after all, and loved soaring.

Yet, this time, his glider jammed and wouldn't open. Kid blamed it on the cats…one of the creatures from hell must have managed to hit the mechanism of his cape-glider when they jumped at him.

But, he wasn't well known for resourcefulness for nothing. With a couple flips, he managed to land solidly on a branch of a tree that extended out over the lake, from a small island in the middle of said body of water.

Of course, this was another mistake, as the branch cracked, then sent him into the icy depths of the water.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the freezing temperature, and his sudden awareness of a fiendish water dweller…

…no, a lot of fiendish water dwellers! With slimy scales, beady and stupid round eyes, puckered lips too smooth to be natural, and thin appendages sticking out of their sides and back…

"Wait, wait!" Shinichi interrupted. "Fish? Are you talking about fish, Kuroba?"

Kaitou sulked.

Heiji burst into more laughter, and Shinichi joined him shortly after.

Kaitou glared at them both. "Hey, everyone is afraid of something!"

"But…fish? I guess you wouldn't want to come fishing with us sometime, huh?" Shinichi managed to get out between laughter.

"Oh, and you're not afraid of your girlfriend, Kudou?" Kaitou scowled.

Shinichi paused. "Ran? Why would I be afraid of her?"

Heiji never lost an opportunity to tease his friends. "Cause ya cringe when she's pissed!"

Shinichi rolled his eyes. "She's a black belt in karate…she's taken down armed criminals with her bare hands, freaking drop kicked one of them, and put a dent in a telephone pole by punching it! I think I'm justified in being a little wary of her when she's angry!"

Heiji considered that. "Point."

"Anyway…!" Kaitou interrupted to continue his tale.


…Kid leapt from the pond without any of the grace he was known for at just the sight of the beady eyed monsters. He probably broke a couple world records in swimming right then and there, then collapsed on the opposite bank in the forest to get his breath back.

He wasn't able to rest long, as Murphy wasn't through with him, yet.

A growl alerted him to the fact that he had just stepped into the old woman's 'animal kingdom', and he hesitantly looked up into the eyes of two very large, very angry, grizzly bears.

A nasty curse word sprung from his mouth that started with "f" and ended in "k" before he jumped to his feet and tore through the forest.

After a moment, the bears followed with a roar…

"Don't you know any survival skills, Kuroba?" Shinichi quirked a brow. "You never look a wild animal in the eyes, and you never turn your back on them! They'll see you as prey."

"Yes, I found that out the hard way. Thanks, Kudou. Now let me finish!"

…Kid ran like mad through the forests, and finally came to sweet salvation.

Or, what would have been sweet salvation, if the wall wasn't coated in barbed wire.

Kid supposed that it was to keep the animals inside, but it also kept him inside.

With said animals.

That wanted him as their next snack.

Kid didn't know how much longer the chase went, but just as he thought he wouldn't be able to run anymore, he discovered that the ground below him was no longer solid. Sometime during his frenzied run, he had managed to get out of the animal kingdom and into an area next to it that was still under a bit of construction.

Thus, the large, uncovered sewage drain that he had literally stumbled over.

"…by the time I got out of the sewer and back home, I looked like a scratching post, was soaking wet, freezing cold, and smelled so bad that it took about five showers to get all that rank odor out!" Kaitou concluded his tale.

Shinichi grinned in amusement. "So, how did you give the gem back? You usually return them, don't you?"

Heiji snickered. "Didja go through all that again?"

Kaitou slumped in his beanbag chair and scowled. "Hell no. I wrapped it up all nice and neat...then sent the damned thing to her, fedex. Let the mailman deal with the old coot and her crazy property...I was never going back there ever again!"

END