Vin stayed leaning against Chris. He didn't know how long. He thought he should lay down, or lean against the bed frame, or sit by himself if nothing else. But he didn't want to. He was tired, he was in pain, and this was the longest anybody had ever kept a hand on him that wasn't restraining him. They didn't talk; Chris really thought Vin was asleep. His head was down and his eyes were closed, arms crossed to keep the blanket close. Chris noticed one thing that made him smile - Vin had one bare foot tucked on top of the other, toes curled against the cold floor.
Footsteps sounded up the stairs and Mary came in the door. She carried a basket over one arm - food by the wonderful smell of it.
"I brought bread." She said. "And some soup."
"I don't think Vin can eat bread..."
"The bread's for you, Chris. How is he?"
"He's been quiet. I forgot how heavy kids get when they sleep."
A muffled voice insisted "I ain't no kid."
"No, I guess you ain't." Chris agreed, reaching with his free hand to adjust the blanket that didn't need adjusting. "Guess you ain't been a kid for quite some time." Vin finally lifted his head and blinked the dryness out of his eyes, looking at Chris. "You want to lay down?" Chris asked and Vin nodded.
It took a little maneuvering to keep Vin upright till the blankets were pulled back, settle him against the pillows, tuck him in, but Chris didn't ask for help and Mary didn't offer. She could tell Vin was deathly ill just from looking at him, eyes dark against pale skin, his hair damp with fever against his forehead. He didn't move on his own, but held his body tight against the pain and just followed wherever Chris guided him.
"You'll have some soup." Chris said. Not a question. Vin was afraid of chasing him away again so, even though he wasn't hungry, he nodded. Chris saw it in his eyes, Vin would do anything if it meant Chris wouldn't leave him again, and Chris hated himself for causing it. "Just a little bit..." he offered. "And Buck said it's about time for some more medicine..."
"...'kay..."
Chris nodded, and adjusted the blankets that didn't need adjusting.
M7*M7*M7
JD looked up as Buck came up to him at the saloon. Josiah was escorting Mrs. O'Brien home, and Ezra had walked Nettie back to Mary's house.
"What was it you told Larabee that got him up there so quick?" Buck asked.
JD grinned. "Did you leave the door open?"
"Yep, sure glad I did too, or he woulda busted it open...what'd you do?"
"I just made believe you were being mean to Vin is all. He was outta here so fast, his shadow ain't caught up with him yet."
"Dammit boy!" Buck said with admiration. "You are just too smart for your own good!" Another moment's thought. "What the hell..." and he grabbed JD in a hug. JD was glad no one else was around.
"Aw Buck...c'mon!"
M7*M7*M7
When Vin fell back asleep, Chris and Mary sat in the chairs near the woodstove. Chris sat where he could watch Vin, and absently ate a piece of the bread.
"So, how could you be so sure I'd come back?" He finally got the Buck to ask. They kept their voices low.
"I've seen you with Vin. " Mary said. "I know that you're friends with all the men, but I can tell that you keep a special eye on Vin. The tough kid brother who doesn't need anybody watching him. Only he doesn't realize that that's only because you watch him constantly." Chris shook his head, not exactly agreeing with her.
"I don't watch him."
"Chris - you knew long before I did that Vin can't read, didn't you? Looking back on it now, I remember all the times when you were walking through the town, or when I'd see you at the restaurant - if there was a handbill posted that you thought Vin needed to know, or if something changed on the menu, you'd read it out loud, but as though to yourself. To spare him having to choose between asking and not knowing."
Mary could see that she was right. Chris ducked his head and tore the middle out of the piece of bread in his hand, and she realized something that she previously thought impossible. Chris Larabee was embarrassed. She'd seen armed, vicious outlaws frozen in their tracks by this man, and now he was embarrassed to be caught helping a friend.
"You are a puzzling man, Mr. Larabee." She said after a moment, and Chris looked up at her with what was almost a shy grin.
"Why Mrs. Travis - I didn't think you noticed."
M7*M7*M7
Vin scanned the crowd that had come to see him hang. Just one, he thought. If he could see just one of his friends before he died. There were a lot of faces he recognized, though no names came to mind, but none was a friendly face. The more he looked at the crowd, the more he realized - all the faces were familiar. All were men he had hunted for the bounty on their heads. Some he had brought to justice to be sent to prison, some to hang, some he had killed.
The faces of dead men filled the crowd that had come to see him hang.
Just one, he thought. If he could just see one of his friends before... Vin heard the complaint of the gears as the trapdoor was sprung and he was sent to hell.
M7*M7*M7
It was Dawn, Nathan was sleeping on the cot that Chris had repeatedly refused to take, choosing instead to spend the night uncomfortably in a chair by Vin. He slept off and on, waking up regularly as one part or another of his body twinged in defiance of the chair. He was awake now, trying to rub some feeling back into his arm, when Vin flinched as though he'd been startled in his sleep and sat bolt upright, gasping for air and clawing at his neck.
"NO!" It hardly sounded like a word at all, it was so raw. "Please - don't - don't..." Vin desperately tried to pull the noose off before he strangled, but he couldn't get his fingers around it.
"Vin - what is it?" Chris took Vin's hands and held them down, trying to see if there was something on the outside of his neck that was tormenting him. But all he could see were the angry scratches Vin was inflicting on himself.
"What is it?" Nathan was awake and crouching by the bed.
"I don't know - he woke up, started scratching at himself..."
Nathan tried to get Vin's attention. "Vin - can you hear me? Look at me. Is your throat hurtin' you that bad?"
Vin looked at him, still caught in the hallucination. He saw a friend finally - but - but - a memory churned inside of him. They'd hanged him too. They'd hanged Nathan that day in town. Please God, he was surrounded by the dead. He sobbed in fear, and struggled and bit at the hands that restrained him. He had to get the noose off before he was dead too...
Chris was surprised when Vin tried to bite him, obviously frantic to be free. But he held on, twisting out of harm's way, keeping Vin from hurting himself, but letting him pull away from Nathan.
"Get it off... I don't want to hang...please..."
The noose bit in to Vin's neck and he felt himself grow lightheaded. He was dying.
Please God, not alone. Don't want to die alone. Please God.
But Vin didn't have much fight in him and his body abruptly gave up the struggle against Chris. He lay almost off the pillows, panting from his exertion, still softly moaning in fear. When Chris saw that it was safe, he let go of Vin's hands and gently shifted him back onto the pillows.
Vin felt the hands touching him. Dead man's hands. He was surrounded by dead men. He squeezed his eyes shut to not see them, please God, get them away from me. Please God, I don't want to die alone. Please - I don't want to hang.
"He thinks he's being hanged." Chris finally made the words out. He shook Vin to wake him from the nightmare. "Vin - c'mon. Wake up. It's OK, you're safe."
"That ain't gonna work." Nathan said. "Shakin' him. He's awake, but he's delirious. We have to get his fever down. Keep talkin' to him though." He said that more to give Chris something to do, than because he thought it would do Vin any good. "Let him know he's safe. Keep him from hurtin' himself. I'll get the medicine and some fresh water to cool him down."
Vin heard the voice, still felt the hands. "...you're safe..." Dead man's hands. Dead man's voice. "...take care of you..." Please God, he didn't want to hear their voices. "...ain't gonna hurt you..." Didn't want to hear what a dead man would say to him. "...Vin. .." Please God. He tried one last time to push away from the hands that kept him trapped in the horror, surrounded by dead men...
He felt it - as he pushed away one last time, Vin felt it. A hand, warm and strong held his own. Held on firmly but without hurting. He felt it, and waited for the warmth to ebb away and the strength to fail. Waited for it to be dead. But the warm, firm strength didn't change. Vin opened his eyes.
On the gallows, searching the crowd, he saw Chris coming toward him. Chris put something cool on Vin's neck and the noose dissolved and he could breathe again. Chris held his hand, and Vin felt himself sinking slowly into welcome darkness. No dead men, no voices, no fear.
"I think he's asleep again." Chris didn't let go of Vin's hand.
"I guess you got through to him." Nathan said. He carefully washed the scratches on Vin's neck, and laid a cold, wet rag on his forehead.
"How much longer is this gonna go on?"
'until he gets better or dies' Nathan thought to himself, but said: "Could be another day, could be a week Chris. Quinsy don't run no regular course..."
"Ain't there nothing else we can do? Different medicine? Something Nathan?"
Nathan shook his head. "I'm sorry Chris."
to be continued