Chapter summary: "Mistake"? It wasn't a 'mistake,' okay? It was a misreading, ... or something ... or not! And why does Rosalie always have to harp on when I was wrong before, anyway?
Three vampires stared at me in shock.
"Well," I exclaimed shrilly, "don't just stand there! Call Rosalie and stop her!"
Carlisle, ever cool, "Now, Alice, now is not the time to panic, we have to ..."
I couldn't stand it: "Now is the perfect time to panic," I said, panicking. "Don't you get it? When I feel something happening that strongly, it's either happening in the very near future or it's happening to me ... or it's happening to me or someone dear really soon now!"
"I'll call," Esme volunteered.
She raced downstairs, all of us fast on her heels. She dialed Rosalie cell, and waited as the connection was made, looking toward me.
"What do I sa-..." Esme began, but then was interrupted when Rosalie picked up.
"What?" Rosalie snarled through the line.
There's formality when talking on the phone, and then there's Rosalie.
"H-hello, Rosalie," Esme said, taken aback, "this is Esme, I was just calling t-..."
"Who else would be calling at two in the morning?" Rosalie snarl didn't soften in tone, although her snarl was soft in volume. "Listen, Esme, email's been around long enough, and if you'd check it, you'd see we're still arriving tomorrow evening, okay? The itinerary hasn't changed since we booked the flight."
Wasn't it wonderful how Bella had mellowed Rosalie's disposition?
But we got a vital piece of information, even if it was alluded to implicitly, and that was Bella was okay now.
So we just had to make sure she stayed that way until the future definitely changed away from the horrible vision.
And an irate Rosalie wasn't steering the future away from that course.
"So you're both okay, then?" Esme confirmed.
An exasperated sigh. "Of course we're okay! Sleeping Beauty here is ..." then Rosalie paused, then said angrily (well, more angrily), "God damn it!"
She said that because a quiet, tired voice joined the conversation. "Rose, is everything okay? Who are you talking to?"
Rose. Bella called Rosalie 'Rose.'
After two years of knowing of Rosalie, Bella hadn't used that familiarity ... rarely anybody did, and if they did, they did so rarely, daringly, because it was always a measured risk, being familiar, calling Rosalie 'Rose.' She tended to rip your head off if she felt she was being slighted or taken for granted or patronized.
Well, not literally rip off your head. That we knew about, anyway.
Bella said Rosalie's familiar name easily, naturally.
She said it as a friend calls a friend, or a lover her beloved.
Bella now knew more than of Rosalie, she knew Rosalie ... knew as in the Biblical sense.
It was ... almost shocking, this intimacy that we were hidden witnesses to.
But not as shocking as what followed.
"Sweetheart," Rosalie said gently, "everything's all right, I'm just confirming the flight information with Esme."
Rosalie's voice, just recently harsh and angry to her kin, softened to tenderness when she addressed Bella.
Rosalie was being ... tender.
And, there were no layers in this tenderness. Before there was always a haughtiness, a distance, an anger, to everyone, even to Bella before ... especially to Bella before when she was that troublesome little human.
Bella is still a troublesome little human, by any vampire's measure (even though our family loves her dearly).
Except, apparently, Rosalie's.
"What time is it?" Bella's voice was still stupid with sleep.
"It's still early, honey; go back to sleep," Rosalie said lightly.
Bella couldn't possibly hear the strain in Rosalie's voice as Rosalie tried to shield Bella from a phone call from her family at two a.m.
But Bella is no dummy, either.
"How early is it?" Her voice sharpened to a heightened awareness.
A slight pause, then Rosalie answered quietly, "It's two thirteen a.m."
We heard a shifting of sheets, and Rosalie buzzed an angry, "When we get home, I am so going to ..." into the phone.
Bella couldn't understand what Rosalie was saying, but she understood that something was being said.
"Rosalie, hand me the phone, okay?" It wasn't what one could call a commanding voice, but Bella was certain about what she wanted, and she definitely didn't want to be shoved to the side any more by all the supernatural creatures talking about what was best for her.
She had more than enough of that in her life.
We could hear Rosalie's teeth grind, but the very next second, we did hear Bella's signature timidity: "Hello?"
"Bella," Esme smiled into the phone, "I'm so glad to hear you're well."
"Esme," Bella's voice was relieved to be talking to a sympathetic vampire ...
... although that label could be applied to all of our family ... well, most of our family.
And Jasper could be sympathetic if Bella wasn't bleeding at the time.
Bella continued: "Is everything okay?"
"Well, ..." Esme began.
Esme was our worst liar, and, consequently the worst person to talk with Bella ... but the best one to talk with Rosalie, because her temper was less likely to snap when talking with Rosalie. I tended to be less patient than Esme with Rosalie.
But now that Bella was on the phone, we couldn't hand off the phone to somebody else without arousing suspicion.
Again, another human unexpectedly waking threw everything off.
What is it with humans refusing to continue to sleep when we need them to do just that?
So very inconvenient!
But if humanity were to be wiped out, as was floated about in serious discussion in certain quarters, then most vampires would need to find a new food source (which for them was simply unthinkable) and we wouldn't have these wonderful moments with Bella.
She was always doing something unexpected.
Cliff diving, anyone? Or ballet lessons with James? Or calling off a wedding just as church bells are ringing?
That Bella, always something.
And now it was a phone call. Harmless, right? Just like when Bella said she had to go to the bathroom at Phoenix Airport ... and ran right into James' arms.
"It's Edward, isn't it? Something happened to him? Did he go to Volterra again?" Bella's voice rose in pitch along with her concern.
"I hope so," Rosalie's angry buzz carried its way over the phone line. "That way he'd do something right for a change and finally finish what he started!" Then she added spitefully, "Serves him right!"
"Rosalie!" both Bella and Esme exclaimed at the same time.
Of course, Bella couldn't know what Rosalie said, but it wasn't hard to guess her general feelings about her brother.
There wasn't much love between them before: both of them sullen and proud, and now that they had fought so genteelly on the surface but so dirty in the subtext over Bella, one's anger had sharpened into jealousy and the other's anger had sharpened into indignation.
Edward and Rosalie, brother and sister, now hated each other — passionately — and their tight-lipped civil smiles to each other hid this fact from nobody.
"Rosalie Hale," Esme spoke through the phone in even tones, she didn't need to shout, but her tones, albeit even, where firm, "Edward is your brother, and my son, just as you are my daughter, and it would a sad loss for us all, you as well, if something were to happen to him."
"Rose," Bella's quiet voice was directed away from the phone, "I don't know what you said, but I think you should apologize."
There was a silence, thick with anticipation on our side. Rosalie? Apologize? About Edward?
After a moment, a cross "I'm sorry!" came over the line.
Esme frowned, but Carlisle actually smiled faintly.
Well, it was progress ... for Rosalie.
"Rose," Bella said humbly, "things are over between Edward and me, but I still care for him and what happ-..."
"I apologized already!" Rosalie said angrily.
Well, a little bit of progress for Rosalie.
Bella sighed, but then spoke into the phone, "What do I need to do? Is he in Volterra now? Do I need to fly out there? But what will they say about me when I'm still a ..."
"No, Bella, it's not that," Esme interrupted quickly, "Edward's fine. You don't have to concern yourself about that."
"How do you know that?" Bella asked disbelievingly. "I mean, hasn't he been avoiding talking to us all?" But then she amended quickly, probably reading annoyance from Rosalie, "I mean, you all? How do you know he's okay?"
"He actually called within the last hour, Bella, I talked with him for a bit," Esme answered factually.
I think only Esme could turn what the conversation she had with Edward and the surprise in his room named Paige from what it was to 'I talked with him for a bit.'
"Oh," Bella said in surprise. It was quiet for a second, then she asked hesitantly, "Is he flying home for Christmas break, too?" She paused a fraction of a second, then added, "I mean, it's okay, and everything, he needs family now, more than ever, and ..."
"Actually," Esme said, "he called to tell me that he'd be spending Christmas break in Virginia, but ..."
"See, Esme, no, that's not okay," Bella said forcefully, "because when he's alone, he starts thinking, and what he comes up when he's left to himself is never good. This is bad, Esme, we have to ..."
"Bella! Bella!" Esme said. "A local family is taking Edward in. He'll be looked after. Don't worry about Edward, okay?"
I shook my head as I listened.
Esme.
'He'll be looked after'? There was no way for Bella to infer anything like ... well, the tour de force that Paige is that attached herself to Edward.
"Oh," said Bella in surprise. "Okay ... well, that's good. But if you're not calling about Edward, then why are you ..."
Bella had broken off and was quiet for moment.
"It's about me, isn't it?" Bella asked with dawning realization. "Alice saw something. She called you, right? Was it the Volturi?"
I quickly scribbled a note on the pad by the phone and showed it to Esme.
Esme glanced it, raised an eyebrow, and returned her attention to the phone.
"No, Bella, it's not the Volturi. Bella," Esme began cautiously, "are the walls in your dorm ... well, what color are they?"
"Huh? Well, um, off-white. Why?" Bella began, but then yelped in surprise. "Hey, ow!"
"If Alice is there, put her on the line right now," Rosalie growled.
Bella, in the background, said a bit petulantly, "Say 'please,' Rosalie."
Rosalie blew through her nose. "'Please,'" she added impatiently.
I walked to the phone, preparing to do battle with Rosalie, but then had to work very hard not to burst out laughing, even given the gravity of the situation, because Bella was muttering in the background, complaining faintly, and her words went like this.
"'Oh, Bella, may I talk on the phone for a moment, please?'" she asked herself sarcastically, then grumbled: "But no! Grab it right out of my hand like that, I won't be surprised if I've sprained my wrist, and it'll be all swollen tomorrow. How can I carry my luggage like that? I'm going to need cold Rosalie compress all night now, and it'd better be sweet and apologetic Rosalie cold compress, not mean and grumpy Rosalie or it'll be NST for her for a fortnight and that's a fact!"
As if Rosalie, fawning Rosalie, would let Bella touch anything other than her purse (Yes, I know! Bella has a purse now! They both were actually good for each other in some ways ...). In some ways, Rosalie is exactly like Edward in the ways she treats Bella.
I said in some ways, okay? Back off, please. Rosalie and Bella may have been quite the surprise match for all concerned, even each other, at first, but when they did end up as a couple, you did see how the strengths of one helped the other and vice versa. Sounds trite, and rarely works in practice. For example ... unfortunately: Bella and Edward ... their strengths only smothered each other. That is, if Edward would ever admit Bella had any strengths at all. He saw as a weak human girl, needing to be worshiped, yes, adored, yes, but protected and marginalized.
Rosalie saw Bella in many ways similar, but Rosalie did something that Edward didn't.
Rosalie treated Bella as a person. No, as an equal, as a lover, as a partner, a true partner in their relationship.
Carlisle brought me out of thoughts about Bella and Rosalie's perfect relationship, by asking about ... well, Bella and Rosalie's quirky relationship.
Carlisle asked in confusion, quietly, "N.S.T.?"
Both Jasper and Esme where shaking their heads frantically at Carlisle, but it was too late: I was already answering his question.
"N.S.T.," I said. "'No Sex Tonight.'"
One of the many wonderful things about having Bella in the family, besides her continuous moments of physical humor — Bella fall down go boom-ouch, ha-ha, so funny! — was that she gave me so much to look up and to learn. Emmett was right, it was a good thing Edward didn't kill her when he got his first whiff of her; never a dull moment with her around.
But then I sighed. Emmett. Yet another casualty of the Bella-effect. What was it now? Twenty-six vampires, which included the decimated newborn army Victoria (another casualty) raised to eliminate her.
You don't mess with me, nor Esme ... nor Bella, it appeared. The only entity that I knew that had eliminated more vampires was Jasper ... and the Volturi.
"Oh," said Carlisle, abashed at my explanation. But then the scientist in him got the better of his embarrassment, and he wondered aloud, "Actually, how can they engage in intercourse when neither is equipped with ..."
Esme's brow became stormy with fury, and her hand slashed the air in a vicious horizontal cut. Esme had learned that Carlisle, like many men, were immune to subtle hints.
I picked up the receiver and grinned wickedly. Teasing my father was a lot more fun than crossing swords with my sister.
"Look up 'tribadism' online, Carlisle, that should get your research started ..."
I giggled, anticipating the looks crossing Carlisle face when he hit wikipedia and saw the sample sketches, and then followed the link to tribbing-dot-org.
"Does that mean I have to work the computer?" Carlisle asked blankly.
I sighed ... that is, it would be delicious fun if he ever made it to wikipedia. Maybe I'd help out his research efforts, that way I could see the expressions at his mortification or his scientific fascination first hand. I don't know which would be funnier.
Esme was glaring at me for my last comment.
So, maybe it'd be better if I let this one go.
But I mean, come on! I was at least one-hundred years old, sure, but he had no excuses, even if he did have another quarter millennium on me. Hey! He should have used that extra time to play catch up to me ... before he knew I existed.
I would have.
Tee-hee! In fact, I did: I spend thirty years looking for the Cullens before I ever met them.
I sighed, and breathed cheerily into the receiver, "Hi, Rosalie!"
Might as well start the conversation off cheerfully ...
"What did you see, Alice?" Rosalie demanded curtly.
... 'start the conversation cheerfully' ... well, at least it started cheerfully from my end.
"Bella becomes your singer, and you drink her dry," I sang.
Silence. Three wide-eyed vampires stared at my delivery, and I couldn't see Rosalie through the telephone, but I didn't need to, for I had already memorized the definition of 'affronted haughtiness.'
That would be: 'see: Rosalie Lillian Haughty, I mean: Hale.'
"Made you blink," I added helpfully.
Rosalie spoke very slowly and clearly. "This is no laughing matter, Alice, and I don't appreciate your levity."
"Rosalie," I sighed, "how else could I get you to listen to me? Every time I say, 'Oh, no!' about something, you're right there saying I'm wrong about this or that. Frankly, my dear sister, I'm almost fainting with relief, because Bella's still alive, and you're been working on her vocabulary I'm pleased to see ... fortnight? ... and ... you're angry enough to take me seriously this time."
"Alice, you're right about me being angry enough ..." Rosalie said.
It sounded calm, but I knew she was furious, and with me. Like Edward, she got really defensive when her lover was endangered, and, like Edward, she directed that anger at me for noticing the danger.
So much for not shooting the messenger. And I volunteer to do this why, again?
Oh, because I love Rosalie so much!
Actually, that's a true statement, sarcasm aside. It's true, too, for Edward, and for all my family, in fact.
Particularly my Jasper, but, as he's shown with the wolves and the newborns, he can take care of most any danger.
That leaves my Bella ...
Well, not my Bella, but Bella, taking care of danger? Ooh! A vampire! I wonder if it needs a hug?
I keep my eye on, and out for, Bella.
Rosalie continued: "... but as for taking you seriously; well, I'll withhold judgement on that until after you tell me everything you saw."
And so I told her, confident now that she would hear me out this time ...
...
"So ..." Rosalie said slowly, "let me get this straight ..."
Ah! Of course! You can't have a conversation with Rosalie with her just accepting what you say. No. She's got to pick everything apart.
"So," she continued, "you saw a vampire, indistinctly, taking a human, that you didn't see at all ... and you say your vision ended as the vampire moved toward the human ... right?"
"Right," I answered cautiously.
"Hm, well, yes, I could see how you would see it would be me, for after all, what vampire in the world would go for a human at night in their room ... oh, wait!" Rosalie added the 'afterthought' sarcastically, "That would, in fact, describe almost every encounter a vampire has with a human! Night? Check. Human? Check. Oh, dear me, alert the presses and wake up Bella at two in the morning, so her flight the next day is pure hell from lack of sleep! Make perfect sense to me! Great job, Alice, you've saved the day, yet again."
"It's not like that, Rosalie, ..." I began exasperated.
"Well, then," Rosalie replied, equally displeased, "tell me was it is like, because I have Bella staring at me with big saucer eyes of hers and a heartbeat elevated by worry. Do you know how much work it going to require to coax her back to sleep? And the following dreams where I'll have to hold her as she ..." Rosalie paused thoughtfully, then a 'hmmm' as she considered the possibilities.
"You're welcome, Rosalie," I said and then added, rolling my eyes, "I'll make sure to call you at two a.m. from now on, okay? But would you please listen to me? A vision that strong? It's happening soon and it's happening to someone near to me, someone dear, and blue walls? ... as I saw in my vision? What color are the walls in Bella's room?"
"They're blue, Alice, and you know it," Rosalie accused petulantly.
Yes, I did. Bella needed a lot of help in the months it took her to mend from James' attack. Broken bones don't mend in hours on a human, after all. I spent a lot of time helping her in ways that, well, not prudish, but ... well ... okay prudish Edward absolutely refused to. His loss, for I felt in that time that I really got to know Bella in the most intimate of ways. I think our friendship really grew a bit past Bella's shyness about everything. It had to, because I had to help her into and out of the shower, holding her as she did the best she could, and then helping her where the breaks made it too painful to bend. Simply things like sitting down and standing up from the toilet were impossible for her, and I had to carry her up to and back down from her room. Edward could manage that last bit sometimes, but he really missed out on Bella's fierce embarrassment giving way to a shared intimacy of her thoughts, and, yes, her body, that I will remember and treasure forever.
Bella needed a friend's help then, and I was so glad I could be there for her to give it to her. Actually, I was the one who felt privileged and thankful during that time I helped her.
I returned my attention to the one who now was thankful of Bella's love and attentions, too ... in a very different way.
"So ...?" I said.
"So it doesn't mean anything!" Rosalie responded fiercely. "There are a lot of bedrooms in the world with blue walls and there are hundreds of vampires preying on hundreds of humans, that means that there are more than a few people dying tonight. So sorry and so sad, but we're doing what we can about it. And it doesn't mean that Bella's the one being attacked nor that I'm her attacker, that would never happen. Ever."
"But, Rosalie," I said sensibly, to her sensible reply, "this vision was ... well, it was tangible; it was real for me. I knew the human, and cared for her, and I felt the same about the vampire, although it's hard to tell you how, as I was them, but I felt it, Rosalie, this is going to happen."
"Just like Bella and Edward's wedding?" Rosalie asked softly. "Or were you putting up the decorations and fitting me for a bride's maid dress for the exercise?"
I was quiet at that.
"Or like any of the many other visions you've had that predicted calamity or joy and ended up to be wrong or that just didn't happen. You're better than the weather forecast, but ..."
"Rosalie, I've been wrong, yes, but can we risk me being right in this case?" I demanded. "I tasted the desire, Rosalie, and no matter how strong you are, you won't be able to resist it."
Rosalie hissed: "Yes, I shall! I've never made a mistake, Alice, unlike others who've had visions about just that for herself, right, Alice?"
I looked down in shame.
"It ... It wasn't a mistake, Rosalie. I mean, bang, there I was, this thing that I am now, and so, so thirsty, and the vision led me to ... to ..."
"To a nice young bag of blood named what again?" Rosalie asked relentlessly.
Jimmy, I thought to myself sadly. I make a pilgrimage to the tree I buried him by to say hello and to apologize, every year. That young, delighted, then mystified, then dead left fielder from a high school somewhere in Mississippi who went to retrieve a baseball that had shot over the fence.
The vision led me to that baseball. I held the ball out for him, ... for Jimmy.
'Looking for this?' I asked him sweetly.
I buried his body in Alabama, hundreds of miles away from where he went missing.
Nobody will ever find Jimmy. Except me, annually on my pilgrimage to his unmarked burial site.
"I ... Rosalie, I didn't know then ... I just knew that ..." I stuttered.
"You just knew that he looked just like you, and had a heart and a mind, and was entirely in your power, and what did you do? And now you have that taste cemented there in your mind, imprinted into your very being, and you think about it sometimes, tempted, because we all do, even Carlisle must, I'm sure, but the difference between Carlisle and myself and every other vampire in the world is we've never succumbed to that temptation. The murders I did were deliberate, and I didn't let one drop touch my lips. But you ..."
Rosalie paused significantly.
"So, yes, Alice, I can risk it, because what are you going to do? You're going to post watch over me, so now Bella will be exposed to more vampires. Oh, now she'll be safe, because it'll be you or Esme or Jasper watching over me watching over Bella, or ..."
She paused again, distaste thickening her voice.
"Or Edward, if he comes back, because he just has to check up on her; he can hop on a flight and be here in under a day. How do you know it's not one of you? It could be you, Alice, that's a vampire close to you. Very close. It could be Jasper ... need I remind you: again ... you two are ... close. And Edward? Bella is his singer! She gets a little cut while he's playing the stalker game he loves to play, and what happens after six months of him being away? The blood atomizes in the air, and Edward goes into a frenzy with no Carlisle to talk him down, because of Edward's clandestine machinations to avoid us all just so he can get a moment alone with Bella to talk her out of the error of her ways and to return to her handsome prince. You tell me he wouldn't try that!"
"Rosalie," I said with certainty, "no, he won't be trying that over Christmas break, nor anytime into the future that I can see, besides, he's kind of ... occupied now."
"I'm sure you'll tell me all about it when we get there," Rosalie sighed with exasperation.
What? I like to share! So shoot me!
"... but he can't get unoccupied for a day to check on his true love and to see how the Royal Bitch is treating her so he can exact revenge?" Rosalie asked incredulously.
"Rosalie!" I rolled my eyes.
"Don't you, Alice," Rosalie growled, "don't you 'Rosalie' me! This is Bella! I know how much she means to him, because I know how much she means to me. I love her, and I'd do almost anything for her."
"Including letting her go if she wanted to leave you?" I asked carefully.
"I don't see that happening; I'm not going fall down on the job and let that happen, unlike some other people, but, to answer your question: yes. If she needed to leave me, if she really wanted to, I'd let her go."
"Just like Edward did," I concluded scoldingly.
"No, Alice, that's the difference ... Edward didn't love Bella, not really. He was a spoiled brat who was jealous of his toy, and, well, now his toy's been taken away because she decided, sensibly, to leave him. Well, boo-hoo! But I don't treat Bella that way, because I do love her. That's the difference between love and jealousy. With love, you can let go, with jealousy, you hold tighter and tighter, and even when he left her, he was so jealous of that dog and that Newton and now me, but he was really jealous of ... well, her. He never let her think a thought on her own. And don't tell me you didn't see him push her around and treat her like ... well, like he treated her. Kidnappings sound familiar, oh, yellow Porsche owner?"
"We did that to keep her safe from ..."
"From her using her own judgment and doing what she felt was right!" Rosalie spat out. "I never liked it when it was happening, but I had to be diplomatic for happy Edward and happy Bella's sake then, but I don't have to be diplomatic now, so I'll say this now. Thanks for the scary visions and the offers of stalking help, but I'll be clear with you, Alice. If you're planning stakeouts, then don't! In fact, stay the Hell away. If you're planning to separate us, I will take on every single one of you to protect Bella from your plans to make her happy the way you see fit. Go ahead, ask her; I dare you. Ask her if she wants you to enroll her in your protection plan off your ambiguous vision. I'll do what she wants here. Will you?"
I didn't need my gift to know what Bella's preferences here would be. Bella was Bella. If she was in danger, she'd be the first to charge headlong into it. If she had a concern for her love, be it Edward or Rosalie, or anybody, she tried to protect them.
"But, Rosalie ..." I began.
"'But, Rosalie ...'" Rosalie repeated nasally — and I don't know why; I do not have a nasal voice ... actually I do know why: Rosalie loved to get a rise out of me, but I loved it more getting a rise out of her ... because it was so easy to do — but then she scolded me: "That's not asking Bella, Alice. Good night!"
Click.
Wow! She hung up on me.
Now I knew she was spitting mad, ... well, I mean madder than usual, because hanging up on me?
She was going to be paying for that one for decades. Decades, I tell you.
I was actually pleased, looking forward to the look and raised eyebrow that I could give her from now on for that misstep that calm, cool, and collected (and always self-righteous and angry) Rosalie would never make.
Ah! Young love! Well the family needed a breath of fresh air, and we were certainly getting it. Whatever Bella attached herself to, things got exciting.
But that didn't solve our problem. Our Bella problem. And the one who should have been most concerned about it and asked for our help was telling us to piss off.
So surprising, too, so like ... um, I meant so unlike, Rosalie.
I shook my head, cradled the phone, and turned to my family.
"What do we do?" I asked them.
Wisdom: I don't have it, but my family does. Wisdom is knowing that when you don't know what to do, you ask for help from people who do.
Carlisle spoke slowly, measuring his words, "Rosalie is right, she is strong, and now that she's been warned, she'll be prudent. We've hurt Bella enough with our interference." He concluded solemnly: "We respect her wishes; we must do this."
I looked around and met concerned resolution. It was a hard thing Carlisle was saying, but he was right; our interference only made things worse for Bella, and as tempting as it was, we had to let Rosalie be strong in her own way. We disrespected Bella in this and it only put her into more and more danger, hurting her more, physically, yes, but the greater damage was the emotional scars she still carries.
"I agree," my Jasper said solemnly. "We have to respect Rosalie's wishes."
Jasper was quite for a moment, looking at the ground.
Then he looked up, his jaw clenched.
"Tell me, Carlisle, is it Rosalie's wish to have Bella dead in her arms? Is it yours to see the ones you love, your entire family, in fact, brought so low at a loss we allow if we do nothing and leave them be? We do that and Bella dies, and then what happens to Rosalie? What happens to all of us? It would be a mistake to do nothing now, when everything is needed of us. A fatal mistake."
He gave us a hard look.
"I know of struggle," Jasper said softly, "we all do, but I know how it is to lose to that struggle."
Jasper looked at me apologetically, then continued.
"And we know how to win against the struggle, and it's not to be strong and fight the fight alone, it's to have your friends, the ones you love there, helping you, supporting you. They may be offering that, but that's not what you ... what I ... what Rosalie needs us there for. I know many, many times I was tempted, but many times I didn't give into that temptation, and the only reason why I didn't wasn't because I'm strong; no, the only reason why I didn't give into temptation was because of the shame I know I would feel for disappoint you, Carlisle, for disappointing ..."
Jasper glanced at me, then looked away quickly, not looking back.
"Jas ..." I gasped out, and reached toward him.
He looked at me. He looked so lost, so filled with self-loathing.
"Jasper," I whispered, "you will never disappoint me. Do you hear me? Not ever."
"But I have Alice. You've forgiven me ... but," Jasper broke off for a second. "But I know I've disappointed you. I have, and I know I would again if I failed you." He smiled sadly.
He looked back to Carlisle, but he took my tiny hand in his huge one, and I felt better knowing he felt comforted at my touch.
"That is what keeps me strong, Carlisle. Maybe you don't need that. No, I know you don't need that, but I know that I do, for I am a very weak man. And I think we all know that behind Rosalie's anger and fierceness is a weak woman. I think we must honor her wishes, and I think we know the one person that makes all her wishes come true now, finally after a century of sadness and anger and pain, and I think we don't want her to lose that, and I think she doesn't to lose that, either."
He looked at Carlisle.
"I think that's she wants. I know that's what I need. I think she does, too," he stated in conclusion.
I squeezed my man's hand, so filled with pride for him. His quiet, thoughtful words said exactly what I wanted to say, but so much better than my desperate and panicked squawking ever could.
And who said taking philosophy was a waste of time?
I looked at my Jasper, my solemn philosopher.
Carlisle did, too, measuring him and his words. His eyes slid over to Esme for a second, and she looked at him for a second, then nodded once. Her daughters' happiness was on the line, and she was thinking of them, so filled with compassion and concern.
Carlisle looked back to my Jasper, a Major in the Confederate army, a destroyer of over three thousand vampires in countless battles, a vampire now struggling to abstain from what he had been doing for more than a century ... and succeeding, by his own strength, yes, and by the help of his family.
Carlisle spoke: "How shall we do this, Jasper?"
Chapter End Notes:
[1] This story does continue, ... promise! ...but there's a nice, erhm, 'little' interlude of what 'happens' between Bella and Rosalie after Alice's phone call in my new story called "The Bells Are Ringing." Yes, if you are asking the question: somebody's 'bell' is indeed rung. If you know what I mean.