"Ma?" The light was so bright, but it didn't hurt to look into it.
"I'm here angel. Your Papa and I are waiting on you."
"I picked you flowers Ma." Vin didn't remember how, but suddenly he had a handful of Queen Anne's Lace. He hadn't moved off the bright quilt on the little bed.
"Aren't you just the sweetest boy any mother could want." She hugged him. It felt like she hugged him anyway, but he could barely see her in the bright light. "Are you coming with us, angel? It's not very far now, you could come with us."
"I want to come with you Ma. I missed you. I been wantin' to be with you all this time..." He tried to push himself off the bed, but he was so tired, and he felt so weak. "Ma - wait for me... don't leave me again..."
"Your Papa and I are waiting on you angel..."
M7*M7*M7
"What's he sayin'?" Buck asked.
"I can't make it out." Chris wrung out the rag in fresh water and laid it across Vin's forehead. "Vin? Can you hear me? I can't hear what you're sayin'." Lord please, don't let him be be trapped 'there' where he was so afraid to be. "You're safe here Vin, you're with us..."
"...don't go..." soft words forced through parched lips. "...don't leave me again..."
The words tore into Chris. "I ain't gonna leave you Vin. I'm here. Y'ain't alone. I ain't gonna leave you."
Buck thought more than words were needed and he leaned forward to lay a hand on Vin's head. "We're here Vin." He whispered. "You know we're here, we ain't gonna leave. Just hold on." M7*M7*M7
"Ma?" the light was fading, taking her with. "Don't go."
"Hold on angel...hold on."
"To what Ma? Hold on to what?" There was no answer and Vin tried to reach out for his mother, but his hand was tangled in the quilt. "Hold on to what?"
M7*M7*M7
'Lord, please, don't be lettin' him have a fit' Chris thought - prayed - as Vin began to fidget under the blankets. Seemed like he was trying to pull the covers down, and he was saying something else.
"I can't hear what he's sayin' now." He told Buck.
"...'hold on'... that's what he's sayin'... 'hold on'..." Buck looked square at Chris, silently insisting that he understand what Buck was sure Vin was asking.
Chris looked at his hands. They were old hands, fingers thickened with work, calluses and scars criss-crossed them, these were not gentle hands. They were hands that could comfort a sick person - could they keep someone from dying? He pushed the blankets aside and found another hand, rough, scarred and callused. Chris gently laid his hand on top of Vin's and curled his fingers around.
"I'm holdin' on Vin. I ain't gonna let go. I'm holdin' on. I expect you to do the same."
M7*M7*M7
"Ma?" The bright light wavered a moment, holding steady just outside the door.
"You're not coming angel. It isn't your time. Your friends need you. You hold on angel. They'll see you home."
"Please don't leave me Ma. You left me 'n I was all alone. I don't wanna be alone again Ma. Please."
"You hold on angel..." her words echoed lightly in the cabin.
"Hold on to what Ma? I ain't got nothin' to hold onto."
"It isn't your time..."
"Please..." he begged her. "I ain't got nothin' to hold onto. Please Ma - please stay with me." And the light stayed where it was, outside the cabin door.
"Your Papa and I are waiting on you angel..."
M7*M7*M7
"You shoulda seen him Chris..." Buck had told this story before, but it bore repeating. "When we's headed out to get you from that hellhole prison, that old Sheriff had Vin dead to rights that he was a wanted man - Vin just sat there cool as anything. Knew we'd back his play, and we did. That Sheriff didn't know whether t'piss 'r git."
They both laughed softly, but it was an aching feeling, like telling stories at a wake. Buck had lit a lamp against the gathering twilight; he still sat on the floor.
"Heard you weren't too neighborly to the store keep neither." Chris remembered the story.
"Well...he was a mite slow in openin' up the display case your rig was settin' in. I just decided to help him out." Buck grinned, but it didn't last and he turned his eyes to Vin. "I reckon we coulda done it without him." He nodded to the still figure. "But I can't fancy it."
Chris still held Vin's hand. He was nearly over the awkwardness he felt in doing it. It'd been different when Vin was delirious and lashing out blindly - taking his hand then was to protect him, keep him from hurting himself. This - this was plain comfort that Chris wasn't even sure Vin was aware of. He kept his fingers still, afraid to be seen even brushing his thumb over the back of Vin's hand. Every once in a while he gave a reassuring squeeze, but if Buck had noticed or asked about it, Chris was prepared to say it was unintentional.
Buck noticed, but knew better than to mention it.
"Same way with Fowler..." Chris said. "Vin was just there, doin' what he knew had to be done." Chris looked Vin over, again, wanting to see any encouraging sign. But aside from the fact that he kept breathing, there wasn't any.
"He's a whole lot smarter'n he gives himself credit for." Buck said. "...'n he matters a whole lot more than he figures to a whole lot more people than he realizes....why, just countin' the female population a' this town. There's Nettie, Miz Potter, Mary, Casey, Miz O'Brien..."
"Abby." Chris had to put in. He'd told Buck the story.
"Ha! Yeah, poor girl. Little pitchers got big ears - big mouths too!"
And Vin stayed pale, still, and dying on the bed.
M7*M7*M7
If she hadn't been escorted by one of the peacekeepers of the town, Nettie would've gotten a citation for speeding her horse and buggy through the muddy street, followed on horseback by Josiah who was doing his best to keep up. She jerked her horse to a stop, the buggy skidding off-center, and she ran up the stairs without even hitching the horse to a post. She didn't stop till she was through the door and right at the end of the bed.
"He still with us?" Her worry gave a hoarse edge to her voice.
"Yes Ma'am...barely." Buck stood up to bring the other chair over for her. Nettie saw Chris' face, and that he had Vin's hand in his own. She declined the chair.
"No, thank you Buck. Don't reckon I'll stay..." She walked to the head of the bed and bent down to lightly kiss Vin. "I'll be nearby." She whispered and drifted her fingers through his hair. When she straightened up, she said "You come get me, when it's time. I'll be at Mary's..."
Buck gave her a lot of credit, watching her walk out of the clinic, with not even a backward look. He knew she cared for Vin, hell - loved him like he was her own, no doubt. But she walked out to let Chris be the one with Vin as he died.
M7*M7*M7
"Ma?"
"We're waiting on you angel."
"I'm so tired Ma...can I just sleep a little?"
"You have to hold on."
"Hold on to what Ma?" Vin was getting tired of her saying it but not explaining it. "I ain't got nothing'…" But his complaint was cut off as he heard another voice.
"You hold on there son...I'm figurin' there's words in you need speakin' and I aim to hear every last one of 'em...." Josiah? Vin tried to look around the cabin, he was so tired, but he didn't see anyone else.
The light began to fade again at the door way.
"MA! Please - don't go. Don't leave me here. Please - they'll hurt me..." The flowers had died in his hand, he clung to them anyway as they crumbled in his grasp. "Please..." his voice was a whisper. "I ain't got nothin' to hold onto..."
"Just hold onto me Vin, if you want to. I ain't goin' nowhere." JD? Still, there was no one else in the cabin.
"Ma?"
"Your friends will see you back angel. It's not your time..."
"I ain't got nothin' to hold onto..."
"You just hold onto what you do have now. You got us now. You got family now, and no matter what, you know we stand with you." Buck's voice this time, but Vin didn't even bother looking for him. He pressed his face into his pillow to not watch the light slowly fade from his sight.
"Ma..."
"I'm holdin' on Vin. I ain't gonna let go." Vin heard Chris' voice - and felt that warm strength enfolding his hand. "I'm holdin' on. I expect you to do the same." M7*M7*M7
Chris was overwhelmed when he felt Vin's fingers move in his own. Still, he kept his voice so calm that when he said Buck's name, his friend answered:
"Hold on a second there Chris, it's gettin' dark and I want to watch, make sure Miss Nettie gets to Mary's all right...okay, Josiah's with her now..." He shut the door over - still wanted fresh air in that room - and went to the bed.
"How is he?"
"He moved his fingers..."
"Well - that's good. Right?"
"I don't know..." Chris wanted it to be good, but he didn't want to hope too much. "Where's Nathan? Can you find him?"
"On my way." When Buck was gone, Chris put his other hand over Vin's.
"Hey Vin, y'in there? No more lollygaggin'. Y'been sick long enough. We're waitin' on you here y'know."
"...please..."
"Vin?" Chris was determined to get through the fever. He took the cup of water and, gingerly sliding his arm under Vin's shoulders, supported him upright enough to try sips out of the cup.
"...don't leave me...Ma..."
That made Chris take a look around the small room. He was beginning to believe in ghosts more and more. He knew the flickering shadows were caused by the lamplight, but his heart still pounded seeing them.
"Vin - can you hear me? Y'gotta try drinking some water...okay?" The first try just spilled, but on the second try Vin actually swallowed. 'Thank you Lord.' Chris thought. "Try some more." He was so careful not to give Vin too much, he didn't want to make him choke. The third sip went down easy as well.
"Chris?" His eyelids fluttered a few times, too tired to focus.
"Hey Vin. ..y'had us worried there..." Chris moved slightly so he could see Vin's face. "Didn't know if you was comin' back." He couldn't help grinning.
"Holdin' - holdin' on Chris..." It took two breaths to say it. "She said - to hold on." Even for the water, his voice was dry.
"Well, then you just go on ahead and hold on Vin. That's why I'm here." Chris set the cup on the other chair, and laid Vin back down onto the bed. He took Vin's hand into his own again. "You hold on...I ain't goin' anywhere."
To be continued