Ezra couldn't do it. He couldn't hold Vin still while Nathan used his scalpel to open the abscess more. It wasn't the overall revolting admixture of suppuration and gore that covered Vin - and threatened to cover Ezra. It wasn't Vin's weak struggling, it wasn't the heat from the candles mixed with the indescribable smell in the clinic making Ezra want to gag. It wasn't even the fear on Vin's face as he frantically looked around the small room for someone - for Chris - to help him. It was the way Vin's frail voice cracked as he begged "....please...somebody...please..." Nathan hadn't even gotten a look at the abscess yet, much less started to do anything. "...don't let him hurt me... please... somebody..."
As Nathan finished checking his instruments, and medical books, Ezra came to a sudden decision.
"I can't." He stood up abruptly, releasing his hold on Vin. "We may be putting ourselves in mortal peril by attempting this procedure in the presence of Mr. Larabee, but I will not be party to terrorizing a sick man."
" 'Terrorize?'" Nathan asked. "Ezra, I gotta get a look at it, if it ain't draining proper, I gotta open it."
A moment's pause while Ezra gathered his courage.
"I won't let you."
"What?" Nathan couldn't believe this was happening, how resolute Ezra stood before him.
"You boys mind tellin' me what the hold up is?" Nettie asked. "We gonna do this or not?"
Nathan shook his head and seemed ready to proceed with or without Ezra's help.
"Nathan..." Ezra put his hand on Nathan's arm to stop him.
"Ezra - I ain't gonna harm him, I gotta do this."
"I know you aren't going to harm him - but he doesn't know that. All he knows is that you are about to inflict pain on him and he's terrified. Surely you've been in similar situations..." Ezra knew Nathan had. "Will the physical benefit of ascertaining the state of his illness outweigh the probable damage inflicted on him emotionally if you proceed against his will?"
Nathan looked down at Vin. He was quiet now, but held himself stiff, like he was trying to judge the movement next to the bed. Yeah, Lord knew, Nathan'd been there, in danger of physical harm or even death, and no one to stand up for him...except that first day they were all together in town.
"All right Ezra, I won't do nothin'. Long as it seems to keep drainin', I'll leave him be."
"Thank you Mr. Jackson." Ezra breathed. Beside them, Nettie hmmpffed.
"Well, you better blow them candles out, seein's you don't need 'em. I declare, if I ran my farm the way you run this clinic, I'd be keeping horses in the hen house and planting potatoes by moonlight...well, we gonna get him cleaned up or leave him like he is?"
M7*M7*M7Buck walked half a step behind Chris, trying to keep an eye on him down the darkened street. He was tired, they both were. Buck was looking forward to peace and quiet and sleep. Now that it seemed Vin was on the mend, Buck figured he could sleep without jumping at every footstep, afraid that someone was coming to say that Vin had slipped away. He'd make Chris get some rest on the cot too, if he wouldn't leave the clinic, he'd have Nathan go get a decent night's sleep in a real bed and maybe, if Nettie was set on staying with Vin, Buck could do the same.
M7*M7*M7They trudged up the clinic stairs as Nathan walked out to dump a basin of water over the railing.
"What is it with you and Ezra anyway?" he asked Chris, who had no idea what he was talking about.
"What?"
"I'se gettin' set to look at that abscess, figured Vin'd be wore out enough he couldn't put up much of a struggle -"
"You didn't do that without me here?" Chris demanded. "I thought you'd wait for me - I never woulda left -" He was about to head into the clinic but Nathan stopped him.
"Hold on Chris - I didn't touch him..." Then he said the thing that none of them, himself included, could believe. "Ezra wouldn't let me."
There was a definite moment of surprised silence.
"Ezra." Chris finally said, his voice flat with disbelief.
"Ezra." Nathan repeated.
"Kept you from treating a patient." Buck said.
"Yep. Ezra. Vin was scared and calling for help. Ezra said it wouldn't be right to scare him anymore. "
Buck just shook his head, and Chris was too tired to do even that. The three of them turned and went into the little room.
M7*M7*M7
Ezra was gathering up the laundry, looking decidedly pale in the glow of lamplight. JD and Nettie were getting Vin settled on his side again. Vin caught sight of Chris and the pain and anxiety in his face cleared as he looked at his friend expectantly. He could see Chris pretty clear, though his eyes were kinda dry. He recognized him and remembered his name, only his throat hurt too bad to try to say it out loud.
First thing through the door, Chris' eyes and footsteps had gone to Vin. He grinned when he saw that Vin was awake and paying attention.
" It's 'bout time you woke up Tanner. You slept away two whole days. Think it's about time you got back to work?"
Vin nodded. He wanted to close his eyes, but didn't want to lose sight of Chris. He followed with his eyes as Chris came to sit on the edge of the bed. Nettie resumed her chair next to them.
"How you doin' Vin? Still hurts?"
Another nod.
"Nathan give you anything for it?"
No...Vin shook his head.
"You gonna LET Nathan give you anything for it?"
Vin took awhile to answer, finally nodded. Then took a stabbing breath to rasp: "Won't gargle though, that's for damn sure."
There was scattered laughter and a sigh of mock annoyance from Nathan as he got the medicine ready. Buck put his arm around JD's shoulders. "You go on home now JD, you look 'bout ready to drop. Been sleepin' out on this porch two nights now...go on home and get some sleep."
"OK. I'll be back in the morning."
"Thanks JD, for all your help." Nathan told him. Having JD there had made it a lot easier to take care of Vin. Chris turned to smile his thanks as well, and saw that Ezra was preparing to leave.
"Hold on Vin, I'll be right back. Just gotta talk to Ezra."
The look on Ezra's face showed that he was a trifle concerned at the prospect that Chris Larabee wanted to 'talk' with him, but they went onto the porch together.
"Just wanted to thank you for standin' up for Vin in there. Nathan told me. I wouldn't have let Nathan do anything Vin didn't want him to. I 'preciate that you did the same."
Now Ezra's face clearly showed his confusion and self-consciousness.
"Yes, well, umm..." He finally gave into the truth. Meeting Chris' eyes, he said plainly: "I know what it's like to be alone."
Chris accepted this and nodded. "Y'ain't alone no more Ezra..." Then he turned and went back to Vin. Ezra stood there several long moments, frozen in disbelief, before following JD to home and sleep. He whistled as he walked down the darkened street.
M7*M7*M7
Three a.m. and Josiah couldn't sleep. He believed that when a person couldn't sleep, it meant that someone else was in need of one of the spiritual or corporal works of mercy. Right now he figured that could be only one person, so he got up, got dressed, and made his way to Nathan's clinic.
He'd stayed away most of the day, mostly to keep out of Nathan's way since so many other people seemed to be traipsing in and out of there so often. JD kept him informed of Vin's progress, each report of improvement another prayer answered.
He could see a light through the clinic window so he knew someone was sitting up with Vin - Chris or Nettie, or both. To his surprise, when he opened the door, Josiah discovered it was neither - Chris was asleep on the cot, and Nettie was asleep in the chair. That wouldn't do, so Josiah gently woke her up.
"Josiah - what time is it?"
"It's about three in the morning Miz Wells. Think it's about time I took you back to Mary's and you get yourself some real sleep, I'll stay with Vin the rest of the night. Come back tomorrow when you and Vin can both be awake at the same time."
"I can take myself Josiah." she said as she stood up from the chair. "I don't want that boy alone."
"Ma'am, Chris has got one ear open right now, if Vin so much as blinks, he'll know. I am not about to let a lady walk these streets alone at this time of night."
Nettie chuckled a little at being called 'a lady'. She checked Vin one last time, made sure the lamp was secure on the table, ran a quick eye over Chris, then let Josiah escort her down to the newspaper.
M7*M7*M7
Lord, the air was heavy in that clinic. Vin woke up slowly, feeling himself having to pull each breath in. It wasn't that he couldn't breathe, it was that he didn't want to. The heat and the smells and the just plain staleness of the air was powerful; he'd give anything right now to have fresh air. He listened for the sounds in the room, just soft breathing across the way. Chris. He'd slept near him enough times on the trail to recognize him, and to recognize that he was deeply asleep. Maybe, just maybe, if he was real quiet, he could sneak out onto the balcony and Chris wouldn't hear a thing.
Vin got as far as pushing the blankets back and was too wore out to anything else. So he lay on his back and stared at the shadows cast on the ceiling by the oil lamp. He was still determined to get out into the fresh air, he just was gonna have to do it a little bit at a time.
To Be Continued