A/N: First I'd like to apologize for more or less dropping SP for the past six months. Another fandom has sort of been eating my brain, if this drabble is any indication. But, um, hopefully this will jump-start my involvement here once again! Eheheh.

Argument Against Password Protection

There were times when Kyle severely wished that he were not a fan of the Harry Potter series. Or at least, that he did not share the unfortunate fandom with the fatass. Stan and Kenny he had no problem with, but Cartman just had to turn everything into a huge fucking issue.

"NO, Kahl! You can't be the Slytherin! I am!"

Kyle just rolled his eyes. "As much as I'd loathe being Sorted the same as you, there's no rule saying we can't be in the same House." He tried to remain calm and logical, even though he knew perfectly well that at any moment Cartman's growing tantrum would bait his ire.

"Like that evenmatters," Cartman huffed with all the self-importance he could muster. "You're obviously a book-wormy Ravenclaw, or a goody-two-shoes Hufflepuff."

"Okay, what the fuck, dude? First of all, Hufflepuffs have ethics - you know, those things you're incapable of comprehending. And Ravenclaws have a thirst for knowledge, while all you've got is your piglike appetite for unhealthy, grease-coated foods, you fucking fatass!"

"Don't you call me fat you fucking Jew!"

And so the argument devolved into petty insults and eventually a fistfight, as was usually the case between the two, ending with Cartman storming off and telling Kyle to go screw himself.

Stan just stared after Cartman and shook his head. "Did it really matter all that much? It's just a book series, dude."

"It's the principle of the matter, Stan," Kyle tried to explain as they began to walk back to his house. "He may be a manipulative bastard, but that gives him no right to tell me what I am or where my strengths lie."

This just earned him a sideways glance from his best friend. "And you think that Slytherin suits you best, then?" But he said it with a teasing air, not incredulous at all, since he knew Kyle well enough to know exactly what he thought of himself.

"Either that, or Hufflepuff," Kyle admitted with a shrug. "Slytherpuff? Whatever."

That made Stan grin. "Do I get to be a Gryffinpuff?"

"Pfft, no, you're completely Gryffindor." He jostled Stan's shoulder as he met his grin with one of his own.

"Yeah, right! You're just saying that because of your thing for Gryffindors," Stan pointed out, his grin turning to a triumphant smirk when his words managed to cause noticeable heat to rise in Kyle's cheeks. "But that's all right, isn't it? Because Slytherins are known for their strange kinks."

It was rather fortunate for Stan that they'd just managed to reach the house at that point. Otherwise, he might have found himself pushed down behind the nearest cover for the intense effect that had on Kyle.

Sometimes, Stan thought, it really paid off to be familiar with his boyfriend's extensive porn collection.