The descent of the plane into Italy felt like a descent into hell. I sat lost in my own thoughts for the countless hours of the flight, never sleeping, almost never blinking, reliving the last days of my life. For that is what these surely are, my last days. It doesn't seem fair that I should get to live any longer after my wildest dream came true. Edward came back. He may have came too late, but he came none the less. I can die happy knowing that in my death he will be free from slavery to the Volturi. I am happy I saw his face again.
I am definitely not looking forward to this death, I am sure it will be long and painful. Demetri will assure that. I take comfort that my death will free Edward, free him of the obligation to join this evil coven.
It is this small comfort that keeps me from going crazy on the spot. My mind is reeling with the events of the last several hours. My capture, Jacob's death, Edward's return, Demetri's emergence, Rosalie's betrayal. She sat next to me the whole flight, silent and motionless, a stone sentinel. As if I had anywhere to go. In what I knew were my last hours, I thought about the implications of Edward's sudden return.
Why?
Why did he come back at that moment? I assume Alice saw my capture before hand, but if she could see that….why didn't someone warn me about the tornado that almost destroyed me in February? Did they only care if I was killed by their kind? Edward told me he couldn't stand trying to be human anymore. He said I could never understand him, never truly grasp what he has been through. He said we were too different for our relationship to work. He left me in the woods, with a whispered promise to never see me again. He said he was sorry he didn't love me anymore and left. I don't understand what would bring him back now.
It must be that twisted facet of his pride. That dark side of him that he hardly ever let show. He tried to hide it, but subtly I could tell that he was so arrogant that he believed everyone's problems were his fault – not because he was compassionate and blamed himself, but because he truly believed that he impacted everyone's lives that much. Well, my current predicament was definitely his fault.
I guess he felt some far-reaching moral obligation to attempt to save me. Edward and his morals.
But arrogant and cold, I love him anyway.
When I heard his voice across that road in Oklahoma, every particle in my body strained to reach him. I tried to rip myself away from Demetri's steel grasp and go to him. My arms are covered in nasty, purple bruises as a result. I ache all over from the fight, hitting the Tahoe, and being held by multiple over-zealous vampires. The worst injury I'm dealing with now is the stinging crescent wound on my neck. It can't be bleeding or I would definitely be dead right now, but it is scraped and what little venom made it into my neck is burning like fire.
Closed or open, his face swims before my eyes like a haze – his angel's face contorted with fury, his eyes as black as yawning chasm, but burning with the power of ten thousand suns. Black fire rains down on me from this vision. I'm happy that I saw him one last time before my death, but saddened that my last glimpse of my love was of the dark, feral being that exemplifies all my fears about what he is. I'll never hear him laugh again. His laugh was a magical sound, contagious and merry. He had so many different kinds of laughs; the sharp bark of humor when he would find something ironic, the low chuckle I heard every time I would do something a little too much like a typical human, the short stream of laughter that always followed when Emmett would pick on –her, and my favorite, the long string of deep bell tones when he found something truly hilarious. It would light up his face, making him seem more human than vampire. For a minute I would forget that he could kill me with just a twitch of his hand.
So I sat there and remembered his laugh, his voice, and our happiest memories together because they didn't hurt anymore. How could these memories hurt me when I would cease to exist in a few days anyway. Remembering his face before my death seemed to be becoming a pattern in my short life.
So the story didn't really progress, except that Bella is now in Italy. I thought a good look into Bella's head would be helpful in understanding the rest of the story. Again, sorry it took so long to update – life has definitely got in the way. But my Fall Break is next week, hopefully I can kick out a few more chapters. And always – REVIEW!! Let me know what ya'll think should happen from this point! I'd love to know where you think the story is going.