OMG! It's like Christmas came late :D You made me so happy with the lots of reviews :D I hope you will like this one, too. I try to show both sides of the coin, not like I think that would help Tim :LOL: The next chapter will be kinda shocking so review if you wanna read it soon ;)
betareader: Fleur LB
song: It doesn't matter by Alison Krauss
CHAPTER 12
LET IT BE
Alex laid on Jason and Herc's couch, grinning as she listened to their fight. Those two always could find something they could disagree about and it had only gotten worse since they moved in together. Though Alex didn't mind, it was fun listening to them and they kept her busy so she didn't think about other things.
"I'm going to have a drink now," Herc yelled, rolling out, shutting the door hard.
"Unbelievable," Jason mumbled.
"I'm having a party next Saturday, to celebrate my new place," Alex said.
"And you want me to be there?" Jason asked.
"No, I invited the Queen of England so you can't come since you aren't a lord," Alex groaned.
"I just asked," Jason answered, rolling his eyes.
"Well, don't ask dumb questions. Bring Herc, too, you two are fun," Alex laughed.
"Hey, Six," Tim rushed into the room, causing Alex to almost choke. "Didn't know you were here," Tim smirked when he saw Alex.
"Didn't know you were coming," Alex answered, getting up from the couch.
Jason moved his gaze between them, realizing something wasn't right. They stood there, glaring at each other like they were ready to beat each other any minute.
"How is Billy?" Alex asked, breaking the tensed silence.
"Why don't you go and ask him? You are such great friends, aren't ya?" Tim said, probably meaning Alex asked Billy to help her carry over her stuff to her new place.
"Whatever," Alex shrugged. "Don't forget Saturday," she pointed at Jason before leaving but not without sending one nasty look to Tim.
"What was that?" Jason asked as the door closed and Tim sat on the couch.
"What?" Tim asked, dumbly.
"Don't play with me, Tim. I know you, something is up with you two," Jason looked at Tim sharply.
"Fine. It's just the usual," Tim shrugged, bored.
"Oh, no. Stop lying to me. It isn't the usual. I saw the way you looked at each other. It's far from usual," Jason pushed, knowing something definitely was wrong.
"You slept with her," Jason said with wide eyes when Tim didn't said anything. "You did, didn't ya?"
"And what if I did?" Tim answered, edgy.
"You idiot! I told ya don't do it," Jason raised his voice. "Are you out of your mind? What the hell is wrong with you?! Can't you see Alex is dancing on the edge and the weakest breeze can push her down?! And then you go and sleep with her to leave her right after it for Lyla?!"
"It wasn't like that," Tim groaned.
"Then tell me, Tim what it was like? Because it surely looks like that to me," Jason asked angrily.
When Jason told Tim not to start anything with Alex, he did it exactly because of this, because he knew something would go wrong. He knew both of them too well to think they could be together like normal people. All those scars they had and the walls they built made it almost impossible for them to get together.
"We had a fight, then we made out, Lyla came in the morning, telling me she decided to give me a chance, I told her I'd got some things to take care of so we could talk later. And then Alex was already gone and she was a complete bitch when I finally found her. So yes, I got together with Lyla," Tim shrugged, pretending he didn't care at all. "What should have I done? Beg her or what?"
"You'd better go," Jason shook his head.
"Are ya kickin' me out?" Tim raised an eyebrow, surprised.
"Yes, Tim, I'm kicking you out before I say something that I'll regret. Like I hope you know that if something happens to Alex, you will be a big part of it," Jason said, looking hard at Tim.
"Nothing is going to happen with her," Tim stated, swallowing hard as he made his way out.
He didn't want to think about it. Alex was as strong as iron. And what the hell? It wasn't like he dumped her, she was the one who said what happened meant nothing.
Alex stood leaning against her car in front of the school, waiting for Tyra so they could go to Applebees together. Mrs. Taylor kept her promise and suspended Alex for a month and Alex was almost happy about it.
At least she had some time to relax now that she didn't have to go to school. Also, it was worth it. She'd wanted to hit Lyla for such a long time ago. Landry said Tyra laughed hysterically when she saw Lyla with the purple spots around her eyes. Well, that was one helluva punch, Alex smiled to herself.
"What are ya smiling at?" Tyra asked, waving to Alex.
"Just thinking about my fantastic right hook," Alex answered, laughing.
"I still can't forgive you that I missed it. I told ya to tell me when you beat her up," Tyra said with fake anger in her voice.
"Next time I'll send you an invitation." Alex grinned.
"Tyra," Landry called, walking toward them with Tim at his side.
"I wanted to give you the papers before you go to work," Landry mumbled, digging in his bag.
"Sawyer," Tim smirked, stopping in front of them.
"Riggins," Alex made a face, pulling her sunglasses to her eyes.
"Clarke," Landry grinned, dumbly as he gave the papers to Tyra, not noticing the tension in the air.
"Alex, can I talk to you for a sec?" Tyra grabbed Alex and started to pull Alex away.
"What's going on?" Tyra looked at Alex, sharply when they were a few feet away.
"I dunno, you tell me," Alex shrugged, bored.
"Alexandra Meredith Sawyer, I've been your best friend since we were seven so don't even try to play dumb with me. What's going on with you and Tim?"
"Tyra, you're imagining things," Alex rolled her eyes.
"Oh my God, you slept with him, didn't you?!" Tyra raised her voice, causing Tim and Landry to turn toward them.
"Jesus, woman, no need to freak out," Alex groaned. "It's not big deal. It isn't like I wanna marry him. We fucked and that's it."
"You… You're out of your mind. And honestly, I watched you for days and if you ask me you are far from okay."
"Well, then good thing I don't," Alex started away. "Are you comin' or what?" Alex asked Tyra, sitting in her car.
It was Friday night and Alex was at the party at the Riggins' house, celebrating the Panthers' latest win. She danced with a guy, alcohol already running through her body. Anger overwhelmed her when she arrived and saw Tim with Lyla so she decided to call it a whiskey night again.
"Hey, do you wanna leave?" she asked the guy with her hottest smile on her face.
"Sure," the guy grinned at her. "I'll go and get my car."
"'Kay, I'll meet you outside," Alex said.
After she found Tyra and told her she was leaving, Alex was on her way out when somebody grabbed her arm.
"What do you think you are doing?" Tim looked at her narrowly.
Alex moved her gaze between Tim's eyes and his hand on her arm.
"Are you sure you wanna do this now?" she cocked her head to the side, pulling her arm out of Tim's hold. "Because I got a feeling you managed to hide your little scars from your precious love," she grinned wickedly, leaning close to Tim, her hand wandering to his back.
"I don't think you wanna let her know her newly reformed boyfriend wasn't such a good boy," she whispered to him, her hands leaving trails of electricity as her finger tips brushed against the scratched she'd left on him, causing Tim to swallow hard.
Tim's eyes searched for Lyla, finding her watching them cautiously. Alex followed Tim's gaze, then nodded slightly.
"Thought so," she said, stepping back from Tim. "Have a nice night, cherry pie," she patted him on the shoulder and started out, leaving Tim staring after her.
Alex sat in the car with the guy she hooked up on the party. His hands wound to her thigh and Alex started to feel sick.
What was she doing there? She didn't even know his name. Not like that caused a problem in the past. Why did it now? As his hands wound further, Alex felt like screaming.
"Stop the car," she command, pushing the guy's hand away.
"What?" he looked at her, dumbly.
"I said stop the car," Alex yelled at him.
"Okay, fine. God," the guy groaned, stepping on the brake.
Alex jumped out of the car at the moment it stopped and shut the door.
"Bitch," the guy yelled to her as he drove away.
She stood next to the road, trying to light a cigarette with her shaky hand. Alex looked at the sky as rain started to fall silently. She curled her arms around herself, shivering from the cold drops touching her bare skin.
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
She started to sing quietly and put away the cigarette. Her anger disappeared, loneliness taking its place.
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
Tears slowly rolled down her cheek as started to walk home.
You've been on a road
Don't know where it goes or where it leads
She would lose him anyway. Certainly she wasn't the influence Lyla would want around her boyfriend. And people always leave, that's the way they are, Alex thought.
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
If you've made up your mind to go
I won't beg you to stay
If Tim wanted to go, then let it be. She wouldn't grovel. It wouldn't do any good anyway just made her feel more miserable.
You've been in a cage
Throw you to the wind you fly away
She tried to tie him to her and it didn't help, he still left her.
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Doesn't matter if I bleed
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this face you've loved for years
Alex was thankful nobody could see her, she didn't need anybody's pity. Nothing could touch her heart until now and she wasn't about to let herself break down. She'd cry away her pain tonight and tomorrow would be a whole new day.