Arbiter 2.5

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ranger: Okay after a recent death threat from gruntlord I am going to reveal the thing I censored last chapter.

Seamus: Hooray!

Rolo'mono: Yippe.

Ranger: The Arbiter after halo 3 went looking for his unknown father. Well he found him.

Seamus: Well who the hell is it?

Ranger: This may creep some people out but… The father…

Rolo'mono/Seamus: Yes.

Ranger: Of the Arbiter.

Rolo'mono/Seamus: Yes!

Ranger: Non other than!

Rolo'mono/Seamus: YES!!!

Ranger: One…

Chibiskitty, Gruntlord, Lord Mandolore, and seven million other fans of halo: Get on with it!

Ranger: Okay geeze can't a guy have a little fun? The father is blue army private Lavernius Tucker.

Out side the studio several cars crash, babies stop crying, an old man drops dead of a heart attack, and Tucker fangirls commit suicide. Rolo'mono and Seamus are having an anime jaw drop. Then they burst out laughing. They both fall to the ground laughing so hard. They finally stop to minutes later.

Ranger: Guys seriously Tucker is the Arbiter's father.

Seamus: That's impossible.

Ranger: Oh really?

Rolo'mono: Tucker Junior was onboard the pelican that exploded in the final episode of red vs blue remember.

Ranger: Ah but there is a flaw with your logic. The actual explosion appeared after the ship jumped. Thus in the freaky laws of physics breaking world of slipstream Andy's explosion sent Junior into the past and right to high charity. See it makes sense.

Seamus pulled out a book of the laws of physics trying to find some flaw in Ranger's logic.

Seamus: Dear god it makes sense.

Rolo'mono: How did you find out?

Ranger: Elementary dear gentlemen. As I was saying, The Aribter hit his head when he arrived in high charity wiping blarg speech from his brain thus covenant dialect became his first language. I also discovered that when you say something remotely sexual around him he replies well… Hey Arbiter!

Arbiter: What?

Ranger: I need you to help me watch everyone's ass in my halo fanfic.

Arbiter: Bow-chicka-honk-honk. Damn! Where'd that come from?

Yayap: It's called suppressed memories jackass.

Arbiter: DIE TRAITOR!!

Arbiter rips of Yayap's mask and cuts Yayap's groin off with his energy sword.

Ranger grinned at the incredulous Seamus and Rolo'mono

Seamus: Holly fuck.

Ranger: Yeah and he's only just found out his fathers dating Yuffie Kissagri.

Rolo'mono: From final Fantasy seven?

Ranger: Bingo.

Seamus: How'd that happen?

Ranger breaks into tears.

Seamus: What the?

Ranger: The guy who wrote the story took it off! Now I had to carry this mixed pairing into the Cartoon Crossovers section. It's been picked up as well by Chibiskitty.

Rolo'mono: I thought he was dating Grif's Sister?

Ranger: Nah she was just a fab. She still wants him though. Trust me, she and Yuffie have had some awesome cat fights. Most of which end in both of them out cold.

Seamus: Sweat.

Ranger: Okay that's about all the time we have. So I'm Ranger24.

Seamus: I'm Seamus.

Rolo'mono: I'm Rolo'mono… Wait since Tucker gave birth doesn't that make him the mom?

Long silence. Ranger shrugs.

Ranger: Anyways read and review. Next time for real The Keyes Family: Oh my god! They killed Keyes!

Rolo'mono: YOU BASTARDS!

Long silence.

Rolo'mono: Sorry.