Ranger24: Sorry for the delay in updates lately. My younger brothers been hogging the computer lately because of all the rain.

Warning! Sexual innuendos are in this chapter. Weman may be insulted.

PS Don't hate me Chibi.

Cortana: Annoying Angel.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Rolo'mono: Now we get to the leading lady riding shot gun with Master Chief. Cortana

Seamus: Meow.

Rolo'mono: What the?

Seamus: What a robot can't think an AI is sexy?

Rolo'mono: Didn't even know you guys had sex.

Seamus: Like your kind do?

Rolo'mono: Yeah we have concealed…!

Ranger24: Rolo'mono! This is a rated T story! Please refrain from describing sangheli mating rituals!

Rolo'mono: Sorry. As I was saying…

Seamus: You weren't saying anything.

Rolo'mono: Right. Cortana is an artafical intelligence construct and the defacto sex icon of halo!

Ranger24: Rolo!

Rolo'mono: What?

Ranger24: Don't make me have to bring in a guest speaker for this!

Rolo'mono: Like who?

Ranger24: You don't want to know.

Rolo'mono: Okay then… Cortana was created like all AI's from analyzed human remains turned into an actual three dimesonal computerized persona.

Seamus: In English split lip!

Rolo'mono: She's a computer program made from an actual human.

Seamus: Oh.

Rolo'mono: Technically your AI was made in the same manner.

Seamus: Cool maybe I should call her up…

Rolo'mono: Why the douche would she sleep with you? Further more I'm not sure AI's can have sex!

Suddenly a trap door opens up below Rolo'mono who groans.

Rolo'mono: Oh f3k berries.

He falls into a through the trap door and down into nothingness for all time! Or atleast until the chapter ends either or.

Ranger24: Okay subbing for Rolo'mono is Chibi Skitty Dona's Kingdom hearts OC Xibchi.

Xibchi: Why the hell am I doing this again when I can be making Chibi miserable?

Ranger24: Because your getting paid ten bucks a chapter.

Seamus: Wait, she gets paid?

Ranger24: Okay just read whatever I've written.

Xibchi: Whatever ahole.

Ranger24: Bitch.

Xibchi: Okay basically Cortana's this little annoying computer program who is capable of using an entire ship by herself but relies on the Master Chief for survival.

Seamus: Yeah that's kinda the way it is with most video games.

Xibchi: SEXIST!

Seamus: Oh shut up girly before a shove a tear gas grenade down your throat!

Xibchi: Okay geeze calm down.

Seamus puts away the tear gas grenade.

Xibchi: Cortana was created from the cloned brain of the head of the Spartan program Dr Katherine Hasley. So basically she was a much younger version.

Seamus: …. Damnit.

Xibchi: What?

Seamus: I'm out'ta lines.

Xibchi: So what?

Seamus: Well there goes the comedy!

Xibchi: Well make it up bolt head!

Seamus: Okay I will try. Beer me!

Xibchi tosses Seamus a beer.

Xibchi: Okay Cortana was produced to participate in a top secret mission. Design to overthrow the covenant empire.

Seamus starts chugging the beer down then grabs another.

Xibchi: The mission was to infiltrate a covenant ship fill it with the Spartans. Then take it to high charity and capturing the prophets. However reach was attacked before hand and the mission was scraped.

Seamus is still drinking!

Xibchi: After the battle of reach in which the autumn was able to kill an assault carrier, a regular carrier, and an unknown number of other ships she jumped the ship to halo using coordinates found by Master Chief on sigma octanus.

Seamus is on his fourth keg!

Xibchi: Okay dude stop drinking! You'll kill yourself.

Ranger24: Actually he's like Bender from futurama. He needs beer to survive he runs better on more.

Xibchi: Oh. Okay. On halo she and Captain Keyes were able to destroy four of a dozen covenant cruisers before the ships MAC cannon is disabled. She was loaded into the master chief's armor to escape. Which is something she was designed to be able to do.

Seamus is now drinking from a truck tankers worth of beer a bunch of marines are cluster around him!

Marines: GO! GO! GO!

Xibchi: On halo Cortana was instrumental in saving humanity by stopping Master Chief from using the index to activate halo. Then she helped Master Chief destroy halo using the pillar of autumn's fusion reactors as a bomb.

Seamus is now drinking from a friging oil tanker!!

Xibchi: During the journey back to earth Cortana was able to help Master Chief and the surviving Spartans destroy five hundred covenant ships and capture a lot of covenant tech and 3000 covenant engineers.

Seamus is now drinking from a friging death star size beer keg!

Xibchi: OH MY GOD!!! STOP DRINKING YOU'LL KILL YOURSELF!!!

Seamus empties the death star.

Seamus: Okay I'm good to go. By the way why are you such an annoying bitch?

Xibchi: Oh you little!

Seamus: Little? I'm a seven foot tall Spartan armor clad robot!

Xibchi: I'll…!

Seamus: Do what? Insult me? Complain to the author? Cry?

Xibchi: …

Seamus: Oh you got pwned biyatch.

Ranger24: Seamus, ease up a bit. She's a friend of mines oc.

Seamus: Oh shut up.

Ranger24: Seamus! Don't make me shut you down!

Seamus: You don't have the guts!

Rolo'mono: But I do!

Everyone whirls around to see Rolo'mono standing behind them energy sword in hand covered in blood and for some reason lipstick marks?

Seamus: Where the hell does that trap door go?

Ranger24: A pit full of fangirls.

Rolo'mono: WITH THE TENTECAL FETISH!

Ranger24: Rolo!

Rolo'mono: I just killed thousands of crazy fan girls! I think I have the right to be pissed off!

Ranger24: Rolo calm down.

Seamus: Yeah don't go ape on us.

Rolo'mono: How dare you compare me to those dumb brutes! They are raised in Chuckie cheese's and have the intelligence of toilet paper!

Flashbback:

We see a Tarturus and a roll of toilet paper on some big game show.

Host: Okay Tarturus, you can win fifty million dollars if you can name the five basic food groups.

Tarturus: Okay um… Human, Garden hose, pizza, cotton candy, and my uncle?

Host: Umm… No. Mr. Toilet paper you've just won fifty million dollars!

End flashback.

Seamus: Man that so fits you.

Rolo'mono: DIE!!

Rolo'mono tackles Seamus and they started fighting like nerds. Ranger and Xchibi have a massive anime sweat drop.

Ranger24: We'll that's kinda weird.

Xchibi: Eh I've seen more.

Ranger24: Okay just finish it.

Xchibi: Okay Cortana was implanted on the UNSC orbital MAC platform the Cairo Station at earth. During the battle of earth she destroyed at least four covenant heavy cruisers. She ten held master chief disarm a bomb and then use the said bomb to destroy a covenant assault carrier.

Ranger24: Kick ass.

Xchibi: She was then able to help Master Chief on delta halo until she was captured by the flood on high charity.

Rolo'mono: DIE!!

Ranger24: Settle down over there.

Xchibi: She was finally rescued by Master Chief and escaped with the Chief and the Arbiter and made for the newly rebuilt halo and… What the??

Ranger24: Oh yeah sorry that's the spoiler block. I can't disclose any end of halo 3 information until I finish my parody on it.

Xchibi: Oh.

Ranger24: So next time. It's the Spartans: PREPARE FOR GLORY! Read and review.