Spartans: Prepare for glory
Spartans: Prepare for glory!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Ranger24: Hi everyone, before we start this chapter I'd like to introduce one of our new narrators he's one of my newest OCs. So everyone give a big Why humanity won the war welcome to Kanton Uchiha. Son of Sasuke Uchiha, come back from the future to stop something terrible.
A young man in his early teens enters. He has green eyes, spiky black, a blue shirt, white pants, and a fan shaped symbol on his back.
Kanton: Hi.
Ranger24: Okay now let's start the chapter!
Que: 300 music.
Rolo'mono: The Spartans are descended from Hercules himself, taught never to retreat, never to surrender, taught that death on the battle field in service to humanity and earth was the greatest glory that can be achieved in this life. Spartans, the finest soldiers the galaxy has ever known!
Seamus: Basicly, they kick ass!
Kanton: Nice rewrite of what said in all of those 300 trailers.
Rolo'mono: Thank you. The Spartans were started with project Orion. Before the human Covenant war the Spartans were created to prevent an all out civil war in humanity's outer colonies. They were all kidnapped at the age of six, taken to Reach and for the next eight years they trained to become the greatest soldiers they could be.
Seamus: Little kids kicking ass? … I… Oh my god. MC kicked ass when he was eight years old!
Kanton: Duh. Let's roll the clip!
Flashback!
We see a much younger master chief surrounded by dead squirrels, several wrecked tanks, and a whole football team!
Master Chief: I kill noobs.
End Flashback.
Seamus: Shut it spiky that's my job to start clips.
Rolo'mono: At age fourteen they were given highly dangerous genetic modification to make them stronger, faster, even see in the dark!
Seamus: Cool! The Chief has night vision!
Kanton: So? I can watch a movie and remember every detail!
Seamus: Nobody cares.
Rolo'mono: However there was a high mortality rate among the Spartans during the augmentations. Nearly half died and 12 more were crippled for life.
Kanton: Damn.
Seamus: Shit.
Rolo'mono: The Spartans however became stronger when they received the MJLONEIR armor! It made them damn near invincible. In fact during their first time using it they took out a covenant warship.
Seamus: So?
Rolo'mono: With only one casualty.
Kanton and Seamus slumped their shoulders.
Seamus: Damn
Kanton: Holly…
Suddenly Kanton's phone rings.
Kanton: Hold on.
Kanton pulls out his blackberry and flicks it open.
Kanton: Hello… Hi mom… What? I wasn't going to curse! …No, I am not raising my voice to you… Yes I'll refrain from cursing… Love you to mom… See you at home… Bye.
Kanton flicks it off.
Kanton: Okay I'm good.
Rolo'mono: Okay, the Spartans proved there effectiveness against the covenant winning numerous ground engagements. During the main war only three Spartans were killed and one wounded. Until Reach that is.
Seamus: Ah yes the terrible battle of reach.
Kanton: What happened there again?
Rolo'mono: The majority of Spartans were sent ground side to hold the orbital MAC gun power generators. Of those who went groundside only six escaped alive. Four of those were then killed in later missions.
Seamus: Shit.
Kanton: Man that sucks.
Rolo'mono: Yeah but wait until you hear about the Spartan III's they…
Suddenly Ranger rushed in wearing a pilot's uniform.
Ranger24: Guys! We've got Grunt lords death star forty minutes away from killing us!
Rolo'mono: What!?
Ranger24: Too your fighters!
The four of them rush into three long swords and one Seraph fighter! Then they launch! Five minutes later they were heading at full speed towards the death star supported by eight Ompa Lompa's borrowed from lord Mandalore!
Ranger24: Okay we've all seen the movie! Head for the trench and blow this thing sky high!
All: Roger that!
Ompa Lompa 1: Grunt controlled TIE fighters inbound!
Ranger24: Roger that! Ompa Lompa group one! Suicide run on the trench, group two and three cover us!
Instantly all eight of the Ompa Lompa pilots were killed by Grunts, three of whom exit their ships and tea bag the Ompa Lompas only to die in the low pressure of space. The heros attack the death star and enemy fighters with missiles and plasma doing as much damage as they can! But the giant blowing ball won't die!
Kanton: Okay, you know what. I'm just going to nuke this thing.
Kanton dives his long sword into the trench! Suddenly Grunt Lord and his lackeys begin tailing him!
Rolo'mono: Watch out Grunts on your tail!
Kanton: What? Oh nuts!
Grunts begin to fire on him!
Kanton: Oh crap!
Keanu Reeves: Kanton, use the power of the one!
Kanton: What the hell are you talking about?
Keanu Reeves: Kid, trust me.
Kanton switches off his targeting computer and begins to dodge the laser rounds in slow motion.
Seamus: Little lad, you've switched off yer targeting computer what's wrong?
Kanton: Nothing I'm alright!
Grunt lord gets a lock on Kanton's tail!
Grunt lord: I have you now!
Ranger24: Yehaw!
Grunt lord: What?
Ranger flies in and pwns the grunt pilots and sends Grunt lord spiraling out of control!
Ranger24: You're all clear kid now let's blow this thing and go home!
Kanton fires a nova nuclear war head down the shaft.
Ranger24: Okay guys lets get out of here!
They speed away from the battle and get away mere seconds before the death star blows up in a giant nuclear fire ball!
Kanton: Yeah! We win!
Seamus: Suck it noobs!
Rolo'mono: Keanu Reeves was with us it was inevitable we would win!
Ranger24: Alright let's go home!
Several hours later…
Several lines of UNSC marines, elites, and UNSC naval personal stand at attention. At one end is Tenten from Naruto with Lord Hood at her side. Suddenly some ridiculously large doors open and our four heroes march down the isle. Ranger dressed like Han Solo, Kanton like Luke Skywalker, and Rolo'mono doing Chewbacca. Seamus, he's just Seamus.
Rolo'mono: Attention!
The marines, Naval personal, and elites turn to face Tenten and lord Hood. When the heroes reach the end Tenten and Lord Hood pin several medals on their chests then Rolo'mono roars the marines, elites, and naval guys cheer waving their hands in the air. And now some credits! Just kidding about the credits thing.
Back in the studio.
Rolo'mono: Okay the S III's were essentially cheap and efficient copies of the Spartan 2's normally numbering in the hundreds on each mission. They were trained on the planet onyx which turned out to be a whole lot of sentinels stacked together.
Seamus: Great I hate just one sentinel but a planet made of them. Now that sucks!
Kanton: Tell me about it.
Rolo'mono: Due to a crazy series of events, Master Chief was the only Spartan able to defend earth in halo 3. Which is why he is the big hero!
Kanton: Horray.
Seamus: Awesome.
Rolo'mono: Yeah. But the Spartans also have cross training in how to use every piece of UNSC equipment, it's just not all of them are useable in the game.
Kanton: Cool.
Seamus: I need a beer.
Ranger24: Okay that's the chapter! Next time it's the final character chapter!
Seamus: You mean?
Ranger24: Yes, next time, to quote lord Mandalore, Master Chief Spartan 117: The big Enchilada of the UNSC taco bell!
Kanton/Rolo'mono/Seamus: Hooray!
Ranger24: Read and review!
Rolo'mono: Hey Kanton.
Kanton: Yeah?
Rolo'mono: Who's your mother?
Kanton: Easy its…
Suddenly a falling Grunt hits Kanton in the back of the head!
Kanton: Son of a bitch!