FINALLY the second chapter! And WOW that thing was a pain in the ass to write! I hate rewriting stuff (kinda ironic, don't ya think?) because I get bored so easily while doing it, so writing the same situation again really bored the crap outta me. Anyway, I did it and I'm glad it's finally over. And this will officially be the LAST chapter repeating a former situation from a different POV. Next time I'll just continue where the last chapter stopped. I mean, I - and hopefully you- got what I/we wanted... Jamie's first day of school up to a certain point. I could've continued this chapter, but I think 4.500 words are more than enough.
Dedication: Team Edcob 4 Life (This is the last time I'll write this, just consider yourself a permanent dedication, okay?), who's actually my new beta.. And I'm sorry I didn't send it to you before posting it, but I just couldn't wait any longer. I promise that I'll send you the third chapter before posting it! Pinky promise! Thank you so much for always encouraging me to continue!
Second dedication: This goes out to aaaaaaaaaaaaall those people (not that many, but whatever) who read this and my other stories. I know you probably hate me by now because I'm not updating that often anymore, but I just can't. School really gets to me, my grades suck, I'm to lazy to study and to write. Sorry! Lucky for you I've been sick the past few days, so I had loads of time!
And the final dedication: To Tabi, a great friend of mine, who's always supporting me in everything I do! She's one of the nicest persons I know and she's just like a sister to me. We're so alike, it's creepy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and it's characters, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer! The only thing I own here are the characters you don't recognize... Like Jamie, Lindsey, her Mom... Etc.
So, here it iiiiiiiiiis! Read & Review!
I awoke with a start, my forehead damp with sweat and my heart pounding rapidly in my chest. Curling myself into a ball, I tried to shake off the repeating nightmare I'd just had. As usual, the effort was useless. I knew I had to face the memories again, but I wanted to put it off as long as possible and didn't allow myself to cry for about half an hour.
Taking a steadying breath, I let all the walls I'd built around the dreaded memories crumble to dust and recalled what had happened two months ago.
"Mom!", Lindsey yelled from the garage, her voice already starting to get whiney.
"I'm coming, honey," my Mom called back, taking off her gardeners gloves, and headed towards the extra building next to our house were the cars and bikes were.
A few minutes later she came back out and sighed, rubbing her forehead.
"What did she want?", I asked while plowing the flowerbed where my StarGazer Lilies were supposed to grow later.
Mom sighed again, "She didn't remember where she put her rollerblades."
I giggled softly, that was so Lindsey. I exactly remembered watching her put them on the top-shelf , right beside mine, just yesterday. But Lindsey was so forgetful... Well, let's say she would forget her head if it weren't screwed on.
"Jamie!", she yelled then, hopping out of the garage on one leg because the other one already wore a rollerblade. "You coming or what?"
I groaned, "Do I really have to? My muscles are still sore from yesterday."
"Stop complaining," she ordered, chucking a hand full of dirt at me.
I sneezed three times in a row, an aftereffect of getting dirt in my nose, making her laugh out loud.
"Payback's a bitch, Linds!", I yelled and quickly got up to leap at her.
Lindsey shrieked loudly and tried to run away, but her one rollerblade slowed her down, so she kicked it off and bolted, wearing only one shoe.
Just when she was about to cross the street in front of our house I saw a car approaching at full speed and yelled a warning. "Lindsey, watch out!", I called, frantically waving at her. She only snorted, believing I wanted to trick her into slowing down and continued crossing the street, still laughing.
The doctor later told us that she'd died the second the car crashed into her and that this was the reason for the bright smile on my dead sister's face. She hadn't even noticed anything. It went just like that... One second she was laughing and then, BAM, she was dead, the smile still on her face, engraved there for eternity.
"Lindsey," I whimpered and traced the bracelet we had bought together on our trip to Europe with my parents, almost ten years ago. She was wearing hers, too. I'd made sure they wouldn't take it away before burying her. Tears were streaming down my face as I tried to pull myself together. I didn't succeed. After a few minutes the sobs ragging through my body grew so loud that I had to press a pillow onto my face to stifle the noise. I didn't want my parents to hear me.
Sitting up to pulls my knees up to my chest, I hoped the pain would subside, that the hole in there would just heal. As usual, it didn't.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes it's like she's there, beside me, still alive. It's like I can feel her presence and then, I am completely at ease. Then it's like the hole in my chest never even existed in the first place. In those rare moments I always live in my own, personal and mute bubble. No sounds come in, no feelings, no smells. Nothing but Lindsey's presence and her sweet, floral scent. But after a few minutes the sounds of the world around me, the sounds of reality burst through my bubble and the moment is gone, leaving me to fall apart.
I seriously considered to just stay in bed and try to sleep for another while, but, despite the despair I felt inside of me, I knew I had responsibilities to care about. Like school.
With a soft sigh I got up and headed into the bathroom to take a shower.
The water pouring out of the showerhead was too hot, burning my skin, yet I enjoyed it. It soothed the pain inside of me, made me feel better. It's gonna be alright, a little voice in my head whispered as I motionlessly stood, eyes closed, at peace.
"Good morning, Mom," I said quietly as I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, watching her cook breakfast.
She turned to me and gave me an exhausted nod, not saying a word. As usual.
A moment later she placed a plate of pancakes in front of me and sat down herself, sipping on a cup of coffee.
I picked up my fork and started cut them into pieces, so that Mom wouldn't notice me not eating. I hadn't been really hungry ever since.... The incident. Forcing the thought out of my mind, I swallowed a tiny bit of pancake and immediately felt sick. For Mom's sake I pretended to eat for another five minutes and then got up to dump the remains into the trashcan and the now empty plate into the sink.
Turning to lean against the counter, I looked at Mom. She looked exhausted, to say the least. The brightness in her eyes was gone, replaced by a heart wrenching dullness. Another thing that had changed over the last two months was, well, actually her whole appearance. Once she'd moved with pride and grace, but now her shoulders were hunched and she kept looking at the floor, as if she didn't want people to see her face. Her hair hadn't seen a hairdresser for a while now and she only wore it in a loose and messy ponytail these days. She didn't care about her clothes anymore, either . The shirt she was wearing was stained and she simply looked lost in it because it was so big.
What had changed the most though was Mom herself. Her personality was so different to what it had been before. It wasn't her anymore. She'd been an outgoing and always smiling and talking person, but now she didn't go out, she didn't smile and she didn't talk anymore. The last thing I'd heard her say was my sister's name, two months ago.
I looked around our new house and sighed. Even though we'd moved in yesterday, all the moving boxes, except the ones in my room, that is, where empty and stacked in the guest room. Mom had probably spent the whole night up to unpack everything. It was so Mom to do that. Ever since the incident she'd spent every awake minute doing something to distract herself. Cleaning the house, doing the dishes, rearranging the rooms.. Everything not to think of what had happened.
After a concerned glance at my mother I left the kitchen and went into the bathroom to get ready for school. Suppressing an annoyed groan, I tried to smooth my messy, black hair but gave up after a moment. It continued sticking out in random places anyway. I applied some make-up and concealer to hide the shadows underneath my eyes and left the bathroom to get the stuff I needed for school.
"Mom, I'm leaving for school," I said once I entered the kitchen again, watching her doing the dishes. She held up one hand as if to make me stop and pointed out of the window. I looked out and frowned. There stood a brand new car, glistening in the morning sun. "Whose is this?", I asked, confused.
She pointedly looked at me then and jerked her chin towards something on the table in front of me. I followed her movement and felt my jaw drop.
"It's mine?", I asked incredulously, my gaze flickering between my Mom, the keys on the table and the car. When she nodded I threw myself at her, smothering her in a gigantic hug. She stiffened at the closeness that had become alien to her and I immediately let her go, blushing a bright red.
"Thanks, Mom," I whispered uncomfortably, scratching the back of my neck, blood pulsing rapidly through my veins in humiliation.
She nodded and returned to doing the dishes, again without saying a word. I sighed quietly, worrying for my mother. Was she ever going to get better? I didn't know.
Grabbing the keys, I left the house and pretended not to notice the empty spot where her Jacket had always hung, where her shoes had always stood. I also pretended I didn't feel her right beside me.
The drive to the school was only five short minutes long and I briefly wondered if the short distance was even worth the gas I'd use every day, quickly dismissing the thought of just walking to school as it started to rain. Well, more like raining buckets.
"Nooo," I groaned, covering my face with my hands, and hoped that the rain would stop in the next five minutes. Needless to say it didn't.
So I took my bag and all but jumped out of the car to run towards what I thought was the registry. Despite my effort to run as fast as I could and the fact that I held my bag over my head to shield myself from as much of the rain as possible, I was soaked after the first few steps.
The woman behind the desk eyed me maliciously, as if I was invading her personal bubble by simply entering the registry. Her face grew outrages as she noticed the wet and dirty traces I was leaving behind and the pen in her hand snapped because she held it so tightly.
"Hello," I greeted her politely, smile in place, even though all I wanted to do was to run away to cower inside my car. "I'm Jamie Gray."
"I know who you are," she snapped in an unpleasant nasal voice, glaring daggers at me, not making any move to get the papers I needed.
After a moment of awkward silence from my side and daggers from hers, I cleared my throat. "I'm the new student," I declared shyly, hoping she would catch the drift, blood rushing up to my cheeks, hands cold and sweaty, clasped in front of me.
"I know." Harsh. That would describe her perfectly. Maybe evil...
"The principal told me to come here to get some papers."
"Yes, I'm aware of that." She was taunting me , I could see and hear that now. Then it clicked. Oh.
"Could you please give the papers I need to me?", I asked, polite as ever, hoping my smile was convincing.
"Of course." She handed me a stack of papers right in front of her. The smile on her face was so false that even I could see right through it and it almost made me feel something, maybe anger. Almost.
"Thank you." With that, I was gone, leaving the sneering woman behind me, air rushing out of my lungs, tightness leaving my chest.
Only when someone tapped me on the shoulder I realized I'd been standing in the middle of the hallway for the past... How long exactly? I didn't know.
Turning around, I caught my breath. The woman in front of me was beautiful, more beautiful than any person I'd ever seen in my life. Pale skin, golden eyes, grace, inhuman. Those words kept repeating themselves in my head until it spun, out of control.
"Excuse me?" She sounded like an angel with her high, bell-like voice. I wondered what she would sound like while singing. Probably like heaven on earth. She literally took my breath -and my voice- away. When I didn't respond, an insecure expression crossed her face. "You are Jamie Gray, right?"
"Yes," I breathed, not knowing how I'd gotten the word out. "Yes," I repeated dumbly, cheeks red, eyes wide and hands sweaty. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
A dazzling smile spread over her face, making it even more beautiful.
"I'm Bella Cullen, your English teacher. I saw you standing here and wondered if you needed help to find to the class?"
"Yes." My face got redder by the second. "Thank you."
I followed her as she walked away and after a few silent minutes we reached the class. She stopped in front of the door, turning to me, scrutinizing me with her eyes. "You don't have to be nervous, this class is great. Very nice kids. Oh and you don't have to introduce yourself to them, I know how much I hated that when I first moved to Forks."
"Thank you," I breathed. Then I nodded to myself and followed her through the door, keeping as close as possible without invading her personal space.
"Good morning, boys and girls", she sang happily, smiling at the class. All of the students immediately gave her their full attention. All but one guy who was sitting in the front. His shoulders were hunched over a paper on his desk and he didn't even look up to Mrs. Cullen. Our teacher briefly glanced at him, a sad look crossing her face, but didn't say anything. "So, guys. We have a new student Her name is Jamie Gray and she just moved here. Please be nice to her. Oh, and Seth?"
The guy looked up then, eyebrows raised in silent question. I couldn't help but stare at him, heart starting to race, blood rushing to my cheeks. He was drop-dead gorgeous. "Sure thing, Bells," he said in a husky voice that made shivers run down my spine.
Then he looked at me, yet not meeting my eyes. Strangely enough, he seemed to be pleased by what he saw because a grin that took my breath away spread over his face. I was confused, to say the least.
Yet all I could do was stare at him, eyes wide, breathing hitched, heartbeat going faster and faster and faster until it felt as if it was about to burst out of my chest.
"Jamie?" Mrs. Cullen's voice yanked me back to reality and I swayed on my feet a little bit as I turned to her. What had that been?
"Yes, Mrs. Cullen?" My voice sounded breathless, as if I'd used up all the oxygen in my lungs.
Her gaze briefly flickered to Seth and then her face brightened. "Oh, please call me Bella. I feel so old when you call me Mrs. You can sit down now. Here, next to Seth." Her smile was blinding.
My eyes snapped back to Seth and I felt attention slip away. I almost didn't hear the guy next to him protest because Mrs. Cu-, no, Bella had just offered me his seat.
Suddenly I was sitting beside Seth, not remembering how I'd gotten there. My heart was still racing in my chest and I couldn't breathe properly, but, truth be told, I didn't mind. It felt nice. But it also made me self-conscious, so I stared at my desk.
After a moment I realized that Seth was looking at me, so I turned around and met his intense gaze. His face went completely blank as I hesitantly smiled at him.
"Hey," he breathed, eyes filled with an emotion I couldn't quite name... Maybe... amazement?
I softly repeated his word and brushed an annoying strand of hair away.
"I'm Seth." His voice sounded stronger now, but still had a soft tone to it that made me lose my mind.
"I know."
His face lit up like a Christmas Tree at my stupid response and I couldn't help but smile back. Normally I would've felt weird, just staring at some guy I just met, but with Seth... It felt different. Normal.
Still, after a while I let my gaze drop to his desk and my eyes widened. "This is beautiful," I whispered, taking in the drawing on Seth's desk. It showed a lone wolf on a gorgeous cliff, his head bowed in an agonizing way.
"I know," he replied. His answer kind of shocked me, so I glanced up at him, blushing a bright red as I noticed him staring at me. It didn't seem like he'd looked away in the first place.
Involuntarily, my gaze drifted to the drawing again and I couldn't help but brush over the wolf's body. "You're very talented." It was true, I'd never seen such a beautiful drawing before. "Why is it so sad and alone? Aren't wolves supposed to be in a pack?"
Seth replied without missing a beat, "I've been having a hard time lately and I kinda tend to let my mood flow into my drawings." There was an urgency in his voice, as if he had to get it this off his chest.
I pulled my hand back to rest it on my desk, a frown on my face. Seth having a hard time? That didn't seem to fit at all. He just seemed like a naturally warm and sunny person to me. Well, but on the other hand I'd been like that, too.
I kept silent, not knowing how to comfort him even though I wanted to so badly it almost hurt, eyes fixed on Seth's hand that suddenly clenched around the side of his desk. From my peripheral vision I could see his other hand slowly move towards me to brush away the strand of hair that had bothered me before, making my face blush a bright red. I smiled as I saw his face get red and breathed a 'thanks'.
For the rest of the lesson both Seth and I remained silent, yet I couldn't help but sneak glances at him from time to time, always blushing when he was staring back, looking away again.
Five minutes before the bell rang Mrs. Cullen said, "I want you to write an essay on any topic you like. It can be about your favorite book, your dog or you can just make something up; I don't care. Just be creative!"
I took my stuff and got up, aware of Seth's eyes on me, immediately tripping over something. I inwardly groaned and prepared to bend down to get my stuff, but got surprised by Seth catching all of it and handing it to me.
"How did you do that?", I asked, wide-eyed.
Seth gasped for dramatic effect, "What, no thanks?"
Rolling my eyes at him, I decided to let the subject drop. Not everyone's reflexes were as bad as mine. "Thanks," I grinned.
Suddenly Seth reached out and grabbed my bag. "Let me carry it for you."
I was about to decline, but then I saw the puppy-like look in his eyes and handed him the bag, shaking my head before proceeding to walk out the classroom.
"So," he said, making me look up at him. I was immediately caught up in his brown, sincere and for the moment dazed looking eyes.
"So?", I breathed stupidly when he didn't continue to talk.
He swallowed heavily. "What's your next class?"
Good question... Gym? No, that wasn't it... Spanish? No... After a moment I simply gave up trying to remember and waved my hand in his direction, sighing heavily. "I honestly have no idea. I mean, I would look, but since you have my bag..." I let my voice trail off suggestively.
"Oh." With that he handed me my bag and I immediately searched for the paper in it, cursing myself for the mess I'd already made. After a while I found my schedule and groaned. "Ugh. Math's my next subject."
Seth's face fell. "Mine's gym." Then his face suddenly brightened up a bit, as if he'd just gotten an idea. "Hey, can I look at your schedule? You know, so I can compare it to mine."
I nodded. Seth's face totally lit up as he looked at it. "We have every other class together!", he exclaimed happily, giving me a bright, happy smile. I couldn't help but return it. The smile didn't last long, though, because then I remembered I had to get to my next class.
"I'll see you later?", I asked sadly, frowning. Seriously, he was so tall I had to frown up at him.
My mind went completely blank as he bent down to hug me before walking away. Blood rushed to my cheeks, coloring them a bright red and my eyes went wide. I couldn't move, even if I wanted to. All I could do was stare after Seth. The last thing I saw was his satisfied smirk, then he was around the corner.
It took me a moment to regain my composure, but when I finally did, I looked at my schedule to find out where I had to go. Room 23. The English room was... Room 20. So the third door next to this, right? Well, no. In the end it turned out that the room was on the other end of the school.
This class was uneventful and boring, mainly because Seth wasn't by my side and I sighed in relief when it was over.
"Hey, you're Jamie, right?", a girl my age with russet skin asked.
"Yes," I replied as I took in her tiny frame that somehow still managed to almost burst with energy.
"I'm Claire," she introduced herself, giving me a energized smile. It was so contagious that I couldn't help but smile back, following her out the classroom while she started to babble about how much she hated Math. I nodded in agreement, searching through my bag to find my schedule. I couldn't believe I couldn't find it. Again. A squeak escaped my lips as I bumped into a solid wall that send me to the ground where I landed flat on my butt. My face burned with humiliation as I stared up at the huge, Native American in front of me who was shaking furiously. "Watch it," he snarled at me, making me cringe.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, completely horrified.
"Paul," Seth's voice was warning as he looked at the guy while bending down to help me up. I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief simply because he was here with me. He pushed me behind his back and stepped forward until he was almost chest-to-chest with that Paul guy. Seth was already really tall, but Paul... He was just huge, in every possible way.
"What?," Paul spat in response, still shaking in anger, eyes glazed over.
"Guys," Claire cut in, slapping the both of them across the back of their heads. I couldn't help but burst out laughing at that because she seriously had to jump to reach their heads.
All of them turned to me, eyeing me as if I was crazy. "You should've seen this," I gasped between giggles, wiping the tears of laughter away.
Paul shot me one last dark glare that shut me up immediately before stomping away.
"That was weird," Claire commented lightly, looping her arms through mine and Seth's and lead us towards what I could only suppose was the cafeteria.
"You're seriously eating all of that?", I asked incredulously, eyes wide, as I stared at the huge amount of food in front of Seth.
"I'm a growing boy, I need the food," he winked at me and started to literally inhale his food.
"Wait until the rest of the guys are here," Claire piped up, shoving a fork off spaghetti into her mouth. "Paul eats thrice as much."
"Paul?", I squeaked, my stomach churning in fear. The Paul from before? No, she had to mean someone else... What were the chances that there was another Paul at this tiny school?
Zero. I learned that as a huge figure plopped down next to me, scaring me to death by the way. "I'm sorry about before," Paul said, his voice a lot softer than only a few minutes ago. "I was just a little... pissed."
Suddenly he didn't seem so scary anymore. More like a big teddy... I smothered a giggle with taking a bite of the apple in front of me. As usual, it made me feel sick. Before the food decided to make it's way out of my stomach, I searched for something to distract myself.
My gaze landed on Paul's plate and I couldn't help but exclaim, "Holy crap.... I can see what Claire meant by thrice as much."
"Hey, I don't want to be a broomstick like Seth," he defended himself, shooting Seth a grin that showed he was joking.
"Broomstick isn't exactly the word I'd use," I muttered under my breath, too low for them to hear. Or so I'd thought.
"What would you use then?", Paul grinned cheekily, softly poking me with his elbow. "Sex on legs?"
While I blushed like the idiot I was, Seth chocked on his food and didn't calm down for almost two minutes, effectively saving me from having to answer Paul's question.
"Jamie?", Seth asked softly, his voice sounding a little raw, a concerned look on his face. "Is that all you're gonna eat? You can have my fries, if you want."
I stared at him, wide-eyed. He already noticed? People never noticed, not even my parents had. "No, thanks. I'm not really hungry. Had a lot of breakfast," I lied as smoothly as I could, hoping he would believe me. To my relief, he did.
Lunch went by smoothly after that and I eventually came to the conclusion that I liked Claire and Paul a lot because both of them were really nice and funny. About Seth... Let's say I liked him the most.
I couldn't help myself, I just had to add Paul. I seriously had to. It's an addiction. And yes, it's the Claire. Quil's imprint. I know she's not supposed to be that old, but a toddler's just kinda boring, don't you think? She's around 15, like Seth and Jamie.
Anway, hope you liked the chapter.