Rei Tantei Naruto Uzumaki

General AU to the VotE fight where Naruto dies. I'm borrowing from the Naruto, and Yu Yu Hakusho verse definitely, maybe a few others later if I feel like it.

(A/N): I own nothing. Not even the computer I am writing this on. I claim to own nothing and you will not get anything from a lawsuit so just leave me alone please.

Also, I know NO Japanese so if I mistranslate, then calmly send me a review with corrections. If I leave it as the English spelling that means that I don't know how to spell it. Either send me an accurate spelling or get off my case. While I would love to learn Japanese, I am not very good with languages and I do not have time to learn since I am in college. Cry about it.

(End A/N)

--

(Previously)

"It is the only way. Naruto, how would you like a new lease on life?"

--

Chapter 4 --The Deal--

"So if I get Kyuubi sealed back into me, then I get to go back to life?"

"That is correct, Naruto. We can either seal it back into you, since your body is used to the pressure of youki, but we have to do this quick. All of the Death Pilots are busy containing the thing, and none are guiding spirits to rest. If they don't do it soon, within 24 hours of death, a person's spirit is lost forever. Thankfully no one died until 3 hours after your death, so that means we still have 16 hours to seal it's spirit back to you. After that, they would be free to do their work. But then we actually have to do the process to reattach your body and spirit, and that takes some special work. But for now, we need to get Kyuubi re-sealed." Koenma pushed a button on his phone and said, "Get me Minato Namikaze and Sarutobi… yes yes, I know that they are in Limbo becaue of their summoning technique but get them out of there now! That is an order! Hmph!"

A rather hen-pecked looking ogre speaks up from the corner, "Koenma-san you know what it does to your face when you pout…"

"I'M NOT POUTING OGRE!! Ahem. Yes, now Naruto I believe you know the people that will be coming in to help us with this problem, since they were the last 2 Hokages you had, but they were also the best seal masters I have ever seen. I know that you would probably like to talk to them, but time is of the essence here and they should not be disturbed."

"The old man is coming back? But he died and Botan said that Spirits can't come back from Beyond. And I don't even know who that other guy is."

"They were not allowed to pass into the beyond. The technique they performed summoned a Death Pilot directly to Ningenkai, which is against our law. Immortal spirits should not be allowed to be in the Human World unless they are placed in mortal or semi-mortal bodies, it violates the balance of the universe. They were sentenced to Limbo, a place where torture is so painful that each year seems almost like an eternity, for 100 years for violating Spirit World law and summoning a Death Pilot to the Human World. Sarutobi did so in an attempt to kill Orochimaru during the invasion during the Chuunin exams. Minato Namikaze did so in sealing the Kyuubi away in you, since he is more commonly known as your Fourth Hokage…"

"Wait, so this Minato guy is the Fourth and he summoned a Reaper to seal Kyuubi? Why don't you guys just do that now?"

"Well, it isn't that simple Naruto. Kyuubi as you humans know it was bound to a mortal body when he was on Earth... and things work differently there as compared to here. EVERYTHING here is spirit, and since Kyuubi is now all spirit, there is nothing in Spirit World to latch him to, at least nothing powerful enough to hold him. It would be like trying to trap a physical human in a physical object. That object has to be stronger than the human, otherwise the person would break his prison open. When Kyuubi was sealed into you, it was a mixture of sealing a spirit in a spirit and a body, which is MUCH more powerful. In the human world you can merge two spirits together when one of them is first born because a baby spirit is just getting used to the body. Since your spirit and it were in there at the same time, you adjusted to it being there within your body, and the seal took care of it overwhelming your spirit with it's own power. Now, everything here has an adjusted spirit, meaning we can't seal it within our own spirits like you can. The reason that this will work with you is because your spirits are already partially intertwined. All we have to do is finish intertwining you and it, or finish the job enough to take away that blasted ninth tail. There may be some side effects that we don't know about since it is not a natural mixing of your spirits, which would have been much slower, but it won't be anything terrible."

But anyway, as I was saying Minato is the Fourth and he designed the seal on you, so he would be the best person to try and make the new one we would put on you. But I thought you would like to meet him because he just happens to be your father." As Koenma was finishing his last sentence, the door opened and the two men he was speaking about walked in. Naruto blinked twice at Koenma, turned to look at the two men behind him, and blinked once more before Minato spoke up, "Uh, hey son! I guess we've never really met…" But his last comment was all in vain since his son had passed out on the floor.

--

Naruto awoke with the strangest feeling. He was laid out on a floor with a blanket over and under him. He thought he heard a familiar voice, but that couldn't be right. The dream he had about dying couldn't be true, so he rolled over and tried to get some more sleep. Until...

"Wake up sleepy head! It's been a couple of hours, but they say they are almost halfway done!" he knew that voice…

"Botan… just let me sleep… m'tired…" before sitting bolt upright. "Botan! It all wasn't a dream! I really died and … And… Dad… Is it true?"

"Yep! I guess no one had told you before huh?"

"No! Why didn't they? How cool is that? I… well, but… he did seal that damn thing inside me! Why did he…"

"He HAD to Naruto. Much like right now, the thing is just too powerful. He had to seal it within you because you were a newborn and could handle the chakra stress. Not to mention the fact that he probably couldn't bring himself to ask another family to sacrifice their child in such a way. I mean, could you?"

"I…" Naruto thought about it, and came to the conclusion that she was right. "…guess not. Man, who knew that he'd have to make that kind of choice? Your kid or your village?"

"Well Naruto, if you ever do become Hokage, you will have to make those decisions all day, everyday. You will have to send other people out to kill and to die for your town. Protecting everyone is part of the job, but can you handle the other half? Possibly sending other people's children out to their deaths?"

Naruto was stunned. He hadn't really ever thought about it before. Maybe… "Well, I… dunno… I… better think about this. I'll see you around Botan."

"If you are going to wander around, stay in this area of the building. If you start to see ogres running around, you have gone too far ok? We have to go tell your friends not to bury you tonight when they are dreaming tonight, so try to stay close."

Naruto nodded and walked out of the room, leaving Botan to wonder over to the table where the 2 kages and Koenma were arguing over the order of words on the seal.

--

Naruto had been wondering around for quite a while, not paying a bit of attention before he tripped over someone who was laying on the floor.

Both people rolled over and yelled, "Hey what the hell is wrong with you!"

Naruto laid in to the guy, "What are you going sleeping in the middle of the floor! Are you trying to hurt people by tripping them up? Baka!"

The other guy said, "Hey I just got done trying to hold back a 9 tailed demon fox! Lay off man!"

"Pshh… I did that for 12 years before I got killed."

"Liar."

"You know who is lying? YOU saying that you could hold off against Kyuubi. That's total BULL!"

"You want to TAKE THIS OUTSIDE PUNK?"

"Bring it on you green suited hobo!"

"Look who's talking you orange target! No wonder you are dead! People couldn't miss you!"

--

The insults got worse until the pair got into a courtyard. "Alright kid I tell you what. I am only going to use my fists to pound you into the ground. You can use anything you got against me. I'm part demon anyway, so all the stuff you got may scratch me."

"HA! I'd kill you if I went all out with my techniques! Kage bunshin!" Nothing happened.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oooo I'm so scared kid! That was the scariest technique I have never seen! HAHAHA!!"

"Hey! My chakra isn't working! If it was I'd…"

"Chakra? As in 'a mix of body and spirit energy,' chakra?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Ha ha, you baka. You don't have a body here. No technique you have is going to work unless you have one that works on purely spirit energy. And don't even think that using fists is going to work. I told you I was part demon by blood and awakening that heritage has made me stronger than any human fists could hurt. Sorry kid."

"Damnit! So what do you mean by techniques that work purely on spirit energy? Is that like a different type of muscle or something?"

"Sigh… yeah. The body makes 2 kinds of energy: body energy, which is your muscles, and spirit energy, which is your knowledge, determination, will, or other parts of your personality. Here, you are all spirit, which means that your intelligence, will power, determination, etcetera make up how strong you are. There are tons of techniques that use only, or mainly spirit energy, but a freshly dead human with no spirit training at all couldn't possibly be able to do it. You wouldn't have used spirit energy on earth all that much, since you would use chakra which is mostly physical energy. And you haven't been here long enough to build it up."

"That's bullshit! I could do any jutsu you throw at me! Show me how to do it, and I will blow you away!"

"Yeah? Alright kid. I tell you what, I will teach you the very first purely spirit technique I learned, and if you get more that a sizzle or a light, and make it strong enough to "punch" someone with, I won't knock you out."

"Alright! Bring it on Yusuke-baka!"

'This kid is calling me an idiot when he forgot he didn't have a body to use techniques with?' "Whatever kid. Now take all of the spirit energy you have in you, it should feel kinda warm, and gather it to the tip of your finger."

Looking down, he tried to summon his energy like his chakra. He felt around within him, which was odd considering that he normally didn't have to look around within him to hit the sea of chakra he held. After a second of searching, he found a small warmth within him. He felt it for a minute and then pulled as much of it as he could to his finger. "Hey look! It's glowing!"

"Now point that finger at your target. It's like shooting that energy in a straight line at whatever you are aiming at. Then when you have it lined up, pull the trigger."

"Trigger? You mean like the part of a trap that sets it off?"

"Well, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but the idea is the same. You pull on the part of your spirit control that keeps the energy there, and it will release in one big…"

WHAM!!

"WHAT THE HELL KID?!"

"HAHAHAHA!! I knew I could kick your ass! Man you should have seen the look on your face! I… whew… I feel kinda tired."

Yusuke had certainly felt that. The Spirit Gun hadn't hurt him, hell, his demon blood had extended his life and made him harder to hurt for thousands of years, but even though he had worked in Spirit World a long time, that was the most powerful blast he'd seen out of anyone their first time since… him really. He knew if he had still been human that that blast would have put a huge bruise on him.

"Well kid congratulations, you have learned the Spirit Gun. You are probably tired, since you haven't used pure Spirit Energy before, but that move will really take it out of you. And like I said, if you learned it, I wouldn't knock you out…"

"Ha! As if you could! I am so awesome…"

"But shooting me while I was talking is punishable with a noogie; get over here you brat!"

"AUGH!! Why did you do that?"

"You shot me while I was explaining things to you. Now, I bet that people are looking for you, wouldn't you say?"

"I guess."

"Well, let's go then."

--

(On Earth)

"Orochimaru-sama, you must change bodies now. It is quite apparent that Sasuke is not coming right now. I recommend that you change bodies now and go retrieve him yourself."

"Quiet Kabuto! I realize that he isn't coming and I already am going to change bodies! Now I need your spies to find out something for me while I am recuperating from the change."

"Hai, you want to know where Sasuke-kun is being kept?"

"NO FOOL! Do not presume to know what I am thinking! If they haven't already killed the boy, it is because he made a final request. And I know that it will be the Kyuubi brat's funeral. Find out when it will be and delay if you can."

"You wish to kidnap Sasuke-kun there?"

"Well, not only that, but think of all of those grieving Konoha citizens."

"Orochimaru-sama?"

"Well Kabuto, don't you think that they should be able to say good-bye in a more personal fashion? How about face to face? Kukukuku…"

"Hai, I will prepare your new body and find a sacrifice from our ranks for you as well."

--

A/N:

K, I know some people have questions, suggestions, but I had planned for some of the plot holes you guys have pointed out. Most have been filled this chapter (Dragonbard, the conversation with Koenma should do most of your points.), but I have to wait until next chapter to fill in the rest. I want to thank you guys for pointing out plot holes, but pairings and plotline, I think I have. I have part of a Spirit Detective, Dark Martial Arts, and Sensui (the bad ex-Spirit Detective) Arc planned out, and maybe the pairing. I don't really know all of the details, but mixing the stories is moderately hard.