Rei Tantei Naruto Uzumaki
General AU to the VotE fight where Naruto dies. I'm borrowing from the Naruto, and Yu Yu Hakusho verse definitely, maybe a few others later if I feel like it.
(A/N): I own nothing. Not even the computer I am writing this on. I claim to own nothing and you will not get anything from a lawsuit so just leave me alone please.
Also, I know NO Japanese so if I mistranslate, then calmly send me a review with corrections. If I leave it as the English spelling that means that I don't know how to spell it. Either send me an accurate spelling or get off my case. While I would love to learn Japanese, I am not very good with languages and I do not have time to learn since I am in college. Cry about it.
Ok so hopefully everyone knows that my computer got trashed and now I am having to recover from months of not having my information, ideas about what I was going to write, and preexisting writing. I got about 2 paragraphs into this fic before my computer died so from here on out I am hopefully back in the swing of things.
(End A/N)
---------
(Previously- We see the private reactions of people and Naruto visits the dreams of those close to him and while he fails to get his teammates to believe the truth behind his potential return, there is a single ray of hope…)
---
Tsunade roused herself from her bed in the Hokage residence and set about getting herself presentable, at least for a while. Wondering around the Hokage tower and the shinobi hospital's morgue in nothing but a robe may have been something from a mix of Jiraya's and Orochimaru's night dreams (Tsunade could see Jiraiya imagining her in quite a bit less than a robe in the tower, but only Orochimaru's sick mind could dream of stuff, sexual or not, occurring in a morgue.), but it was not going to be something she was going to actively try to do.
Last night was quite a night for the local bar owners. While Tsunade had gotten better about drinking after her return to assume the mantle of Hokage, Tsunade was still a frequent of the bars around Konoha, but last night was a throwback to the bad old days and worse. It hadn't been even a month before the necklace's curse had gotten someone this time. Tsunade's misery had followed tradition attracted company, though if she had been sober, the Fifth Hokage would have been duly surprised to see Umino Iruka getting plastered on the chair next to her. The Academy instructor was known for his patience and moderation, but was clearly pulling no punches tonight. While both were aware of each other's presence, neither of them greeted or showed any sign of acknowledgement to the other; they merely sipped away at the clear liquid that would disable their mind from remembering the pain for as long as possible.
Shinobi around her in the tower moved out of the way as she moved through the halls. The office workers knew of her friendliness to the young boy, her quick temper, and the high likelihood of her using alcohol to help. The next few weeks would probably be a good time to stay in Tsunade's good graces.
Tsunade made her way down to the morgue.
---
Ino expected a moderate amount of business today.
A light day usually happened when a lot of teams were gone on missions, followed by a busy day the day or two after teams got back. Working a flower shop in a ninja or military town kinda got depressing if you got to think about it. This happened to be why Ino focused on romantic endeavors so much, because thinking about love (or love lost) was a great way to avoid thinking about the fact that almost to over half of the people who came into her shop were buying for condolences.
A few of the people came in to buy 'get well' flowers for family members, like the Hyuuga branch, Inuzuka, and Akimichi.
But it was odd to see so many people buying for Naruto, or well… people she suspected of being Naruto. The people of Ichiraku's ramen stand had stopped in early in the morning to place an order and when asked who it was for the only answer was "our best customer and our friend" and left before she could inquire further. Sudachi flowers?(1) Why on earth had that been the choice?
Before she could ponder this, her former teacher Iruka had come in looking like hell and dressed in the most black she had ever seen anyone dressed in. He stank to high heaven and ordered orange daisies of all things for his "favorite student." When she had to ask him louder a second time who they were for, since he didn't appear to hear her the first time, he covered his ears, mumbled something about his head hurting, then ran out of the store crying about how he wasn't hurt 'that badly' and 'how "he" had it worse before he went.'
The ambiguity got worse through the day as only Gaara and Tenten had actually mentioned the guy by name, Gaara in his usual monotone and Tenten had read the order from a note from Neji. It was almost like they had a special name or title for Naruto that never required them to say his name.
Ino hoped that someone would help her get her mind off the situation that the flowers she was arranging kept reminding her of.
---
Naruto, however, was having a wonderful time exploring Reikai while the old guys argued over the new seal. Yusuke had rested up and went back to fight Kyuubi a few times but every time he was rested enough, he would sneak attack Naruto no matter where he was in the city and mock fight the kid. Sure he wasn't trying to hurt Naruto, but he always got a couple of semi-hard hits in on the kid. But the infuriating thing about it wasn't getting hit; it was like he always knew where Naruto was hiding. Except the one time.
(Flashback)
Naruto had snuck away when he heard from one of the ogres that Yusuke was awake and looking for him (little did he know that everyone in the Reikai office was in on the game and would give Naruto a slight lead before telling Yusuke where he went) and was currently concentrating hard on hiding in a potted plant outside King Yama's throne room when Yusuke snuck by. It surprised Naruto that he hadn't pounced on him even in the plant, but he recovered quickly. Just as Yusuke had passed by he heard a voice from further down the hall.
"Hello Yusuke," said a mild mannered voice.
"Hey Kurama, have you seen a preteen loser in orange run by you?"
"No I am afraid that no one has been by me down this hallway Yusuke. Is there something wrong? I have a feeling that you are not chasing a criminal."
"No, I just have to give the brat his play beating before I go to try to beat this stupid fox back… no offense meant to you of course. Are you sure that you cannot help?"
"I could not fight against a kitsune of that strength. If I fought a fellow kitsune that was that much more powerful than me without it being a case of training, then I would be seen as mad or crazy by my kin and they would try to have me put down. Kistune do not tolerate stupidity amongst their ranks."
"Well alright then Kurama. Wish me luck and if you see that kid, send him in my direction so I can continue to train him. I think he thinks I like beating him, but I see a fellow street fighter spirit in him and I figure that I can't let that spirit waste away. It is funny to see the look on his face after I find him by following his spiritual signature because he doesn't know that it is possible to do. Ja ne Kurama."
While Naruto heard Yusuke run off further down the hall, he heard nothing from the 'Kurama' guy. Either way he figured it was safe to leave his hiding place and run the direction opposite Yusuke went. That was until the plant he was hiding in wrapped around his ankles, and wrapped around his arms and torso until he couldn't move his arms. He was shoved outside of the plant and in front of a man covered with white. He had purplish hair, fox ears, and a single fox tail.(2) He also looked pissed, until he got a look at who was caught in the plant.
"I would assume that you are the human that Yusuke was looking for. Why do you smell like fox, but are human? I thought you were a fox spying on me for a moment, and nearly tore you apart."
"Wow did you have a fox demon sealed into you too?"
"… You said sealed into you? Are you saying that you held one of my kin captive?"
"Well Kyuubi attacked our village and the Hokage had to do something…"
"Kyuubi? Are you telling me that your Hokage, a mere human, sealed away the great Nine-Tailed Fox Demon LORD? And sealed said demon into you? And you LIVED… well at least until now?"
"Well yeah. I mean doesn't that happen a lot? Yondiame didn't seem to have much trouble…"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Naruto could only look on in confusion as Kurama laughed until he was leaning on the wall for support and then as he slid down the wall to a sitting position, still laughing.
(Flashback end)
---
"Hm… I never thought I would see this day."
Kurama, once he had calmed down, was a very patient and collected person, and a veritable wealth of information without being irritable like his teachers on Earth had been.
He was also prone to fits of quiet laughter.
"Why is Kyuubi getting sealed (*laughter from Kurama*) so funny to you? I mean it wasn't real fun for me."
"Because he is the most powerful demon… probably ever, and no human other than Yusuke Urameshi has beaten a demon lord. Yusuke, however has demon blood and was once King of Demon Realm once his human life ended, so most demons do not consider it a defeat from human hands. They see him as one of them, and to be frank they are mostly correct. However, the thought that the most powerful demon was defeated by a human in battle and was held back by the unconscious use of a baby's spiritual energy is hilarious. It would be as if your Hokage was beaten by an ant and held captive by a baby ant. It is ridiculous and would absolutely ruin his reputation amongst demonkind."
"Yeah we rule! Make sure you tell everyone to not mess with…"
*SLAM.*
"NEVER tell another demon about this. It will get you killed."
"What why?"
"Upstart demons looking to say that they are the most powerful beings in existence would hunt you down. If anyone found out, there would be demons hunting you everywhere. Here, Earth… nowhere would be safe for you. Become stronger than Yusuke Urameshi, then you can brag. Become stronger than Kyuubi and you won't have to."
"Huh, ok!" It made sense to Naruto. "Wait, what about the people around here who know? There is no way you can keep this many people quiet about something this huge."
"All beings that work in Yama or Koenma's office sign demonic contracts forbidding them from revealing anything that happens at work. And any demon's word is as binding as his flesh."
"I guess only demons really know that. Even though everyone back home thought I was a demon, they would never really believe that I would do whatever I promised them. HEY! Speaking of things only demons know, how does Yusuke keep finding me? I heard him say he followed my spirit signature, so how does that happen? Or is it like a demon secret? Are you guys like part of a secret club? Is there a special handshake? I want…"
*BAM*
"Ouch…"
"Naruto you really need to learn how to control your mouth. People are a lot more helpful if you don't bother them with constant questions. Instead, ask one question and listen to the answer. That way it looks like you are being respectful and they will be more likely to do things for you."
"Hm, so if it's like a line at a store? People can go through one at a time, because the clerk can't help them all and everyone running by at once is rude and stealing and stuff, right?"
"That is a rather simple explanation, but yes I guess that would work."
"So you're calling me stupid because I had a stupid question and a stupider answer huh? How was I supposed to know that? Everyone gives me a hard time when I ask questions because they say that my questions are stupid, so I try to get as many questions out there so at least one sounds smart enough for them to answer."
"Naruto, there is honestly no such thing as a stupid question. Anyone who tells you that is just being mean to you, or is stupid themselves. If you want to ask me questions then I would be happy to answer them, with a couple of conditions; you must ask nicely, I actually have to know the answer, and I may not answer the question if I think it is private. Is that ok with you Naruto?"
Naruto looked up at him with a genuine smile and quietly said, "Deal Kurama."
---
Naruto quickly grew to be close friends with Kurama. He was patient, kind, smart, and could explain things in a way that Naruto could understand easily.
When asked why he was so good at teaching things, Kurama replied, "I was able to teach things to Yusuke. Teaching you is a rather simple thing compared to teaching him. Both of you have the same attitude and learning style, but he always made things exponentially difficult to teach because he never started to do things that would better himself until you had pushed him practically to the point of your own sanity. You are like a baby bird that flaps his wings every day until he is ready to jump out of the nest and fly. Yusuke on the other hand was like a baby bird that you had to push out of the nest to get flying, but once he started something he had that same bull-headed 'I will do it' attitude that you do."
As Naruto began to get a self satisfied smirk, Kurama promptly added, "At the same time though, you both have almost zero attention span. You want to get away from Yusuke right? He will keep finding you unless you are willing to keep hiding in bushes that are charged with my spirit energy."
Naruto lost the smile.
"There are many ways you can hide from people who can track your spiritual sense. Yusuke and I had a friend long ago who could fight in the complete dark with his spiritual awareness. The clone technique you told me that you use? It would be completely useless against him. He could feel your energy no matter how perfectly cloned you look on the outside and find the real you amongst the clones no matter what you did. Each person is different, in the way they act, look, think, and thousands of other ways. Your spirit reflects this uniqueness just like a mirror does. Anyone who can see spirits or tell them apart by 'feeling' the differences in a spirit will remember you just as much as if they had seen you face to face."
"So how do I hide from that? When I had chakra I could use jutsu to blend in, and I think that some people even learned how to become invisible!"
"I was just about to say that actually Naruto. The main purpose of hiding is not being found. The ways to hide are to put something in the way between what is trying to find you or to look like something that is not what that person is looking for. Let's say when you get back to your world, you have to hide under a fallen tree log. None of the ninja can see you right? But trees don't have chakra, so all they have to do is feel the chakra you let out to find you. So you have to learn to let no chakra escape you. Or what if you have to sneak into another village? You change how you look to sneak in. Ninja can see you, but you dressed like a civilian and you have chakra. They know you are a fake. You have to be able to hide the parts of you that are different from what you are trying to hide in. If you are trying to hide in a crowd of civilians, you have to dress like a civilian and walk like a civilian and talk like one and not have chakra. BUT if you have to pretend to be a ninja and you run around hiding your chakra, they are going to figure that something isn't right."
"So how do I do that? C'mon just tell me how to hide my energy! I can figure the rest out Kurama-san."
"Hmm… well I suppose that practical won't hurt. Make sure to listen to me as you do it though. I will call out tips and you won't want to miss them. Now, we are going to practice with your spirit energy since you have no body to use chakra with, but the technique will work on chakra too, once you return to your body. Feel your energy inside you. I have heard from Yusuke that you have quite a bit of energy based on how powerful your Spirit Gun is, but that will actually work against you here. Hiding the energy in your body is like hiding a flame at night time. It's very easy to hide a match, but very hard to hide a full moon. And you are like the moon my friend. Your spirit flows freely out of your body the more you have in an attempt to not merely overflow the body. What I need you to do is get all of the energy that is flowing out of you, and stop it from flowing out of you. This will probably be very hard to do after a while. The more you try to keep it in, the more of it there will be trying to get out."
Naruto scrunched up his face as he tried to pull his power back to him. It was like trying to grab soap bubbles off the top of the water in your bath tub. As soon as you moved the hand to stop bubbles from moving in one area, more bubbles would escape from the area your hand was just located. And all the while the running water was stirring up the soap to make more bubbles.
"Relax." Kurama said. "Letting a little escape is no big deal. Mostly you will only be hiding for a few minutes before the people looking for you will pass your hiding spot so that you can run away again. Practice holding it in for 10 seconds then let it out. Work the amount of time up from there. Just remember all you have to do is try to look as normal as possible to everything and everyone. If you hide in a bush, make sure all of the leaves are from the same bush and not from mixed bushes and make sure you don't have any chakra showing. If you go to a ninja battlefield where there is a lot of chakra hanging around from jutsu that were recently used and cover yourself with dirt, make sure to release the same amount of chakra into the air as there is around you. Become part of your surroundings in every way, not just the visual ones."
"So how did Yusuke not find me when you and I met? I had no idea about any of this stuff yet, much less be able to do it!"
Kurama laughed. "Oh that's easy. I told you that I thought you were someone trying to attack me right? When I felt you hiding in the bush, I used my spirit energy to take control of the plant and grab you. When Yusuke walked by, my energy was covering yours up and he couldn't tell you were there."
"I still can't believe you can control plants! It's so cool! I mean I think the First Hokage was the only person to ever do that that I've ever hear of and now you can too! Oh man, if I could do that then no one I could totally kick ass! Hell! I live in a damn forest! Nobody could ever beat me again!"
*WHAM.*
"Why don't you just keep practicing this for now? I am sure that when Yusuke gets back he will want to find you again. And I also heard that they are close to finishing the seal, which means that Yusuke will be free to… well I suppose that HE calls it training doesn't he? I am sure he will be able to "train" with you as much as he wants.
Naruto paled and suddenly felt that maybe being Dead WAS a bad thing.
---
Tsunade stared. She couldn't help it. She ran to the door to check the list of people who came into the morgue since the body was placed and when she found that no one had been in the room since Naruto had been dropped off, she immediately sent a single clone to the nearest guard in the building. When her clone informed her that the guards had seen no one in this section of the building all day, she literally could not comprehend what this could mean.
In the wreckage of the center of Naruto's slashed up jacket, the holes that were killing blows on his young body were no longer there.
---
(1) Sudachi is the name of a citrus plant that is the official flower of the Tokushima providence in Japan. One of the municipalities in that providence is called Naruto, named after the Naruto whirlpools nearby. Note: the name 'Naruto' has two meanings (because of different alphabets in Japanese): it can mean a ramen topping or in the other alphabet it means 'maelstrom.' Fitting don't you thing? He loves ramen and his second signature move deals with a swirling attack.
(2) This is what Yoko Kurama's look from the series. I decided that Kurama's human body had gotten old, but that he continued his life in his demon form body. This is obviously not the somewhat evil guy that was Yoko Kurama, this is just regular old Kurama with his old look back.
This is a Naruto centric story (unlike the canon which seems to be a worship of the various Uchiha and ultra omega enemies that Naruto has to face) but the side stories to Konoha or other places in the elemental countries is mostly random, with a few day to day stories that I think fit what people in Naruto's world would do. Don't take this as a hint to relationships. If or when I decide to have romance, it will be quite clear. This will mostly be an action story, but it will have a lot of mushy sweet scenes in there that I will give you guys as a treat.