Love, Marriage, and Babies
"A journey into the more... humorous, facets of pairings."
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own a novel that is in the brainstorming stages, and if that novel ever gets published, I'll write fanfiction for it just so I can say: "Ha! It's totally mine, bitches!" Also, I'm pretty sure that I made up the word bangable... maybe.
Introduction:
Hello, and welcome to my idea of what could happen if any fan-pairings happened. Some fics might explore the positive sides of pairings, but I am going to rip into any possible relationship problems, and use them to entertain myself and the depraved masses. Now, prepare yourself for stupid jokes, possible character bashing, and things that would make almost any Naruto fan vomit in their sleep.
Let's get ready to RUMBLE!
NaruHina: OMG! It's CANON?
This pairing has recently received a huge plausibility boost due to Hinata actually growing a pair of balls (or would that be ovaries, in this case?) and confessing her love to Naruto.
Yeah... This is gonna be tough, but I'll endure!
Love
Okay, since Hinata has confessed her love for Naruto, he would just have to reciprocate that sentiment.
Naruto (In sage-mode, ready to kick Pein's arse): Hinata! If I don't make it out of this alive, I just want you to know... I love you!
Hinata: ... (Is still unconscious)
Naruto (Seeing Hinata's unmoving body): Noo! Pein you bastard! You killed her! You killed my only chance at true love! (Goes nine-tails - in spite of the conversation he had just had with the Fourth freakin' Hokage – and completely destroys Pein)
Hinata (Having regained consciousness just in time to see Naruto kill Pein): Naruto! You're okay! (Gets all shoujo-sparkly) Let's get married!
"Naruto" (Who is no longer Naruto, but rather is now Kyubi): Hmm? Meh, sure. Why the Hell not? You look bangable enough.
Hinata (Oblivious to the fact that "Naruto" is now a four-story tall demon fox): Yay!
Marriage
"Naruto" and Hinata are having an outdoor wedding, because "Naruto" is a big effing fox who couldn't possibly fit into any church in the elemental nations.
Konan (Who is acting as the pastor because the Church of Pein was the only religion willing to consent to such an abomination against God): Do you, "Naruto", take Hinata Hyuga to be your bitch, to abuse and screw and even eat as you see fit?
"Naruto" (Licking his chops and eyeing all the women in attendance, including Konan and Hinata, hungrily): Damn right, I do! And you'll be next, you sexy li'l thang.
Konan (Blushing at being called a 'sexy li'l thang'): And do you, Hinata, promise to become Naruto's bitch, and to submit to his will in every conceivable way, shape, and form?
Hinata (Dressed only in see-through lingerie at "Naruto's behest): Yes, of course!
Konan (Who was dressed in nothing at all, as part of Pein's requirements for all his angels): Then I now pronounce you master and slut, you may now hump each other silly.
Babies
Nine months later, Hinata was in the operating room with "Naruto" standing outside her window.
Hinata: AUGH!
The Nurse (Who is Shizune's ghost/soul/whatever): Aiee! Sweet mother of Mary! It's a litter of devils!
"Naruto" who is really Kyubi: Bwahahahaha! Now nothing will stand in my way! I will destroy the world, or something!
And the devil babies tore open Hinata's womb and poured forth, flying to the four corners of the earth, thereby plunging the world into a thousand years of darkness.
All because Naruto couldn't focus on his fight.
Yeah, I figured I might as well update this.
TTFN and R&R!