This is gonna be the last shapter cuz I got some realy mean reviews n I'mt ired of crying all the time. So here goes. I'm feeling really imo, so I'm gonna make this chapter full of angst and hate and vile things and pain and tears…so…yeah? You get the point. This is gonna be epic!!!

Again, tanks to Kearra four proofreading and also tanks to Catlin Brown for inspring me story. Oh, and To Brad because he actually sent me a nice review. Hi, Brad!

Legolas tossed his silver wedding band at her head.

"hERE yew go you slut! You love the On e Ring more than yew love me!"

"You can't leave me, Leggo! If you go, hoo will go to Mordor with me and watch Lanna Battanna when I'm rocking out the show?" "Maybe Gimli can!" Legolas shot back, and Hannah's blood curdled. Guilt was written all over her face.

"That's write. I know about you too. All these yrs sneaking behin]d me back!"

"How did you find out?" "I have keen ninja-like elf-skills!" he replied."" {aND I know about Gandalf, and Elrond, and all those hobbits you've been seeing when I'm off working hard to keep mead and bread on the table in Mirkwood!"

"Mirkwood!" Miley scoffed. "I hate this pl,ace. I wanna go to the Shire." "It'll be easier to sleep around if you don't have to travel there.""That was cold." she said, her face puckering as if she'd bitten in to an non-ripe persimmon.

"And anyway, it's not even my fault. Once you go hobbit, you never go back.""wAIT, I thought it was, "Once you go Rohan, you never go back'…you know what? That's beside the point. I'm divorcing you.""NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she wailed, as her entire world crashing down around her. This was her Legolas, her love, her true love, and she couldn't live without him in her life.

He had awakened a special place in hur heart that made her believe that magic could truly exist, as long as you were wrapped up in the arms of the one who loves you truly.

"You can't leave." she said, holding back an ocean of angst filled tears.

"I must." he replied.

"But…nobody puts baby in the corner!""Huh?""You had me from hello!"

"Miley what are you talking about?""THE GREATEST THING YOU'LL EVER LEARN IS JUST TO LOVE AND BE LOVED IN RETURN!""Huh?""One day I want you to say to me what you said to Ashley Wilkes--I love you.""Quit babbling nonsense! If you loved me, you wouldn't have cheated on me with half the Shire!""Actually, I was making money. I have a strip club there. It's supposed to be a strip club of special magnificence. It's got the whole Shire in an uproar.""Well, that should please you.""Half the Shire's been invited!""Good gracious me."

"Yeah." She looked deeply into his eyes, eyes deeper than the very depths of the soul of anybody who had ever had a soul ever and deeper than the deep place where the Titanic was in.

"Maybe this would have been easier if I hadn't been abused by my first wife." Legolas said glumly."I never knew! If only I had known---""It seems that we have been working at cross purposes, then. Anyway, my first wife, one the night of our honeymonn, she went around and smashed all the light bulbs with the heel of my slipper."

"And you let her? You didn't run, you didn't scream?""Actually, I was sorta thrilled by it." Legolas admitted,"Well, this has been fun, but I'm outta here."

Miley stood in front of the door, sobbing.

"You shall not pass!!"

Legolas sighed, knowing what he was gonna hafta dew. He pulled out his bow and shot her so he could leave.

It was nessessarie, because he coulnt bea late four his painting class in Minas Tirith.

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

The end! If ya'll had had nicer reviews, I would have produced more and more fabulous chapters for your enjoyment! Oh, well.