A/N: Okay, I know last chapter wasn't fantastic, but that's because I was saving a lot for this one - the long-awaited and very important 'conversation'! Oooh. Again, BIG big thank you for all the feedback!! So yeah, I hope this one lives up to expectations!! I worked hard on this one, I know it's a VERY important chapter, so please please let me know what you think!! Enjoy!

Chapter 7: In which we discover just how stubborn Jack O'Neill can be, as two members of SG-1 reach a very important decision.

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Daniel carried his tray of food across to SG-1's usual table in the commissary, where Colonel O'Neill was already sitting. He'd been there some time by the looks of it, and had barely touched his food, which was now cold. Daniel sat down carefully opposite his friend, watching him push the food around his plate with a fork for some minutes, staring resolutely at it.

"Sooo..." Daniel started cautiously. Jack had barely said a word during the debriefing. He'd gone between looking vaguely stunned to glaring in concentration, to just plain confused, switching constantly. Daniel felt great pity for him, and for Sam; this situation put them in a very difficult position, one which they all knew would irrevocably alter the teams dynamic; for good or bad was impossible to tell yet. Eventually, Jack's eyes slid up to meet Daniels.

"What?" He mumbled grumpily. Daniel sensed the warning in his voice; Jack was not in the mood to talk this through. Well, tough. He had to.

"So, have you talked to Sam yet?" Daniel asked bravely.

"No." More shunting food blithely around.

"Don't... Don't you think you might need to?" Daniel cringed pre-emptively as he spoke, sucking in his breath. He knew Jack O'Neill was a dangerous man to try and force to talk.

"Nope."

"Ah... Why not?" Daniel blinked innocently at his friend.

"Because it's her decision." Jack stated flatly, as though that explained everything.

"Jack, it's your decision too... It's your baby too. You have a right, you're expected, to be involved in this." Daniel gestured with his fork, frowning gently at Jack. He just didn't understand the man sometimes. He could be so stubborn.

"That doesn't matter."

"How, Jack, how can you say that?" Daniel stammered in disbelief. It had been decided the matter would be kept between SG-1, General Hammond and Doctor Fraiser for as long as possible, to allow some privacy around the issue, and Daniel was speaking in fierce whispers.

"Daniel," Jack's eyes locked with his friends, glaring fiercely at him. "Don't you get it? Carter's the one that's pregnant, here. If she keeps the baby, she leaves SG-1. It doesn't affect my position, whatever she decides. Whatever decision she makes, she has to live with it." He hissed aggressively, voice deathly quiet, eyes in narrow slits. Daniel, frustrated but undeterred, stood up.

"And so do you," he said quietly, as he walked past Jack towards the exit. Jack sighed heavily, glaring at the wall ahead of him as he resolutely tried to ignore the truth of Daniel's parting words.

..--00--..

Sam sat in her lab, head on folded arms. Her leg was still sore, but thankfully she'd been released from the infirmary. She didn't even make it to her lab without having to dash to the nearest facilities to throw up again. She sighed heavily. This really, really sucked. She knew Colonel O'Neill was avoiding her, but she just couldn't make this decision without him. She could only guess at what being a father meant to him. He was just made to be a father. But what if, what if he didn't want to be one now, to her child? How would they work it out? What if she did decide to go ahead with it, but then miscarried? Janet had told her plainly that the possibility was relatively high; after the stresses her body had suffered over the years, it made sense. Terminating the pregnancy now would save the heartache. But what if... What if it worked? But she couldn't know that. And it would mean giving up SG-1, giving up going offworld, for who knows how long. Any child of hers, especially of her and Jack, would no doubt be of great interest to the NID. She knew she wouldn't trust any one else to look after her child, but where did that leave her? She was a scientist, yes, but a soldier also. The air force, SG-1, was her life. Going out and kicking Goa'uld butt, that was what she did. So many times, she knew it was her actions that saved SG-1, saved the planet. Could she be so selfish as to give that up? Could she ever work with Colonel O'Neill again, ever look him in the eyes again, knowing that she'd terminated his, their, child? Knowing they may never have another chance?

She'd tried thinking through it logically, looking it at it from an impersonal perspective, assessing the pros and cons. But it just didn't work. She couldn't do it. Either choice could result in disaster and sadness, and could spell the end of SG-1. This was so not how this was supposed to happen.

She stood up decidedly, wincing as her body argued. This really, really, really sucked. She wished Jacob was around to help her, but according to the Tok'ra he was on an extended mission and out of contact. In any case, she dreaded his reaction at finding out she was pregnant with Colonel O'Neill's child. Boy, would they have fun explaining that one. She walked out of her lab, heading to the Colonel's office. This wasn't going to be pleasant, she knew it, but it had to be done.

..--00--..

Jack looked up, his yo-yo dropping, tangled, to the floor, at the soft tap on his door.

"Sir?"

"Carter!" He said in surprise as her head poked round the door. He looked away, anywhere else, pulling his yo-yo back up with far more concentration than was necessary. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Sorry, Sir," she smiled, stepping fully into the room, closing the door behind her. He looked up nervously. She clasped her hands, equally nervous, smiling shyly. "I, figured you were avoiding me. You're never in you office, Sir, no-one would think to look for you here. So, I figured this was the best place to try."

"Ah." He nodded; she'd caught him out. He couldn't help but be impressed; she knew him so well, understood him so well. He had no doubt she'd known exactly where he'd be. She was so perceptive. "And, so?" He looked up, not quite meeting her eyes, squinting as though it offered some sort of protection, some guard around his soul, which felt dangerously exposed.

"Sir... We really need to talk." She paused. "About this." She gestured vaguely at her stomach, as though some clarification were needed. She winced as her leg twinged.

"Oh, hell Carter, sit down," Jack flustered, berating himself for having forgotten her injury.

"Thank you, Sir," she smiled gratefully, taking a seat. "So... We should talk."

"We should?" Jack questioned. Dammit, he didn't want to do this. He couldn't be selfish. He couldn't let his own feelings sway her, change her life. He knew her. He knew if he intimated what he felt, that he wanted a child with Sam more than anything, desire greater than he ever thought he could feel again, if she knew that, she would choose that too. Regardless of her own feelings. Because that's the good little soldier she was. He could not, would not let that happen.

"Yes, Sir. Permission to speak freely?"

"Of course. Go ahead," he invited softly. Sam took a deep breath. And another. She exhaled forcefully, staring at her hands in her lap. She could feel Jack's patient gaze on her. Finally, she gathered her courage and looked him in the eye.

"Colonel, I can't decide whether or not to keep this baby without knowing your feelings on the matter." Dammit, she was staring him down. Putting on his best poker face, letting nothing show in his eyes, he spoke calmly.

"Carter, my feelings on the matter should not affect you. It's your decision." Sam's eyebrows furrowed.

"Sir? How can you say that?" Her voice began to rise slightly, before she regained control. "Sir... If I have this baby, it's your child too. I can't just go ahead with that without knowing if that's what you want too. I don't have that right." She sighed in frustration. "Likewise, Sir, I cannot terminate this baby without knowing if you want it or not. Again, Sir, I don't feel I have the right." She held her breath, waiting for his reaction. Jack looked down briefly, assessing her words. He met her gaze again, calm, resolute. He would maintain this. He would not give in.

"Carter... Sam." The use of her first name stunned both officers for a few brief seconds, attesting to his sincerity. He spoke firmly, willing her with his eyes to trust him, believe him. "I will support whatever decision you choose."

"But Sir, I -" she began to protest.

"Carter." He snapped, his voice taking a sharp tone. He hated it, this was killing him inside. But he had to. "I don't have the right to influence your decision." He sighed, torment raging behind his mask. "Look. This is your life, your body we're talking about, here. Your decision doesn't affect me, doesn't affect my position. Nothing would change for me, other than..." he faltered, gesturing vaguely between them. This was far more talking than he was comfortable with. His eyes closed briefly, and he started again, the pain and confusion in her eyes almost too much to bear. "This will affect you far more than it does me, Carter. It's your career we're talking about here. That has to be your choice, and yours alone." He looked resolutely at her, refusing to back down. Conveying his sincerity and sympathy with his eyes.

"Sir, I..." She faltered, head falling between her hands. This was so hard. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Didn't he understand how difficult this was? "I.. can't," she stammered, blinking away the threat of tears. Her fist thumped her uninjured leg in frustration. "How can you expect me to work out what I should do if you won't tell me how you feel?"

"Dammit, Carter," he rose to his feet, fist slamming on the desk as he shouted, more at himself than at her. "It's because I will not, I will not allow my selfishness to affect your future! I will not allow my feelings to influence a decision that affects the rest of your life!" His fist slammed down again determinedly. "I will NOT allow you to throw away your military position or your chance at a family based on what I may or may not want!" The silence following his outburst hung heavy in the air. He remained standing, glaring. Sam remained sitting, staring in confusion and turmoil. Her expression changed to one of firm decisiveness. Standing to meet him, she spoke bravely, her voice wavering, barely noticeably.

"Alright, Sir. Please just answer me this." She paused, weighing up her words. "Just answer me honestly... If I terminate this baby... Will you be able to work with me in the same way again? Will you be able to look in my eyes, when we're on a mission, in a dangerous situation, will you be able to look at me and not think about or be affected by the fact that I did that? That we lost that opportunity?" She leaned on the table in a semi-aggressive pose, mirroring his position, both glaring at the other with determination. Silence reigned for an age. Her expression changed, eyes pleading with him, begging him to answer her. To tell her the truth. To open up, for once. Slowly, finally, his eyes softened. He looked down at the table, letting his eyes close.

"No." He spoke the word so gently she barely heard it. Sam heaved a sigh of relief.

"Thank you," she whispered. They both drew back, Sam taking a seat again, Jack leaning casually against his desk. There was an air of truce, the beginning of an understanding between them.

"Sir..."

"Mm?"

"I..." Sam took the plunge. "I don't think I could, Sir."

"Could what?" He frowned lightly. He'd no idea how much she loved that expression. The expression when he knew he should know what she meant, but just didn't quite get it. She smiled fondly, meeting his gaze.

"I don't think I could give this up, Sir. The baby," she clarified.

"Oh," his eyebrows raised a little, a feeling of pleasant surprise spreading through his gut slowly.

"I don't think I could live with myself, knowing I'd thrown away the chance of having your baby." She smiled faintly, feeling some pressure lift off her with the admission. Her head ducked, avoiding his searching eyes, unwilling to confirm what the admission meant. She couldn't live with herself having thrown away a chance at them.

"I guess you'd always wonder, huh." Jack commented.

"Yeah." He knew. She knew he knew. They just couldn't find the courage to say it. The thought struck her as ridiculous; they had the courage to take decisions regarding the safety of a planet, the courage to face unspeakably evil enemies without fear, the courage to look death in the eye. They just didn't have the courage to admit that all they wanted was each other, and their child.

"Carter.." he drew her name out, pondering, stalling, unsure. "Look..." he paused, fiddling with the yo-yo left lying on his desk, staring intently at it. "I... You're sure about this, right?" He couldn't quite believe it; he had to be sure first.

"Yes Sir," she nodded firmly. "I understand it would mean giving up SG-1, but if General Hammond is able to work around that, and you support my decision, I would like to take the chance... I may not get another," she added softly, thoughtfully. Jack lowered his head in understanding. He understood perfectly, in fact, more than she could know.

"Of course we'd support you, Carter. The thing is..." He struggled to find the right words. Oiy, he couldn't do this. Feelings were so not his cup of tea. The thought of admitting his feelings to her was terrifying, he just couldn't get the words out. No matter that, if she went ahead with this, there would be no barriers of rank in their way. That terrified him, too. He just couldn't. He spoke slowly, carefully. "Carter, I... Listen. If you do this..." he met her eyes, trying to convey more than his words could. It was easier that way. "If you do this, I need you to understand something." She nodded in anticipation. Jack took a deep breath. "I want to be involved." He said, finally. There was no going back now. He continued, her brow rising gradually as he spoke. He'd done it, now he had to continue. "I want you to understand, that that baby will come as a package. With me." He couldn't put his precise feelings into words; that it meant more to him than he could say to be given another chance; but he knew she understood. She smiled weakly.

"Yes, Sir." Her smile grew a little stronger, a delicate blush beginning to tint her cheeks. "In fact, Colonel, if I may.. I was kinda hoping you'd say that."

Slow smiles of understanding spread across the two officers faces. They gazed at each other, beginning to unlock the doors, letting something through. Jack stuffed his hands in his pockets awkwardly, looking at his feet.

"So... you're sure about this?" He had to be sure. If there was any uncertainty, it would spell doom for them and for SG-1. She met his eyes firmly.

"Yes, Sir."

"Sweet." He smiled; an unrestrained, genuinely happy smile that warmed her heart to see. She grinned back.

"Well, Sir, I'd better go talk to General Hammond..." She gestured over her shoulder with her thumb, standing.

"Oh, sure," Jack said, the next steps of procedure having completely passed him by, their importance paling beside the fact that he and Carter had, sort of, admitted to the something, whatever it was, between them. He thought. He was pretty sure. But it still scared him too much to think about too deeply. He stood, coming to Sam's side. "Mind if I come along?"

"No, Sir," she smiled, as she began to walk down the corridor. She faltered, hand going immediately to her stomach. Jack was at her side in a second, hand reassuringly on her back.

"Carter?"

"Nothing.. I.. I'm fine, Sir." She straightened, stepping forwards delicately. "A little nausea, that's all." She smiled gently. "Guess I'd better get used to that, huh."

They continued toward the elevator, each barely suppressing ecstatic grins. This would be.. Very different. Difficult to start with, undoubtedly. But undoubtedly, in both of their minds, fantastic.

TBC

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A/N: Phew!! That was intense to write. I really, really hope you liked it! Darn their stubborness, huh? But they got there! And don't worry, this is by no means the end!! Thank you so much for reading. As always, your thoughts and responses would be lovely!