Chapter 15: Jacob

Choosing Alliances

Leaving Sam's pack changed so many things in my life. For one thing I had a pep in my step that I had not had since I discovered that I had the werewolf gene. I felt lighter, happier than I had in ages. I was pretty sure that these changes hadn't only affected me either. The rest of Sam's pack seemed to be unraveling itself at the seams due to my departure. I hadn't been aware that I held the pack together.

Leah and I had a newfound respect for each other and she was actually the first one to leave Sam's pack and join mine. I had resisted at first, not really wanting a pack, but she had insisted and there was no arguing with Leah. Naturally Seth had followed right along, always following his sister's lead. That was fine with me because I really did like Seth.

I knew that the original pack members were going to stick with Sam; they didn't have many ties to me anyway. It was Quil and Embry that seemed to be the most greatly affected by the changes though. It was almost like they were the children of a messy divorce, not sure who to live with. I didn't like the way my best friends were feeling, but I wasn't about to go back to Sam with my tail between my legs….literally. That was not even a remote possibility at that point.

It was very pleasant to not have to run patrol. I mean, I still tried to look out for the people in Forks and La Push. I still felt I needed to protect them from the vamps, but there didn't seem to be too much to worry about anyway, there didn't seem to be vamps anywhere. Well….besides our beloved Cullens anyway. I didn't know where Leah had gotten her information from, and for some reason she was not budging on this information, but it seemed like she had been wrong on this one. Whoever her source had been did not seem very reliable to me. But, regardless, we were being very careful.

The situation with Jamie had not been affected by my newfound happiness, however. Things were just as confusing for me as ever on that front. I did everything I could to avoid her, which was hard to do when everything in my being cried out to be near her. I felt invisible cords connecting us, which I actually used to avoid her, strangely enough. I knew where she was and therefore it was easier to stay away.

I knew she was confused and I felt bad about that. She had called me day after day since New Years and I never answered the phone. Clearly, if she had a brain in her head she would have gotten the hint that I didn't want to talk to her. When her calls tapered off to only one a week, I felt pretty confident that she was moving on. That was really for the best. I mean if I pissed her off maybe she wouldn't want me and then the imprint would be a lot easier. I mean, they say that the imprinter would be whatever the imprintee needs. Hopefully she needed a buddy who avoided her at all costs, cause that's just about the only job I would have willingly applied for.

I was at my locker, about a week after Leah and Seth had joined up with me. Quil and Embry had lockers right near mine and I didn't think anything of it when they walked over near me.

Quil cleared his throat really loudly to announce his presence.

"Yeah, I know you're there, asshole." I told him.

"Who are you calling an asshole, asshole? I'm not the one who abandoned his pack and his friends."

"I didn't abandon my friends. I just decided that Sam's pack wasn't working out for me anymore. There's a big difference between what I did and spitting in your face and stomping on you. Get a grip." I slammed my locker shut and tried to get the hell out of there as quickly as I could. I hated the idea of getting into a big argument with my friends in that moment, and I could also feel Jamie was quickly approaching.

Embry reached out and grabbed my arm, "no Jake, don't run off this time. We have some things we'd like to say to you."

I looked at Embry, he seemed like he was trying to be nice enough, but I really wanted to get the hell out of there. "Look Embry, I'm sorry that you guys are pissed at me, but I don't feel like talking about this right here, right now."

"Then when will you talk to us?"

I folded my arms, so irritated it wasn't funny, "I don't know, you are welcome to come over anytime you like."

I tried once again to get the hell away from there and go anywhere; I would have hid out in the girl's bathroom if I thought it could have saved me from my impending doom. Wow, I was really pathetic….I was thinking about running into a beautiful, sweet girl and considering it to be the worst thing in the world.

Embry grabbed onto my arm, "what's the big rush, Jake?"

I glared at him, "I need to get out of here, okay?"

Embry and Quil looked at each other, eyebrows raised.

"Hey dude, relax, okay?" Embry said.

"I can't, she's going to be over here any minute."

Oops, I shouldn't have let that slip from my mouth.

"She who?" Quil asked, looking around the hallway, "I thought Bella was back at school?"

"She is." I said, my mouth going dry as I spotted Jamie walking around the corner. I knew I needed to just take off running in the other direction, but my feet wouldn't let me. Once I could see her face I was hooked. My stomach jumped into my throat and I felt sick.

"Jake, dude, are you alright?" Embry asked, concerned. Then he turned and noticed who I was looking at and it was as if a light bulb went off in his head. Embry's whole face lit up like a Christmas tree, "you didn't."

I stood there, frozen, like a statue. My heart was racing, my palms were sweating and beads of sweat were forming on my forehead. I felt helpless, completely out of control over my own body. I couldn't respond to him, so I just nodded.

Quil looked at Embry confused, "what did he do?"

Embry nodded his head in the direction of the quickly approaching Jamie. Apparently Quil caught on because he two had a grin on his face that went from one ear to the other. I rolled my eyes, why was this happening to me?

As I stood there like a moron, Jamie walked over to me, a look of frustration and curiosity on her face. "It's nice to see that you're still alive." She looked me up and down and I couldn't help but notice the little flash of excitement that went off in those beautiful green eyes.

There was a moan in my throat that I fought to swallow. I couldn't let her get the best of me; that was not the way to handle this. I took a second to catch my breath and nodded at her, "yeah." That was clearly one of my finest moments right there….real words of genius.

She folded her arms in front of her, "why haven't you returned any of my calls?"

Clearly she was pissed at me, and rightfully so, but I felt like I was being lectured by my mommy or something.

My throat was dry and I wasn't sure any sound was going to come out, but I gave it the old college try regardless, "I've been really busy. I'm sorry."

She glared at me; she seemed to be processing what to say next. She appeared as though she wanted to speak, but then she stopped and just looked at me. Something about the way she looked at me changed, her gaze seemed softer all the sudden. She quickly pulled me aside, away from my nosy friends, where we could talk alone. I wasn't sure how I felt about this, but I felt obligated to go along with it. "I thought things were going rather nicely for us for a while there."

Instinctively, I reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, a rather intimate thing to do. Why was I so stupid and conflicted? Why was I so cursed? And, why the hell was I sounding as moody and angsty as Edward? WTF!

"Jamie," I whispered, sensitively, "I'm sorry about avoiding you. I've had a lot on my mind and I just need some time to sort everything out. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"She reached up and ran her hands through my hair, which sent shivers down my spine, "Is there someone else?"

I frowned; I didn't know how to answer this question. "I don't know Jamie, I'm just going through some things right now and I need some time."

"You know, I've always been a really good listener." She smiled at me sensitively, "My friends tell me it is one of my best qualities."

My hand went out and grabbed onto her waist, pulling her closer to me. My heart started to beat faster and I felt out of control. Within mere seconds she was completely up against me, her mouth against mine in a fervent kiss, which grew deeper with each passing second.

I drew a mental picture of Bella in my mind; Bella cooking in my kitchen, wearing my clothes. Damn, that had been one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen in my entire life. It was second only to the sight of her completely naked body as we explored each other sexually for our very first time. I had to keep Bella's face in my mind in order to stop me from stealing Jamie away and taking her passionately. I quickly let go of her, forcing myself to pull free of those invisible ties that bound us together. This wasn't right; I had to make this right.

She frowned, "You can touch me, it's okay."

"I just can't right now." I shook my head; I must have appeared a crazy mess, because that's how I felt. "I need time, I'm sorry." With that I got away as quickly as I could and ran in the other direction.

I never stopped running, until I got to Leah's house. I knew it seemed crazy to imagine myself feeling comforted at the thought of talking to Leah about the imprint and the associated feelings that went with it, but she had been there for me and we had formed a unique bond that made me feel as though it was right to go to her. I had bolted from the school and just ran, on two legs….not wanting anyone in my head, not knowing where I had intended to go, until it hit me.

When I got to the Clearwater's I was exhausted and completely out of breath. I had been running for thirty minutes straight. My calf muscles were trembling and I could barely move my body as I stood at their door, waiting for someone to open it.

When Leah finally did open the door, she looked at me, confused. She seemed uncomfortable, worried even. I wondered what could make her like that. I cocked my head to the side, "is everything alright?"

"Jake, what are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you about something."

She gave me a sympathetic look; I still wasn't used to that, "now isn't really a very good time. Do you think we could possibly meet later on, maybe at your place?"

"Please Leah. I'm sorry to bother you, but it's very important." I massaged my leg muscles, while still standing in their doorway, "I didn't even bring the rabbit, I just ran here."

She raised an eyebrow, "On how many legs?"

I smiled, "two."

"Oh geez, you must really need to talk to me."

"I do." I was being so blasted needy, but I couldn't help it.

At that moment, Seth walked out of Leah's bedroom, a huge smile on his face. As soon as he saw me, the smile disappeared. Why in the world would Seth react that way to seeing me? "Hey Seth, what's up?"

"Jake." He said, giving Leah a frantic look. What the hell was going on?

"What's up, guys?"

Leah plastered a fake smile on her face, "nothing's up, everything is just fine. Isn't it Seth?"

Seth glared at his sister but gave me a nice smile, "yeah, everything's great."

"You realize that I can make you tell me, right?"

Leah folded her arms, "but you won't. I know you won't."
I sighed, of course I wasn't going to pull a Sam and force them to do something they didn't want to do, just because I was their alpha. I didn't roll like that. But, they didn't need to use that against me, either.

"Look Jake, why don't you go home and get started on your homework and I will be over in a little while?" She smiled at me, trying to appease me, but I wasn't buying it.

"Come on Leah, I'm your pack leader, if something big is going on I should know about it."

"Nothing is going on, now go home."

I turned my attention to Seth; I knew he was the easier one to break. "Hey Seth, you sure you're alright, cause you're looking kinda green?"

Seth turned to Leah, frantically. She smiled at him, "why don't you go work on that thing you need to do?"

Seth gave her a blank look for a second and then he seemed as though he understood what she was saying to him, "right, I'll go work on that. See you later, Jacob." He turned to walk away.

"Now, come on you two." I shouted, loudly enough to startle Seth, who turned back to look at me. "You guys have never acted like this around me. What in the hell is going on?"

She sighed, "We can't tell you. Now, will you kindly leave us alone?"

"And why can't you tell me?"

"Because I asked them not to." I thought my ears were deceiving me; there was no way that Bella could be standing in the very same room. I must have been making things up, after what had happened with Jamie at school. I looked up and blinked a couple of times to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me and sure enough, Bella was standing there, a discontented frown on her face.

I moved towards her. Leah took Seth's arm and guided him out of the room to give us privacy. I looked at her, she looked frightened and disheveled. What was wrong with her? Why was she there?

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you at school?"

She frowned, looking down at the floor, "It wasn't safe there. The Volturi is after me."

The realization of what she was saying to me hit me like a ton of bricks, "You're Leah's source."

She nodded at me, very sadly. I reached for her, pulling her close to my body, where she fit perfectly. It was as if we were created to be together….but that was such a stark contrast to the whole imprint situation.

I kissed her all over and she melted against me. My mouth was at her ear, "Bella, honey, you could have told me. I would have kept you safe."

I could feel her trembling against me and I longed to make everything better. Why did I always seem to make things more complicated all the time? I hated the way the wolf was ruining everything. I finally had everything I ever wanted and he has to go and fuck it up! How was that fair?

"I didn't think I should, under the circumstances." The sobs that came from deep inside her were too much for me to bear. They resounded with so much desperation and helplessness that my soul ached in response.