Okay, I'm SO SORRY, I know it took me extremely long to update this story! But I had an important examination last Thursday, and I really had to study for it, because there will be no chance to do it again in case I failed. So I wrote this chapter between studying and working....I hope there aren't too many mistakes ;)
(I also have two examinations next week, so probably it will take me a while to write the next chapter, but I promise to update as fast as possible!)
A big THANK YOU for all the reviews!!! They really make me extremly happy!!
Oh, I almost forgot: One of you mentioned if I have a Beta....unfortunately I don't have one, so if anyone of you wants to be my Beta just write me a message or a review....it would be great to have someone to help me!
so, but now enjoy the new chapter!! :D
Chapter 3:
Temperance was able to fight the tears during the whole phone-call with Cam, concentrating on what she was saying, trying to answer her questions as good as possible, but as she put down the phone, she couldn't take it any longer and burst into tears again.
She felt helpless and angry at the same time. She used to be so strong and rational – at least she thought she was all that – but now she sat there on her couch, unable to stop the damn tears from falling; crying about things she couldn't change. So maybe, she wasn't so rational at all.
She felt like 17 again, the last time she cried that hard about something. No. Not something – the same thing. But she was an adult now - Dr. Temperance Brennan , world known forensic anthropologist and bestselling author – she should know better ways to cope with those feelings than crying. She should do something useful, like drive to the Jeffersonian and continue working on the case, but all she wanted to do was curl up on her couch and forget everything.
And that was exactly why she hated feelings. They only make you weak and one day you end up like this. She just couldn't understand why she was the only one who knew how dangerous it was to open up to your emotions. She used to be like all the others when she was young, and she paid – still pays – the price for it. But was she really the only one who had learned her lesson?
Memories from the past started flooding her brain, which made her cry even harder. At one point she must've fallen asleep, because the tears stopped – but the memories didn't.
*****
"Will it hurt?" she looked straight into the doctor's eyes – crystal blue meeting jade green – hoping the woman wouldn't see how afraid she was.
"No. You'll be sleeping during the whole procedure and we will give you pain medication for the days after. Maybe you will feel a little weak for a few days, but it won't hurt much. But listen Temperance, are you sure you want to do this. You know it's okay to change your mind, and everyone will understand if you are too afraid to do it."
"But it's the only way to help him, right?"
"Yes, it is."
"Then I'm sure."
"Tempe, are you really sure?" her mum asked, looking down at her 12 year old daughter, concern shimmering in her eyes.
"Yes, mum, I am. Don't worry, everything will be fine."
"Okay, baby. We will be waiting outside, but we will be there when you wake up. We love you."
"I love you too."
****
The four of them were sitting at their usual table at the karaoke bar, like they used to do every Friday night – just that this wasn't an usual Friday night. Today was their most important anniversary, and they were celebrating nothing less than life tonight.
"So, I'm next." Jason said and stood up.
"Wait – YOU are next? What are you going to sing? I haven't noticed you wrote your name on the list."
"You couldn't have seen it, because I did it a few days ago. And I won't tell you what I'm going to sing, because it's a surprise. Today is a special day, you know."
"Yeah, I know." she said smiling. He gave her a quick kiss and started moving towards the stage.
Temperance couldn't believe this was really happening. Jason truly wanted to sing – right here, right now and all alone. Sure he had a great voice, and she loved it to hear him sing and he knew that, but he had never sung in front of such a big audience before, because he didn't like it. Yeah, they were singing a lot together when they were alone and sometimes a duet at this bar, but Jason always said that he was better at playing guitar than at singing.
She was brought back to reality when she heard Jason's voice speaking through the microphone. She looked at the stage and wondered where he had been hiding his guitar all evening.
"Hey everybody. Tonight I'll sing a song, written by myself, for the woman I love.", he said looking directly into her eyes.
It was the most beautiful song she had ever heard, and it was hers. 'He really wrote a song for me.' she thought. 'He is incredible.'
When he was finished everybody applauded and Jason made his way back to their table. It was then she realized, that the microphone was still in his hands.
'What the – ' she thought, but was caught off guard as he dropped to his knees right in front of her, pulling a small box out of his pocket. The whole bar was silent – you could have heard a needle falling down on the floor – and all eyes were fixed on the two of them.
'Oh. My. God.' was all she could think, as he started to speak.
"Temperance Brennan, you're the most beautiful woman and the most fascinating person I have ever met. You're not only the love of my life, you're also my soulmate. There is nothing I want more than spend the rest of my life with you – be your family. What I want to say is: Temperance Brennan, will you marry me?"
"Of course I will" she whispered, afraid her voice would break if she spoke louder. He took the ring – the prettiest ring she had ever seen – out of the box and put it onto her finger, before he pulled her up into his arms for a passionate kiss. None of them noticed that the whole bar was applauding.
****
"So, what's that supposed to mean?" Alice asked the fear audible in her voice.
"It means he will die." she said, knowing that there couldn't be any other possibility.
"Tempe, don't say that! He is strong, he'll be okay, right doctor?"
"I'm sorry Mrs. Matthews" Doctor Smith answered "But it's the truth. Right now there is nothing we can do to help him. You can hope for a miracle, but honestly I don't think there will be one."
"Does he know?"
"No. I wanted to talk to you first. Who do you want to be the one who-"
"I'll tell him." Temperance said, moving towards the door.
"Tempe, you can't go inside, you know-"
"It doesn't matter anymore Alice. He'll die. Nothing can make it any worse."
"Hey."
"Hey, what….what are you doing here? You aren't allowed to be inside of my room….unless…it doesn't matter, but in that case there are only two possibilities….and from the look on your face I think it isn't the good one." She sat down on the chair beside his bed, tears shimmering in her eyes.
"I'll die, right?"
"Yeah." she whispered and took his hand in hers.
"I'm so sorry, I should've done more to stop this from happening, but now-"
"Hey, hey…shhh…" he said while wiping away the tears which were now running down her cheeks.
"It's not your fault, okay? You've done everything you could – even more than I should have asked for. Come here, honey." He motioned for her to crawl into his bed and took her into his arms as she did.
"Everything will be fine." he whispered into her ear.
"How can you say that? Nothing will be fine! I'll be all alone, and I don't think I can do all this alone. I need you to be here with me, I need you to help me….there are so many important things we never talked about and now it's too late."
"You won't be alone baby, you won't be alone." he reassured her, tightening the embrace.
"I promised I would never leave you and I won't. I'll always be right there." he said as he put his hand directly above her heart."
"But it's impossible-"
"Shhh…forget about your facts, Tempe. You won't be able to see me or talk to me, but as long as you remember me, I'll be there."
"You promise?"
"I promise." he said, placing a kiss – sweet and innocent, but full of love – on her lips.
*****
She awoke at the sound of her ringing phone. It took her a few minutes to realize where she was, but then she was able to localize it on the coffee table. She looked at the display and sighed. Angela. She wouldn't buy her story as easy as Cam.
"Hey Angela."
"Hey sweetie, are you alright? When Cam said you wouldn't be in today I thought she was kidding, but it's nearly 11 now and I got worried, so what happened?"
"Really Ange, it's no big deal. I don't feel well so I thought it would be the best to stay at home today. But I'm sure I'll be at work tomorrow."
"Okay, first of all – no big deal?! Are you kidding? Through all of these years, you never stayed at home because you 'didn't feel well', a few months ago-when you had that really bad flew-you nearly collapsed at the lab, because you refused to go home. So don't tell me it's no big deal, because it is."
" I went home, when I had that bad flu!"
"Yeah, because Booth forced you to. He just took your bag and your coat and told you – I quote 'If you don't go to the car by yourself, I'll carry you. Really, Temperance, I mean it", so that doesn't count. And now please tell me what is wrong."
"There is nothing wrong Ange, really."
"You know, you're a lousy liar."
"Fine I am, but I just don't want to talk about it right now. I can't talk about it, okay?" Angela must have noticed how desperate and weak her voice sounded because she let it go.
"Okay, but only under one condition: you call me if you need anything- promise me."
"I promise Ange. Bye."
"Bye sweetie."
She put the phone back on the table and went towards the kitchen to get herself some water. She hadn't eaten in a while she recognized, but she wasn't hungry. She wasn't thirsty either, but after all that crying she needed to drink something. She returned to the living room and for the first time in years she wished she had a TV. But because she didn't have one, she kept staring at her wall while she tried to find a way to put all these memories and feelings back to where they came from.
so....who thought it would be Booth, who made the proposal?? raise your hands xD (but don't forget to klick on the lovely green button with your other hand^^)