Epilogue: Bella

Yes, as it turns out….Alice had been right. This story really was about me and my choices. Everything I did affected those around me. I got myself involved with vampires, which put everyone I knew and loved (including myself) in terrible danger.

Edward had been selfish in keeping me around. He had folded and allowed his feelings to cloud his judgment. He was determined to keep me safe from harm, but how could he protect me from himself? He was just so beautiful and enchanting…..I got lost in his eyes. I wanted to build a future on something as frivolous as looks. I was a naïve, immature child.

When Jacob came into the picture I was too busy being in pain to notice what was in front of my face. I had a guy who loved me for who I truly was on the inside…not just the girl I pretended to be. He saw me in a way that no one else did and make me feel alive again…a feeling that was incredible, especially to someone who had been so willing to throw her life away.

Sure, when you're seventeen all relationships seem like they're going to last forever, but nine times out of ten, they never do. At seventeen you aren't able to truly know yourself and who you're going to turn out to be in the end. It is right to love with your whole being and to want to devote everything you have to the one you love….but you should never have to give up yourself in the process. You should never have to lay down your life just to be with someone. You see….Edward and I could never have been together unless I had been changed. This was a fact that pushed me into changing in the first place. I hadn't wanted to be a vampire….I wanted to be beautiful, graceful and everything I thought that I wasn't….but I never wanted to be a vampire, not really.

It took a lot of soul searching and growing for me to realize that I had all those things that I had longed for. I had beauty, I had grace, I had love. Sure, it wasn't what I had originally picked out for myself, but the love I found in Jacob was more real than anything I had ever felt in my whole life. He made me feel like I was perfect the way I was, something that I never felt around Edward.

A lot changed in my life after that day in front of Leah's house. Jake had finally imprinted on me…something we had both wanted for a long time. We were finally able to be together, completely. He could continue to be the wolf for as long as he chose to, because he no longer had reasons to be mad at him, and I knew that someday he would stop phasing and grow old with me.

What a concept that is…growing old with someone. It's so powerful. I hadn't ever realized all the things that I would have given up if I had been with Edward and completely given in to being changed.

But, Jacob and I could have these things; we could eat together, sleep together, dream together, we could listen to our heartbeats accelerate as we made love together. We could have all the fleeting, amazing things of life, and what's more…..we could truly live. I could wake up every morning next to the most incredible man I had ever known and know that he was mine until we died. And though death was so morbid and unhappy, we knew that someday we'd be in a better place….together.

About a year after the day that Jamie died, we were married. Charlie had to have been happier than both of us put together. He had dreamt of Jacob and I being together for so long and I swear his buttons were going to pop off his tuxedo shirt. Yes, I made him wear a tuxedo…and so did Jacob. He was just so happy to have me in his life and be able to be with me he would have worn a pink tuxedo if I had insisted. I thought that was sweet, but saved him the embarrassment.

Two months after our wedding I found out that I was pregnant. It was the happiest day of my life….well up until our little bundle of joy actually came into this world. We named him Benjamin, whose name means 'son of my right hand' or 'beloved son'. This was also the name of Jacob's most favorite son from the Bible. I thought it was fitting and he couldn't deny me.

Carlisle actually delivered the baby, which was weird, but I trusted him more than anyone else. I knew I would be in the best possible hands. He was delighted that we asked him to have this honor, but I knew he was sad for his beloved son who was alone.

I felt bad about that too, I truly did. Edward had been my first love and a huge part of my life for a long time. I wanted him to find his happiness and his peace with himself. I kept my vampire almost-family close to my heart and in my life. I visited often and brought the baby over for them to play with. I truly had the best of both worlds….the family that I had wanted for so long and the man who completed me and made me want to be alive. I had everything I could have ever wanted or needed. It's funny how things have a way of working out for the best, even when you think there is no way that they could.