Yay. I got reviewed. At least now I know my story isn't totally stupid. Thanks guys! And if you feel like suggesting a few plot ideas, feel free to do so! This chapter is a bit shorter, but as always, have fun reading!
Chapter 2
Amy was nervous. She wasn't biting on her nails though. She wasn't that nervous. She was EVEN MORE NERVOUS and decided to bite on her fingers. She didn't even have fingernails, so why would she chew on them? Either way, Amy was nervous as the author reiterated again and again and again and again…
In the rafters of the roof of the courtroom, Shadow was looking down on the spectacle before him. Tails was waiting patiently below him for Sonic to come back.
"I wonder how that kid friend of Sonic's will fare." Shadow thought to himself.
He secretly hoped that Tails would win. Even if he was defending his rival Sonic, he did not like the idea of a random crime being blamed on someone for no reason. Why had it happened anyway? It puzzled Shadow for a moment, but then Sonic came back out and all the attention in the room was diverted to Sonic.
"This should be interesting…" Shadow whispered quietly. A small grin escaped his face as he prepared to watch the trial.
"Court is back in session." The judge said as he banged the gavel. The silence was deafening.
The author then got writer's block because he was tired and could not think of what to type next. That is until the judge started laughing at him for actually getting writer's block as he predicted. The author tired of Mr. Dix's "I told you so"s more than his actual fatigue, so he decided to press on with the plot of the story after this randomly nonsensical filler that he wrote because he was tired.
"Court reporter, read the last line again before Mr. Prower's request."
"Next case on the docket, People vs. Sonic the hedgehog. Charges are…"
"Right. Charges held against the defendant are trespassing, vandalism, and malicious destruction of public property. If there are any other pre-case motions, present them now."
Silence.
"Alright then. We'll start with the voir dire. We have 30 potential jury members. The prosecution and defense will each get 6 strikes. The prosecution will start us off."
"Thank you." Mr. Wood said woodenly as he started to question the jurors.
A PAINFUL 1 MINUTE LATER…
"Thank you Mr. Wood. Defense council may now do their voir dire. There are 24 jury members left…"
"Thank you Your Honor." Tails replied as he stood up and started to pace in front of the jury."
"What is this kid doing? I thought he would've tried to do this faster than me, but he's just taking his sweet time…like he wants to throw me off…well I won't be tricked. This kid is taking a long time on purpose. OBVIOUSLY he could go MUCH faster and make me look like a doofus…"
And as Mr. Wood wondered why Tails wasn't be so speedy about the voir dire, Tails stopped and turned to juror number 3.
"WHAT…is your favorite, COLOR?!" Tails asked fervently.
"OH MA GOSSSHHH! BLUE!" the middle aged chipmunk screamed in delight as he looked over to Sonic and gave a huge thumbs up.
The crowd just stared at the potential juror.
And while that was happening, the author was crying with tears AGAIN as he realized that he made a Monty Python reference AND confused the readers as to what voir dire even is (it's only where the lawyers review the jurors and get a chance to dismiss them if they think the jurors won't be sympathetic towards their cause).
"Objection." the dog had hesitated for a moment, shocked once again by the young fox.
"Overruled. It showed that this would be an excellent juror for the defense. That is if he can keep the bias down." the judge replied while switching his gaze from the dog, and the chipmunk.
"Oh YESSSSSSSS. Like, I LOVE Sonic and how AWESOME he is, but like if he's guilty he's guilty and you know who am I really to mess with that although I just KNOW that Sonic is like NOT guilty and I can't wait to be a REEAAALLLLY important person in this trial and to that if I have to keep my personal views out that's all fine with me and everything you know?"
"Seems reasonable enough of an explanation." Tails said. "You can stay on the jury."
"Object—"
"Overruled."
Mr. Wood hung his head down as everybody started murmuring. Probably about him too.
Court was then brought to order. Tails proceeded to the next juror.
"Misterrrrr…Merill? Right. Ok, how much TV do you watch each day?"
"I watch about an hour a day."
"What kind of shows do you watch?"
"Mostly the news, and every once in a while, a sitcom."
"When you listen to the news, do you take what they say very seriously?"
"No. I think that most of the stuff there is junk."
"Did you hear about the defendant's arrest?"
Mr. Merill eyed Tails suspiciously. "Yes."
"From the news presumably?"
"Yes."
"Do you think that based on what you heard, Sonic is innocent?"
"Objection." said Mr. Wood.
"Sustained." The judge replied. "Please restate the question Mr. Prower."
Tails furrowed his brow for a second.
"How did the media portray Sonic to you?"
"Well to me, they acted like he was a hero unfairly accused. I think all people need to be put to justice and stop trying to act all innocent and stuff."
"Objection!" Mr. Wood figured this juror would be good for him; he didn't want Tails to take him off.
"What grounds?"
"That last part was not asked for by the question."
"Sustained. Have that last sentence by Mr. Merill stricken from the record."
The court recorder quickly pressed a few buttons on the stenograph.
"Continue Mr. Prower…"
Tails thought for a moment.
"I'd like to strike Mr. Merill from the jury."
"Mr. Merill," the judge said, "you are dismissed."
"YES!!! I'm free to go home, eat some pie, and watch tons of T.V!"
The judge blinked.
"But not before I arrest you for perjury." the judge replied, finishing Mr. Merill's terrible self-incriminating rhyme on watching "1 hour" of television.
"What? Wh—oh man…"
Seeing as the voir dire was taking too long, the author decided to skip the rest of the voir dire, as nothing really happened then. He even skipped the part where the JUDGE voir dired the jurors.
Amazingly, the energetic chipmunk was still a juror by the end of the whole thing.
"Recess. Back in 15 everyone." the judge said as he banged his gavel and started to laugh quietly.
"Ha! I can't believe you made the readers miss the BEST PART of the voir dire! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Mr Dix. taunted at me merri—hey wait a second!
"You're not supposed to tell them I left—"
"Oh man, Tails had to be hanged upside down as we all started chanting a stupid ritual because we were all possessed by a resurrected zombie guy named Dr. Robotnik! THEN there was the marching band…"
The author then slowly diverted the attention on him to Shadow to prevent the readers from murdering him. Eh heh…
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I haven't seen anything THAT funny in YEARS! Oh man that elephant there, and the way everyone thought my SHADOW PUPPET was Robotnik! Oh I haven't seen people so gullible in my life! Well except for Tails and Sonic. They just got mad that Robotnik was there to try to sacrifice Tails. They still don't seem to realize Eggman is dead…THAT MAKES THEM EVEN STUPIDER!!! HAHAHAHA! Oh man!!!"
The author did a stereotypical anime sweat drop pose. He then thought about what he just did, making Shadow look…happy…
"Readers, you will disregard that last statement. Court reporter, err…author, err…myself, strike that from the record please."
But then I thought about how funny it was to see Shadow like that, and the prospect of getting him to be really serious later on just so that it looks like Shadow is really bipolar was too funny to pass up…
Before the author's incessant in-story talking becomes longer to read than the actual scenes, he decided to be merciful and get back to the trial (and actually make those scenes funny).
"Oh wait…my agent is calling me. Gotta run! Let's give the cliffhangers and I'll go." the author said hastily as he was packing his stuff up.
*ahem*
Is Shadow bipolar? WHY did I skip the good parts of the voir dire? Will I be MURDERED at night for leaving it out? Will I murdered at night because I'M A LOUDMOUTH AUTHOR who talks WAAAYYY too much about himself and overuses capitalization? And most importantly, WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE TRIAL?!?!
Tune in next time for another stunning chapter of "Tails the Lawyer"!
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Ok, today was a not as many details in emotions and stuff day and more of a random humor day. I promise not to have too many of those days, because it's good to have emotions in stories (duh). I'm also going to have to leave the "author" out more often. Perhaps it's because I wrote this all in one day. If you have anything to say about this, please review, even if it is anonymously. Thank you! Hope you guys enjoyed it anyway even though it fits a different type of audience I guess.
Oh, and just warning you guys, I will not normally be able to update so often. Just letting you all know. Bye for now!