Beneath the Cloak

Handy was busy inserting a couple of quarters into a snack machine inside of a police station, waiting to get his hand of a bag of chips. The beaver slid the last silver coin into the slot and pressed F5.

"C'mon, Daddy needs a new pair of Cheetos." said Handy, hopping up and down joyously.

The metal wire began to uncoil and the bag of chips was about to fall down the machine so Handy would be able to retrieve them through the slot at the bottom. Unfortunately, instead of falling, the bag got stuck against the glass pane.

"Ooohhhh, NO!!" shouted Handy, kicking the machine.

"C'MON!!" he said again, kicking it one more time.

"Please work with me baby! I just survived a goddamn epidemic and all I want are some cheddar flavored puffs of corn."

Handy stuck his stubs inside the slot at the bottom of the machine and began to jiggle it around, mumbling and grunting to himself to see if the chips would fall. But then he remembered Nutty and his little incident about how he lost his hand, so he decided against it.

"Hmm…"

Handy bashed his head against the glass and shouted when he hurt himself and fell backwards onto the floor. Handy shook his head and looked back up at the machine, slowly getting more agitated because the bag hadn't even budged. Handy screamed and started bashing his head into the machine over and over again, jamming his stubs into the slot to see if the bag would magically fall down. With no other option, Handy started to violently kick the machine until he shouted out, "OWW!!" and began to hop on one foot.

"Hey Handy, you want any ice cream?" asked Lumpy, walking down the hall.

Handy sighed and stopped hopping on his foot.

"Sure, why not?"

"Here you go!" said Lumpy, handing Handy the ice cream.

When Handy saw the ice cream, he stared flatly at Lumpy and grumbled again.

"Lumpy,"

"Yes?"

"There's no cone under the ice cream."

Lumpy looked at both of his hands and noticed he was holding two scoops of melting ice cream which was dripping onto the floor.

"Oh. Well uh…"

Lumpy put the scoops into his mouth.

"Dude! Why did you put them in your mouth?!"

"So they wouldn't drip on the floor. I'll be back with the cones."

Lumpy ran away briefly and Handy was left waiting inside of the hall for his return. After leaning on the machine for a long time, Lumpy returned licking ice cream from his lips.

"Lumpy,"

"Yep?"

"WHERE ARE THE CONES?!!?"

"What cones?"

"For the ice cream you put in your mouth!"

Lumpy scratched his head. "I had ice cream in my mouth?"

"YES!!"

"OOOHHH! So that's why my mouth is cold!"

Handy sighed exasperatedly and shut his eyes to restrain his anger on the dim-witted moose.

"If I had hands, I'd kick the shit out of you."

"No you wouldn't!"

"How would you know that?"

"Easy. Watch!"

Lumpy punched Handy across the face and his body flew into the snack machine. Handy slowly slid down the glass pane and slipped into unconsciousness.

"OOH! Cheetos!"

Lumpy stuck his hand into the slot at the bottom of the machine and grabbed the bag of cheetos. When Handy was knocked into the vendor, the bag miraculously fell down. Lumpy opened up the bag and walked away, popping Cheetos into his mouth while Handy was left unconscious.

Elsewhere, a group of the survivors were in a large room inside of the police station talking about the incident with the officers in charge and taking statements and such. Just about all of the survivors on the bridge were there except for a few. In the middle of all this confusion, Flippy was busy checking all of the survivors to see who was who and if they were the people from his dream: Lumpy, Meth and his band, Flaky and her father, Handy. Hell, even his ex-girlfriend Omane was there, trying to flirt with one of the officers. If there was anything he hated about Omane, it was the fact she always sold her pussy to the first piece of life she saw. Flippy was slowly starting to wonder if she was a prostitute…and why he even bothered having a relationship with her.

Out of the group were pirates, and Cuddles, Rhyme, Mime, Nappy and Nutty, who was ravenously sucking on a lollipop.

"Wait a minute! You guys weren't on the bridge!" shouted Flippy.

Cuddles cocked an eyebrow. "What bridge?"

"You didn't hear about the bridge collapsing this afternoon?"

"No…we were too busy trying to find the cops." said Rhyme.

"Why?"

Russell groaned loudly and started muttering to himself.

"…stinkin' sacks of whale farts 'n' narwhal shit!!"

"What's your problem?" asked Flippy.

"A band o' slimy scum pirates hijacked me ship an' took it for a joy sail!"

"Yeah! Bunch a bloody pirates stole our captain's ship! When I find those fuckin' bubble blowers I swear I'm gonna—"

Flippy clamped Bladz's mouth shut with both of his hands and the alligator began to mutter several swear words under his breath, effortlessly trying to open his mouth.

"I'm gonna have to stop you right there, because if I smell your gator breath again, I will not hesitate to throw up in your face. Second of all, who would steal a pirate ship in the middle of the day?!"

"Obviously someone as stupid as Cuddles, since he thought we were going on a cruise today." said Nappy.

"How was I supposed to know the tickets I bought were bogus?!"

"It said in big ass bold letter that we were getting sent to a pirate ship dumbass!"

"Y'know, you guys should be happy! If we had gone on that ship, we'd all be dead right about now!"

"…What?"

"Apparently, some sea monster devoured the whole ship and killed everyone on board. Lucky us huh?"

"…That's why you're still here…" muttered Flippy.

"I HATE YOU! YOU PROMISED ME CANDY!!" whined Nutty, pointing his lollipop at the yellow bunny in frustration.

Nutty grunted and smacked Cuddles on the forehead with the lollipop, which stuck to his fur. After it got stuck, Nutty ripped it off of his head and a large patch of fur came right off, causing Cuddles to scream horribly…just like in Flippy's dream. Suddenly, one of the chief officers strolled into the room. He was wearing gray pants and the color of his fur was yellow, despite having a blue nose. He was a badger…and his name was Wyger.

"Well, it looks like you guys have been through hell today."

As Wyger finished, a bunch of HTF animals began to bicker and complain about what happened that day, which forced Wyger to yell at the top of his lungs to settle them down.

"SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTHS!!"

"I thought you wanted to take our statements?" asked Flippy.

"You're the first one I need to speak to."

"Mind telling us why you paraded the bridge with two grenades in your hands?" asked Wyger's partner, a yellow skunk.

"Cause he was trying to kill everybody. That's why Flippy had me empty all the gas from the tanker—"

"Lumpy shut up!" growled Flippy, elbowing the moose in the stomach.

"Uh, I mean…we have no idea…"

"Perhaps we should speak to the two of you in a more private area."

"Sure! It is getting a little crowded in here."

Wyger and his partner escorted Lumpy and Flippy into a small, dark room and shut the door, locking it while the others stayed outside and talked amongst themselves. Flippy and Lumpy sat in two chairs in front of a table, looking directly at the cops.

"Now you're gonna tell us everything we wanna know."

"YOU'RE GONNA TELL US EVERYTHING WE WANNA KNOW YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!" shouted his partner, slamming his fist on the table.

Flippy sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes. "Good cop, bad cop routine eh?"

"No, it's the bad cop, waterboarding cop. While my partner here will simply yell at you, I won't hesitate to dry drown your asses. So let's make this simple: You guys tell us why you tried to blow up the bridge and we'll let you go." proposed Wyger.

"What if I don't feel like talking?" said Flippy.

"I just told you I'm gonna waterboard your ass!"

"OOH, like a surfboard? I want one!" said Lumpy.

"Okay, you first."

Wyger's partner placed a bag over Lumpy's head and tipped his chair backwards on the floor, tying his legs and arms to the chair.

"Cool! You're gonna surprise me with the board right?"

"Look you guys don't need to waterboard—"

"Light him up Wyger." said his partner.

Wyger took out a very large water bottle and began to pour it over the bag, causing Lumpy to cough and gag repeatedly, jerking to get out of the chair restraints.

"Another ten seconds and he's gonna receive lung damage. Now what were you guys doing on that bridge?!" demanded Wyger.

"Okay, fine! I'll tell you everything, just let the moose back up!" said Flippy.

Wyger stopped squeezing the water bottle over the bag and let Lumpy back up, tilting up the chair so he was sitting back up on the table. The badger took off the bag and Lumpy started coughing again, looking around with shifty eyes.

"Did I just wet myself?" he asked.

Flippy calmed himself down before he spoke to the two officers.

"Have either of you guys had this…weird feeling or foreshadow of something in the future?"

"Is this gonna end with some crazy assed vision you thought you saw?" asked Wyger's partner.

"Just listen to me for once. Isn't that why you guys nearly ruptured Lumpy's lungs?"

Flippy sighed and began to talk to the cops. "I saw this happen. There was a dream I had a couple of days ago where all this stuff happened. The road, the bridge collapsing, the people that died—everything. I can't explain it."

"It just…happened out of nowhere?"

"Exactly."

"So what made you take some grenades and try to blow yourself up on the bridge when gasoline was everywhere?"

Flippy sighed. "That wasn't part of my plan and I didn't release the gas. Lumpy did."

"So we should be waterboarding the moose?"

"Don't blame him; he's retarded."

"HEY!!" shouted Lumpy.

"The only reason why I took out the grenades was to scare everyone off the bridge before it collapsed. If I hadn't done that, a lot more people would've died today."

"Or maybe you planned on setting off the grenades too late…"

"Oh my G—do I really have to spell this whole thing out for you?! I dreamt of a horrible premonition and it came true and the only way to prevent hundreds of deaths was to scare everyone off the bridge before it collapsed and because of me, a lot of people aren't dead!"

"That all may be true, but you made it seem like you were planning a terrorist attack via suicide bombing and when you realized that that wasn't going to work, you got yourself off the bridge and secretly destroyed the support beams with well placed bombs. And with all the gas on the road, all you needed was one spark before the whole thing went down."

Flippy grumbled to himself.

Back outside, a bunch of the animals were talking to each other about the virtual dream that Flippy had.

"Anyone else think this is a coincidence?" asked T.J.

"What is?" asked Toothy.

"Flippy has a dream that the world's gonna end two days ago which started out with a bridge collapsing. Suddenly, a bridge collapses in the same fashion as he predicted."

"Yeah, but in his dream, we all died and the world ended. Last time I checked, I'm still breathing."

"We're still alive because Flippy got us all off that bridge in time."

"What about me? Remember, I was the one who saved all your asses!" said Splendid.

"Does anyone else feel like we're going through a repeat here?" asked Spiky.

"What repeat?"

"Don't you guys remember of that person who had a vision that a theater would collapse and everyone inside would die?"

"Yes…"

"Well, he freaked out and got himself and a couple of his friends kicked out of the place. Immediately afterwards, the theater collapsed."

"Oh, that's very bad then." said Meth.

"Why?"

"Because after the theater collapsed, everyone who survived began to die in the most bizarre accidents you can think of."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Some dude got his head smashed in by falling blue ice."

Spiky and his friend K-Zar fell to the floor and began to hoot with laughter, pounding their fists on the floor and having trouble breathing and talking. Like always, whenever the two heard of anything toilet related, they couldn't help but snicker or laugh their asses off.

"What the fuck's so funny?" asked Toothy.

"Don't ye silly landlubbers know what blue ice be?!" asked Russell.

"No."

"Blue ice is the mixture of animal waste and liquid disinfectant found in aircrafts that freezes at high altitude." said Sniffles.

Toothy stared at Sniffles blankly. "What?"

Sniffles sighed and dumbed it down for the purple beaver.

"It's frozen shit."

As soon as the anteater mentioned the word "shit" a couple of the other animals chuckled and snickered under their breaths, amazed that it was possible to die at the hands of frozen defecation.

"Point being, Flippy had a premonition just like that guy in the theater did."

"How do we know this all ain't a mere coincidence?" asked a bystander.

"When you have a dream about a bridge collapsing two days in the future, and then two days in the future, it does collapse…that's Death. When you're on a train that crashes on the same bridge that was collapsing at the same time…that's Death. When you steal a pirate ship in hopes of going on a joy sail to go look for treasure in the sea and then the ship gets devoured by a sea monster…that's Death. When you are on a bridge that a homicidal bear with Shellshock said was going to collapse and when you get off the bridge, it does collapse…and then a hubcap appears out of nowhere and slams into the back of your skull and kills you…that's Death. That's fuckin' Death dude."

"Cuddles I'd really appreciate it if you didn't talk about my deceased girlfriend…" said Fally.

"Just sayin'…"

"Meth does this mean we're all gonna die in some haphazard and gruesome accidents?" asked Stinky.

The bear shrugged. "Weird stuff happens in this town; I wouldn't rule it out."

"Awesome. We're all gonna die because of some skeleton wearing a giant black cloak."

"Aw, c'mon! It won't be that bad!" said Salty.

"So you're fine if you get your skull crushed with a giant block of shit?" asked K-Zar.

As the survivors began to talk some more, Flippy and Lumpy were thrown out of Wyger's interrogation room shortly before the two officers walked outside themselves.

"You're all free to go…for now. But just remember to call us if you ever see anything suspicious." said Wyger.

"Does that include frozen shit?" asked Spiky.

"…Sir I don't know how to answer that…"

After the visit to the police station, some of the survivors went to a local club to cool off and take their minds off the situation. By take their minds of the situation, they started getting high. Toothy planted his face to the table in front of him and sniffed a line of white powder, tilting his head back up and shutting his eyes.

"…Toothy, that line was almost two feet long." said Flippy.

Toothy responded by coughing violently and sniffling repeatedly, jolting his head around.

"What is the point in doing cocaine again?"

"It's not cocaine—not cocaine! See—look at it, look at it. Look at the powder—it's meth-meth, not crack!"

Toothy was talking rapidly and hopping up and down in his seat, unable to control himself.

"You gotta pace yourself Toothy or you're gonna blow out your skull from the inside."

"This coming from a bunny with five needles in his arm." Flippy pointed out.

Cuddles looked at his arms and noticed five long needles were sticking out of his arm.

"Oh shit…" he mumbled, passing out from the drug and falling on the floor.

"See this is why I stopped doing meth." said Rhyme.

"Your cousin didn't."

Rhyme looked to his left and saw his cousin inaudibly sniffing the table.

"Oh, he's just miming it."

"Then why is his nose white?"

Rhyme cocked and eyebrow and lifted his cousin's head to see that his nose was white and had a bunch of "powder" on it.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Mime nervously looked left and right before he slowly began to duck under the table like he was walking down a set of stairs. When Rhyme looked under the table, Mime was nowhere to be seen.

"How does he do that?" asked Meth.

"I don't know."

"Fally you've smoked about 12 joints now and you're still not high. What's up with you?" asked Flippy.

Fally coughed and two giant puffs of smoke came out of his mouth before he sniffled loudly.

"I always got high with Sherry. Now that she's dead…I can't really do that anymore…"

"Spiky, why are you here? Don't you have a daughter at home?" asked Flippy.

"Flaky's 18, she can take care of herself. Plus, you gotta remember you're talking to a porcupine who still plays the 'Pull-My-Finger' joke and shoots arrows at people for no reason on Saturdays."

"And you…I don't even know you but your sittin' there with your feet on the table."

A large, red reptilian creature wearing blue shorts with a smirk on his face had his feet resting on the table, wiggling his toes like it was nothing. He went by the name of Rexar, and he was what people would call an anthrorex, or a walking T-Rex creature.

"What? Don't tell me you guys got a problem with a dinosaur's feet on the table?"

Rexar laughed to himself and slowly shoved his left foot in Flippy's face.

"Wanna sniff 'em?"

Flippy, as well as some of the other people sitting around the table were plugging their noses and gagging, unable to endure the stinky cheesy odor of his orange soles.

"Can I sniff 'em? I wanna see if my feet smell just as bad as yours." said Spiky.

Rexar laughed evilly and said, "Sure, why not?"

Spiky leaned over and deeply inhaled Rexar's smelly feet, retching loudly and veering his head back afterwards.

"Jesus Christ, did you step in melted Swiss cheese this morning?!"

"Yes."

"Okay, this is too disgusting. I'm going to bed."

"Alright, see you tomorrow Flipster!"

Later that night, Flippy had a peculiar dream. It started out with a large, blank white screen, but then Flippy appeared out of nowhere and began to jump around slowly while stuffing the white compound into his nose. He was naked and running around with white fur on his shoulders, happy as ever as the song Moving in Stereo played in his ears. He dunked his head in the background and took a giant whiff before lifting his head back up and laughing wildly.

"OH SHIT!!" shouted Flippy, waking up in the middle of the night.

The white powder, the rock music in the background, it all began to make sense now:

Meth was next on Death's list.