So after an interesting talk with Lord Kelvin, I had a nice long hiatus for no reason at all except to drive you folks crazy. Thankfully though, I am for real about actually doing the court scene! *gasp* I do have my doubts though as you see as the author goes through great turmoil in the middle of the chapter. Today, I'm making these author's notes short. Let's get to the good stuff!
Chapter 7
After 3 days of Tails's "legal guardianship" (I'm never going to get used to saying that.), the trial was back underway. Mr. Wood had also recovered and with his newfound help, was confident that now, he would finally show up that two tailed fox. Arthur hid in the rafters, now reconstructed in LEED Silver Certified standards for environmental friendliness, and had a headset on. Mr. Wood glanced up for a split second to acknowledge Arthur. He then secretly put the earpiece into his ear and put on some earmuffs to hide them. They were pink and fluffy. And as Arthur facepalmed himself at Mr. Wood's horrible choice of attire, the author noticed Shadow was not in the rafters yet…
Shadow took a look at the book. Besides a few splash stains, the book was intact.
"Foolish fish…trying to gobble up the ultimate lifeform."
Shadow had fallen into the lake after crashing through the tree.
But now, a greater task awaited Shadow. He had to find Tails before the trial started. Otherwise, he would have to hug him when he was…in front of other people.
Luckily, the speedy blue hedgehog and his twin-tailed pal rushed by as Shadow was drying himself off. There the two were, determinedly and swiftly hurrying over to the trial. Of course not before visiting a diner with chili dogs in it.
"I must hug Tails…when no one is looking. But how?" Shadow puzzled over his problem for a second. And then it hit him…
"Sonic!"
"Huh?" Sonic looked at where Tails was pointing. A cry could be heard.
"Wuh-oh little bro, looks like someone needs help."
"But the trial resumes in a few minutes!"
"Then it looks like something has to give…"
Tails thought for a moment…
"Even though I know you could probably take care of whatever is going on right now behind that tree and then we could get chili dogs and get to the courthouse in time, I think I want to try to handle the whole situation by myself in my expensive 3 piece suit while you get the chili dogs and get into the courtroom."
"Can do!"
And Sonic sped off for absolutely no reason except that he wanted chili dogs…BADLY.
Tails then walked over behind the tree. He was on the opposite side of where the voice came from. Tails slowly inched around until he could almost see the other side. Bracing himself for whatever came at him, he leaped out and started to bash the living daylights out of anything that looked fierce and menacing.
But there was nothing.
Tails was shocked for a moment, but he got aggressive again and perked up his senses.
It was an obvious trap…
"Show yourself! What are you going to do? Stay there until you find the perfect opportunity to jump on my back?"
Nothing happened.
After a while, Tails figured he was wasting his time. He turned around halfway only to feel a force fly into his back.
"Aaahh!!! The boogie-man!"
And then it was gone.
And the author got tired of trying to sound descriptive. (yeah, I'm lazy. Sue me!)
Tails got up and brushed himself off, he looked around again and tried to find his opponent. Finding none, he ran off cautiously, checking his back every now and then.
"Well, I got that over with." Shadow murmured to himself as he read the next instruction.
"Friends always…cheer each other up when one is down. Reasonable."
But Shadow knew secretly, that it'd be hard to find a moment where the little fox would be *GASP* sad…
Meanwhile…
The crowd was getting anxious. They anxiously waited for the arrival of Tails. And as they anxiously waited around, Amy anxiously bit her fingers again. And everyone was anxious. Even the author was anxious. He was afraid that he would not cause enough anxiousness in everyone. Especially if he kept overusing the word "anxious" and other forms of it.
Shadow then surreptiou—err I mean, anxiously walked in, hoping that no one saw him hug Tails from behind. He anxiously snuck up back into the rafters unnoticed. And the author made "anxious" the word of the chapter because he was beginning to like it. Even though he only anxiously liked the word, hoping that other anxious readers would read his story while anxiously awaiting the trial part to begin.
As the author decided to stop using the word anxious, Tails WALKED IN!
And the crowd went wild!!!
[insert random cheering sound FX here]
Tails humbly walked across through the aisle and sat down at the defense table. Court was brought to order. The judge was about to resume the trial, when suddenly, he detected strange vibes coming from the author…
Time paused.
"Ok Thomas, what's the problem?"
"Oh man Mr. Dix, I just had this great idea about how the trial should end, but I'm not sure if I want to do it now or later, because if I did it now, then it would be like, totally unexpected…but I want to write a really awesome other part first before that, otherwise I'll feel like a douche."
"Then go with the second option! You can write the ending and the middle of the trial! See?"
"But I might forget the epic ending!"
"Then write it down!"
"I'm too lazy…" the author sighed despondently as he banged his head on the wall.
"…You're afraid of the story ending too early aren't you?"
"I looked up. Well…yeah, I guess if the trial ends it would probably be a bit disappointing…"
Mr. Dix smiled at me, then whispered something into my head (wait, but he's dead…oh whatever, he's that AWESOME)
I perked up. "Mr. Dix…thanks."
And we both smiled at each other.
I then got back to the story with a renewed air of confidence. This could not fail at all.
"Prosecution, I believe, is now presenting the opening statement."
Mr. Wood stood up, but there was something a little different about him. He didn't take a painful minute to stand up, nor was he as shaky as he had been before. He didn't seem to mind the piercing glares, the tense atmosphere, or the incessant purring of Mr. Dix's microwave.
Everyone could tell that something wasn't right.
"Sonic, what's happened to Mr. Wood?"
"I dunno bro, but I got a bad feeling about this…"
Mr. Wood shuffled towards the jury.
"Ladies and gentleman of the jury. We all love a good hero. We oftentimes look up to them as a source of encouragement even in our everyday lives. When it seems there is no strength left in us, no courage in our hearts, no valor in our men and kindness in our children, we desperately try to find that one special person. The one who is different. And that is what our heroes are there for. We strive to be like them, seeing their altruism and moral integrity impels us to try to be just as righteous as them."
At this point, everyone was gaping. They couldn't tell if Mr. Wood had gone insane and was helping Sonic or if he had turned into a maniacal genius in the hospital. Arthur looked down for a quick second, watching their shock and slight awe. He smiled to himself.
The judge stared intently as well. But more because of the fuzzy pink earmuffs than "Mr. Wood's" little speech.
"And what happens when heroes fall?"
The spectators snapped out of their trance and went back to their normal state of suspicion of Mr. Wood.
"When a hero dies, we generally honor them with the highest respect. But what if the hero does not die physically? What if this hero...in our case Sonic, dies in his heart? What if our hero stumbles and fails to uplift the values that we hold dear in our hearts? If he turns away and rather than being the one beacon of light, turns into a cynical, malicious—"
"Objection." Tails spoke up and glared at Mr. Wood just a little.
"Sustained."
"Hmm…won't let me get away with a few indirect personal attacks…good, good. It's been a while since I've had a challenge…" Arthur contemplated to himself.
"What if rather being that one beacon of light, becomes what we call…a lawbreaker?"
The crowd murmured. The judge brought the court to order.
"My task is simple, yet agonizing. Show this fallen hero for what he has done. It is my job, and so I shall, simply put, show that Sonic the Hedgehog has caused great collateral damage without regard for the law."
And Mr. Wood shuffled back to his seat.
Every single person in that room murmured some more. The judge did not bring the court to order this time, as his microwave had finally dinged again, signaling that his pie was ready. Everyone gazed at Mr. Wood. Then at Sonic. Then back to Mr. Wood. Then to the judge. And back to Mr. Wood. They just couldn't believe the transformation.
Two people were unfazed however. Guess who?
*Jeopardy theme plays…*
Well it's pretty obvious who they were, so we're just not going to talk anymore about it. The two looked at each other and then scoffed.
Piece of cake.
Tails nonchalantly stood up and with a stern demeanor, walked over to the jurors, cleared his throat, and began his opening statement.
"Everything the prosecution has told you about heroes is true. At least, what he said about heroes in general is. Yet the prosecution has a greater job than he has pointed out to you. The prosecution can't simply show you that the defendant is guilty. They have to prove that the defendant is guilty."
Arthur looked down at the fox and scowled. "Undermining my MANIPULATION of the jury's emotion? I hate those kind of PUNK moves…"
"Today the defense will show you that the prosecution has little evidence, little argument for motive—"
"Objection!"
The judge blinked. The crowd blinked. I blinked. Even Arthur couldn't believe how stupid his own statement that he made Mr. Wood say sounded. So he blinked too.
"Grounds?" the judge replied.
"…Didn't we already do the opening statement?"
The judge doubled back and did a spit take. It headed straight for Tails, who proceeded to calmly lift up an umbrella and use it to redirect the current onslaught of enzyme-filled liquid. It hit Mr. Wood instead.
"I…hate…that…kid and his SPEEEEDDD!!!"
Mr. Wood screamed in his head as he sat down and waited for a response. It was after that moment that time froze and the judge looked at me because oohhhh boyy I'm in trouble.
"You made me go back to the opening statement?"
"Erm…yeah?"
"…Fix it. Now."
"I'll let you do that since you're the judge. Oh wait, I still have to do it because I control what you say…umm…ok I got it. Let's get back to the trial." The author soon filled himself up with some new energy and proceeded to make up for lost time.
"You're right Mr. Wood. Let's just get back to your witnesses." The judge said calmly (though he was also screaming in his head) as he unfroze time and sat down in his chair.
"Not only did he dodge the spit take from the judge as well as me, but he splashed it all over ME! Who is this kid? Or maybe…oh whatever. Maybe things will change after the trial…"
Mr. Wood then cleared his throat and asked to call Mr. LeBlanc onto the stand…somehow…
"Monsieur LeBlanc, thank you for coming today as a witness against Sonic."
"Oui."
"Yes, yes…" Mr. Wood waited for his cousin to think of how to respond.
A less painful one minute later…(do I have to say it again? ONLY MR. WOOD CAN MAKE A MINUTE PAINFUL)
"Monsieur LeBlanc, where were you during your police shift at 9:16 AM?"
"Je suis allé au bâtiment à la septième étage parce que j'ai demandé à propose de le délit."
Mr. Wood's eyes bugged out, and then he slowly put his hand over his face because he forgot to check if his witness spoke in English.
"Can you say that in English?"
"Non! Je pense anglais, mais je ne parle pas anglais." The police officer gave a hard look at Mr. Wood's incompetence.
*over headset* "…What?! WHY do I get stuck with the most retarded cousin of my family?! Why in the world did you get a witness who can't even speak English?! Aren't you capable of doing anything besides sitting around and doing nothing?!"
As Arthur started shouting through the headset with all the whispered anger he could muster, Tails blinked. And Tails took a good look at Mr. Wood. It was obvious to him that he was overcome with fear over something.
"Sonic?" Tails asked with an inquisitive look on his face.
"Yeah Tails?"
"Why do you think Mr. Wood picked a French witness?" Tails asked earnestly.
"I dunno bro. It could just be his incompetence, or maybe it has been preplanned by some guy up in the sky we can't see, but that he controls all of our lives. But I don't know. The important thing is, I think due to all the technicalities in this case, they might just forget about it…"
"Guy in the sky? Guy at a computer man!" the author exclaimed angrily as he stomped his foot. "Then again, technically I am made from God and stuff so…" And as I got into a religious conversation with myself, Tails thought about Sonic's words…
"That's true." Tails noted to himself. The court might just drop the case if Tails played his cards right. He then tipped his chair back a little and engrained himself in deep thought.
Suddenly, Mr. Wood then calmed down. Albeit only a little, but he then stood up with a slight quiver and addressed the judge.
"Your honor, due to the technicalities of this trial and all the mishaps that have happened, I think this case should be declared a mistrial." Mr. Wood closed his eyes and hoped the magic words would pop up.
The judge looked away from his microwave which was making more Shepherd's Pie. "Well, it seems reasonable enough I suppose. I think you're right."
"There's the first word." Mr. Wood thought as he tightened his grip on his memo pad on the table.
"Well since we're all pretty worn out and I've got to get back to heave—I mean, the next case..."
"Number two…one more…" Mr. Wood waited for it…
"this case is now declared a mis—"
"OBJECTION!" Tails screamed out before the judge could finish the last word Mr. Wood was looking for.
"Dang it! The judge didn't say the last word!"
"Prosecution is goading the defense into a mistrial."
Indeed Mr. Wood was right. Tails had said the last word instead.
"I think this case should simply be dismissed due to the unsubstantial evidence…"
And as Tails went on a nice little rant, Shadow was intently paying attention to his book and the trial simulataenously.
"A boring speech part? Maybe now I'll read the next page in this book while Tails is at it." Shadow was almost finished reading his book about friendship.
"Good friends always say important things they hear about their friend." Shadow whispered to himself. "Great, how am I going to do that? It's not like I'm one for gossip…so what can I tell?"
Shadow looked around for any trace of hope for fulfilling all the requirements in the book. How would he get information about Tails that Tails would care about?
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw another person with him in the rafters.
"Hmm, why would this guy be in the rafters too? Maybe he is a spy? Oh but that's probably not it…"
Despite this, Shadow then used his Chaos Control to mind read the mysterious man.
"This fox is putting up such an intriguing argument for a dismissal. Too bad it won't matter when I kill him!!! Even if I lose this case, I still have a backup plan!!!"
Shadow thought to himself. Then he saw the headset. He saw the pink earmuffs on Mr. Wood. He saw the twisted smile on Arthur's face.
Shadow hated people who had these silly smirks. And from what he could tell, this guy needed a lesson. So Shadow walked carefully across the beams of the rafters and gave Arthur a friendly tap on the shoulder.
*KAPOW!!!*
"WAHHH!!!!"
And Arthur fell smack dab on top of the table Mr. Wood was sitting at, causing Mr. Wood to faint in pure fright.
Uproar and pandemonium ensued. Meanwhile, the judge, the author, Sonic, Tails, Shadow, and Arthur were the only ones who were able to think clearly.
"Look out Tails! He wants to kill you! And probably everyone else too just to get revenge! I know because I used to be like that!" Shadow hollered down to the chaotic crowd.
Tails and Sonic then quickly zipped into a defensive formation and tried to figure out what was going on. Arthur merely smiled casually. The judge, knowing that the author wouldn't kill or injure him because he had already gone through a painful death, turned back to his microwave.
The author then laughed maniacally as he plotted the ending of the story after a pretty epic court scene. :)
"Hey! I'm supposed to laugh maniacally!"
Sonic, Tails, and Shadow blinked.
The author then whispered in Arthur's ear.
"I'm not to be known to them yet. Tell them and you will die NOW. In this chapter. And I will leave it at that and the readers will get so angry and destroy you for causing it."
Arthur tensed up. This made Sonic and Tails tense up. The judge's microwave blew a fuse so he tensed up.
Only Shadow had found a way to relax himself. He finished off a good book. As he turned the last pages, Shadow murmured to himself.
"Good friends are willing to give up their lives for one another, whether figuratively or literally and preferably when a person pulls out a super powered laser cannon and tries to shoot your friend."
And Shadow tensed up at that.
"Oh la la!" Monsieur LeBlanc whimpered softly to himself. No, Monsieur LeBlanc does not fit into the category of characters who are thinking straight.
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Why is everyone running around doing nothing? Why did I make everyone who was not going crazy tense up? Even at the expense of Mr. Dix's unfinished pie?! Was this court case what you thought it would be?!?Was my French half decent?!?! Is "goading into a mistrial even an objection"!?!?!?!! Well I'll answer that last one for you! YES! The other ones you will have to discover in the next (and possibly last) chapter of Tails the (epic) Lawyer!
And thanks for waiting sooooo long! College applications and financial aid…grr. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed!
Special thanks to Zephyr the Wolf who suggested the lake/fish/Shadow thing!