Loyal

Flippy, Meth and his band were outside of Creolz's house taking a statement from Wyger and his partner.

"So you were practicing for your upcoming performance when a glass of lemonade just fell on your amp and…" started Wyger's partner, Jax.

"The amp was electrified and I was almost electrocuted until Flippy saved me. Then the amp exploded and Flippy saved Eddie and Kalvinz was thrown into the garage door and it began to rise into the air and if it hadn't been for Flippy…"

"Then what?"

"You remember that scene from Scream where that chick got her head crushed when she tried to escape out the garage door?"

"Yeah."

"That basically would've been Kalvinz."

"And that's when the van appeared out of nowhere and hit your mailbox and decapitated Creolz?" asked Wyger.

"In a nutshell." Flippy confirmed.

"Sounds like a freak accident to me Wyger." said Jax.

"Lucky for you, I can't find any evidence suggesting you decapitated Creolz so we'll just have to rule this as an accident for now. No one needs any health or assistance do they?"

"I'M STILL STUCK HERE!!!" shouted Kalvinz, who was still shaking as he was stuck inside the garage door.

"Yeah, you guys should get Kalvinz out there. We'll be fine." said Meth.

Wyger and Jax walked away from Meth and Flippy and tended over to the Kalvinz, who was still desperately trying to escape from the garage door.

"…Will we?"

Flippy shook his head. "I don't know."

"I mean, if we're really going through this whole cheating Death bullshit again, then my band and I are safe until all the other survivors die right?"

"How the hell should I know? I didn't even know you were in danger until I had that dream."

"You don't need to have a dream just to figure out who's next. Try and remember who the next person to die was."

"That's not the point; Death is working out of order Meth! In my dream, you and your band died first."

"Exactly! And you just saved my band and I…excluding Creolz."

"But Sherry died first. Remember Fally's girlfriend? The one who got impaled in the back of the head with a hubcap?"

"If she died first, then that means—"

"Death is going in a random order and for all I know, I could be next. Besides, there were well over 40 people who survived that accident because of me and Splendid and Lumpy. You really think I can track them all down before they die?"

"Maybe-maybe we can find someone who worked on the bridge and if he or she will let us examine the cameras then at least we'll know who was on the bridge."

"I guess that'll work. But even if we know all of the people on the bridge, how are we—"

"We'll cross that line when we come to it. Right now, we just need to find all the survivors."

"Hey you guys think they'll let me eat fruit salad out of Creolz's head?"

Eddie walked up to Flippy and Meth carrying Creolz's severed head upside-down like it was a bowl.

"…Dude are you a cannibal?" asked Meth.

"No, but this looks so badass! I just wanna hang it on my fence so everytime people walk by they see a real live decapitated head!! You know how extreme that'll be?!"

"Put the fuckin' head down."

"Okay." whined Eddie.

Eddie looked into the remains of Creolz's severed head and slowly began to reach inside for the organs and blood.

"DO NOT TAKE OUT THE BRAINS!!!"

"Right."

Several hours later, on the other side of town, were a deer couple currently residing inside a house not far from the Burger Joint that was destroyed by Flippy long ago. One of the deer was named Eiden and his wife's name was Marilyn. Eiden was a brown deer with yellow antlers and his wife was a blue deer who also had yellow antlers. Marilyn's son, Bucky, had black fur and yellow antlers as well. Ever since Marilyn got divorced from his previous father, Bucky had a major mood change. He wasn't very happy anymore and turned emo and sadistic, spending more time burning things and breaking stuff as opposed to paying attention in school and listening to his parents. Right now, Bucky was out of the house and Marilyn and Eiden were watching the news story about the bizarre death of Creolz.

"Oh wow. Now that's pretty…that's really weird ain't it honey?" said Eiden.

"It's not everyday where you find some bear who gets decapitated by a flailing mailbox."

"I know, but don't you think it's weird how the mailbox severs his head clean off like that? Besides who's stupid enough to post a mailbox with spikes on the edge of it?!"

"A rock band."

Eiden shrugged. "True."

During the news story, Bucky made his entrance to his house covered in filth and messing up the carpet with each step he took. Whatever he was doing, it was very muddy and soiled his feet.

"Hi Mom, hi Eid."

"Son you already know my name's Eiden and why were you out so late anyway?"

"I was busy drowning ants in motor oil and setting them on fire…and I'm not your son Eid."

"Bucky don't start—"

"Hey I'm just saying I'm not biologically Eid's son and it wasn't his sperm that brought me to life after he fucked you for the last two years."

"Bucky I know you're just saying all of this because of the incident that occurred a few days ago and you're upset."

"I'm not upset about what happened on the bridge; if it hadn't been for that guy in the beret, I'd be dead along with my mom. I'm upset because my so-called 'Dad' didn't die on the bridge and ran off it like a pussy when he was supposed to be inspecting the structure with his co-workers so it wouldn't collapse."

Eiden growled at Bucky at rose off the couch, approaching his step-son.

"And this would be the part where you get all pissy and start yelling at me like my real father would where you'll strike me and get arrested for child abuse…or molestation if I really wanna go that far."

"BUCKY!!" shouted Marilyn, outraged by her son's behavior.

"I know, I know, I'm grounded. I've been grounded for four months now and you guys already know I'll find a way to sneak out again." said Bucky, retreating to his room and locking the door.

"…Your son is starting to aggravate me Marilyn."

"It's not like you're really giving him a chance."

"I've been bonding with him, I've been talking with him, I've taken him to games, to movies, to arcades and amusement parks. I give him just about anything he wants! What else am I supposed to give him!?"

"His father back."

"That's not gonna happen. It's not my fault you fell in love with me and it's not my fault you divorced your previous husband."

"Well he obviously thinks it is."

"It's not even the fact that he acts like an asshole to me; I just hate how he calls me Eid all the time!"

"…Let me get this straight: You can't tolerate my son because he gave you a crappy nickname?"

"YES!!!"

Marilyn raised an eyebrow. "Why did I marry you again?"

The next day, Eiden was outside, working in the middle of the street alongside his handyman, Handy. After the destruction of Handy's tow truck, Eiden was forced to go to work earlier than expected so he could fix it for him. Eiden was currently underneath the truck fixing the oil line while Handy was busy flirting with his girlfriend Eloise, who stayed over at his house the previous night.

"Hey Handy, could you hand me the hammer?" asked Eiden.

Handy looked down at the toolbox before looking at his stubs and grumbling at Eiden with an irritated glare on his face.

"What? asked Eiden, emerging from underneath the truck.

"I'M MISSING SOMETHING HERE!!!"

"You got teeth, just bend over and toss the hammer at me."

"Eid I don't even see why I'm your handyman. You don't ever let me do anything!"

"And look at why I don't! You finally start to get the hang of this repair business and you crash and wreck the tow truck!"

"That isn't fair! A mischievous flatulent porcupine shot an arrow at my tire!"

"…Who fires arrows anymore?"

"Apparently Spiky, Eid." said Eloise.

"Why are you calling me that now?!"

"It's your nickname Eid. We all got one. Everyone calls my brother Flipster, Tyler's nickname is T.J., hell even I got one."

"Yeah, you always love getting called Cum-Sucker." chuckled Handy.

Eloise punched Handy in the face and he instantly fell backwards and landed on the ground with a huge bruise on his face. The orange beaver groggily stood up and shook his head, getting all of the dust from his hard hat.

"What the fuck was that for?!"

"I told you to stop calling me that in public! I'm the sister of a war veteran…not a whore."

"But you are a Cum-Sucker!! You give me blowjobs—"

Eloise uppercutted Handy and his body flew high into the air. Eiden and Eloise looked into the air expecting Handy to fall back down to the ground, but for some reason, he just stayed in the air, lost in the clouds.

"Why are you guys dating again?"

"Have you ever looked at his ass when it's sunny out and he just got out the pool?"

"…No…I'm not gay Eli."

Eloise sighed exasperatedly. "Don't call me that!!"

"Why not? You said everyone has a nickname and Eli suits you just fine."

"Yeah but it sounds like a guy's name! How many Eli's do you know of who are feminine?"

"23."

"…Okay, but how many Eli's do you know of who are masculine?"

"Zero. I've yet to meet anyone named Eli who was a guy."

"Seriously?"

"Well one of 'em might've been a tranny, but technically that doesn't count since he was considered a she. Besides, let's get back to my nickname!"

"So your step-son gave you a stupid nickname. Why do you hate it so much?"

"Because he gave it to me specifically for being his mother's husband!"

"Shouldn't you be trying to help your step-son live a better life so he doesn't end up like my brother?"

"Your brother's not so bad."

"Fire a gunshot next to his ear and watch what happens."

"Eli you still go on gruesome rampages like Flippy does. The only difference is that you only go Rambo when someone talks shit about your parents or calls you a Cum-Sucker."

"Like I said, shouldn't you worry about something else besides your step-son's nickname? Like why he spends his time burning ants and smashing frogs with hammers and throwing stones at birds?"

"The boy has issues. Honestly, I think it's because of this incident with his parents getting divorced and all that junk that happened at the bridge."

"So have you actually bothered sitting down and talking to your step-son like mature adults?"

"Yes, but you know that expression: In one ear, out the other."

"That's why the word 'therapy' was invented."

Eiden chuckled. "Like I'd be caught dead within a shrink's office, sitting on that big chair pouring my heart out to some pompous asshole who only tells me what I want to hear just to get a fat paycheck."

"Are you even trying to take my advice into consideration?"

"Nope."

In the midst of the conversation, Handy fell back down from the sky screaming bloody murder until he hit the ground with full force, making a crater the size of his body in the pavement.

"…Ow…" whined Handy.

Eloise walked over to Handy and pulled him out of the ground, brushing the dirt and gravel off his shoulders and hard hat.

"So I…take it you don't want me to call you a Cum-Sucker?"

"Please don't." said Eloise, smiling.

Eiden sifted through his toolbox yet again and found a large screwdriver he needed to screw the bolts back into place of the door. Just as the repairman was going to put the finishing touches into the door, he tossed the screwdriver to Handy, who somehow caught the tool in his mouth.

"I'm gonna head to the convenience store down the street. You guys want anything?" asked Eiden.

"I'm good."

"MMPH MPH MMPHH!!" shouted Handy.

"You sure you don't want a Pepsi?"

"MMPHPHH!!!!"

"Okay, more for me." said Eiden, smiling.

Handy continued to protest in a muffled voice as Eiden walked down the street to buy himself a drink. The handless beaver grumbled loudly and spat out the screwdriver, sighing as he looked at the wrecked truck.

"Handy how are you gonna fix that by yourself without any set of hands?"

"Easy! Watch."

Handy leaned over to the truck to go inside, but first he had to deal with opening the door. He stretched his stubs long and far to reach for the handle, but his stubs weren't long enough to get to them. Handy grumbled again and banged his head against the window, frustrated with himself. Handy got on his back and lifted his legs, trying to open the door with his feet. Unfortunately, his feet weren't strong enough to twist the handle sideways.

"Fuck it."

Handy got on his knees and turned his head sideways, opening his maw and clamping his mouth shut onto the handle. Handy muttered an incoherent phrase once again and started grunting with each jerk he made. First his went left, but the handle didn't move and he bit his tongue in the process. The second time, Handy moved his head up…where he shouted out loud in pain and was shocked when he spat something white and pointy out of his mouth.

"AW, SHIT!! I just chipped my tooth!"

"Why don't you just let me do it?" offered Eloise.

"Sooner or later Cum—Eloise, I'm gonna have to learn how to get inside a vehicle without bursting through the window and getting glass in my eyes. I might as well learn now."

Handy exhaled twice and bit down on the handle again, grunting very hard and turning his head sideways, tearing the door handle off in the process. However, his mouth was able to realign the tumblers and the door slowly swung open.

"YES!! I can finally open a car door!!"

"Now if you could just do that with regular doors, we'll be in business."

Handy cocked an eyebrow and examined the tow truck's tires, which were slowly spinning down the street. The beaver looked inside the automobile and noticed the hand brake was left down and the truck was in motion. Someone (or something) left the hand brake down…ironically when the truck was on a hill.

"Uh-oh, that's not good."

Handy got up and ran after the tow truck with Eloise and tried to hop onto it, but it resumed its acceleration and was getting faster and faster.

"ELI!! GRAB THE CHAIN!!"

Eloise tried to grab the chain hanging off the back of the truck, but as soon as she bent down, something cold brushed against her hand and a dark shadow was cast behind her. Whatever it was, it prevented her from grabbing the chain. Eloise turned around, thinking someone was behind her, but the street was barren and unpopulated. Meanwhile, Handy was sprinting down the street almost tripping over his own two feet trying to catch the truck. The tires were spinning very quickly now and the speed was up to 40 miles per hour, if not more.

SOMEBODY STOP THAT TRUCK!!!" screamed Handy, tripping and skinning his elbow.

A car driving at the intersection down the road screeched to a halt and another one was hit by the truck. Immediately before the truck was going to plow into the store in front of it, Eiden came out of the shop chugging a can of Pepsi.

"LOOK OUT!!!" shouted Eloise.

Eiden's eyes grew wide as the truck was about to run him over. He braced for impact…and was stunned when he felt an excessive amount of water fall over his head. Eiden slowly opened his left eye and noticed the truck just slammed head on into a fire hydrant, narrowly missing his body. The impact bent the fire hydrant and broke the water system inside, shooting water all over the sidewalk and into the air. Eli and Handy made it down the road just in time to check up on the brown cervine.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ, I'm gone for five minutes and you already wrecked the tow truck again?!"

"I'm sorry! Someone left the hand brake down and I couldn't stop the truck."

Eiden opened his mouth to chastise Handy yet again, but blood and bones began to spray the wall and tow truck and the street, making a huge mess. No one even knew what happened before it even happened. A small twinkle emerged in Eloise's eye and before she could say anything, it was too late. In the upper compartment of the convenience store was a humid, steamy room with no air conditioning and bad repairs. One of the workers placed an air conditioning unit right in the center of a closed window and turned the unit on high, standing in front of it to cool himself down. Around this time, the tow truck plowed into the hydrant, spraying water into the air. The water knocked the air conditioning unit out of socket and it began to fall…right on Eiden's head. It didn't stop there either; once Eiden died, the grate inside the unit broke and the fan (which was still spinning madly) began to slice Eiden's head like pieces of deli meat. It wasn't until the fan reached Eiden's thighs that it stopped spinning. Eiden's body fell backwards and the unit crashed to the ground, revealing the maimed fan drenched in blood.

On the outside world, blood was all over Eli and Handy. A shredded heart was here, brain fragments were there and a kidney was hanging off a telephone pole. All in all, the scene was not pretty. Eli and Handy could do nothing but stare at Eiden's lifeless body with their pupils dilated and their mouths hanging open, drowning out the hysterical screams and chatter around them. Eli moved her eyes down and noticed a huge yellow antler sticking out of Handy's mouth. Handy also noticed it too, and opened his mouth wider, letting it clatter to the ground. Handy's face turned green and he started retching loudly until he wound up vomiting profusely all over the sidewalk.