A/N: Now I KNOW I said this would only be three parts but I promsied one of my friends I would have the next bit up and i just couldn't finish all of it and it was really really late, so... you're all just going to have to DEAL, okay? Okay.

Everything was stopped dead. Not a sing molecule of air moved. …for about two seconds.

"DEMON!" Ten shouted, walking right up the bars where her arms were hanging lazily outside of them.

The older Master would have been with him, breaking down the door, but… he was frozen as he stared into his own face…

Behind them, the Brigadier, the Captain, the younger Master, and Three all stood watching this transpire.

"Is that future you?" the younger Master asked telepathically of the younger Doctor.

"He is… and… that must be future you?" Three responded.

The younger Master eyed him critically, "What has he done to my beard?"

"Shaved it off, thankfully," Three snorted mildly in his mind.

The Master returned and ice-cold glare, telepathically of course.

"What have you done? Do you realize that you've caused a serious paradox by bringing us both here in front of our past counterparts? You could be endangering the whole planet! What on the TARDIS has gotten into you?!" the Doctor pulled at his hair as he ranted at her.

Demon's amused face slowly turned to one of fierce, biting coldness, "Oh, and I suppose NOW you'll pay attention to me that I've caused so much trouble!" her glare was only matched by the rising threat in her voice.

"Since I brought you back the Master, I brought him back for you, remember, you haven't had a second for me, neither of you!" her glower pierced the Master too, shaking him out of his stupor.

"I give you fluff and you go and bugger it into reality, totally forgetting about me or any needs I might have! I show up, you say, "Hey Demon, any new fluff for us? No? Pity? Well, bye!" not even bothering to give me an excuse for leaving, you just run upstairs and play 'where's the screwdriver?' all day! AND YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME WATCH!" she shouted, making everyone cower away from her.

At this point, Sam Tyler desperately wanted to be anywhere but in this cell with her.

"And it's not just me, you two buffoons, all FOUR of you really," she amended to include Three and the younger Master, "have managed to tick off by your callousness and ignorance, it's the TARDIS as well!"

The Doctors looked consternated and were about to protest, but she shouted over them, "OH YES! You think you take SUCH good care of her! You hardly talk to her anymore! Won't let her do anything, she's just a tool, a vehicle to move the two of you from shag spot to shag spot and she's SICK of it! And she's been sick of it a LOT longer than I have! She's had to deal with your stupid love games for GENERATIONS, GEN-ER-A-TIONS! Do you have ANY idea how stressful it is dealing with rejected!Doctor and then rejected!Master and then vengence!Master and then angsty!Doctor, guilty!Doctor, psychotic!Master, and now sex!Master and toy!Doctor ALL AT ONCE?! IT'S MADDENING!" she screamed in frustration, and then slammed down on the cell bench.

"And if I blow a whole in the universe from this, so help me, I'll take on the devil himself and defy time to stop me!" she finished tightly, sounding WAY TOO MUCH like the 'Time Lord Victorious' than the two older Time Lords liked, they exchanged nervous glances.

Sam Tyler was elated just to be left alive after that and was slumping between the cell door and the opposite bench.

Everyone else was dead silent, the Brigadier and the Captain were sharing the exact same thought, "Girls. Are. SCARY." And we're so traumatized by the experience, they were pretty sure an immediate trip to the pub was necessary to hold what little courage was left in them after that.

Three and the bearded Master just looked stunned at being addressed at all, and somewhat insulted at being addressed with so little respect and were on the verge of saying so when their MUCH WISER future selves beat them to the punch.

Ten swallowed, "Uh… Demon, I… uh…"

Maintaining a tight control over her desire to get violent, Demon rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion she'd once seen the Master do, but her face was cool enough, "Yes, Doctor?"

"We're both twats and we're sorry," the Master supplied for him.

The Doctor offered him a pained look.

The Master shrugged, "It's the truth."

"Yeah, but… with a little more finesse next time?" the Doctor begged, then turned back to Demon, he knelt in front of the door, getting as close to her as he could, "I'm so sorry Demon, I've been thoughtless."

Demon regarded him with a slight sneer, "It really isn't me you both owe, it's the TARDIS, apologize to her for years of idiotic cat-and-mouse which the both of you know could have been solved so easily! And you two," she stood up, she had calmed down, and was now speaking in her normal stupidity-rant-tone now, "Three and rubbish!beard. Yeah, that's right, I said it," she smirked slightly as the Master glared at her, "you two should just hook up NOW! For Rassilon's sake and save these two all the trouble they went through to get together!"

She sighed, "You bloody Time Lord idiots are so concerned with your own little worlds, believing that you have to hold the moral high-ground or keep up your evil street-cred, but it just comes down to pride, and as the great Jane Austen proved to us, NO amount of pride is worth this much pain. Most of all, you have to realize that it's not your own selfish pain that we're talking about, but the pain of others! You're always forgetting that people care about you!" she wheeled on Ten, "you think it was easy for the TARDIS watching you cry over Rose? Donna? Him?"

Ten blushed and the Master's ego was inflated about ten points.

She sighed again, all her anger drained out of her, "Oh, come here Ten!" he stood and reached for her, awkwardly hugging her through the bars of the jail cell. The older Master rolled his eyes, but Demon shot him a glare, "You're next, Master." He gulped, but acted like he wasn't intimidated.

"Brigadier, bring those keys over, get this door unlocked," the Doctor resumed a role of authority.

"Well, that was certainly interesting…" the bearded Master remarked dryly from his mind to Three's.

"Hmm…" was all Three would respond with, watching the younger-looking Master get practically glomped by the human girl with the Gallifrey-sized temper.

"You know… she has a point…" the younger Master gave a significant look to the Doctor, a significantly non-telepathic one.

Sam Tyler meekly wandered out of the cell, wanting nothing better than to just go back to his normal life, hell, he'd take his normal 1973 life over this! This was just… madness. And there was still the unsolved mystery of why that other man… he stared at him, thunderstruck, trying to work it out.

By now Demon had let go of the older Master, "Okay, since you all failed at introductions, I'll have to do the honors. Rubbish!beard Master, this is your future self… we'll call him blond!Master," the older Master glared at her, but did not protest.

"Ten, because regeneration numbers are a lot easier for the Doctor, I'm sure you recognize rubbish!beard Master, and Three, you've already met your future self, and now know that this is the blond!Master. OH, and Sam, Sam get up here," she dragged him forward, "This, everyone is Sam Tyler… who's actually from 2007."

Everyone frowned, blond!Master glared at him, "Why does he look like me, Demon, what have you done?"

"Though I'm flattered that you think I performed plastic surgery in the span of thirty minutes," she replied sweetly, "I'm afraid that Sam is just one of those cute little accidents of time…" she reached up and ruffled his hair.

Sam shrank away from her, "Don't do that, ever," he straightened his jacket and then confronted his twin, "And… who exactly are you?"

The blond!Master raised an eyebrow in surprise, "You mean you don't know?"

Same shrugged, "Should I?"

"2007… too early I guess," the blond!Master pouted slightly.

The irony was not lost on Demon though as she smiled widely, "So… I believe the Brigadier and Captain are about to fall over, so I'll take them down to the pub and leave you all, to, uh… do whatever. Don't break anything while I'm gone. And if ANY of you are missing when I return," her tone turned nasty again, "there WILL be hell to pay." With that she shoved the Brigadier and Captain in front of her and left the four Time Lords and one poor bloke out of time to themselves.

"And you take orders from her?" Three immediately inquired of Ten.

Ten swallowed and scratched his hair, "Yeah…"

"Why?! I've never been so insulted in all my life. Normally when people speak to me in such a way it's from a superior, never from a hormonal teenage girl," he scoffed.

"My dear Doctor," the rubbish!beard Master interrupted, "I do believe that's the closest you've ever come to insulting your precious human race."

Three sniffed, "Well… I was merely offering my distaste for one individual, not the whole population."

Blond!Master sniggered slightly, then turned to Ten, "You certainly had a stick up your arse back then, didn't you?"

Ten winced as Three puffed himself up like a robin defending its nest, "Now see here you…"

The blond!Master just couldn't take this any longer and cracked up. As he and Three played along in the typical Doctor/Master relationship, much to Three's secret pleasure. He found him so much more attractive than the regeneration he was stuck with, the rubbish!beard Master migrated to the newer Doctor.

"Well, Doctor… tell me I'm not always this vulgar," he smiled slightly.

Ten turned to him, sighing, "Sadly no, by the time you reached his age, you've become so mad, you… well, can't say, spoilers," Ten reminded himself, "but I'd take you over him any day! He's just… bah…" he drew a breath and then let it out, symbolizing his lack of words to describe the roller coaster ride that was his Master.

"Really?" the bearded Master stroked his denotation, "I can't tell you how… pleased, I am to hear that Doctor. To know that despite your current regeneration's apparent distaste for me," he sounded somewhat defeated there, "I am missed later… especially if you have that to look forward to," he snorted.

"Aw, was I really that mean to you?" Ten felt a pang of guilt, "No, compared to your later regenerations… all of them really," Ten admitted with a touch of horror, "you were by far the sanest, and almost the most brilliant. I know he doesn't look it, but… he's really quite genius, you are, I mean, when you become him. And you are here too! You saved my life, how many times? Oh, I can't thank you enough Master," Ten beamed.

Just as everyone was getting all fluffy with the wrong counterpart, Demon walked back in, "What? Blondie with Three and beardy with Ten? Can't leave you alone for two seconds can I? You come storming in here, warning me of the paradox I've caused, and now you're getting all cuddly with your wrong counterpart!" she shook her head.

Most of the Time Lords had the decency to feel ashamed, but there was also a little bit of each of them that wished things didn't have to go back the way they were.

"Now, I'm thinking we have about, oh, two minutes before a giant black hole opens up directly beneath us given–," a shudder was felt through the whole building, earthquake, "…that."

She sighed, "Right everybody, last goodbyes, last kisses, are now, or forever hold your peace! LAST ONE TO THE TARDIS IS A ROTTEN PAIR OF RASSILON'S TROUSERS!" She shouted as she ran down the hall, followed in hot pursuit by Ten, blond!Master, Sam Tyler, who REFUSED to be left behind, Three, and bearded!Master.

Almost crashing into each other, everyone skidded to a halt outside the TARDIS as the Earth rumbled ominously once more. The TARDIS lights flashed, as if saying, "Get inside, you idiots, and let's get out of here!" There was no time to exact her revenge on the buffoons at the moment, she had to save their sorry butts. For the UMPTEENTH time. (OH! OH! Umpteenth is a word, is it, but un-surreptitiously IS NOT!?! I don't BELIEVE this! .)

Ten raced inside and started setting the controls for escape.

Blond!Master paused a moment and turned to his earlier self, "Look… I didn't much care for being you, always everything getting out of hand and running to the Doctor for help… well, there was the Axos…" he smiled cunningly, "but, a word of advice? Stop talking and act. Trust me, it will get you far." He winked and sped inside, shooting him one last glance as he un-surreptitiously groped the Doctor's right cheek.

Ten yelped, "Master! You really think now's the best time?" he glared, exasperated.

The Master grinned like the cat who got the canary, "Just demonstrating, Doctor."

Demon sighed, "They're all rubbish at goodbyes… well, Doctor, wish we could have stayed longer, but time has other plans. I'm kinda proud I stood against it as long as I did."

"My dear," the Doctor said sternly, "any companion who willfully stages a paradox is no friend of mine."

Demon, knowing he was right, had the heart to look ashamed.

"But it is, nonetheless, impressive," he smiled in a rare show of supportiveness.

"Oh stop it," she snorted, "I've got Ten to forget to be grateful for me. It's him you ought to pay attention to more," she winked and nodded to the Master.

"And, oh my dear Master!" she couldn't resist grabbing him in a tight hug and quickly pecking him on the cheek. He cringed.

"Oh you old softie," she grinned one last time and dragged Sam into the TARDIS. They disappeared that instant.

The Doctor sighed, "You know, seeing us in the future… it makes me wonder how we got there."

The Master drew a deep breath, then turned to the Doctor, "My dear Doctor," he sighed fondly, "shut up and kiss me," and he pulled the Doctor's head down to his lips in a style and show of dominance that was reminiscent of his future self.

The Doctor rather liked it.