Chapter.9
Lessons in Fear.

Tali was almost too the elevator when she heard Doctor Chakwas yell behind her. "Tali where do you think you're going? I told you to stay in the medical bay until I could further evaluate your condition." She sounded irritated.

Tali slowly turned around to face her enforcer trying to think of a good argument to use."I'm fine doctor; I told you before. I sealed my suit as soon as it ruptured there is no infection." Tali stated trying to sound bold to get away from the doctor.

Chakwas looked at the ground then back up at Tali. "Alright, fine go evaluate something in engineering and when you get a cold come back here and see me." Said a still irritated Doctor Chakwas.

Tali waited until Chakwas had disappeared from view before pushing the top button on the elevator which lead to the captain's cabin.

When Tali stepped through the doors of Shepard room she immediately knew all was not well. The air was filled with the smell of alcohol, and the lights were out. Tali went over to the switch and turned on the lights revealing an array of empty bottles on Shepard desk. She started to look around trying to find the sad lonely creature that inhabited this lair, instead she was only meet with pieces of bloody amour scattered about the room and a few broken glasses.

Tali started to turn around and rush down to tell the others that the commander was missing but before she could make it to the elevator the hatch to the private head slide open reveling a recently showered and shaved tan figure.

Shepard was startled to see Tali here among the carnage of his room; he started to go back in the head to get properly dressed since all he was wearing was a towel around his waist but then remembered he had no clothes in there.

"Tali I thought you were going to stay in medical for a while." Said Shepard his voice sounded somewhat embarrassed.

Tali rubbed her hands nervously and looked down at them not wanting to stare at Shepard since he was almost naked. "I….I convinced the doctor that I was fine and staying down there wasn't going to help my health." Tali sounded even more embarrassed then Shepard and very nervous.

After a short silence where they both pondered the others thoughts Shepard spoke up quietly and somberly."You should probably go…I don't want to…." Shepard voice stopped abruptly. He didn't want to talk about his current mental state to the women he loved and was afraid the mention of it would somehow cause it to happen again.

Tali took a step towards him and as she did Shepard shunned himself from her looking at the ground quickly trying to avoid eye contact.

Shepard thought to himself quickly as she approached. "No she can't stay here it's not safe with me…if it even is me."

Tali took one of his hands in hers and held it tightly. She forgot about her anxiety and was determined to show Shepard just how much she loved him. "You don't have to hide yourself from me Shepard; I don't care about what happened. That was an accident and I know you would never hurt me on purpose." Tali's emotions were clear even through her mask.

Tali didn't know when she first started to love Shepard but she knew that she had waited too long to reveal her feelings to him.

Shepard looked into Tali's bright silver eyes that laid motionless on his. He wanted to be with her but was afraid. He didn't recognize the emotion of fear and love they were both foreign to him. All his life had been filled with determination and action there was never any time for fear or love, no room for these luxuries of a normal life.

Shepard broke the silence but kept his eyes trained on her own beautiful deep silver eyes. "I love you Tali and if you're alright with my…condition I want nothing more out of this life then to be with you." Shepard's own resolve to show his affection had increased with each word.

Tali suddenly broke the stare and hugged his bare chest. She pressed herself against him feeling safe within his grasp. She realized that being near him was the only time she felt safe and wanted. He was a shield for her always standing resilient and strong against anything thrown at her. He had watched over her ever since they had meet and now that he was back within her grasp she dared not let go for fear she would lose him again.

Tali slowly backed up away from Shepard so she could speak to him more clearly and inform him of her recent exploit. "Before I left the medical bay Shepard, I borrowed some items that will strengthen my immune system and I thought since we have some time to ourselves…" Tali's voice trailed off, she was nervous again but this time she was also excited and eager.

Shepard felt an uncontrollable grin spread across his face as the young girl spoke. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, he had often admired Tali's figure but always thought of their relationship as purely emotional love and never believed they would be able to consummate it.

Tali looked at the tall commander curious as to whether the grin was a good or bad sign.

Shepard was happy about Tali's decision but worried about her true feelings. He spoke softly and affectionately. "Tali are you sure about this, you don't owe me anything and this is something I want to make sure you're ok with."

Tali smiled under her mask relieved at the commanders caring response. She was nervous but knew he had her best interests in mind and would not do anything she didn't desire. Tali nodded her head at Shepard in a rapid motion that made Shepard smile again this time not hiding it.

He took her hand and led her to the bed were they both sat down beside each other. She was visibly nervous by the way she grinded her hands together. She spoke up as Shepard was looking into her mask wishing to see her face. "I've taken the proper medication and everything should be fine, but I'm still nervous and I want you to know that I want this." Her voice was giving away her excitement as much as her apprehensiveness.

Shepard reached up to remove the mask; she guided his hands with hers to help him find the latch that sealed her helmet. He slowly and carefully released the mask from the rest of the suit; he held the mask in his hands for a moment listening to her stammer on nervously.

He pulled back the mask revealing her face, a flawless and untouched face with a light violet shade to it. Shepard could see long black strands of hair behind her face and wished to see the rest of her body to see what other surprises she had kept hidden. He sat the mask down on the floor carefully without looking, too focused on her beautiful face.

She looked up at Shepard nervously praying that he would still want to go forward after he saw her face. She looked into his eyes and thought to herself how the deep blue aura of his eyes seemed to go on forever.

She saw a smile spread across the Commanders lips and suddenly craved their attention. She pushed him back onto the bed leaving all her apprehensiveness behind, deciding instead to fulfill her dream of showing the commander her feelings and body without the presence of fear.

Once the commander was on his back she pressed her soft lips against his, she was unsure if she was kissing him properly but when he put his hand to her face and she felt his rough skin against hers she felt energized and alive with feeling.

They finally parted lips and breathed heavily causing moisture to form on their skin. She looked at him and smiled, free of the bonds that had held her from this strong human, she had never been more excited and in love then she was at this moment. Tali breathed deeply with a faint hum in her soft voice. "You're going to need to save your strength commander."