He felt like he should have been sad at that moment. Like maybe he shouldn't be smiling on the inside. The best Doyle could do though was comfort them. Gunn, Wesley, and Cordelia all stood, boxes in their hands unsure of what the next move would be. All four of them had just been fired by Angel, a man no longer on the edge. A man who had surely fallen off.
It was kind of funny. He was the person with the most to lose. Not only had he lost a job just like the others, but he didn't know what he was going to do about the visions. If they were intended for Angel, would he still have them? What would he do if he did? Then there was the fact that he was living in the hotel with Angel. This was a problem to a much smaller degree, though. He had seen the changes Angel was going through and had to admit he was a little scared of what was going on. He wasn't exactly in any condition to stop the man, either. Lately he had been staying with Cordelia a lot more, who welcomed his company out of the same fear he had about Angel possibly changing back to his soulless self. Gradually he had moved all of his things back in with her. She had noticed the obvious move but, much to his relief and hopeful joy, didn't seem to mind. He doubted Angel had seen this change and his actions concerned him, but still, Doyle was looking up.
The move had made keeping the surprise he had for her a little harder to keep under wraps. He wanted her to be the first person to know, but on his time. Living with her made this much more difficult to accomplish. That morning in fact. he had finally reached his goal. He asked her if he could make her dinner and tell her something that night. She said it was a date. Much to his joy. Now he wasn't sure if she still wanted to do this. She was depressed not only about losing a job but about Angel. Eventually everyone would be fine, everything would be fine. He wasn't even as betrayed as everyone else seemed to feel about Angel. He knew what it was like to turn his back on his calling, he assumed that was the reason why. He supposed he could keep things a secret a while longer.
A while after Gunn and Wesley had finally departed in separate directions he and Cordy made their way to her place. He placed her box of things in his lap as they walked and a few times he felt like letting it slip. The entire time they walked she talked, allowing him no time to ruin the moment. She complained about how Angel was betraying the cause and more importantly them. How he was changing back to his old self and they would have to get rid of him. She voiced all of her concerns and Doyle did his best to make her feel better. By the time they had reached her place he was very Happy to realize she was in a much better mood than she had been, almost distracted altogether from everything that had happened that night.
"Thanks Doyle. You've always been a good person to talk to. I can count on you." She said as they entered, greeted by Dennis.
"Well, I don't know about that. I was in a coma fer most of the time lately."
"Even then...it's stupid but I used to talk to you then. It made me feel better that you were always there for me, you know?" She offered, self consciously.
"Glad to have helped princess." He offered with a lazy smile. Silence fell over them for a moment and Doyle found it increasingly difficult to not reach up and stroke her cheek. Kiss her. Do anything to make her feel better.
"Oh, god!" She exclaimed breaking his thoughts, "You said you wanted to tell me something." she said completely engrossed in what he could have to say.
He had wanted to tell her for weeks now, but today was not the right day for this sort of thing. Truth be told he had it planned pretty specifically and this dark cloud hanging over them would not make this something that would truly seem like good news.
"It's not important, Cordy. We can talk later." He tried to downplay the news. She was having none of it.
"No. Come on you said it was good news. We could really use some right about now."
She had a point. To him at least, she always made a good point. He'd jump off a cliff if she told him to, he was sure. He sighed slightly. He could spend another hour trying in vain to convince her to have him tell her later but knew eventually she would get her way. She always did with him. He made eye contact with her and she seemed to be brimming with anticipation. Suddenly the feat felt much less grand to him, but Doyle pushed his chair into a locked position and slowly rose. Though unsteady he took the steps he had been practicing over and over towards her.
Cordelia let out a small gasp of excitement and met Doyle in the middle of the space between him with a fierce hug. He had waited for months for this moment. To be able to stand beside her, to hug her tightly. He could smell the vanilla scent of her shampoo as they embraced for moments much longer than they ever had before.
"This is not not important Doyle!" She exclaimed with a playful punch to his arm as they broke apart.
"Everything going on and all..." He mumbled under his breath. He couldn't help but notice they still stood very close together. Silence blanketed them once more. She squinted her eyes as she looked him up and down before making eye contact once again.
"You're taller than I remember." She said quizzically.
"Nah, yer just not wearin' heels." He replied.
He enjoyed her laugh before yet again they became at a loss for words. They both maintained their meaningful contact as he kept his arms wrapped loosely around her waist and her hands fell on his arms. The feelings Doyle had felt from the moment he had met this woman, in close proximity much like this came surging forward. Their friendship had been strained since he took the visions back from her but his spending the last few weeks with her it had rebounded to something more than it had ever been. He felt his head move just slightly forward, as if to test the ground it had. He swore he saw her move forward as well. He made his decision quickly and rapidly filled the space between them.
He had almost done this once before. When he thought he was going to die all he wanted to do was kiss her. Tell her how he felt in case he died. He had chickened out at the last second. Something inside him told him she knew to some extent that he was attracted to her. But did she know it was love? More importantly,he thought about whether or not she feel the same. As they space between them narrowed he hoped this was a resounding yes. All he could think was that he had missed this chance the first time. He wouldn't do it again.
Their lips met and explosions of pleasure ran through Doyle. He pressed harder, trying to express all of the pent up feelings he had for her in one kiss, as if this may be the only chance he had. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed further as well. Deep inside he still had his doubts about how she felt, but if this was his only chance he would not waste it.
They broke apart and Doyle examined her face for he knew his was filled with shock, happiness, and desire for more. Hers matched what he could only imagine his looked like. They simultaneously moved and embraced once again. Just like the first it was nothing like Doyle could have ever imagined. Even in his dreams he was rejected by her. But now she was kissing him.
It took mere moments for them to begin moving to Cordelia's bedroom. In the back of his mind Doyle couldn't help but notice Dennis had not tried to stop them. He felt like it was a sign the over-protective ghost that inhabited the apartment hadn't tried to sabotage him. Cordelia lay on top of her bed and for the first time in months his legs felt weak for an entirely different reason.
"Cordy are you-" He wanted to make sure this was in fact what she wanted. Much to his relief she moved forward to retrieve him and meet on the bed. He felt a familiar inkling throughout his body and cursed loudly, throwing her off.
"Do you not-" She asked, suddenly sounding very small and self-conscious.
Doyle tried his best to tell her this was all he's ever dreamed of since meeting her but words escaped him. Instead his mind was wracked with excruciating pain. He doubled over as the vision invaded his mind. He wanted nothing more than to ignore it had ever happened, and reach towards the woman he loved. The Powers That Be had other plans however. No sooner had he recovered regular sight did he find Cordelia by his side, all business.
"You had a vision." She said with a hint of sadness.
"Yeah" he replied equally as quietly. They both looked down for an instant, almost embarrassed about what had just happened. Almost as if the vision had stopped them from making a big mistake. He knew for him it wasn't a mistake with everything he felt for her. He had to only hope she felt the same.
"I'll call Wes and Gunn then." She said. She looked as if she wanted to add something else, but the look of pain on his face from the vision and the loss of the night on Doyle's face deterred her. Within moments they were on the road with Gunn and Wesley, not speaking of the night they almost had. Both thinking the same thoughts.Well let me know what you guys think and review.