Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Author's Notes-- Sorry for the long wait... I've been trying to write a chapter as amusing as the previous ones... I guess I got it... but I don't know. That's where the reader comes in. I have an (unfinished) hand written two-pager for this chapter. Written during classes in my broken cursive, haha.
xXx
Flustered, Kagome covered her shirt with her arms defensively. "What are you staring at me like that for!?"
Inuyasha just blinked, his gaze never lifted from the red dot she was unknowingly sporting. A dazed expression was spread across his face, and his voice was frighteningly serious. "Kagome. Don't move." She tensed, not from his command, but from his voice. "Now be calm... and take off your shirt."
Kagome's jaw dropped to the ground, an appalled look on her face. "What!?" She took a step backward, "Are you insane!?"
Finally, the ignorant hanyou gave her a hard stare in the face instead of her chest, "Don't be stupid. I'm trying to help you!" he barked, grabbing her by the arms and making her outrageously uncomfortable. "Now take it off!"
"No way!" she screamed, writhing in his grip. "Lemme go, you brute!"
He scoffed at the "brute" comment. "Don't be ridiculous!" he yelled. She continued to resist his vice until finally, her footing was lost and he shoved her back into the dirt. Swapping his grasp from her arms to her wrist, he placed her hands above her head and his free hand on her abdomen. "Shippou! Help me hold her down!"
The young kitsune, completely oblivious to the innuendo, tucked something in his shirt before bouncing towards the quarreling couple. Kagome looked up, her eyes pleading, and Inuyasha tightened his grip on her wrist. "What are you doing to her?" Shippou asked, bewildered.
The hanyou answered without missing a beat, "Trying to get her to hold still so I can get her shirt off!"
Kagome's face heated up at his explanation, and he still had no idea what he was saying. "Do you see yourself, you pervert!!"
"Stop yelling! I'm trying to help you!"
"I don't need that kind of help!"
"If you two don't mind..." Both Kagome and Inuyasha glanced up at the drowsy monk standing in the doorway to his own room. "Could you perhaps take your shenanigans inside? Others are trying to get some rest." he yawned, not phased in the slightest by their stunned faces, and returned to his room.
Kagome blushed madly at her and Inuyasha's disposition, especially since Miroku had walked in on it.
Sadly enough, during her stupor, Inuyasha stopped paying attention to the monk. When he returned to his room, the hanyou took advantage of Kagome's comatose state and proceeded to yank her top off.
She screamed.
At the top of her lungs, she let out a stupendous trophy of lung capacity.
Shippou fled to the inn room, scared by Kagome's screech. Covering herself, she scrambled to her feet. "Inuyasha!! What are you doing!!" she wailed, her face a deep crimson. Inuyasha didn't even look up at her. He was too busy searching and sniffing her stolen shirt. "Are you listeinng to me!?"
Inuyasha held out her shirt away from himself, baffled. "Where the hell did it go?"
"Inuyasha!!"
At the shriek of his name he flinched and cautiously glanced up. He caught the sight of Kagome's blushing, half-naked posture and at last realized what he had been doing. He dropped her shirt, and blushed darker than she was. "Uhh..." he laughed uneasily.
Kagome glowered at him. "What. In. The. Hell!" she panted, her slender body shivering from the pond water she was still drenched in.
"Um- Ka- gome... I..." he rambled, sweating the thought of her wrath. Noticing the goosebumps on her arms, he vigilantly slipped off his haroi and handed it to her. She graciously took it and covered herself, taking a deep breath.
"Sit!!"
Inuyasha clenched his eyes shut as the prayer beads around his neck trembled and he was once again reunited with the ground. He growled from his self-shaped crater and glared at the girl, who returned his angry expression.
"You don't have to overreact!" he shouted.
She huffed, "You don't have to try to rip my shirt off!"
"Just 'cause there was a demon on it!"
Kagome blinked and her voice softened, "A demon?"
He sat himself up and crossed his arms over his chest. "Keh. Excuse me for trying to save you. Don't come crying to me when it comes back!"
"Oh... well..." she paused, "You could have said something! Kami knows Miroku's thinking you were trying to seduce me!" Her hands went to her face in dismay.
Inuyasha's face flushed a bit. "Stupid lech... drawing conclusions..."
"Yeah..." she gulped at the thought of the monk's presumptuous nature. "He's too quick to judge..."
The two glanced at each other from the corner of their eyes and just a quickly turned away, their cheeks blazing. Both of them shuddered, thinking the same thing.
"The next few days are gonna be awkward..."
XxX
The following morning...
"Goodbye everyone! Thank you for the hospitality!" Kagome waved to the villagers with a huge smile stuck to her face. She turned back to her friends' backs as they kept walking. Eventually, she caught up to them, and Shippou bounced into the basket of the bicycle she pushed by her side.
"Hey, Kagome." Shippou whispered, beckoning the miko to come closer to him.
She inched her face closer to his level, "What is it Shippou?"
"This thing you let me borrow..." His voice was extremely discrete, "Why doesn't it show up during the day?"
A slightly alarmed look sprouted onto Kagome's features. "Shh! Shippou. Do you know how angry..." She didn't have to continue. Images of Inuyasha tearing him limb from limb, ripping off his legs and beating him with them, and the like were already rushing through Shippou's mind.
"Uh-huh..." The kitsune visually shuttered, chills dripping off his spine.
Kagome nodded, knowing good and well what Shippou was thinking at the moment.
A few hours into their trek, the group stopped for some lunch... because that's just what they do.
"I'm gonna go for a walk." Shippou stated, standing up and walking towards the forest.
"Keh. Don't get lost or killed or anything, or I'll be the blame." Inuyasha blurted whilst slurping on his ramen.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome shouted like a housewife before turning to Shippou, "He means be careful. You can take Kirara with you, right?"
The kitsune contemplated it. "Sure! Common, Kirara!" Shippou pointed into the direction he wanted to go and the youkai neko meowed in acceptance.
When they were gone, Kagome sunk into her spot on the grass. "I hope they'll be alright..."
Inuyasha scoffed, "Keh. They'll be fine. Shippou may be useless but Kirara can defend the both of them." He tossed his empty ramen cup and chopsticks into the fire, watching them burn.
Sango hummed in thought, "I don't know. I was talking to some villagers last night and there have been rumors of some formidable youkai this area."
"Yeah but to those villagers, a ladybug is formidable." Inuyasha muttered with a flat expression.
Kagome giggled at his sarcasm. "Of course, but you have to think about Shippou just being a child... and I don't know if Kirara will be enough if a really big youkai comes along..."
Miroku stood from his spot and shut his eyes in deep concentration. "There does seem to be some sort of aura around... but it's nothing like Naraku."
"Yeah... so?" Inuyasha looked at the monk like he was mental. "I've felt the aura too but it's nothing to be worried about." A gentle tug on his sleeve caused him to redirect his attention from the monk. Kagome looked up at him with an apprehensive glance.
"Inuyasha, you and Miroku should follow Shippou, just in case." she spoke softly, like she was vigilant.
He huffed and crossed his arms, "Keh. Why should we? The brat can take care of himself, can't he?"
"That's the question I'm asking myself." her voice hardened and she wasn't afraid of his reactions anymore. "Follow him but don't let him know that you are. Shippou has about as much pride as you do!" she put her finger in his face and pressed the tip of his nose.
He scoffed and swatted her away. "Fine, whatever. Let's go Miroku."
The monk nodded, "Yes. Let's. At least it will put the girls' minds at ease." he spoke with a smile and a gentle wave. What a gentleman...
"Thanks guys." Kagome smiled and waved back while Sango sat there silently- probably making silent threats to Miroku's phony knight-in-shining-armor charisma.
xXx
"Kya!" Shippou cried. He quickly whipped out a small metal object and pointed it at a nearby tree. A tiny red dot appeared on the bark and Kirara instinctively pounced it.
The kitsune chuckled and looked at his new weapon. Going to the deepest, darkest part of the forest to practice was the best idea he's had in a while. Again he shouted "Kya!" and aimed at another spot. Kirara tried attacking once more, and Shippou cackled. This cycle went on for a while.
The sound of a twig snapping immediately caught his attention. He swirled around at an astonishing speed and pointed his weapon high up in the direction the sound came from. Before he could release his battle cry (aka "Kya!"), a groan of discomfort came from the shadows. This groan quickly transformed into an extremely menacing growl...
Shippou gulped, "Uh-oh..."
"Shippou you little brat!!" Inuyasha roared as he bounded towards the tiny fox.
"Ah! Inuyasha!" he screamed, scrambling away from the enraged hanyou. "I'm sorry!"
The hanyou just scoffed and leaped so he landed in front of Shippou. "Yeah, right! I knew you were the one behind that blasted red dot! I should kill you for what you've put us through!"
Shippou screamed at the top of his lungs, causing Inuyasha to practically tumble to the ground and cover his mouth.
"Would you knock it off! Besides, Kagome would punish you too. Since you did make us go through that little charade back at the village..." he glowered at the fox kit and held him in the air by the back of his collar.
"Stop! Stop! I'll do whatever you want!" Shippou wailed, his arms and legs flailing madly.
Miroku finally stepped from the shadows with a wicked grin pulling on his lips. "Anything, Shippou?"
The kitsune's eyes widened, and he took in a deep breath. "KA-GO-ME!!"
Inuyasha visibly tensed and threw the fox to the ground with force. "Shut up you little brat!" he barked.
Miroku started to look around with fear written across his features. "If the girl's find us like this..." he brought his free palm to his temple in worry, "Oh, I don't want to face that judgment day!"
Meanwhile, Shippou picked himself up from the dirt and began bouncing up and down shrieking "Kagome! Kagome!".
Inuyasha and Miroku eyed each other to think of a plan. The hanyou's ear flipped into the direction of the oncoming girls and did the first thing that came to mind.
"Kagome! Kagome! Kago- AHHH!!" Shippou kept yelping before Inuyasha's foot made contact on his torso, sending him flying helplessly above the treetops.
Almost a second after Shippou's takeoff Kagome emerged from the trees with an alert expression. "What happened to Shippou!?" she panted.
"I don't know." Inuyasha started speaking right when she stopped and quickly, like he knew what she was going to say. He had a slightly goofy and nervous grin on his face.
Kagome eyed him suspiciously and turned to the monk. Miroku held his hand in front of him and shook his head. "I don't know either!"
The miko sighed before heading into a random part of the woods to search for the missing kitsune. Right when she was out of earshot the boys relaxed, releasing the breath they had been holding, and slumped over.
Miroku glanced at Inuyasha with a humorous smile on his features. "You're a genius... Do it again!"
XxX
Author's Notes-- Okay, a bit longer I guess... And yes, I did steal the last bit of dialogue from Jeff Dunham. So I don't own that... it's part of his comedic routine. At least I updated! I hope it was amusing!
Shunsatsu!,
-Destiny