A/N: This chapter was really hard to write. I had no idea where it was going to go, and then it went places that I didn't really expect. There aren't going to be a whole lot of answers, and my peek into Scully's psyche may not be what most people would imagine, but that's what writing is all about I think.
It hurt to move. She was nauseous, dizzy, groggy, and had a headache. It was like being hungover after having been run down by a steam roller. She tried to move, but discovered that her wrists and ankles were tied. All she could manage was a small whimper.
"Dana, you're awake," a voice said from above her. "You took longer than the other women. I was afraid I had given you too much."
She tried to focus her eyes on the direction of the voice, but the man seemed to be moving.
"How are you feeling?"
She didn't answer.
"I asked you a question, Dana. I don't want to start out on the wrong foot here," he said, precise warning in his voice. "It would be well advised to answer me."
She swallowed, trying to figure out her best course of action. She had to answer, but how? Her inclination was to come off mean and sarcastic, but she was sure this situation would not be the best place to use her snarky skills. But making him think she was weak would probably not work in her favor either.
"I feel like crap," she said finally. Honesty is always the best policy of course.
"I'm sorry I had to do it this way. I didn't want you to fight me."
She heard a chair scraping the floor and suddenly felt that her captor was close to her. He smelled of Old Spice and sandalwood musk, just how her dad had smelled when she was growing up. She wasn't sure if that was comforting or nauseating at this point, so she just ignored it.
"You must be wondering who I am."
"Yes."
"I'm the one you've been looking for."
"What?"
"You're with the FBI. You're looking for the guy who killed all those women. It's me."
She was quiet for a long time. She should have known who he was from the second she opened her eyes. Looking back on her track record, it only held that the perpetrator they were looking for would find her. It would have been comical if her life weren't truly in danger.
"So then I'm your next victim."
"You're much calmer than the other women were when they realized what was going to befall them."
"I've had lots of practice."
"You think I'm sick, don't you?"
"I have no idea why you do what you do, and until I know that, I can't make a statement on what kind of person you are."
He was quiet as he contemplated this. No one had ever waited to judge him. And now, someone who should probably be judging, and who would most likely do it accurately refused to. He had picked well this time. He liked her.
"I appreciate that, Dana."
"You know my name, I should know yours. It's only fair."
"I don't think I can tell you that."
"Why not? You're going to kill me before I talk to anyone."
None of his other women had ever been like her. She was a challenge, an enigma. She could be his match. Finally, after so many years of looking, he had found what he needed. He might just keep this one, at least for a while.
"Gavin."
"Gavin," she echoed. "That's Scottish, right?"
She'd had a minor but longlasting obsession with the origins of names back when she was in college. Every time she met someone she would find out what their name meant, and where it came from. Interestingly enough most people were either exactly like or completely opposite of what their name meaning said they should be. People rarely fell in the middle.
"Yes. My mother was Scottish and my father was Irish."
"That's quite the explosive combination."
"We had a German Shepherd too."
She couldn't help but smile, despite the circumstances. If she was going to be tortured and murdered by someone, at least he had a sense of humor.
"I have to leave for a while, Dana. And I like you, but I don't trust you yet, so I'm going to have to tighten things up."
"What?"
He tightened the straps on her wrists until she could feel the blood throbbing through her hands. Her ankles were next, but he didn't make those so stiff.
"I'll be back in a few hours," he said, shoving the gag into her mouth and securing it. "Don't scream."
His footsteps retreated and she heard the click of a door opening, then silence. It was then that she allowed herself to panic.
Where was she? Who was this guy? Why did he take her? How long would it be until he hurt her? When would he kill her? Would Mulder ever find her? Could she survive this? And if she did, could she live with it?
She pushed at the gag with her tongue, hoping to ease the tension a little, to make it easier to breathe if nothing else. It didn't work, and the gag tasted like metal which turned her stomach, so she stopped trying. Her eyes weren't adjusting to the darkness at all, which was discouraging. There was a soft, rhythmic whooshing noise in the distance, but she didn't know what it could be. She was sure Gavin had taken her to another Boy Scout camp, as was his MO. She just didn't know where. She supposed that she was in a cabin, and the whooshing noise was either a lake or a river, depending on the proximity. It was warm, but not terribly muggy. She tried to remember all the places she had lived that weren't muggy in the summer, but she couldn't think of any. They had always been near the ocean, and that was always muggy.
He had probably taken her away in a car. A plane or train wouldn't have worked. No one would let a man bring an unconscious woman with him, so where ever they were, Gavin would have had to drive. And it couldn't have been that long of a drive either. No longer than a day, as her sleep seemed to have been drug induced. She was in Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming or one of the Dakotas.
Even if she believed in the psychic powers Mulder claimed they shared, she wouldn't be able to channel her location to him. In this dark anonymity, she felt more alone than she ever had in her life.
"Dana, wake up."
Her eyes flew open, but she was met with darkness. No light crept in to the room, and it hadn't in the past few days or so that she had been here. She was sure that it never would. The thought that she may never see anything again struck at her very soul.
"I'm sorry I was gone so long," Gavin said as he reached over to undo the gag. She opened and closed her mouth several times, working the sore muscles.
"Aren't you even going to greet me, Dana?"
"Hi," she whispered, wishing he would let her sit up.
"Did you miss me?"
She wasn't sure what to say, so she stayed silent.
"It's probably too soon for that. Eventually, you'll miss me when I go, just as a wife misses her husband."
"What?"
"Just be patient, Dana. You're a smart woman, you'll figure it out in a little while."
She sighed. Her mind had already been trying to figure out the game he was playing and none of her conclusions made her feel very safe.
"Where did you go?" she asked. In the last day, or however long it had been since she woke up the first time, she had found that keeping up a regular, normal conversation with him was best. He hadn't hurt her yet, which was a good thing, considering most of his victims had probably endured torture from the beginning.
"I needed to get some things at the store."
"Can I please have a drink of water? I'm so thirsty."
"I'm sorry, Dana, I can't do that. I am the only thing you need."
"If I don't have something to drink, I'll dehydrate and die. Soon. Do you really want that?"
He was quiet for a moment.
"Alright, you can have some water. I'll be right back."
He left the room and returned a few moments later, sitting down on the side of the bed. He brought the cup to her lips and she drank the tepid water greedily. He pulled it away long before she was done, but she knew it was best not to complain.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome," he said, reaching down to touch her face. She willed herself not to flinch at the contact. "You can have more later."
His hands moved down to her wrists, and he loosened the straps slowly. She was always curious about his ability to move so fluidly in the dark.
His fingers circled her wrist, gently rubbing at the sore skin. He'd done this several times, as if he was making up for binding her in the first place. If she closed her eyes and concentrated hard enough, she could almost imagine that it was Mulder tending to her injuries. Almost.
"I'm sorry about this Dana, but I don't want to lose you. I have to keep you here."
"I know."
"You may not understand it," he said, moving on to her other wrist. "But this really is for your own good. You'll see that someday. You'll be grateful for it."
"I will?"
"Yes, you will."
She forced back the bile that was rising in her throat and nodded instead.
"Gavin?"
"Yes, Dana?"
"I don't feel like talking tonight," she said softly. He made her talk all the time. Asking her questions about her childhood, her job, her dreams. He seemed to have an endless supply of things to ask her, and he never seemed to tire of her voice. He would make her talk until her voice was gone, and then he would leave, and she would sleep.
"Why not?"
"Well... I don't know. It makes me tired."
"Sometimes we all have to do things we don't enjoy, Dana."
"I know," she answered. "I thought that maybe you could talk. You know everything about me, and I don't know anything about you."
"You know that I care for you. Isn't that enough?"
She hesitated, wanting nothing more than to scream at him, tell him he had no idea what he was talking about. But she knew that would only get her to an autopsy table faster.
"Yes, it is. But relationships go both ways. I just feel like I need to know you too. I don't even know what you look like."
"No light," he said, in the harshest voice she had heard him use. "No light. I am your only guide here. The light will lie to you."
"Alright," she agreed slowly. "I trust you."
"Thank you, Dana," he said, brushing her hair back from her face. "You don't know how much that means to me."
She just nodded and bit back the tears that had started to fall. Up until now she had been able to hold in the fright and the grief, but she just couldn't do it anymore. It spilled out in a way it never had, silent but intense, hiding nothing.
"What's wrong?" Gavin asked, still holding her face.
"Nothing," she lied, trying to think of a reason that would please him.
"Do you want to go back to your old life?" he questioned, his hands becoming tighter on her face.
"No, no. I just... I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I'm trying. It's just hard to forget."
His hands immediately went slack from her face and joined with hers.
"I know, Dana. It's very hard to forget. But try, please. For me."
She nodded.
"I'll try, Gavin. I'll try."
His hand returned to her face, and he slid one finger from her temple, down her cheek and across her lips. Every fiber of her being wanted to shove him away, but she knew she couldn't. She was completely helpless. All she could do was hold on to her own sanity, not allow herself to be taken over by him. That was the only power she had, and if she could somehow use that to outwit him, maybe she would have a chance. Maybe, just maybe he would put his trust in her, allow her more freedom. If she played along, eventually, he might untie her, let her be free. She took a deep breath and tried to rest in that thought.
"Where did you grow up?" Scully asked. Gavin finally told her that he would talk, but if she asked a question he didn't want to answer, she couldn't ask it again.
"Everywhere, like you. Dad was in the Marines."
"Was he gone a lot?"
"Yes."
"Do you have brothers and sisters?"
"No. It was just me and mom. I wasn't as lucky as you."
That simple phrase told her she was asking questions in a direction Gavin didn't want to go. She switched topics.
"Where did you go to college?"
"West Point."
"Which branch are you?"
"Marines. I wanted to please my parents."
"You wish you had picked something else?"
"I wanted to be a farmer."
"It's hard when what you want and what your parents want are different things."
"Your parents didn't want you to join the F.B.I.?"
"They would have preferred almost anything else. They sent me to med school with dreams of my own practice and an early retirement."
"Why didn't you do it?"
"I wanted to make a difference in the world. I thought I could do that through the F.B.I."
"And all it's gotten you is this. Kidnapped by a madman."
"You're not a madman. I've seen madmen, Gavin. I've been kidnapped by them before. And while I can't figure you out, I don't think you're a madman."
"You say you've been kidnapped before like it's a normal thing."
"It's not abnormal," she said quietly.
"You know," he said after a long pause. "You and I are a lot alike."
"I suppose we are."
She heard him shift a little, and something inside told her to run, but of course she couldn't. Her heart pounded in her throat as she felt him sit down next to her. His hands were on either side of her and he slowly moved towards her.
"Gavin-"
"Don't ruin it, Dana. We're so close. So close to being perfect."
"No, wait. Please."
"Why?"
"I just... please wait. Please, just be patient."
She couldn't believe she saying this. Convincing her captor that she wasn't ready to be with him. As if promising him something in the future. She wanted to push him away, fight him, injure him. She wanted to punish him for making her think like this, for forcing her to play this role. She hated him, and she had to get out soon.
"I'm sorry," he said finally, moving away. "I didn't mean to go too fast."
She felt a twinge of victory. Safe for a while longer, and finally having some pull.
"It's okay, Gavin. It doesn't change what I think about you."
"Thank you, Dana."
He sat quietly for a moment longer, then moved back to his chair. She held back the sigh of relief, and told her heart rate to slow down. She'd be fine.
"Dana, I'm going to go for a while. I'll be back in a few hours."
"Okay."
His feet shuffled towards the door and he slipped outside. She waited for several moments then sat up. She was immediately dizzy, but this was the first time he hadn't tied her down. Her ankles were still strapped, but if she got lucky, maybe she could get them off.
She struggled with them for a moment, trying to figure out how to get them loose. Without being able to see, it was almost impossible.
"Mulder," she muttered. "Mulder, you've got to find me."
The door swung open, and she could hear Gavin walking towards her, his footsteps faster than usual.
"I didn't want to believe it, Dana. I didn't want to believe you'd betray me, but I knew you would."
"Gavin, I-"
"No Dana. I thought you were the one I was looking for, but I guess I was wrong. I'd better deal with you the way I dealt with the others. It's time, Dana. Now is when it begins."