Chapter 3
Severus stared at the potion boiling in front of him. The mixture bubbled slightly, the green color reminding him of a pair of eye's he'd like to forget. He was so stupid. How had he let his word's slip like that? He was always in control. So why had he lost it like that the last time he saw Harry?
A week had passed, it was Saturday again. The day he normally went to the club to relax. Harry had written him letters, two or three every day, asking him to meet him and explain to him what happened.
He had never answered.
He couldn't tell Harry, he didn't want to. Still, a small part in his mind that Severus kept carefully concealed, knew he had to. There was no going back if he wanted to keep Harry as a friend. But did he want to? Did he want to keep Harry close to himself?
He wanted to. He really did.
But still. Was this need for having the boy close stronger then the need to keep this part of his life a secret? The fact that he was even thinking about it showed that it probably was. Severus didn't want to admit it, but he couldn't deny it, as much as he tried.
With an angry sound he let the potion disappear, and threw on his muggle clothes. He rushed to the Forbidden Forest and apperated to the club. He didn't know if Harry would be there, but if he was, he would tell him what he meant.
He walked inside, taking of his coat and sat down at the bar. He looked around, finally spotting Harry coming from the bathroom. As soon as he had spotted him, Harry had seen him. The boy quickly hurried his way, slowing down the closer he came and then stopped in front of Severus.
"I didn't expect you being here." Harry simply said.
"I didn't expect me being here either." Severus dryly answered, ordering a water.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Harry asked, sitting down next to him. Severus didn't respond for a while, and then just nodded.
"I will show you. I assume you know how." he said, and watched Harry breath out in relieve.
"Yes, I know how. Do you want to do it now, or do you want to stay here?" Severus knew that Harry was probably dying of curiosity, but he couldn't go back now. Not just yet. He thought about how he could extend their visit here without telling Harry directly that he wasn't ready yet. Even though he knew that Potter would probably see him through.
"Let's dance." was all the black-haired wizard said, before he got up and looked at Harry.
The Boy who lived smiled at him and nodded, before taking his hand. Severus didn't know why he allowed this, being so close to Harry when he had promised himself to keep him at distance. But he needed to be close to him, feel his body near his own. Before that, he couldn't show Harry.
He followed Harry to the dance floor, placing his hands around Harry's neck. They started to move, Harry's hands on his hips, gently leading him. Severus still felt awkward, but with Harry's guidance, he started to relax. Nothing could go wrong. Harry would protect him.
When had he started trusting Harry like this? When had he let the boy in? Severus couldn't remember, and right now he didn't care. The heat of the other body so close to him felt to good. He just wanted to enjoy dancing with him.
He could feel Harry move closer, pressing their body's together, but he didn't mind. He could feel the boy's heartbeat, hear the shaking breath's the young man gave. Was he scared of what Severus would show him, or was he just exited? Or maybe both?
They danced for a while, until Severus felt himself growing hard. It was just then when he noticed something hard pressing against his thigh. He slowly moved away. It was time to leave.
"Let's go." he said and looked at Harry. The boy nodded. He got his coat, waiting for Harry to do the same and then left the club. They walked to the train station, as usual being followed by the boy.
They apperated, and walked to Severus private room.
"Sit here." Severus said, pointing to one of the chairs. "I'll be back in a second." Harry complied, at sat down. Severus then left the room, and returning with the pensive.
He carefully placed it on top of the small table standing in between the chairs. Harry slowly got up.
"Are you sure you want to see this?" Severus asked, watching Harry.
"Yes. I need to know. I just need to." Severus gave a small nod. He had known the answer to his question before he had asked it.
Harry stood next to him, and Severus slowly took his hand. They looked at each other, and together dived into the memory.
"Sev! Wait!" James Potter called as he followed a running Severus into the library. He seemed upset, both of them did. They came to a stop at the back of the library, where they couldn't be seen.
"What do you want?!" young Severus hissed, turning to glare at James.
"We need to talk." James said, bitting his lower lip. "I'm sorry Sirius picks on you all the time I..."
"Then why don't you do anything against it?" Severus spat, slowly sitting down in one of the chairs that stood there. "When are you going to tell him?"
James was silent for a while.
"I... I don't want to loose him Severus. He's my best friend." he then said, sitting down on the chair next to Severus. "And what should I tell him? 'Hey Sirius, I like Snape, you know the guy you hate, but he doesn't want me. Could you eventually stop being mean to him?' It's not like we're together Sev."
"Stop calling me that." Snape said. "Even if we were together, you wouldn't tell him. Face it James, you are a coward. You would never let anybody know." Severus shook his head.
"Maybe I would if you'd finally agree to start seeing me!" James said, his voice raising. "Maybe if you'd give me a chance, I could proof to you I would."
"If you can't even tell him you like me, you won't tell him we are a couple." Severus just answered. "Which is the reason why I won't start dating you. I doubt you even like me as much as you say. It's probably some sick joke."
"You're wrong." James insisted. "I like you. I love you Sev!"
Severus gave a snort. "Go lie to someone who believes you."
Out of nowhere, James jumped up and grabbed Severus' wrist, pushing him against a bookshelf.
"You want proof?" he snapped, before he forced Severus hand's over his head. "Fine, here you go."
James kissed Severus, so violently it looked like it hurt. He pushed himself against Snape's struggling body, using one hand to keep the hand's of the black haired boy pinned over his head, using the other to touch Severus.
Severus' protest was muffled by James demanding lips, as the Gryffindor slipped his hand's into Severus pants. It didn't take long, only a few minutes, before James let go of Severus, licking a white fluid from his hand.
"There. Now you know how my I like you." he whispered, before he turned and left, leaving a crying Severus behind.
This was the moment when Severus pulled them back out of the memory, letting go of Harry's hand and stared at the floor.
"Now you know what I mean." Severus said, watching Harry's expression. The boy looked shocked, angry... he probably hadn't thought his father was capable of liking Snape, or forcing him to such things as he had just seen.
"...What happened after this? And what about my mother?" Harry quietly asked, still staring at the pensive.
"I told him I never wanted to see him again. He was furious. A few days afterwards, he hung me by my feet and showed everybody my underwear. I... I thought I loved Lily, and I did, very much. But as a sister. Not as anything else." Severus said. Harry just shook his head.
"I'm sorry Severus." he said, finally looking at the Potions Master. "I am so sorry."
Severus just shook his head. "You didn't know..." was all he said.
They stood in silence, neither one moving. Then suddenly, Severus felt arms wrap around him. Harry pulled him close to his chest, holding him. Severus placed his hands on his back.
"I promise I'll treat you well." Harry whispered. "I promise I'll keep you safe. I promise I'll do anything to make you happy."
Severus closed his eyes and breathed in Harry's scent. He knew Harry would keep his promise. But he was still afraid. Afraid that it would all go wrong.
Still, he couldn't deny his feelings for the boy anymore. He wanted to be with him. More then he had ever wanted to be with anybody else.
"...We have to take it slow. Very slow. And be careful. I want to keep it a secret first." Severus said, leaning against Harry. He could feel the boy's body shiver.
"I promise I will do everything you ask of me." Harry whispered, looking into two black eyes.
Severus nodded, and studied Harry's face for a while. Then, he gently pressed his lips to Harry's. They both trembled, but then the kiss deepened. Severus felt Harry's tongue invading his mouth, and it tasted sweeter that any sin. They kissed a while, before Harry let go. They both breathed heavily, and Severus knew if Harry didn't leave soon, they would rush into something his body was ready for. But not his mind.
"I have to go." Harry said "I will write to you. I want to meet you before Saturday."
"I will answer as soon as I get your letter." Severus said, allowing a small smile to appear on his face.
"Good night, Severus." Harry said, moving towards the door.
"Good night, Harry."
"Hey mate, what's up?" Ron said, sitting down on the chair next to Harry's. The boy who lived was sitting in his flat, and had invited Ron over. They both stilled enjoyed spending time together, and they would visit once or twice a week.
"Nothing much." Harry replied, smiling at his best friend. "Work is keeping me busy. How about you? How's Hermione?"
"She's doing good. She's got a lot of work to do, so she's a little tired. I told her to slow down, now that she's pregnant, but she won't listen to me." Ron gave a small sigh. "But aside that, I'm doing okay."
Harry smiled. "She really should slow down. What month is she in?"
"6th. She's complaining that she feels like a elephant." they both laughed.
"So mate, what about you? Do you have someone?" Ron asked, looking at Harry curiously.
Harry hesitated, and then nodded. "I do." Ron knew he was gay, and had accepted it pretty quickly.
"Oh, who is it?" Ron asked.
"I.. I'd rather not say until things work out. We're still at the beginning." Harry said, smiling apologetic at Ron.
"Oh, that's cool." the red-head answered. "You think it will work out?"
"I really hope so." Harry said. In that moment, he could hear a soft knock at the window. He quickly got up, and let the owl in that carried the letter Harry had been waiting for since this morning.
Snape had agreed to meet him tonight. They would go out and eat, this time at a restaurant Harry would choose. A smile appeared on Harry's face. Ron grinned.
"Got a date tonight?" he asked knowingly. Harry grinned as well.
"Yeah. Gonna go grab a bite." he answered. "I'm meeting him at 7."
"Oh, so you've got two hours. You want me to help you find something to wear?" Ron asked, grinning even wider.
"I think I can do that myself, thank you." Harry answered, trying to stop grinning. He failed.
He sat down next to Ron again, and laid the letter on the table, upside down so Ron couldn't read from who it was from.
"So, the Quidditchmatches next week will be interesting..." Ron started. They talked about Quidditch for the rest of their time together.
At 6, Ron left and Harry got ready. He had chosen a pair of dark-blue jeans, and a white t-shirt. Snape would probably be all in black as always. After trying to tame his hair, he quickly pulled on his jacket and left.
This time Severus was already there when Harry arrived.
"Hey." Harry said, looking at Severus who had dressed completely in black. Just as he had suspected.
"Good evening." Severus said, smiling a little. "Do tell me where you are taking me. You've got me intrigued."
"You'll like it, I promise. Come." Harry said, starting to walk. Severus walked next to him, lighting a cigarette. Harry rolled his eyes.
"If you dislike smoke, you should not meet with someone who smokes." Severus said, taking a drag.
"It's not the smoke that bothers me. I'm scared you'll get cancer." Harry replied.
"I won't get cancer." Severus said, taking another drag.
"How do you know?" Harry asked, looking at Severus. The older man just grinned.
They walked in silence to the place Harry had picked. It was a small bar, and Snape first looked sceptic. But when they got in, Harry could see Severus opinion change with the expression on his face.
Soft jazz music floated through the room. There were little tables with two chairs standing in front of a stage, where the musicians worked their magic. It was full, but Harry found a table in the right corner, and lead Severus there. They sat down, and a few minutes later a waitress appeared, handing them the menu.
"Do you like it?" Harry asked, as he watched Severus flip through the menu. He knew what he wanted, since he came here pretty often, and always ordered the same thing.
"The ambiance is acceptable." Severus replied. Harry grinned. In normal English it meant as much as 'Yes, I do.'
A few minutes later the waitress was back, taking their orders and disappearing into the kitchen.
"I come to this place pretty often." Harry said. "I like the music, and the people are nice. Do you like jazz?"
"It is bearable." Severus said, watching the musicians play their instruments. Harry just grinned again. They talked about a lot of things during dinner, and Harry was pleased that Severus seemed relaxed. He had picked the right place to go.
They soon were finished with dinner, and Harry again paid for both meals.
"You shouldn't keep inviting me." Severus said, as they stood outside, lighting a cigarette. "I can very well pay for myself."
Harry smiled and then said "How about this. We take turns. I pay one dinner, and you pay the next. Does that sound like something you could agree to?"
"It does." Severus said, smiling a little. Harry gently took Severus' hand, and placed a kiss on the back of it.
"I'm glad to hear that." he said. "Would you like to go home, or can I invite you for a cup of coffee at my home? I've seen your rooms a few times. Now it's your turn to see mine."
Severus hesitated, and Harry thought about taking back what he said, but then Severus nodded.
"That sound logical." the Potions Master said, looking at Harry. The boy who lived smiled widely, and took Severus back to his home.
His flat wasn't big, made for only one person. It had a bathroom, a kitchen, a bedroom and a livingroom.
"Please make yourself at home." Harry said, smiling at Severus as he lead him into the livingroom. "I'll be back with the coffee in a second."
Severus nodded, and sat down on the couch. He didn't have to wait long, Harry soon came back with two cup's of hot coffee.
"Do you need sugar or milk?" he asked, but Severus shook his head. He sat down next so Severus, and sipped his coffee.
"You have a very nice home." Severus said, not looking at Harry. The boy who lived could feel the heat of Severus' body, causing goose bumps.
"Thank you. It's a real mess though. I can't get myself to pick up more then once a week." Severus gave a small laugh. Harry could feel his body tingle. He loved it when Severus laughed. Absolutely.
"It could be worse." Severus said, and took a sip of his coffee. His hand was laying on his thigh, and Harry could help but take it into his. Severus didn't pull his hand away.
They sat like this for a few minutes, not speaking. Just being together, feeling the other's presence... Harry shot a look at Severus, at the same moment as Severus decided to look at him. Their eye's connected, and Harry slowly put away his cup.
He laid his hand on Severus cheek, softly stroking it with his thumb. Severus gave a small sigh and closed his eyes, relaxing into the touch. Harry gently took the cup from Severus' hand, and placed it onto the table.
Then, he gently pulled Snape closer, holding him in an embrace. Severus seemed to enjoy the touch, leaning into Harry, and giving another sigh. Harry gently stroked his back. Carefully, he lifted Severus chin, and placed a small kiss on his lips.
It started as a sweet, innocent kiss. Just the feel of lips pressing together. Severus shivered. Gently, Harry's tongue slipped between Severus', who opened them immediately. Harry explored Severus' mouth, sliding his tongue over the roof of his mouth, earning a soft moan. He felt Severus' hand's grab his t-shirt, lightly touching his nipples. Harry groaned softly, deepening the kiss. His tongue searched for Severus', and started to play with it.
He could feel Severus press against him, and shivered again. He pulled Snape onto his lap, softly touching his hips and side's. The kiss heated, both him and Severus growing more desperate. His hands moved without him thinking, caressing Severus' back and side's, making the older man moan into the kiss.
The Potion Master shifted, making their groins touch for a few seconds. Severus' hip pushed forward, rubbing their erections together. Both groaned. Harry was losing his mind, Severus drove him crazy. He wanted to touch him, touch his so bad it hurt. Without thinking, he slipped his hands under Severus' top, softly touching the skin underneath. Snape's hip thrust forward again as Harry touched his nipples, that were already hard.
He couldn't stop himself. He started to massage Severus' nipples, making the older one thrust against him more violently. He had to stop. He knew he had to. He had agreed to take it slow.
His thought were pushed out of his head as Severus pulled back from the kiss and hissed his name. Harry had to pull together all his willpower to pull back his hands.
"...I should probably take you home now." Harry breathed. Severus looked at him and nodded. The Potions Master slowly got up from Harry's lap, and they apperated back to Hogwarts.
After a quick good night kiss, Harry returned home to his flat. How was this supposed to end? Harry didn't know. But he wanted to find out.
Find out if this was a crush... or love.
Tbc...?