Umm...I really do have no excuses for posting 3-4 months later. *rubs head sheepishly* I got distracted. Then lazy. And then busy. Lol, you see where I'm going with this. Anyway, I felt bad after seeing my inbox flooded with alerts, so...ta da! A new chapter! Thanks to all of my readers!!

Hisoka silently crept up to the bedroom and scratched against the stubborn door that refused entrance. He wasn't quite yet used to the idea of not having any hands to work around with. It made simple tasks seem twice as difficult to maneuver. If it weren't for the trivial detail, this would've been an easy feat for him to accomplish. He scowled at his own incompetence.

It would have to be a door that you'd have to pull to open. Why does it have to be this challenging?

It didn't take long to notice that his plan of action was getting him nowhere fast. Moving onto another strategy, he managed to slip a paw behind the aperture and pulled it with all his might, tugging at the wooden edge in consecutive motions. Suddenly gracious that it was partially ajar to begin with, he stepped to the side as the door swung open in a smooth fashion, creaking as it slowed in movement. He peeked inside the dark room, his sharp eyes scanning around for his objective.

There, beneath the ruffled blankets and flattened pillows, lied the purpose of his endeavors writhing in a cold sweat. The sleep-ridden man breathed heavily as he panted for air, his fingers clutching onto the linen bed sheets, frantically tossing and turning around in a sweltering haze, his knuckles turning a ghostly pale white from his deathly grasp. His body lurched forward violently as he cried out in torment, his disheveled hair sticking to his face as his head twisted to the side, clearly lost within the depths of his hounding nightmare.

"Ahh...nghnn......p-please forgive me--!"

Tsuzuki...!

It pained to see him in that state. Moving forward an inch at a time, he cautiously advanced into the room, his pointed ears now leveled against the back of his head. Every step he made was inextricably agonizing for him. A flood of entangled thoughts washed over him then, sending him drowning in a never-ending pool of mixed emotions.

Fear of the outside world. Anger. Exhaustion from running away. Confusion. Hate towards oneself. Sadness. Hope for a better tomorrow. Pain. Guilt for being alive.

Hisoka willed back the stinging tears that were threatening to fall. It was too overbearing.

It never crossed his mind that Tsuzuki was still haunted by his cruel past to such a degree; the daily expressions that he wore on his face succeeded in hiding his true feelings. Even for a skilled empath like himself, he couldn't get past the mental barriers that he deliberately set up to block him off. He felt so useless. How could he help him when he didn't want it? What kind of a partner was he, that he couldn't reach out to him and take away his burdens? Tsuzuki simply refused to let others sympathize over him. When it came to personal matters, he was that type of person. A lone wolf.

His thoughts trailed to the past morning's events, brows furrowing in confusion as he rationalized with himself. On the one hand, it was perfectly fine for Tsuzuki to worry about him, but when it came to the exact opposite situation, it wasn't okay to show concern over him? How many nights did he throw himself at the mercy of his nightmares, hiding them from everyone to see?

You're nothing but a hypocrite. A stubborn one at that.

Hisoka climbed onto the mattress, stumbling over his own feet as he made his way up to Tsuzuki's chest. He went against his better intuition, thinking it better to snap him out of his turmoil and deal with the imminent pain instead of allowing him to prolong his self-induced torture. One touch to the shoulder was all it took to send him to a world of excruciating misery. He had suffered through this gut-wrenched feeling before, it was the same piercing blow to the head. Only this time, it seemed intensified.

Feelings of discrimination. Persecution. Hatred.

He bore the intense flash of searing sensations as he prodded his forehead against the man's palm while mewling weakly in a last ditch effort to get him to snap out of his nightmare. He felt his strength fading from his body faster than he could withstand. His head was starting to throb severely, his stomach flipping in all directions so much that he wanted to rip out his insides and scream aloud in pain. This was what Tsuzuki felt. Why did he insist on taking their words to heart? He was the real victim. They were the monsters. Why didn't he understand this? How much more convincing did he need?

He was bordering on the end of his last straw, the extremity of his visions depleting each ounce of stamina that he had left. Tsuzuki, wake up!! Please...! N-no more......

Tsuzuki woke up in a distraught tremor, letting out a sharp gasp as he jolted back from the springs of his mattress. Beads of clammy sweat trickled down his forehead, causing his pajama shirt to cling tightly to his body. His chest heaved up and down in heavy puffs as his heart pounded like crazy against his ribcage, the quick pants of cold nighttime air scratching against his raspy throat. His sight faded over in a fuzzy gray cloud as wells of fresh tears gathered in his baggy eyes, suddenly conscious of the traumatic dream that he had just pulled himself out of.

Every night was more or less the same; his nightmares shifted around to include new faces of the innocent lives that he stole, the frequency and magnitude of his delusions increasing with each passing night. Even though he anticipated his dreams, it didn't mean that he was used to them.

Bringing a knee up to rest his elbow upon, he placed his weary head in his palm and sighed, trying his best to blink away the damp tears that clung to his lashes. He had calmed down considerably, but he still felt the need to get up and take a walk outside--he couldn't stand being encased in his room any longer. He had to go out.

As he shifted in bed, he felt an unfamiliar object lying next to him, preventing him from getting up. He stretched his neck to look over at the source of the blockage. A blonde powderpuff curled stiffly against his waist, its tiny claws digging into his side as the small figure shivered and winced in pain.

Tsuzuki was taken aback, staring down in shock as his wide amethyst eyes sparkled with shimmering tears. He thought he had left in the middle of the night. What made him come back?

"...Ringo?" he whispered.

Hearing the sound of his name being called, Hisoka responded with a hushed trill of his voice, turning his head to look at his partner through lidded eyes. He mustered up enough strength to lift his fatigued legs from the blankets and walked over to Tsuzuki's face, rubbing the entire length of his body against the crook of his neck, purring softly all the meanwhile. Even as he lied down next to his shoulder and rested his chin upon his arm, he continued to reverberate, kneading away the stress from his tensed muscles with his paws.

Tsuzuki couldn't help but lean back against his bed, this time more relaxed as he gazed down at his companion and caressed him with a lazy hand, the soothing vibrations of Ringo's purring providing comfort and solace to his fatigued spirit. He didn't know when he came in to check up on him, but he was glad that someone was there to lend him support. His eyes fell shut slowly, breathing in long winds of air as he succumbed himself to sleep's volition once again, now assured of a good night's rest.

"It's like you can read my mind, you always know when to pick me up when I'm down," Tsuzuki muttered in a sleepy tone of voice, the sides of his lips curving up in a content smile, "I'm glad you came into my life as you did. I must've done something right along the way to deserve you, otherwise I doubt that you'd be here right now," he paused in his murmuring as he drifted in and out of consciousness.

"You'll never leave me, right Ringo-chan?" His voice trailed off as he was whisked away in slumber, his hand falling to the side, dangling off the edge of the bed.

Hisoka paused briefly, his whole body stiffening at Tsuzuki's words, unsure of how to respond to his blatant sincerity. He knew he had to revert back to his human self sooner or later, but if he did that, how would he react to his sudden leave of absence? He couldn't leave him hanging on a thread, with the hopes that he would come back to him one day. It would devastate Tsuzuki and completely shatter every fragment of his being. Regardless of what his heart was telling him to do, he had to be rational about it. Even though he couldn't bring it within himself to do such a thing to him, it just had to be done.

How could he go through with this in the lightest way possible?

Tsuzuki would still blame himself in the end though.

He was caught between a rock and a hard place. How could he choose between his own needs and Tsuzuki's happiness?

*gasp* Angst! And here you were thinking that it was all gonna be cutesy-wootsy kitties, fluffy bunnies, and playful puppies. Lol, the next chapter is on its way! It might be taking the local train to get there (and two bus transfers), but it's a' coming!