A/N: For fd-hp-Ecluvr who is addicted to this story. Hope everyone likes the chapter!

RECAP: Hermione and Ron are going to "take it slow" after she told Harry, Ginny and Ron about the cancer.

Ron's POV because I think we have arrived at the point where Ron's thoughts become vital to the story.

RPOV

I lie awake that night, staring at the ceiling. A million thoughts are screaming in my head. All of them scream her name.

Why her? So brave, so gentle and kind. It isn't fair. I get up. I'm too restless to lie there and sleep. All that is in my mind is her face, tear-stained yet determined, even when telling us the worst news imaginable. I pace the room. I remember the day at the castle, yesterday. Yesterday. She'd just had chemo. I remember when Harry's mum was having it, days when she cried climbing stairs. And she got up, walked around a castle and laughed with us. How much pain had she been in? Why hadn't I noticed? The signs were all there - the breathlessness, the tiredness. And I didn't do anything. I let her walk around that castle, even though she seemed to struggle with every step. I should have insisted she go home.

I want nothing more now than to wrap her in my arms and never again let her go. I remember when she told us we didn't have to hang around. I wanted to cry right then. So brave, in the face of impossible odds, and she didn't want to see us suffer. I think about her bandana, the other bandanas strewn over her bed, the bright tumult of colour against the darkness of cancer. How steady her voice had been, even as she'd cried, when she told us news that made my heart shatter as I stood there and looked at her. How she'd stumbled over telling us the worst case scenario - almost as if she'd been reluctant to tell us. My heart screams.

I sink onto my bed and put my head in my hands. The port on her chest, seeing the point where they pumped her full of drugs, killing her to save her. I can't even comprehend what it must be like. I turn on my laptop. I search for chemotherapy on the internet, research what happens during the treatment, what patients feel like. I couldn't have told anybody what I'd read, but the words on the screen played across my eyelids when I closed them. I stared at the wall. The house was silent, chillingly so. I look at the clock. Half past three. I'm not getting any sleep tonight. I get up, get dressed, slip out the front door and go down to the beach. But on my way I stop outside her window, staring up at it, hoping that she isn't having to lie there awake. Sleep must be her respite. I walk along the beach, staring through the darkness at the waves. Sunrise is already threatening on the horizon. I throw stones for awhile. I write her name in the sand just above the tide line, drawing a circle around it. I leave when the incoming tide washes it away. If only I could wash her cancer away as easily as the sea washed away her name. I stop outside her window again, watching the grey dawn touching her window. I sneak back in and make it back to my room without waking anyone.

I want to wrap her in my arms, stroke her face, kiss her lips, as if doing this would make her well again. I want to protect her from everything and everyone forever. I want nothing more than to take her burden on my own shoulders, to never let her worry about it again. If the devil appeared before me now and offered me the chance to save her by taking cancer for myself by selling my soul, I'd do it. I've never prayed before. But ii pray now. Is that bad of me?

I watch the sun rise. By the time seven o' clock rolls around, I'm done crying. I couldn't possibly cry any more. I don't remember when I started crying. But I didn't stop until my alarm clock sounded, telling me I had to get up, go to school. I got dressed again, changing out of the jeans and sweater I'd worn to the beach, dressing for school. How can the days continue, when my world is already slowing down? How can I carry on going, knowing what she has to carry with her. Then I set my teeth. I have to keep going. She does, every day. And if I'm going to be there for her, then I need to be there for her properly. I go down to breakfast when I always do. Ginny looks pale, but determined. I slip in beside her, and eat a slice of toast to satisfy mum. Ginny squeezes my hand under the table and smiles sadly at me. When the bus pulls up, we are ready and waiting. I scramble on first and look for her with something bordering on desperation. She isn't there. I push back through the throng of Weasleys behind me and set off running. Ginny yells after me, but the bus moves off. I run to her house, and start banging on the door. Her brother answers it. He looks dreadful - like he's been up all night.

"Where is she?" I gasp. I haven't sprinted that fast for a long time. "What's happened?" Hermione's mother appears behind her son.

"You must be Ron. Come inside."

"Is she alright?"

"Sit down, sweetheart," her mother says gently. She sits down next to me and puts one arm around me. "We had to take Hermione to hospital last night. She woke up at around one and she was complaining that she was in pain. She was pointing at her chest. We rang up the hospital to ask what we should do, and they sent an ambulance for her. She's there now, with her father. We came back, because one she'd come round from the sedative they gave her, she asked for you. We were going to drive down to the school and get you. You can come with us now. I'll call your mother and the school." Danny looks at me after his mother is gone.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"If you aren't prepared to stick by her for everything, then leave now," he says, his voice harsh. My head is spinning. "She doesn't need to be pining for you on top of everything."

"I would never hurt her Danny. Never. I'd kill myself before I hurt her. No matter what happens, I won't leave her."

"Good. That's my baby sister, and I mightn't say it, but I love her to bits. Protect her Ron. You can hold her in ways I can't. Keep her safe. Be there for her when she cries. Be there for her when she's in pain and when she's happy. Just be there."

"Always," I promise him.

"did you sleep at all last night?" he asks, sitting down in the armchair.

"No. You?"

"About an hour. Hermione went to bed first, quite early, about half-past nine, I think it was. She was already asleep when I went up at eleven. I read till about twelve, and then I went to sleep. She woke me up at around one, crying. She was trying to be quiet, I could see that. I asked her what was wrong. She said she was in pain. I asked her where this pain was. I thought she meant she had a headache. When she pointed at her chest, I nearly had a heart attack. I sat her up, and she said that felt a bit better. I went in and woke up mum and dad. The she yelled out for us, and we all went in to her. She was holding her chest and she was screaming that it hurt. Mum phoned the hospital, and they sent an ambulance for her. They sedated her here, because it hurt her so much to be moved anywhere. I've never seen her like that. We weren't allowed in the ambulance with her. We've been at the hospital all night."

"Come on, boys," Hermione's mother reappears. Not a word is spoken until we reach the hospital. Danny holds his mothers hand, his face white. She puts her arm around me, giving me a cuddle. A nurse takes us into Hermione. She's wake, sitting up. Her face is very white under the bright red of her bandana, but she stretches her lips into a smile when she sees me. It doesn't reach her eyes. Her family slip away, and I barely notice them.

We look at each other for a long time, the seconds ticking by. Then she pats the bed beside her. I sit down next to her and kiss her forehead gently. She pulls me down so I'm lying beside her. I put my arm around her and she cuddles in and buries her face in my chest.

"I was so scared, Ron," she mumbles. "I thought I was dying, I thought I was going to die."

"Shhh, Hermione, shhh. Don't say that. I'm here." I rub her back gently. I feel her literally relax under my touch. "Does it still hurt?"

"No, not any more. I never wanted you to see me like this."

"I made a promise when I kissed you. When I kissed you, I promised you that I wouldn't leave you, and I'd stay with you no matter what. And I mad e apromise to your brother too. I promised I'd never hurt you."

We lie like that for a long time. We don't talk. I hold her hand and sing softly to her. I don't realise she's fallen asleep until Danny comes back in.

"You are aware you're singing to someone who is sleeping?" he queries in a low voice, a tired but happy smile on his face.

"Is she? No, I didn't know," I murmur. He sits down and stares at her.

"It's the first time I've seen her sleep and look peaceful since she was diagnosed. You must be something special, Ron." I don't say anything. But I tighten my hold on her and kiss her bandana gently. I hold onto her until she wakes up. And when she looks at me with eyes full of peace, I know I'm in this forever.

I'm in love. What more is there, apart from the girl in my arms who looks at me with eyes of cinnamon?