Disclaimer:
Alice is who I am
I like to hang out with my vampire fam
I see the future all the time
And I like to make an awesome rhyme
Stephenie Meyer created me
And for this I'm super-happy
So Dahlia, Evelyn, and Ava too
Just wrote this story, not the characters, for you
Previous (ch. 3)
I stopped real quick and shoved a business card in Mike's direction. Alice had given me it before we had left the house, and it had the title Killer Nails written on it. Apparently that was where I worked. It also had the name "Edwina Honeycutt" on it, and my cell number as well with the message "If you ever want your cuticles done" handwritten on the back.
"Call me!" I yelled as the final line to my script, though I so wish he wouldn't.
MPOV
Edwina practically lunged through the door while tossing a business card over her shoulder. I was so confused but decided to let my emotions out through my diary . . . I mean private journal. (A/N picture on profile) My mom said that she wrote in her diary a lot as a kid. It helped get her emotions out without bothering anyone with her personal life and they wouldn't judge her. Mom gave me this pink unicorn diary last year and it's been working wonders!! I know you probably don't think it's manly but when I told her I didn't want it she started to cry and tell me how much she wanted a girl. I don't like to see my mom upset so I started to write in it and haven't regretted it since then.
5/22/09
Dear Di-Journal,
I met Edwina today and my life is complete. I didn't know I'd been missing anything in my life until she graced me with her presence. She's like a bright star that lit up my dark life and I'm blinded. (A/N recognize this?) She's a goddess. Anyone can see that. But I'm confused. She told me she wanted to meet up sometime but when I leaned in to make my big move she ran away. Could she not feel the same way for me? No way, I'm h-o-t, hot! I mean she said it herself I'm god's gift to the ladies. I think I'll call her today and set up a date, turn on the old Newton charm. She's the one; I can feel it.
Love,
Mike
I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning perfectly planning every little detail of our date. I talked to my mom and she told me there is nothing to worry about; fate brought us together.
EPOV
I don't know what the hell I've gotten myself into. It turns out Alice gave Mike my actual cell phone number! He has my number!! You've got to be kidding me. I know he'll call me too because Alice keeps dropping oh so subtle hints. Like "Hey, Eddie better keep your phone with you because you never know when someone important might call you up."
But that's not even the worst part. The worst part is anytime I try to throw the girly 'equipment' into the river along with my phone Alice sees it coming and with help from Jasper her husband/slave there is no way I'm going to ditch the stuff. Damn psychic powers.
The day after Mike was given my phone number he called me on the phone. What noob, he's soooo desperate. I mean come on, ever heard of the three-day rule?
Flashback
*ring, ring*
"Hello." I answer.
"Oh . . . um . . . hi . . . this is Mike, I guess this is the wrong number-"
Oh god. "Oh, no this is her father speaking. Hold on let me get her."
I fumbled my hand around the phone and called distantly "Edwina, Mike is on the phone."
Alice, Emmett, and Jasper came flying into the room a second later. Alice thought, "You better not screw this up Edward. I raised my eyebrows at her. "Or else." Even in her head the voice gave me shivers.
Emmett thought, "Damn I'm good at punishments, well bro this should be a warning to you that a) you're pathetically in love with Bella and b) don't bet with me as I am the Bet Master." He then proceeded to laugh evilly in his head but he got sidetracked and started thinking about how hot the Disney princesses were.
Jasper was singing a chorus of "Edward and Mike Sitting In a Tree" and having no desire to listen to that again I quickly blocked his mind.
"Hiya Papiya." I spoke in my sugarcoated false voice.
Alice thought, "Excellent". Emmett cheered, "PRANK MASTER" in his head and then proceeded to the concern of how Ariel gallivanted around in a bra. Jasper's singing got louder and more enthusiastic.
"Hey sweet-thang." Mike said with an attempt at a flirty voice.
"So . . . what's up?" This was damn awkward.
"Oh, so . . . I know we never really talked because you had to leave . . ." His voice broke and he sounded nervous, what an idiot. ". . . lemonade . . . watch . . . restaurant . . . curls." He resorted to rambling on with words that had appeared in our acquaintance. It really made no sense and took a considerable amount of effort not to laugh at his pathetic attempt at wooing me.
Alice cut in, "Now, now, be nice." in her head.
"Quit rambling boy!" shouted a stern voice. Wait, I knew that voice. Oh my god it was his mom, Mrs. Newton! That retard had his mom helping him and listening in on our conversation on the other line. Rambling boy? Oh this was too good.
At this point Alice was in tears from laughing. Emmett was rolling on the ground and banging his fist repetitively while Jasper was holding onto a table for support with one hand and holding his stomach with another hand. Also roaring with laughter.
"Mooom!" He whined. Really . . . really? Wow . . . just wow.
"Honey, go ahead ask her." His mom urged.
"Well, this is why Mike doesn't get second dates," Jazz thought.
"Okay . . . well . . ." Wait! He was actually taking advice from his mom. If stupid was a crime this boy would get the electric chair! " . . . we talked about meeting up soon and I know this great Mexican place."
"Good food." His mom urged, was he that bad at getting girls?
"Right, so I was wondering if you wanted to come with me? And maybe go for a movie after?"
Suddenly all of their thoughts bombarded me at the same time. I started with Alice first. "Edward, you better say yes. This is the most fun I've had in weeks and I'm not about to let you ruin that because of your stupid pride." I held the phone away and snorted. Her eyes narrowed and she gave me a death glare that made me visibly flinch. "You like that shiny Volvo, Eddie? Huh? Do ya? Wouldn't want anything to happen to it would you? Anything on accident perhaps?" I shot her a glare. This was no empty threat, Alice seemed innocent but she could give you hell if you got onto her bad side.
I moved onto Emmett. "I know I said that you didn't have to go out with him but I changed my mind and because I'm the prank master you will obey me. Hey Edward, I was thinking of trying out your piano. Everyone knew I did NOT like people touching my piano. I've never played before but it's fine, I'll teach myself." A picture of Emmett pushing down so hard on the keys he visibly broke the instrument floated to my mind. What was with all of these threats?
"Come on, one date Edward." Jazz exhorted. "You can make fun of him the entire time and the look on his face when you dump him at the end of the date will be priceless."
I don't really think I had a choice knowing both my piano and Volvo would be ruined along with my siblings calling me chicken forever. Literally.
"Okay, sure." I sighed. No matter what this was going to end badly. I could feel it.
Emmett, Alice, and Jasper began to dance and cheer rather jubilantly. I knew Alice was excited to go shopping for 'Edwina' again.
"Great, pick you up at 4 o'clock sharp." I could hear the eagerness in his voice. I shivered. What the hell was he planning?
"Yeah, bye."
"Bye." echoed Mike and his Mom.
End Flashback
Now I spend every moment of my existence dreading the loathsome day in which I will go out with Captain horse face for lack of better words.
Anyway, on another note Emmett has been acting really weird lately. All secretive and he's sang the song 'That's Not My Name' by the Ting Tings 873 times in 62 different languages. Rose thinks it's some type of inner challenge with himself to see how many languages he can translate it into and if he can break 1000 times. I don't know what's going on but I don't think I want to.
MPOV
She said yes!! I knew she would; they can never resist the guns. I think Mom helped. Although I didn't plan on her coming in to help me she really saved my butt. I mean I thought Edwina would think me to be a momma's boy if this happened but she seemed totally cool with it. I guess all guys call their girlfriends up and ask them out with their mom's help. Believe it or not I haven't really had a lot of girlfriends. Most people think me to be a ladies man but it's just a reputation. I can't stop the people from talking.
I have this one in the bag. Just you wait.
Yay here we have chapter four from our very own... EVIE! yay.. im excited cause i (dahlia) love this chapter. so funny. make sure to REVIEW! u know u wanna hit that little button.....
thanks always,
evie, dahlia, and ava